by Lexi Blake
Phoebe forced herself to push away. Between the orgasm and the drugs that had run through her system, she felt so weak. It didn’t stop her though. She got to her feet, her knees shaking a little, and looked at him. His hair had gotten longer in the last few months. When he’d come to McKay-Taggart, he’d worn it in a purely military style, but now it curled over the tops of his ears and brushed over his brows. Blond and blue-eyed angel.
Who had just practically fucked her for information.
“Why?” Tears threatened. It had been a beautiful moment and he’d ruined it. Their last moment. The only one she could carry with her and he’d ground it into the dirt.
All of her life there had only been Jamie. She’d suffered through pawings when she was in foster care, but she’d managed to avoid what happened to a lot of girls in the system. She’d learned to defend herself. She’d only ever been intimate with two men, and one of them was dead and the other had just wanted information.
Jesse’s eyes were colder than she’d ever seen them as he stared at her. He made no move to hide his erection. “I’m doing what you did. I’m working a relationship to make an operation go more smoothly. Wasn’t that more pleasant than being deprived of food and water and human contact until you’re willing to talk?”
“I didn’t do this to you.” Anger invaded her system. The reasonable, rational side understood that she was at least partially angry with herself for being such a complete idiot. She’d ruined everything. She’d cheated on Jamie and it had felt so good.
Damn him, but two minutes on a desk with Jesse Murdoch had been better than all the sex she’d ever had with her husband. Her sweet, strong, brave husband. She should have been happy with what they had.
Stupid. She was so fucking stupid. She’d been Jamie’s wife and now her body was a convenient tool for Jesse to play like a Master.
Jesse stared at her while he sucked his fingers into his mouth again.
And that infuriated her. She pointed a finger his way. “You don’t get to do that.”
His eyes were hot on her. “Yeah, I do. This right here, this is mine. I got you hot so this is mine and I’ll do what I want with it.”
“No, it’s mine.” She couldn’t stand the way he was staring at her, sucking his fingers into his mouth. It had been hot before when she thought he’d meant it, but now she knew it was all an act and his fingers were nothing but ten little whores that went to do his bidding. Damn it. He didn’t deserve to taste her. “You give it back.”
It had been a long time since she’d felt this anger rising. She’d learned to channel it, learned to take that violent street-rat core of her being and suppress it. It was showing up again. Humiliation wasn’t something she handled well.
Years had passed and she’d shoved down everything. She’d shoved down every time she’d had to play mousy and take Taggart’s eye rolling. She’d buried her rage deep when they’d all laughed about how weak she was. She knew they weren’t really being mean about it, but it didn’t matter. She’d felt weak for years, and now she wanted every single one of them to know how strong she was—especially the man in front of her.
He stopped, his eyebrows rising. “Baby, I’m not sure what you want me to give back.” A sexy smirk hit his face. “But I can get you to make more. It’s obvious you’re not ready to talk yet. Hop on the desk and I’ll get my mouth on you. Then we’ll see if you’re ready to talk. You should know I can do this all day.”
“I didn’t do this to you.” She had to stay calm. She couldn’t lose her shit. Not now. Psycho Phoebe, as Jamie and Ten had called her, was gone and she was never coming back. Reason. That was what Franklin Grant had taught her to use. “I didn’t treat you like this.”
His hands came down and his shoulders squared as though he was ready for battle. “You damn straight did. You played me. You played me hard and well. You had me panting after you and then you pointed a bullet straight at my fucking heart. Do you see the irony, Phoebe? I was falling for you and you were here to kill me.”
“I was here to watch you. I was here to figure out if you had turned.” The one good thing that could come of this was she got to ask a couple of questions. “When you were discovered, you were hundreds of miles away from where they buried the bodies of your team. It took an Agency team another year to find the burial site. Why wouldn’t you tell them where the bodies were buried?”
He flushed slightly and his hands clenched. “I didn’t know. They didn’t give me a map. They drugged me and shoved me on the back of a donkey or some shit and sent me on my way to the next torture hole. Is that what you wanted to know? Really, you should have just fucking asked or you could have read the Agency’s reports, but you already did that, didn’t you?”
She couldn’t give him any more than he already knew. Her stomach was churning where just moments before she’d been happy and relaxed. God, she wished he’d never opened his mouth. “You were on the tapes.”
His expression didn’t change at all, but she could see the way his skin flushed. God, she hated doing this to him, but he was making it impossible for her to go back to being Phoebe Graham. Jesse would never have treated her the way he just had if she’d been able to stay Phoebe Graham. “You mean the ones where my unit…my friends were executed? Are you talking about those tapes? Yes. I was on the tapes and I looked perfectly fine with the experience, didn’t I? I should be damn glad those tapes never made it out of the Agency’s vault or I would have been on every news station as the grinning idiot who watched his friends die and he wasn’t even tied up. Did you watch those tapes, Phoebe?”
Did she watch the tape where her husband had been executed? “No.”
Ten wouldn’t allow it. He’d threatened anyone who might have shown it to her with a painful death, and Ten’s people had believed him. She’d heard about the tapes. In every single one, Jesse Murdoch had been present with a smile on his peaceful face. At the time she’d been certain he’d done it to save himself, but she knew him now. She believed what he’d told the agent who had debriefed him in Germany. “How much heroin did they give you?”
It was the only explanation. Despite their “pure” Islamic beliefs, most jihadist groups made their money off heroin. Everyone with a brain knew terrorists had very little to do with real Muslims.
“Enough that I had to do some hard rehab afterward. Tell me who you’re working for, Phoebe. I don’t want to have to escalate this. I was tortured by the best. I don’t want to do that to you.”
The very fact that he would threaten it pissed her off. Especially when she knew damn well he wouldn’t do it. Months and months with the man had proven that he had looked into that abyss and turned from it. Jesse Murdoch would protect and defend, but he would never torture.
Well, except in the sweetest way.
“Really?” She took a step forward. “You’re going to torture me the way they tortured you? You’re going to dope me up and kill a few of my friends and try to make me believe I did it?”
It was what they’d done to him. She’d read his file. It read like a damn horror novel, though at first she’d thought he was just really good at crafting fiction.
Jesse stopped, his arms falling to his sides and his eyes narrowing. “No. I won’t do it and you know it. I don’t need to. I know an Agency operative when I see one. Well, when I stop thinking with my dick, I do. You bastards. You’re why we were taken. Do you think I don’t know that?”
“What?”
He huffed a little, like he didn’t believe her question. “Sure, you didn’t know.”
“What are you talking about?”
His lips curled just slightly. It was the cruelest look she’d ever seen on his sweet face, and her heart ached because she’d been the one to put it there. “They targeted my unit, Phoebe. It wasn’t random. They were looking for an operative code named ‘the spider.’ The Agency was embedding operatives into troops.”
Her stomach dropped. “No. That’s not true.”
No on
e could have known. No one would have told. Jamie had been caught in a random act of terrorism. It hadn’t been their fault. No way.
Ten would have told her.
She’d been the one to come up with the concept. Ten had argued against it. Violently. He’d told her it would put the soldiers in the unit in danger, but Jamie had liked the idea. He’d been the one to talk Ten in to trying it, and it had failed spectacularly.
Was she the real reason Jesse Murdoch had spent all those months being tortured, his soul being ripped apart?
“Phoebe? Baby, are you going to pass out?” He immediately dropped the tough guy act and his arms went around her just as her knees went weak.
She hadn’t eaten all day and the drugs were making her loopy. No. She was fooling herself. The guilt was making her sick. Had she done this to both Jamie and Jesse? She felt herself being hauled into strong arms.
“Do I need to get a doctor?” He pulled her close and it felt so good to be in his arms.
She wanted to pretend the last several hours hadn’t happened. She let her head drift to his shoulder just as she heard the sound of a helicopter. Distant at first, and then she watched in utter horror as it dropped into view, blocking the sight of the Dallas skyline.
Her eyes widened as she saw a tall, lean man standing on the foot rail, a SIG in his free hand and a grim look on his face. He nodded and the chopper rose again, likely to set down on the roof.
“What the hell?” Jesse turned. He had caught a glimpse of the chopper before it rose. “Was that a traffic copter? I don’ t think they’re supposed to get that close to the building.”
She shook her head. “No. You need to tell Taggart to let me go and lock the doors. If he lets me go, I think everyone will be safe.”
She clung to Jesse for one second longer because her time was up.
Ten was here.
CHAPTER FIVE
Jesse kicked his office door open. He didn’t even think about letting Phoebe down. He couldn’t risk it. He believed her that something was about to happen and it was going to be bad, but the last thing he was going to do was put her out in the hallway and lock the doors behind her. He wasn’t going to leave her out there like some sacrifice.
He wasn’t ready to give her up. He was supposed to have more time. He knew it couldn’t work, but he’d planned to get inside her and have that one memory. She would have let him do it, too. She’d been so hot when she’d spread her legs and let him bring her to orgasm. He’d felt her tighten around him and imagined it was his dick instead of his fingers, getting squeezed from all sides while she milked him dry.
Yeah, it had taken everything he had not to come then and there.
And then he’d been an asshole because he couldn’t say what he’d wanted to say. So he’d struck out and he’d hated the hurt look that had come over her face.
“Jesse, the party’s starting.” Li walked out of his office, holding Avery’s hand. Her hair was mussed and she had a glow about her that told Jesse something had been going on in that office. He guessed a couple with a kid took whatever time they could get. “Grace just called and said all the rug rats are happy and fed and she wants pictures before we start.”
Avery took a deep breath. “And I can smell the appetizers Sean cooked. I think he did that tenderloin bruschetta thing. I swear I gain a pound just walking into the man’s house. I’m so glad you took Phoebe out of bondage for the party. You can do the questioning thing after Eve opens the presents. Oh, and I happen to know Li here plans on spiking the punch. A little whiskey might make the whole interrogation easier.”
“Get the kids and take cover.” He didn’t have time for explanations.
Li went from relaxed to predatory in an instant. “Avery, get the women and the kids into the back room. Now, love.”
She took off running.
“How long do we have?” Li asked.
“Three minutes at most. They’re coming from the roof.” Jesse hurried after Li.
“What the fuck is going on? Erin!” Li jogged down the hall.
Erin’s office door opened. “What?” She frowned Phoebe’s way. “What the hell is she still doing here? Don’t we have a shallow grave for her or something? I thought she’d be fertilizing Big Tag’s trees by now.”
Phoebe ignored her. “You have to let me go. He won’t play around.”
“Who?” His arms tightened around her. “Tell me who the hell is about to burst in those doors, Phoebe.”
“You have to let me go.”
But he didn’t. He had zero intention of allowing her to go anywhere until he had his answers. He sure as fuck wasn’t giving her up to some Agency search and rescue that didn’t even have the damn authority to work on US soil. No way, no how.
“Erin, can you lock her in?” Erin’s office was the closest. He would prefer to tie her up, but it looked like their time was about to be up and he needed to be able to fight.
“Of course. Throw the princess in there. I promise she’ll have nowhere to go,” Erin said, opening the door wide.
“Don’t do this, Jesse. Please let me talk to him.” Phoebe was starting to struggle. He hated leaving her. It was obvious she needed rest and food, and the desire to provide for her was riding him hard, but he couldn’t do a damn thing if they took her away.
He set her down on the couch and walked away, locking the door behind him.
“What the fuck is going on?” Li asked.
“I think the Agency is about to attack the office,” Jesse explained.
Li’s jaw dropped. “The bloody Agency? Are you telling me that a Special Forces unit working for the CIA is about to walk into the office?”
“I’m afraid they aren’t going to walk in. I think they’re going to try to take Phoebe without giving themselves away, and I won’t let it happen.” He pulled his SIG from his holster.
Erin shook her head. “Dude, we can’t attack an American military unit.”
“I’m not attacking. I’m defending.” They didn’t get to walk into his home and take his shit. And yes, Phoebe would likely protest that she wasn’t his shit, but she didn’t get a say-so. Until he was satisfied and done with her, she belonged to him. Then the fucking Agency could do what they wanted to him.
“Get the doors locked,” he yelled. It might buy them some time.
Li started to move for the office doors just as someone kicked them open.
Damn it. They hadn’t even had time to lock the doors.
He caught a glimpse of a group of black clad men and then watched as a familiar looking cylinder rolled into the office.
“Bloody fucking hell!” Li yelled as the flashbang rolled in. He pivoted on his heels and leapt toward Erin.
Jesse turned as fast as he could as the world blasted with smoke. He protected his eyes before the flare flashed, but his ears rang.
In the distance, he could sense men moving in. He managed to stay on his feet, managed to keep moving. It wasn’t the first time he’d been hit with one of those fuckers.
He turned briefly and there was already fighting. Li was on the ground, having taken the full brunt of the flashbang by covering Erin’s body with his own. She was already on her feet, kicking out against a man who moved into the room.
He caught sight of eight men moving in, their guns at the ready. They moved in an easy formation that spoke of years and years of training. They were utterly silent, their faces covered by dark masks, but Jesse had learned to see through such trivial things. He remembered men by the way they walked, the way their shoulders set, and how their eyes moved.
He’d seen these men before. He’d watched them in battle. They might want to stay anonymous, but he wasn’t about to let that happen.
“Tennessee Smith!” He couldn’t really hear himself, but he was trying to shout.
One of the men stopped, but Jesse watched as his jaw squared. “Find her. We don’t leave without her. Get it done.”
Li tried to get up, but he had a gun pointed at his hea
d.
Erin kicked out at her opponent and for a few seconds it didn’t look like the man knew what to do. She caught him squarely in the midsection and Jesse knew his ears were clearing because he heard an audible huff as the operative briefly lost the ability to breathe. He had to give the kid credit as he came right back up. He caught Erin and hauled her back against his body. She immediately brought her elbow up and back, easily getting away.
She didn’t get more than a few steps before the man tackled her. He tossed his full weight on top and wrestled her down to the floor.
Just like that Jesse knew Ten had given orders not to kill. There was no other explanation. No one was going to fire a shot. The guns were there to intimidate, but no one had told Big Tag that. Ten likely thought he could do a quick, get in, get out mission since it was the middle of the day. He possibly believed shock and awe would work, but what the stupid fucker hadn’t counted on was Charlotte Taggart throwing a baby shower and the office being full of women and kids.
Tag was going to kill someone. Maybe a whole lot of someones.
A big guy with an M4A1 carbine pointed it his way. “Get on your knees.”
No fucking way. He felt the pressure build. It always seemed to start low in his gut, though he knew it was all in his brain. Somehow the fear manifested itself in a physical way and it didn’t matter that it was a lovely day in Dallas and the air conditioning was set low because Charlotte always seemed warm these days. None of that mattered because his vision blurred and he could feel the heat of the Iraqi sun on his face, feel his skin. It was too tight. He’d woken up after the IED had blasted his Humvee and he’d been shoved out of the vehicle, reaching back for the new guy.
“I said get on your knees. In a minute or two this is all going to be over and you can go about your day,” the man said.
Jesse was caught between worlds. He was almost certain the man in front of him was Case Taggart, but about half the words that came from his mouth were said in Farsi.
He took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to go there. He needed to stay in the here and now. Dallas. He was in Dallas and Ten had come to reclaim his lover.