“Feed?” The edge in his voice told me he knew mine wasn’t idle curiosity. I was searching for a way to save him, and he was well aware of it. “After our father disowned him, Ian and Jenna relocated to this isolated town populated by incubi and their compeers. After Jenna vanished, the townsfolk initiated the protocols Ian and Jenna had agreed to. They saved him, if you want to call it that.”
“Compeer?” That was a new one.
“It’s what incubi call their mates,” he admitted with a grim twist of his lips. “Groups like the one Ian joined cater to incubi who have mated humans for the most part. Humans are frail, and they only get more fragile with age. Jenna was born null. Too many generations between her and magic for any gift to manifest. She’s basically human.”
“Those few drops of fae blood might have been the tipping point in keeping her alive during her incarceration.” I had my doubts whether a full-blooded human could have survived.
“It makes no sense why Balamohan would have taken her, except that her weak fae blood made her easier for him to control. I think she might have been his touchstone.”
That was a new term for me too. “What does that mean?”
“Some fae, especially the older ones, take a human each decade as a kind of tutor. Usually, they release the touchstone after their ten years of servitude have passed. The practice is barbaric and non-consensual. It’s also difficult—if not impossible—to prevent. We just don’t monitor humans that way.” He paused to scrub a hand down his face. “Jenna didn’t have a cell like yours. Balamohan kept her like a pet, chained in his office except when he sent her out for supplies, which supports the idea she was his current touchstone. Maybe the Morrigan knew he honored the practice and ordered him to stop abducting humans at the risk of exposing her. His workaround might have been to take a touchstone with a few drops of fae blood, who also fit the Morrigan’s profile as a woman with death-touched fae in her family tree.”
“It makes sense.” I tilted my head. “What about those protocols you mentioned? The ones Jenna and Ian agreed to?”
He shifted his feet, and the pained expression on his face said he had hoped I wouldn’t ask. He ought to know better by now.
“The group discovered a means of keeping incubi alive after the inevitable passing of a mate.” He dragged his gaze to mine. “From what they explained to me when I went to help with Ian, groups like theirs offer one of two options to their members. You join and sign a waiver of your rights, allowing them to save you against your will, at any cost. Or you sign the equivalent of a DNR, and they step aside and let you end your life however you choose.”
I felt like an idiot for blurting, “That’s where you went.”
“I didn’t have a choice.” His half smile encouraged me. “Not if I wanted to survive. The treatments worked for several months, but I was sick all the time and couldn’t live that way any longer.”
I set down my cup before it slid from my hand. “Except you did have another choice.”
“I did,” he admitted. “But you wouldn’t have. You would have been chained to me for life.”
“We could have made it work.” A sharp edge crept into my voice.
“You would have made it work even if you didn’t want it to, because you’re stubborn, you don’t take no for an answer, and you can’t let someone you love hurt when you can help them.” He rubbed a finger across his brow like that might help jumpstart his brain. “I fell so hard for you, I couldn’t slam on the brakes fast enough to save myself. I couldn’t chain you to me when you were so young or when I was…”
“My first love.”
“Yes. That.” His grizzled tone raised hair on my arms. “You crawled inside my head and scrambled everything my father taught me about why loving one woman is unnatural.” Shaw looked up then. “Compeer is an insult. It’s a term incubi use for women addicted to the lure. It’s the same as a human calling a man’s wife his whore.”
My teeth clicked together. “It sounds like your brother was smart to get out when he did.”
“He was,” Shaw agreed without hesitation. “Can you understand why I didn’t want that?”
“Losing family is the worst thing I can imagine.” Mom was all I had. Losing her would kill me. If being together meant Shaw had to choose me over his family, I wouldn’t have picked me either. “I get it. Really. Your family is more important to you.”
“Thierry, it had nothing to do with me. Or them. I severed ties with my family after they exiled Ian.” Exasperation spiked his voice. “I didn’t want that for you.”
“You’re serious.” I felt my eyes stretch wider. “You orchestrated our breakup…for me?”
Man logic for the win.
“We aren’t fated mates.” His thumb stroked the edge of my palm. “We’re as unfated as it gets.”
“Free will is a beautiful thing.” No divine hand moving pawns on a chessboard for us. “This doesn’t make you the smartest incubus in the realm, but I guess it really does make you mine.”
His shocked expression was comical. “You’re okay with this.”
“Okay is a stretch.” A single conversation wouldn’t banish my stockpile of bruised feelings and insecurities. Not to mention I had one husband already, and I was not interested in starting my own Linen-style collection. What I could do was promise Shaw I would try. “Okay is what happens once the IV line stops pumping me full of happy juice, and I can sit on my own couch, inside of my own apartment, and digest all this.”
“I’ll get Mai.” He still looked dazed. “She’ll want to know you’re awake.”
He lifted my hand and brushed his lips across my knuckles before pulling away.
“Hey,” I called once he reached the door. “I wouldn’t mind if you sat on that couch beside me.”
The tender smile he flashed me set my heart somersaulting. “I’ll bring the ginger beer.”
Two days later Dr. Row unhooked me from the IV pole and signed off on my discharge papers. Mai had offered to drive me from the medical ward to the marshal’s office, but I used puppy eyes on the doctor to get her to support my request to walk. Five blocks would work out the kinks in my legs and back, and the fresh air would flush out the antiseptic stinging my nose and the back of my throat.
It would also avoid the whole life-flashing-before-my-eyes thing Mai’s driving induced.
Mai passed me a bottle of water. “Tell me this isn’t about my driving.”
I tossed it in the air and caught it, flipping it end over end. “This isn’t about your driving.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I’m going to choose to believe you’re being sincere and not sarcastic.”
I nodded sagely. “You have chosen wisely.”
She thumped my ear. “Have you heard from Shaw?”
“Nope.” I fumbled the bottle. “Not since the day he dumped the whole I lied about lying thing in my lap.”
“You believe him.” It wasn’t a question.
“I do.” I huffed out an exhale. “I was so pissed off when he got back, and then Faerie happened. I feel like an idiot for not putting it together sooner. I should have seen the gaping holes in his story.”
“Yeah, well, don’t beat yourself up over it.” She hip bumped me. “I didn’t catch on either.”
“You were too busy leading the villagers’ pitchfork brigade.”
“No pitchforks were involved.” She spread her hands. “I’m more of a trial-by-flame-thrower kind of girl.”
I rolled my eyes and kept walking.
Her voice carried to me. “Shaw knew you had doubts or his plan wouldn’t have worked.”
My head swung toward her. “Whose side are you on?”
“Yours.” She raised both her hands. “He should have told you the truth.”
“He hired hookers, Mai.” I shook my head. “Who does that?”
With a put-upon sigh, Mai caught up to me and pulled on her serious face. “As much as I hate to be the one waving the Team Shaw flag again, I have to say thi
s. I might need to gargle after, but you need to hear it from someone who loves you and has better fashion sense.” Her face scrunched like it caused her physical pain to endorse Shaw. “He did you a favor by leaving. You got to learn your job and have a life outside of him, and you’re a stronger woman for it. You survived without him. You controlled your powers without him, and you earned a place with the marshals without standing in his shadow, Tee.”
“Dial it down, Mai.” I flushed beneath her praise. “I put one foot in front of the other, that’s it.”
“That’s it exactly.” Her dark eyes searched my face. “I know what he did for you in the caves. It wasn’t the first time either, was it? He expected it to happen. I see that now. There I was, urging you to suck Linen dry because I thought you healed faster the more you took. If Shaw hadn’t been there…” She bit her lip. “I get it now. I do. He grounds you. Feeding is like tossing back a lightning bolt for you, and he’s the surge protector. You guys fit. I got so used to hating him I forgot that part.”
Still wearing her I stepped in cat poop expression, Mai brushed past me.
I let that sink in before following her. “Is this your convoluted way of giving your blessing?”
“I…guess?” She held out her hand for the water. “All that nice tasted bad on the way up.”
I let her take a swig to rinse out her mouth before reminding her, “You used to like him.”
She spat onto the pavement. “I did.”
“Do you think you could like him again?” I kept the question neutral. “Forgive him?”
“Forgiveness is hard,” she admitted. “How are you doing in that department?”
I rolled my shoulders. “I might have an answer for you if he hadn’t pulled a Houdini on me.”
“Our magistrates are partnering with the Southeastern Conclave until this matter is resolved. They loaned out several of our marshals to aid in the rescue. Our office is flooded. I was pulled off my usual job and given a share of the psychological evaluations to process for victims who were assigned to our office.” She took another drink. “I haven’t seen Shaw either. That could be because he wasn’t around to be seen.” She polished off the half-empty water. “Chaos.” She tossed it in a trash bin. “It reigns.”
“Wait.” That made no sense. “We’re helping the Florida outpost process those cases? What about Georgia or Alabama?”
Ours was the nearest division, yeah, but there were several closer outposts.
“Um, about that.” She made a zipping motion across her lips. “I can’t say more than I already have.”
“With one Texas marshal involved and another one breaking the case…” I cut my eyes her way.
“Puppy eyes only work on the weak. I’ve built up immunity.” Smacking my back hard with her open palm, she shoved me stumbling forward. “Besides, I was there too. Remember?”
“That surprised me almost as much as being rescued,” I teased.
“Hey, I might have washed out of the marshal academy, but I had perfect attendance. I know the theory. Shaw unleashed his hunger, and there was no way I was letting him come after you without me—” she coughed the words and a silver dagger, “—to make sure he didn’t slurp you like a juice box.”
When the marshal office came into view, I threw on the brakes and tripped over my own feet. A petite woman with silver hair wearing oversized shades, a red skort set and navy flip-flops waved.
“That woman looks a whole lot like my mother.” Panic trembled in my voice. “Mai?”
“Shaw gave you twenty-four hours. It’s been forty-eight, and you still haven’t called her.”
I spun around and spluttered, but nothing intelligible came out.
Mai took one look at my face—and my slack-jawed, bug-eyed expression—and sprinted for the relative safety of the office like her life depended on it.
“It had to be done for your own good,” she called over her shoulder as she ran.
Mai’s brand of love was going to end up killing me if I didn’t kill her first.
No one had Mom’s contact information except for Mai and Shaw. Shaw might lecture me, but he wouldn’t interfere in my relationship with Mom without my say-so.
However, he lacked Mai’s “clinical experience”, and her habit of confusing intern for licensed medical professional. She would dial up Mom and spill her guts in a heartbeat if she felt it was best for me.
Too late to turn back, I kept shuffling toward the office, praying this was all some lingering drug-induced hallucination.
“Stop dragging your feet,” the woman who sounded suspiciously like my mother yelled.
I kicked it up a gear to a jog tortoises everywhere would envy.
“Oh, for pity’s sake.” The woman huffed silver hair from her eyes and marched toward me. She reached me before my feet followed my brain’s shouted orders to turn tail and run for real. “What in the world were you thinking not calling me? You vanished for two weeks. Two weeks. I thought you were on vacation in Daytona.” She planted her size seven flip-flops on the pavement. “Was that a lie? Were you afraid to tell the truth?”
Yes. “I did go to Daytona on vacation.” My palms went damp. “After I was suspended—”
A terse finger shoved the sunglasses onto her head. “You were suspended?”
Her indignation puzzled me. “Yes?”
Even more baffling, her eyes had sprung a leak.
“This is my fault.” She gripped my upper arms and shook me. “I made my own child afraid to tell me the truth.”
“Momma.” I winced while she rattled my brain. “It’s fine. I swear.”
“That’s not what Jackson said when he called this morning. He told me about that man, Balamohan.”
Et tu, Shaw? “He did?”
“You are such a brave girl.” She brushed hairs from my forehead. “Braver than I ever was.”
I shifted on my feet, unsure where to look. I hated seeing her cry, hated making her cry.
“Sorry to interrupt.” Mai hooked a thumb over her shoulder. “The magistrates are waiting.”
Mom hesitated before taking her first step toward the building. “I’ll wait for you in the lobby.”
“This might take a while,” Mai warned.
Mom was not to be deterred. She set her shoulders back. “We’ll play it by ear, then.”
Draping an arm around her shoulders, I led her inside the building and straight to Mable, whose eyes widened a fraction before she blinked away her surprise.
I nudged Mom forward. “Do you mind keeping her company?”
Mable, who had been filing papers in a cabinet pushed against the wall, grasped the situational context immediately. Humans with fae relatives were allowed through the door with an escort, but they weren’t allowed to leave the waiting area and had to be chaperoned while on conclave grounds.
Throwing Mable and Mom together for the first time and then ditching them was not how I pictured this meeting going down. Actually, I had never imagined the two women who raised me would be in the same room together. Ever.
After patting her hair, Mable thrust out a plump hand. “I’m Mable.” She beamed. “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, dearie.”
“I’m Agnes. Hi.” Mom took her hand. “You’re sure I’m not taking you away from work?”
“Paperwork will keep.” Merry laughter rang out. “This is a special occasion. Come with me.”
Mom let herself get ushered toward Mable’s private quarters with a last slightly panicked look at me. “Thierry?”
On my way past, I dropped a kiss on each of their cheeks. “Mable will take good care of you.”
“Come on, Tee.” Mai indicated the stairs. “They’re eager to get started.”
“Funny thing.” I trailed her close enough to breathe on her neck. “Turns out Shaw called my mom.”
“Huh.” Her steps quickened. “He did that?”
The predator in me was amused. “No sly little foxes put a bug in his ear about it, did they?”<
br />
She pointed to herself. “This sly little fox wouldn’t touch a bug with a ten-foot pole.”
I snapped my teeth near her ear, laughing when she jumped two steps. “That is not an answer.”
After bounding up the last flight, she skidded to a stop before the gleaming silver wood doors, braced a hand on the knocker and spun around.
“Here we are,” she panted. “Guess we’ll have to talk later.”
“Yeah.” I flashed my teeth. “Let’s make that happen.”
Shaw might chastise me in private, but going over my head meant crossing a line I had drawn in the sand a long time ago. He wouldn’t have done it unless someone who knew us both well, someone whose judgment he trusted, convinced him that it was time Mom unburied her head out of said sand.
“You may enter,” a cultured voice called.
Here we go. I twisted the knob and stood frozen in the open doorway. The entire composition of the room had changed. The creepy mirror effect was gone, replaced by a creepier circle made of spindly silver chairs. Fourteen spots. Three empty chairs. Our magistrates, Evander and Kerwin, filled two, and a petite fae woman I recognized from an old case I had worked with Shaw occupied another. Irene Vause. A magistrate with the Northeastern Conclave. I bet the dour guy bent to her ear was her Unseelie counterpart.
In front of me, three chairs stood empty. On the opposite end of the loop, Shaw watched me.
Subtle inhales carried the scent of rich magic and apprehension, an interesting combination coming from this crowd. Walking into that eerily silent room with zero idea about what had prompted a gathering of this magnitude made my palm crackle from the electric charge in the air. I felt like a matchstick at a powder-keg convention, like if I struck out at the wrong person, the whole room might go ka-boom.
Evander seized control of the proceedings by gesturing to the empty seats. “You look well.” He affected a sincere demeanor. “I wish we had the luxury of time for you to make a full recovery.”
“I appreciate your concern,” I said stiffly.
He folded his elegant hands. “You must be curious about what prompted this gathering.”
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