by Molly Bryant
I crossed my arms. “This was not fair to me, Ben, at all. I am embarrassed, and so angry.”
“I am so sorry, Vanessa,” he let's out a breath of air then ran his fingers through his hair again. I wished that I could do that; run my fingers through his hair. I felt my hand twitch at the thought so I shoved my hands into my back pockets.
“I am telling Ellen on Monday that I will not do this anymore,” I said confidently when I already know I will chicken out on Monday morning.
“I won't deny you that, I understand,” he nodded.
Wait, what? He agrees with me?
“Don't let me ruin your night, I will leave.” he walked toward the front door then stopped before turning around again. “I just wanted to let you know that I didn't say those things to your brother. I never called you crazy...I was just talking about you and that's how he perceived my words,”
I felt bad inside. Even though I thought he had called me a crazy chic and bragged about the fact that I haven't had a date in over a year to my brother, broke my dinner plans with Jordan behind my back, brought on emotional distress which caused me to get into an accident, and the biggest one was hiding being my brothers childhood best friend and took advantage of my mental ignorance- he still didn't deserve to be treated like a piece of garbage.
“Ben,” I sighed in defeat. “You don't have to leave, you're here visiting my brother.”
He smiled a huge grin that I couldn't help but smile myself. “Yeah?”
I nodded lightly. “I am only telling you to stay because I don't want to ruin Ethan's night,” I shrugged. “No point in making someone else suffer,”
With up-most confidence he walked over to me then stopped when his chest touched mine. “Please don't talk to my aunt on Monday,” he whispered. “Please,” I could feel his breath on my face swirling with the essence of whiskey and coke.
“Ben, I-”
“Please,” he begged again as he wiped a loose strand of hair from my forehead. “I am so sorry for not being honest with you, I won't do it again,”
“Seriously, this is your last chance, McGurthy,” I poked his chest with my finger. Normally, I would had told him where to shove his apology as I'm not a real softy when it comes to forgiveness. However, something about Ben makes me a little bit more forgiving. I hate him...
“Friends?” he held his hand out.
I playfully shoved him towards the door. “Don't push it, Ben,” I laughed aloud, still feeling the slight tingle from where his finger brushed against the skin of my forehead.
As we entered the house I could hear my mother. “What did you
guys do to Nessy? If she leaves this anniversary dinner, there will be no Christmas, understand me?”
“Mom, I didn't do anything to her, she is not leaving. I can promise you that,” I heard Ethan say for more than likely the twentieth time.
Ben stopped walking so I could walk into the dining room first. I felt my face get warm as I am still embarrassed from what had happened.
My mom stood up quickly then wrapped me in a hug. I took a huge breath in, smelling her sweet scent. “I am so glad you didn't leave,”
“Told you,” Ethan laughed.
Within seconds it was like nothing ever happened. We continued with cocktails for another hour or so; laughing and talking. Ethan had brought up several memories of him and his childhood friend. Oddly enough as it is, now that I know his childhood friend is Ben, I remember I was involved in nearly all of it. From Mr. Fluffy loosing his 'fluff', to my favorite Barbie faces being melted during experiments with magnifying glasses. I was involved- always.
“I loved that Barbie,” I frowned.
I loved that thing more than I loved myself. I cried for days when I found her melted. She was a Special Edition Birthday Barbie. With her long-blonde curly hair and fluffy pink dress with sparkles. It took my mother weeks to find her.
“I also loved the amount of money I spent on her,” My mother added, glaring at Ethan and Ben.
“It was all for the experiment, mom,” Ethan smiled widely. “Which I might add worked, and she melted nicely. It happened quickly, she felt nothing,”
My jaw dropped, the guys laughed hysterically... including my father.
“Alright, that's enough,” Mom sighed as she stood up. “I think we all have had enough drinks, it's dinner time,”
~
My dad had made his prime rib which I might add is the best this side of the east coast. We were all quiet through-out dinner as we savored the taste of the prime rib, asparagus, garlic bread and salad. I missed my parents cooking as I mainly live on vegetables, and Lean Cuisines.
“So I hear you and Ben are working together,” My dad states as he poured myself, my mother, and Jackie more wine. My mother insists those who drank more than two glasses are not going anywhere tonight.
“Yes,” I looked over at Ben who is sitting right next to me. He nudged me with his elbow, a smirk across his face.
“Don't touch me,” I mumbled.
“Well?” My dad pushed.
“It's just a piece on males and their ways with woman,” I shrugged taking a drink of my wine. “Dad, you know I can't talk about the articles until they publish,”
“Okay,” he held his hands up. “Didn't mean to pry,”
“So who is helping me clean up?” My mother asked as she stood from her chair.
“We will clean up, you're not doing anything,” I smiled standing from my seat picking up my dirty dishes. “You both cooked, it's your day,”
“I'll help you,” Ben said as he stood, picking up his dishes.
“Head to the kitchen, Vanessa. I'll bring you the dirty dishes, you load,” he winked.
“Okay,” I smiled.
I carried what dishes I had in my hands to the kitchen. I set them in the sink and turned the water on.
“I think someone is taking a liking to my daughter,” Mom said from behind me.
I laughed. “Who, Ben?”
“Yes, Ben...” she leaned against the counter smiling. “Haven't you noticed the way he smiles at you?”
“Mother, no he doesn't smile at me in any way at all, that is just him,” I snorted. “He is a player, he plays and uses woman. That is why we are working together on this article,” I said glumly. Not that I care if he did like me, he is a pig.
I could hear the music blast in the background and within a few seconds my father comes dancing into the kitchen with Ben behind him carrying arm fulls if dishes. “Mrs. Montello, may I have this dance?” My dad asked my mom then kissed the back of her hand.
“Why yes, Mr. Montello, I would like that very much,” her cheeks turned pink and she nods. I smiled liking that my dad after all of these years still has that effect on her.
“Shall we?” he tilted his head toward the living room where the music is blaring from.
“We shall,” she smiled looping her arm through his, letting him lead the way. My hands still under the running water as I watched their retreating backs with a smile upon my face.
“Pretty amazing, right?” Ben snapped me out of it.
“Yeah, too bad relationships like that do not exist anymore,” I turned towards the sink scrubbing at the barbeque sauce on the plate.
“Here,” Ben said as he held his hand out for the soapy dish. I handed the plate to him and he sticks it in the dishwasher.
“Thank you,” I continued to scrub the next dish then handed it to Ben.
“Why do you think relationships like theirs don't exist?” he asked quietly.
I shrugged. “I don't know, Ben. I get forwarded letters and emails from hundreds of female readers everyday saddened by the way that they are being treated by their partners,”
“Okay,” Ben takes the next plate from my hands.
“Okay. So what I'm trying to say is that it just doesn't exist anymore,” I sighed.
“Relationships without the love your parents share never existed,” he stated taking another plate from me. “Love
will always exist, you just have to find it,”
“Yeah, says the one person who has never committed to anything in his life accept for the 'player code',” I said sarcastically.
“How can you say that? You know nothing about me, you are assuming,” he put a glass in the dishwasher.
“I am not assuming, I know,” I argued.
Ben leaned up against the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. “Just because you did one piece with Dr. Rose, it doesn't make you an expert on love and relationships,”
I stare at him for a moment, frozen in place. How did he know about that? That article was published over three years ago.
“I never said I was an expert on love and relationships, Ben. I've spent a lot of time with her, she has taught me quite a bit... the woman is intelligent,” I loved hanging out with Dr. Rose. She is one of the leading experts on love and relationships-what makes them tick, thrive or fall and explode.
“You know what? You're right, she is so fucking fantastic...In fact, she is so brilliant that she can take perfect relationships with normal relationship problems and make them believe that they are doomed for divorce and break-ups,” he sighed pushing himself from the counter then grabbed the silverware and placed it in the dishwashers basket. “You need to stop listening to all the bullshit garbage and stop being so close-minded about men and relationships, Vanessa,”
I squeezed the sponge in my hands tightly. “What?! I am not being closed minded, and how dare you drop the f-bomb while talking about Dr. Rose!”
“Yes you are, and Dr. Rose can kiss my white ass!” he huffed. My mouth gaped open at his choice of words for Dr. Rose. “You only know of the hundreds of upset woman because they continuously let the wrong men into their lives... what about the millions of woman out there who are happy?”
“They are in other parts of the United States, and all around the world writing some other magazine that exists out there,” I piped back.
“You don't know that,” he shakes his head.
“Yes, I do,” I argue.
“No,” he shook his head again.
“Yes,”
“No,”
“Yes,” I threw the sponge into the sink. I will win this one.
“Alright, you two...” Ethan said as he brings in more dishes. “You guys forgot these, and quit fighting,”
“Is she always like this?” Ben asked Ethan.
“Close-minded, yes,” he laughed. “Once she thinks one way about something... well, then there is no other way,”
“So stubborn,” Ben smiled at me. I sighed then turned around to grab the heaping tray of dirty dishes.
“Where's Jackie?” I asked, scrubbing away.
“I took her upstairs to my old room, she's laying down...” he smiled. “Drunk,”
“Speaking of drunk...” Ben said drying his hands off. “Shot for shot?” he smiled wickedly.
“Hell yes, my friend,” Ethan rubbed his hands together swiftly. “And I've got something to show you,”
“Give me a second, I'll finish helping Nessy,” Ben held his hands out for the next dish.
“Stop calling me that, just go,” I put the salad bowls in the washer. “I've got it,” He needs to go away and leave me the hell alone.
“Dude, do you remember that one time we shot the neighbors dog with the air-soft gun I got for my birthday?” Ethan trailed off.
“Yeah! You still have the gun?!” Ben asked excitedly. I laughed.
“You know it, and the neighbors have another dog too,” they both cracked up, their laughter disappearing out of the kitchen.
I shook my head and continued with the dishes. I took the sponge and a rag then cleaned up the kitchen table. I scoot in the chairs and put a clean-silk table cover on then threw the dirty one in the laundry room. I poured myself a new glass of wine and went into the living room taking the bottle with me where the music was still playing but a little quieter. I see my parents had headed to bed; I am assuming they had had a little too much to drink as well. They didn't even say goodnight. I was finally alone to relax. I changed the station to Frank Sinatra and plopped down onto the couch. I sighed, thankful that I was finally alone. Not caring where anyone had gone, I took my heels off and leaned back into the couch sipping my glass of goodness.
I started to think about the conversation that Ben and I had had in the kitchen earlier.
“Close-minded my ass,” I mumbled taking another sip of wine.
He doesn't know anything about relationships, all he knows is how to use and abuse woman. He is a loser that should be put to shame. I am not a close minded person, I call it how I see it. And as far as relationships are concerned, they do not exist-at least the good ones. As for love, I suppose if you fell in love with the perfect person, it could work. Am I agreeing with him? Absolutely not because there is no perfect person. I don't care for relationships, that is why I am single and am okay with it. In fifteen years the way everyone is turning out, we will all be alone.
Almost an hour and nearly the entire bottle of wine later, I am feeling pretty darn good again. I am sitting looking at the photo albums my mother had nestled in the entertainment center. I placed the one I was now finished with back in it's place grabbing another one- it had my name across the front. I smiled as I sat upon the couch opening it up staring at a slightly pudgy me with the stupidest smile across my face baring my braces with my chubby cheeks touching the bottom of the frame of my glasses. I couldn't help but laugh aloud.
“What's so funny?” a male voice said from the archway to the living room.
I looked up to see Ben leaning against the archway's frame. He was smiling, a glimmer in his blue eyes.
I continued to laugh aloud. “My picture,” I looked at the picture again, this time to laugh hysterically. I leaned back into the couch, one hand on my stomach and the other cradling my glass of wine trying not to pill it. “It's so hideous!” I laughed.
“Let me see it,” he walked over to the couch and sat down next to me grabbing the photo album from the coffee table setting it in his lap. He looked down at the picture then smirked. He doesn't laugh though.
“Isn't it ridiculous? I was so awful!” I laughed.
“Not awful, cute,” he said thoughtfully, then smiled.
“Shut up,” I grabbed the album from his lap and sat it on the coffee table. I laughed again as I looked at it. “You can say that now because I am nothing like that anymore,”
I poured some more wine into my glass and took a drink. Ben picked up the bottle to see that there was barely one more glass worth in it.
“Vanessa, did you drink this entire bottle to yourself as though you haven't drank enough already?” he asked shocked. “Where are your parents?” He sounded like he were talking to a child.
“Yes I did,” I said proudly patting his chest with my hand. “I guess they went to bed, they were gone when I came in here an hour ago,” I shrugged.
“Here,” he stood up and set the bottle on one of the entertainment center shelves. “That glass is it. You're turning into a lush,”
“Party pooper,” I pouted. He laughed and I smiled. “I am not a lush, I've had a very bad day,” I leaned forward and continued to turn the pages of the album, Ben's eyes on me the entire time. I could feel his stare burning a hole through me.
“I had so much fun on that trip,” I point my manicured fingernail at a photo of myself in front of the San Diego Zoo sign in my favorite lavender sundress with white daisies all over it.
“Yeah, it was fun,” he smiled. Ben had come with us too.
My eyes roamed the pages and to my surprise, I had seen a little blonde haired boy in the background of nearly all of the pictures smiling at me as I struck poses for my parents. I crease my brows and notice that it was Ben in each and every one of them. Mostly, you could tell he had no idea he was even in the photos.
I flipped the page. In the next photo, I was in front of the tiger exhibit holding a stuffed tiger with a huge grin from
ear to ear. I looked next to the sign that said 'Bengal Tiger Exhibit' at the edge of the photo. Ben was standing next to it, eyes towards me, smiling.
What in the world? I laughed and pointed at the little blonde Benjamin in swimming trunks, flip-flops, and a tank top. “Peek-A-Boo, Benny!” I laughed aloud.