by Bianca Vix
Dylan pats my leg. “It’s not the bi or gay thing itself that’ll matter. It’s if Ian decides he hates us for that reason, he’ll start any kind of rumor just to jack us up. Because that’s how he rolls. He could say that we’re some kind of terrorists, or we eat babies for dinner. It doesn’t even matter what he says, or how crazy it is. As long as it pushes people’s buttons and turns them against us. And any rumor that he starts would have weight, since he and his band can say they actually witnessed us do whatever bad thing they can come up with. Because our bands are going to be together at the festival.”
Huh. I’d never thought of that. “Do you really think he’d do something like that?”
“Yeah, it’s not only possible, it’s likely,” Dylan says. “I worked on a tour with them a long time ago. They managed to get an opening slot when the original band had to pull out at the last minute. I saw them do it to a lesser-known band, just so they could climb over them. And it worked. Ian and his band of idiots will be ruthless when they decide to be.”
“It’s mostly Ian.” Jett rolls onto his side to face me. “But he has no problem getting the rest of his band on board for whatever he wants to do. Us openly being a threesome isn’t a small issue, especially not now. Not when everything’s heading in the right direction for Tailspin.”
The three of us lie in silence. I can’t think of what to say, because I’m not sure what to do.
“Maybe we should keep us hidden. Just for awhile.” I hate to suggest it. I don’t want to hide what’s becoming the best relationship I’ve ever been in, my whole life.
Dylan’s not loving the idea either, judging by the way he tenses up beside me. “How’s that going to work? Unless we pretty much don’t see each other at all. Things have a way of getting out, no matter how careful everyone is. There’s always going to be a chance to slip up. And that kind of thing usually happens right at the worst possible time. Do you really want us to hide, Shayla? For how long? Just for the festival? Or always?”
Dylan’s rapid-fire questions catch me by surprise. I turn my head to face him. “I don’t know. I haven’t thought it through, it’s just an idea. But it’s the only one I can think of. Do you have a better one?”
“No. But I know I don’t want to keep us hidden. I tried that before. It just doesn’t work. Things get out. People get hurt when secrets are kept.”
Jett stretches. “The problem is, it’s not just about us. It’s the future of the band. Our relationship could mess up everyone’s future. We can figure it out later.”
He’s not registering how upset Dylan’s getting. I speak up before he can say anything to make this worse. “What about us, and our future? Hiding isn’t a good option, now that I really think about it. Plus, the festival’s coming up very soon.” I swallow hard. “Maybe I should go back to New York now. That would take care of the threesome aspect coming out.” I don’t want to leave them. Not yet. It’ll be hard enough to do that once my vacation time is used up. But I can’t come up with any other solution.
“That would suck.” Dylan runs his hand over my bare hip, his touch making me shiver even now. “And it doesn’t help with the issue of Jett and I being together. There’s no way that won’t attract Ian’s attention. I don’t think he has enough spare brain cells to even try and believe that a threesome relationship could actually be a real thing. So he’d focus on us.”
“We need to go.” Abruptly Jett sits up. “We’re getting together with everyone else for dinner tonight, remember?”
Jumping out of the bed, he disappears before either Dylan or I can even answer him. Faint sounds of the shower drift into the room.
“Guess that’s that.” Dylan doesn’t sound any less agitated.
“What do you mean? We haven’t figured anything out yet. What are we going to do?”
He pulls me in for a hug, but his mind is clearly elsewhere. “You know Jett. He’s not one for talking things out.”
I do know that. It’s what helped to break us up. I’m not going to let that come between us again. “If it’s such a big deal, and I think it is, we need to work something out. Some kind of plan to protect ourselves and Tailspin.”
Dylan kisses my cheek. “If you have another idea rather than you leaving, I’m all ears. Otherwise, I’ve got nothing.”
“We shouldn’t have to do anything. Ian and his band can just leave us alone and fuck off.”
He blinks. “You’re right. They should. But chances are they won’t. Ian’s a piece of work and that’s putting it mildly. He’s got some deep issues going on. I don’t know what they are, but he’s an angry guy. And he’ll take it out on anyone in his path. If he finds out about us, we’re going to be a prime target.”
“It’s not right.” There has to be a way around this. There just has to be.
“No, it’s not. But that’s how it is when you’re in a relationship that scares some people for some reason. Welcome to the world of the bisexual man.”
I know Dylan’s right. But I can’t stop trying to figure something out. My thoughts turn as we lie in silence. I can’t let some random stranger dictate our lives.
It’s not right.
Chapter 17
Jett
Dylan’s scowling his way through dinner. Shayla has hardly spoken two words. Like I’m not tense enough already. We’re bringing everyone else down, too.
It doesn’t help that Bailly chose the restaurant, and the food is terrible. At least we have some privacy in their single secluded room that they keep in the back. The table’s so small and crowded, everyone’s bumping elbows as we try to eat.
At least the beer’s pretty damn good. I swallow about half of my glass while nobody’s speaking. This is no way for us to be hanging out before a show.
Zac gets right to it. “What’s up with you guys?” He’s staring at me. I know what he’s talking about. Just like he knows what I’m going to say already.
My throat suddenly going dry, I take another long drink of beer before I answer. I’m not exactly nervous. Not entirely calm either.
“There’s something I want you guys to know about.” Seth glances up at me, but Bailly doesn’t. “Shayla and Dylan and I are together. Like a…couple.”
Now I’ve got their attention. Bailly and Seth look like a bomb went off. Their shock is so plain and evenly matched, they could be twins. It’s kind of funny.
“What?” Bailly nearly knocks his glass off the table. “What’re you talking about?”
I was thinking we’d been obvious enough that they’d figure it out for themselves. But he and Seth really do live in their own little world most of the time. And I guess I have to admit, a threesome isn’t exactly the first thing anyone would come up with by looking at us.
“The three of us are all together.”
“Together? You mean fucking?” Trust Bailly to keep it extra classy. Jesus Christ.
“Yeah, that’s what I mean.”
“Oh.” Seth goes back to his dinner. Unlike the rest of us, he’s not finding anything wrong with the food.
“All of you?” Bailly’s eyes stray from me to Shayla to Dylan. Dylan glares at him and he turns his attention back to me.
“Yes. All three of us. Got a problem with that?” I don’t mean to sound as confrontational as I do. Bailly’s not even being an asshole right now.
Still. Every damn thing is fucking well grating on my nerves right now.
He shrugs. “No. Never knew you were into guys, is all.” He picks up his fork again, diving into his food just like Seth is. Maybe my meal’s the only bad one tonight.
I don’t like to admit it, but Bailly’s basically a good guy. He’s a jerk a lot of the time, but under it all, he’s okay.
It means a lot that my band mates don’t have a problem with us being three. Except Zac is the one who’s eyes are narrowing.
He frowns at me. “You really think this is the best time to go public, Jett?”
“We’re not going super-public. Not now. But I
figured everyone else in Tailspin should know.”
“That’s good. It makes sense not to come out about everything now. At least not until after the festival.” Zac’s voice goes low. “Ian isn’t someone to mess around with.”
“I know.”
“So you’ll keep it quiet?” Zac’s more serious than I think I’ve ever seen him.
“Sure. We haven’t quite figured out exactly how we’re going to keep him out of our business. But we will.”
He stares at me. “Don’t fuck things up.”
“I won’t.”
My head’s starting to ache at the thought of Ian and what he might do. I don’t want to think about an asshole like him. Especially not before a big show. I take another stab at my food, shoving a forkful of mashed potatoes into my mouth. I’ve never felt less like eating.
“How’s your dinner?” Shayla’s trying to get us off this subject. She’s sweet. But not even Shayla being herself is enough to unwind the tension coiled up inside me.
“Fine.” It actually is getting better. Especially as I drink more beer.
Maybe that’s the secret to this conversation too. I grab for the pitcher.
Dylan hasn’t said a single word. Matter of fact, he hasn’t so much as glanced over in my direction since we sat down. Shayla looks like she has a helluva lot to say, but she’s holding it all in. That won’t last forever, not a chance. I don’t know what’s up with either one of them.
“Isn’t it time to get going?” Seth breaks the tense silence.
“Yeah. It is.” Zac pushes his chair out. He grabs my arm before I can stalk out. Shayla glances back, and then disappears. Leaving us alone.
“You know I’ve got your back, man. We all do. It’s not about that.”
“I know.”
“And you know now that Ian can be a vicious little fucker, right?”
“Yeah. I checked up on him.”
“All I’m saying is, watch your back. He’ll stab you in it as soon as he’d look at you, if you get on his radar. He’s not above taking down as many people as he can at the same time. It’s like his hobby or something. I asked a couple friends of mine who’ve been on their tour this time around. Whatever you’ve read about him doing before, it’s gotten worse. He’s way out of hand.” Zac pauses, running a hand through his hair. “Even more than usual. Be careful.”
“I will.”
Zac claps me on the back as we walk out and join the others. Shayla shoots me a concerned glance. Dylan still won’t look at me.
Fuck.
Chapter 18
Shayla
The highway sign flashes past almost before I register what it says. Miami. 250 miles.
We’ll get in late tonight. The festival’s only a day away. No matter what else is going on, it’s always in the back of my mind. I can’t get away from thinking about it. And even though they’re both refusing to talk about it anymore, I can tell that Dylan and Jett are worried too.
Dylan’s napping. Jett’s working through something on one of their songs with Bailly. I’m too restless, too tired of being on the bus to settle down. I usually love long stretches of time. They give me a great chance to read. Tonight, I just can’t get into it.
I text Leah to see if she’s free to talk. I haven’t even told her about Jett and Dylan yet. I need to talk to someone. I tap out a message.
She doesn’t reply. I check the time. Makes sense. It’s a week night and it’s late in New York.
But it’s not quite too late to call the other side of the country. Almost. I decide to chance it.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Shayla?” She sounds surprised, but thankfully not like I’ve woken her up. “It’s so good to hear from you! How are you? How’s work?” Just hearing her voice is so soothing, I relax and sink further down into the seat.
With a pang of guilt, I realize it’s been a long time since we’ve spoken. That’s unusual for us. I like talking to her. And I haven’t even told her I’m touring around with Tailspin.
“I don’t mean to call so late.” I don’t even know where to start. How can I tell her in one short phone call about everything in my life changing so much and so fast?
“Is something wrong?” She sounds concerned. If I tell her everything, will she worry about me more than she already does?
“No. Yes.” I pause. “Kind of.”
“What is it? No matter what it is, you can talk to me. You know that.”
“Well, it’s about Jett. I don’t know what to do.” And although I only mean to tell her the basics for now, it all comes pouring out of me. Jett. Dylan. The tour. The festival. Everything.
Her silence lasts longer than I want it to. I take a deep breath before I ask. Do I really want to know what she’s thinking now? “Mom? Are you upset with me?”
“No. Of course not. Why would I be? You haven’t done anything wrong. It’s a lot to take in. That’s all. It’s rather a different kind of situation you’re in, isn’t it.”
I have to laugh. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
“You know, Shayla. One man is trouble enough. And now you have two on your hands. That alone won’t be easy. But I remember Dylan from back when you were in school together. It’s hard to imagine him as a grown man now. But I always liked him. Does he make you happy?”
“Yes. He does. And being back with Jett is great too. It’s just that his life is so different from mine now. And Dylan, even though he’s not in a famous band, he might as well be. I don’t know if we should be together. All three of us. It’s causing a lot of conflict for everyone around us.”
I don’t know why I said that. But once it’s out there, it feels true. I’ve been doubting us. How can I be?
But I am.
“Darling. Do you doubt them? Dylan and Jett, I mean. Are you unsure of how they feel about you?”
“No. Not at all.” That’s about the only thing I am sure of these days.
“And you have feelings for both of them?”
I don’t have to think about that. “More than any man I’ve ever known.”
“Then everyone else is just going to have to live with it. I know it won’t be easy. People don’t like to accept differences. But give them time. They will. Anyone who doesn’t, doesn’t matter.”
“But it could mess with Jett’s career. And not just him, but the whole band’s future.”
“Some things you can’t control, Shayla. You know that. It’s a risk. But so is being in love. Jett will have to decide for himself what he wants most in the world. Being in a famous band, or being with both of you.”
I only wanted to talk to my mother to get this off my chest. I never thought she’d be so insightful. Because that’s really what it comes down to. So simple.
But not so easy.
“Shayla, you don’t sound very happy. Your relationship should be making you happy most of the time. At its core, it should be a good one. All you have to do is ask yourself if that’s true. Then you’ll know what to do. Maybe you could come home and visit. I miss you. Getting some distance might let you get more perspective.”
Watching the empty road fly by outside the window, it’s tempting. It would be so easy just to pick up and get away from whatever we’re heading to in Miami. But even if there was enough time, I can’t leave Jett and Dylan to face the festival on their own.
“I can’t right now, Mom. The timing won’t work. But I’ll try and visit as soon as I can. I promise.”
“That’s great, Shayla. Come any time you can.”
“I will. I have to go now.”
“It’s so good to talk to you, Shayla. Take care, and make sure you’re having some fun.”
My phone vibrates just after I hang up. It’s a text from Leah, checking if everything’s okay with me. Quickly I reply to let her know that I am, and that we can catch up when it’s not so late for her.
I already feel so much better just from talking to my mother, I can’t even believe it. Most of the worry has drained out of me.
At least for now. It’s nice to remember that there’s a whole other world out there that doesn’t revolve around tours and fame and music. And rules and conflict.
From what I can hear, Jett’s still working with Bailly. I walk back to where Dylan’s sleeping. He’s awake now, tapping at his phone.
“Hey.” His face lights up when he sees me. And in that instant, I know. There’s no question. I’ll do whatever I need to, to be with him and Jett. We can take on anything.
We have to.
Chapter 19
Dylan
Miami. It’s hot as hell here. Normally I like to have the time to wander around and check out the festival grounds before everything starts up, but I’m not into it at all today. Jett’s with the band. For once he pulled himself out of bed before Shayla and I, and he was gone when we got up.
Shayla wants to see everything before the gates open. I’m walking around with her, lagging behind. It’s too damn hot out here to enjoy anything, even in the rare pieces of shade. The space is wide open. It’s basically a huge field of dry, burned grass. Yet somehow I’m feeling claustrophobic.
She’s finally done looking at jewelry or whatever it is at one of the stands. “We’ve seen everything there is to see, Shayla. Let’s go get something to eat.” I’m not that hungry, but I can’t stand being here another moment. And I could use some more coffee.
“Sure. I’m starving.”
I grab her arm as she turns to head towards the stage. Her nose wrinkles up in that cute way she has sometimes, when she’s about to ask a question.
I speak up before she can. “Not backstage. It’s too crazy back there. I want to get out of here for awhile, we’ll be here long enough later on.”
“Do we have time?”
“Yeah, tons.”
She gets her phone out but I’m too impatient. I slide my arm around her and take her in the direction of the nearest exit.
“What about Jett? I can text him.”
“He’s busy. We’ll find him later, when we get back.”
She raises her eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. Maybe she can tell that I’m not in the mood to be around him right now. “There’s a place I like that’s close by.”