by Lexie Davis
His lips crashed down on hers. Ryder never knew bliss until their last kiss at the hospital. All the things he felt before, all the relationships and one night stands combined, didn’t compare to the way Blake made him feel.
Blake pulled away first. For a long moment, they stared into each other’s eyes. Even when she didn’t look her best, she made his heart flutter.
“Go lay down, sweetie. I’ll make you a cup of tea.” He turned away and entered the kitchen. After grabbing the tea kettle he never used, he filled it with water and put it on to boil.
Maybe keeping her on the case wasn’t such a great idea. He leaned against the counter and waited for the water to heat. Why did Seth Cameron target Blake? He worked the case, too. Why didn’t they come after him? He snorted, knowing the answer. Seth was a little punk. He didn’t target Ryder because he knew Ryder would kick his ass. And he wouldn’t think twice about it.
When the whistle sounded, he pulled a mug from the cabinet and retrieved a tea bag from the pantry. He really didn’t know what to think about Blake. He liked her. That much he knew. But she was his partner. She pointed it out regularly, and he knew, it came first in her eyes. They agreed to work as a team to figure out who killed Sophie Stevens and see that she received justice.
He carried the tea to the bedroom, finding her curled up on her side in the bed. He figured she trusted him. She asked him to stay with her at the hospital and she wanted to stay tonight to avoid her family.. She hadn’t shared anything about her life, but he did know she was a good cop.
“Blake?”
She rolled to her back and blinked up at him. After seeing the mug, she sat up and reached for it. “Did you put something in it?”
Her eyes met his, a sense of teasing laced behind the beautiful blue irises. “Not this time. No guarantees for the future though.”
He bent forward and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be in the dining room working on the case if you need me.”
“I still think it’s the fiancé. Check to see if he and Seth are connected.”
He nodded. “I’ll look into it.”
“Ryder?” She sat the cup on the nightstand. “I had a boyfriend, one that liked to hit up on me. My family doesn’t know, nobody really knows. I like you, but I don’t know if I’m ready for anything like that. I haven’t really been in a relationship since I got away from him.”
Ryder tilted his head to the side, watching as she settled beneath his blankets. “How old were you?”
“Seventeen.” She closed her eyes. “He was my first boyfriend, my only boyfriend.” She curled against a spare pillow and opened her eyes. “I figured since you told me about your partner, you deserved to know something personal about me.”
Instead of responding, he nodded and left the room, closing the door behind him. No wonder Seth Cameron scared her to death. Ryder sat at the table and sorted through the files. There had to be something in there that flashed “killer”.
* * * *
After two hours of searching, Ryder pushed away from the table in frustration. He looked up police records on all of the potential suspects and only one came back with anything. The mistress.
Amanda Cummings had a record for shoplifting fourteen pieces of lingerie at Victoria’s Secret. It didn’t exactly scream murderer, or anything else for that matter, though he didn’t exactly understand why she had to steal when she came from a family worth millions. He grabbed a beer from the kitchen and popped the top. Five main suspects: the fiancé, the mistress, Seth Cameron, the waiter, and the valet. The first three he knew a fair amount of information about. The waiter, however, was linked to both the mistress and the victim. The valet was linked to the fiancé. The only people around the cars, supposedly, were the valets. So why couldn’t he link them in a substantial way?
“Did you find anything on the videos?”
Ryder leaned against the kitchen doorway. “I think a few are missing from the pile. I know the camera pointed directly where I went in the parking lot, yet when I watched the parking lot footage, nothing substantial was there. One video was even messed up, so it didn’t have a clear picture.”
“Intentionally?”
“It could go either way.” Ryder crossed the room to stand beside her as she looked over what they collected. “Do you feel better?”
She shrugged. “I still have a headache. Why don’t we try something? I think it’s the fiancé. You think it’s the mistress. If we focused on our suspected murderers, maybe we could find a link between them and the vic.”
“Nothing’s there.” He pulled out the seat beside her and plopped down. “Four of my main suspects were in the dining room at the potential time of the murder. The fifth, the valet, doing his job. He brought the car around to Sophie Stevens. The footage shows the fiancé and the vic arriving in two separate cars. The mistress shows up later in her own car. The staff is all recorded coming in. Since Seth Cameron’s arrest, we pulled company files proving they were where they should have been. I’ve watched every security video we collected and there is nothing suspicious on any of them. That’s why I say we’re missing something.”
“If the vic and the fiancé arrived in two separate cars, then how did the killer know which brake line to cut? They should have cut the brakes of Sophie’s car.” Blake met Ryder’s eyes. “Unless they weren’t after Sophie at all. What if the killer was after the fiancé the whole time, and Sophie just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time?”
Ryder leaned back, tipping his beer to his lips. “That could work in theory. But my idea of the mistress still stands as it is. She hated Sophie. Think about it. Your boyfriend is about to marry your enemy and more than likely going to call off the whole affair. I mean how would it look to the public if Sophie Stevens’ new husband stepped out on her with trash like Amanda? It wouldn’t go over too well, especially not with daddy. Robert would fire her, fire him, and the annulment would be in place. If Rick wanted Sophie gone, he would have waited until after the marriage when he had rights. Amanda, however, was in a place where she couldn’t wait.”
He thought about her demeanor when they went to their room. He knew she hid something from them. Amanda had the most to lose if Sophie went ahead and married Rick. So a quick out would be to kill her off.
“Okay, I’ll drop my theory for now. Let’s focus on her for tonight. Any priors?”
“Arrested for shoplifting fourteen pieces of lingerie from Victoria’s Secret.” Ryder pulled the sheet out of the pile and handed it to Blake.
“And to think, she only wore a Santa hat in front of us.”
Ryder lifted his gaze and chuckled at her comment. “Do you want me to fix you something to eat?”
“You cook?” She glanced up from the page with an arched eyebrow.
“One of my many talents. When you’re single for so long, you have to survive somehow.” He stood. “Since it’s late, I’ll fix something light. Do you want a sandwich?”
Blake shrugged. “Anything’s better than hospital food.” She flipped another page. “Why are you single?”
Ryder paused. He wasn’t expecting that question. “Uh, good question.”
She met his eyes. “Marriage not your thing?”
“Not really.” Ryder rubbed her shoulders. “Are you sure you’re not overdoing this? Maybe you should be in bed taking it easy instead of helping me work on this case.”
“I can’t sleep. I only rested earlier until I couldn’t lie in bed anymore.” She shifted to look at the original document from the crime scene. “Has the M.E. reported to us yet?”
“No, I’m hoping she has all the information we’re missing.”
When Blake didn’t say anything more, he left the dining room to make them some sandwiches. On top of everything else, Christmas approached fast. He hated the season. Not only for obvious reasons but personal ones as well.
“I forgot to tell you my mother is planning our wedding, and you’re expected to be at our Christmas dinner this
year.” Blake entered the kitchen and searched through the cabinets until she found a glass. “I think she’s even planning for a grandchild or two within the next few years.”
Ryder left his sandwiches to make some soup. “Wow. I get a wife, some in-laws, and children all within one year.” He leaned over to kiss her cheek before returning to the pot.
“I’m sorry about that. I think they sort of gave up hope on me ever finding a guy, and the first guy they see me with is the one.” Blake poured herself a glass of iced tea and turned to face him. “My sister even went so far to ask me if I was a lesbian.”
Ryder clicked the stove off. “Why didn’t you tell them about it?”
She sipped at her tea. “I wasn’t allowed to date him for one thing. My parents forbid it actually. I didn’t listen. He liked to show me his strength. It started out playful, but it ended up getting pretty rough. He had women on the side, and even though I tried getting out of it many times, he refused to let me go. I was his trophy, he said. He used to hit me, telling me it was for my own good. That I shouldn’t have made him mad at me and I needed to learn a lesson.”
When she met Ryder’s eyes, tears filled hers. “I didn’t mean to dump all of this on you. A simple answer probably would have been better.”
She batted away some tears, and Ryder reached out to her. “You didn’t dump anything on me. You can tell me anything you want.”
“I like the way you kiss me.” She smiled at him through her tears.
Ryder brushed her hair away from her face. “That’s good, babe, ’cause I like kissing you.”
He leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. She was so fragile in his arms, soft and warm beneath his touch. He assumed after what she’d been through, she needed to be the one to take the lead. If she wanted more than a few simple kisses, she’d tell him. Otherwise, he’d keep his hands to himself.
Ryder pulled his mouth from hers. “Are you really a virgin, Blake?”
She pushed away from him. “I think maybe I will try to get some sleep. What time do you have to be at work in the morning?”
“Eight.” Ryder spooned the soup into some bowls. “Here. Eat this before you go to bed.”
She took the bowl and a sandwich. Ryder fished two spoons out of the drawer and handed her one. “The answer’s no, okay. I wish I was, but I’m not, so there you go.”
He stuffed his mouth with food before offending her again by asking another question he wanted to know the answer to. He watched Blake take a few bites. He wished he knew how to help her.
“You can stop looking at me like I’m the Elephant Man or something.” Blake sat her bowl to the side and picked up her glass.
“I didn’t mean to offend you, Blake.” Ryder sat his bowl aside as well, having lost his appetite. “I think you know, but in case you don’t, I’ll tell you flat out. I’ll never hurt you, Blake—especially not like he did.”
“Look, I don’t want your pity. I’m not broken. I don’t need a man to make me happy. And I sure as hell don’t need my partner asking me about my sex life.” She sat the glass down and stormed out of the room.
Ryder didn’t bother following.
* * * *
Blake woke in the night with a start, sweat covering her entire body. Her heart raced as she sat up, the sheets sticking to her clammy skin. She dreamt of him. It’d been so long since she even thought of him, and now, she dreamt of him and all she endured while with him.
Her shaky hand came to her mouth. It’d been nearly seven years. Seven years since he first hit her. Seven years since he touched her. She jerked the sheets to the side and shivered when the cooler air hit her bare legs. She felt sick.
Ryder tapped on her door. “Blake?”
She licked her lips. “Yes?”
“The heat is out due to the hellacious snow storm outside. I built a fire in the living room.” Ryder huffed a breath on the other side of the closed door. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
Blake opened the door wearing her oversized shirt. “I had a nightmare.” Ryder met her eyes. “Look, Ryder, It’s not your responsibility to take care of me. I know I sort of dragged you into this, but I don’t need you to feel sorry for me.”
Ryder nodded. “If you want to make a bed in front of the fire, I have a sleeping bag I can get for you. It’s pretty cold outside so staying in here with the door closed might not be a great idea. I nearly froze when I went to the shed to get fire wood.”
Blake felt tears gather in her eyes. She didn’t know what she wanted. Her emotions were a mess. She should be stronger than this. She knew how to be strong, to defeat the impossible if she set her mind to it. Now she stood before a man, feeling herself falling. She wanted to run away, faster than the speed of light.
“Look at me, Blake. I’m not giving you pity. You’ve kept this shit bottled inside you for way too long, and I want to help you get through it. Harboring it inside and keeping people locked out is not the way to deal with it.”
“I’ll remember that when I talk to a shrink.” She pushed past him and settled on the couch, wrapping an afghan around her.
Ryder crossed the room and knelt in front of the fire to put another log on. Blake knew he meant well. She wanted to believe he cared. She watched his back, the glow of the fire creating a shadow around him.
“I don’t want to go there again, Ryder. I shouldn’t have said what I did in the first place, but I felt you deserved to know something about me after I’d asked stuff about you.”
“Did he rape you?”
Blake bit her quivering lip. “It doesn’t matter.”
“The hell it doesn’t.” He stood up and turned to face her. “I want to hold you right now, and you know what, I’d bet anything you won’t let me. That scum painted the relationship picture for you even though you consciously know what he did, the way he acted, isn’t the way it’s supposed to be. Men don’t go around using their girlfriends as punching bags. Men don’t force themselves on a woman.”
She leaned forward and dropped her face into her hands. “What do you want me to do? Tell you the gory details? Yeah, he raped me. So what? I left home to enter the academy at eighteen. I literally sneaked out of my parents’ house with a busted lip, two bruised ribs, and a gash in my leg from a fence I climbed just to get away from him. My parents had no idea where I was, who I was with, until my superior made me sit down in his office and call them six months later. I didn’t tell anyone anything, but he could put two and two together.”
When she raised her head, she saw a look of sadness in Ryder’s eyes, something she’d never seen from him or anyone for that matter. She wrapped the blanket around her arms, wishing he wouldn’t scrutinize her. She didn’t need his judgment. Finally, he looked away. He didn’t bother saying anything as he left the room. She heard him rummaging around in the closet at the end of the hall before he came back with a sleeping bag in his hands. He rolled it out and left again, returning next with spare blankets and pillows.
“Come closer to the fire. You’re shivering.” He made the pallet and waited for her to move.
Blake stood with the afghan wrapped around her and crossed the room to where he waited. She hated feeling hurt. She liked Ryder and wanted to see where their relationship could go. But something within her couldn’t make that first move.
She sat on the makeshift bed and shoved her legs beneath the top blanket. “Where are you going?” she asked when he turned away.
“I’m going to make me a pallet in the corner.”
“Get over here, Ryder.” She took a deep breath, realizing what popped out of her mouth. “I don’t know what I want, but I do know it isn’t to be alone.”
Ryder stood at her feet, hands on his hips. “You want me to sleep beside you?”
“Yeah. Just don’t ask me any more questions or bring up my past.”
He nodded, dropping to his knees to crawl toward her. After situating himself behind her, she reached for his arm underneath the blanket an
d pulled it over her. She’d never spooned with a guy in her life, and didn’t really know if she did it right but he responded, turning toward her.
“Do you want a relationship with me?” she asked, staring into the fire. Heat swarmed around them, and it wasn’t entirely because of the fire.
“Aren’t we supposed to be getting married? I’d kinda like to do the whole dating thing beforehand.” His fingers threaded through hers.
“You know what I mean,” she whispered.
“I didn’t know if I could do the committed thing. It hasn’t been my specialty in the past, but you’re different. In good ways.”
“How? I’ve avoided relationships my entire adult life. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what the norm is.” Her fingers ran the length of his forearm.
“You’re smart, Blake. You use your brain when most others use their body or their looks to get what they want. You baffle the guys at the station. We used to talk about you, not in a dirty way, but in amazement. You’re accomplished and very good at your job. You’re very pretty. I love the color of your eyes right before I lean in to kiss you. It’s slightly a deeper shade than normal.” He rested his chin on her arm. “I’m glad you’re my partner. But most of all I’m glad you trust me enough to let me get this close to you after all you’ve been through.”
She pulled his arm tighter around her body. “Please don’t break my trust in you.”
“I won’t.” He pressed a kiss to her temple.
Lying in his arms, she was unarmed and totally vulnerable. She felt safe though, which was something she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt before. Not completely anyway.
“Try to get some sleep, baby.” He laid his cheek against her ear. “Do you need me to take you home in the morning when I leave or do you want to stay here?”
“I need to go to the station. I’m taking off a few days and need to pick up my check.”
“If you’re taking off, you need to rest.”