“By Jove! you have courage, my festive prodigal. VRAIMENT!”
Joe cocked his head to one side with his old look of the friendly puppy. “You always did like to talk that noveletty way, ‘Gene, didn’t you?” he said, impersonally.
Eugene’s color rose. “Have you saved up anything to starve on?” he asked, crisply.
“Oh, I’m not so badly off. I’ve had a salary in an office for a year, and I had one pretty good day at the races—”
“You’d better go back and have another,” said his step-brother. “You don’t seem to comprehend your standing in Canaan.”
“I’m beginning to.” Joe turned to the door. “It’s funny, too — in a way. Well — I won’t keep you any longer. I just stopped in to say good-day—” He paused, faltering.
“All right, all right,” Eugene said, briskly. “And, by-the-way, I haven’t mentioned that I saw you in New York.”
“Oh, I didn’t suppose that you would.”
“And you needn’t say anything about it, I fancy.”
“I don’t think,” said Joe,— “I don’t think that you need be afraid I’ll do that. Good-bye.”
“Be sure to shut the door, please; it’s rather noisy with it open. Good-bye.” Eugene waved his hand and sank back upon the divan.
Joe went across the street to the “National House.” The sages fell as silent as if he had been Martin Pike. They had just had the pleasure of hearing a telephone monologue by Mr. Brown, the clerk, to which they listened intently: “Yes. This is Brown. Oh — oh, it’s Judge Pike? Yes indeed, Judge, yes indeed, I hear you — ha, ha! Of course, I understand. Yes, Judge, I heard he was in town. No, he hasn’t been here. Not yet, that is, Judge. Yes, I hear. No, I won’t, of course. Certainly not. I will, I will. I hear perfectly, I understand. Yes, sir. Good-bye, Judge.”
Joe had begun to write his name in the register. “My trunk is still at the station,” he said. “I’ll give you my check to send down for it.”
“Excuse me,” said the clerk. “We have no rooms.”
“What!” cried Joe, innocently. “Why, I never knew more than eight people to stay here at the same time in my life.”
“We have no rooms,” repeated the clerk, curtly.
“Is there a convention here?”
“We have no rooms, I say!”
Joe looked up into the condensed eyes of Mr. Brown. “Oh,” he said, “I see.”
Deathly silence followed him to the door, but, as it closed behind him, he heard the outbreak of the sages like a tidal wave striking a dump-heap of tin cans.
Two hours later he descended from an evil ark of a cab at the corral attached to Beaver Beach, and followed the path through the marsh to the crumbling pier. A red-bearded man was seated on a plank by the water edge, fishing.
“Mike,” said Joe, “have you got room for me? Can you take me in for a few days until I find a place in town where they’ll let me stay?”
The red-bearded man rose slowly, pushed back his hat, and stared hard at the wanderer; then he uttered a howl of joy and seized the other’s hands in his and shook them wildly.
“Glory be on high!” he shouted. “It’s Joe Louden come back! We never knew how we missed ye till ye’d gone! Place fer ye! Can I find it? There ain’t a imp o’ perdition in town, includin’ myself, that wouldn’t kill me if I couldn’t! Ye’ll have old Maggie’s room, my own aunt’s; ye remember how she used to dance! Ha, ha! She’s been burnin’ below these four years! And we’ll have the celebration of yer return this night. There’ll be many of ’em will come when they hear ye’re back in Canaan! Praise God, we’ll all hope ye’re goin’ to stay a while!”
IX. “OUTER DARKNESS”
IF ANY ECHO of doubt concerning his undesirable conspicuousness sounded faintly in Joe’s mind, it was silenced eftsoons. Canaan had not forgotten him — far from it! — so far that it began pointing him out to strangers on the street the very day of his return. His course of action, likewise that of his friends, permitted him little obscurity, and when the rumors of his finally obtaining lodging at Beaver Beach, and of the celebration of his installation there, were presently confirmed, he stood in the lime-light indeed, as a Mephistopheles upsprung through the trap-door.
The welcoming festivities had not been so discreetly conducted as to accord with the general policy of Beaver Beach. An unfortunate incident caused the arrest of one of the celebrators and the ambulancing to the hospital of another on the homeward way, the ensuing proceedings in court bringing to the whole affair a publicity devoutly unsought for. Mr. Happy Fear (such was the habitual name of the imprisoned gentleman) had to bear a great amount of harsh criticism for injuring a companion within the city limits after daylight, and for failing to observe that three policemen were not too distant from the scene of operations to engage therein.
“Happy, if ye had it in mind to harm him,” said the red-bearded man to Mr. Fear, upon the latter’s return to society, “why didn’t ye do it out here at the Beach?”
“Because,” returned the indiscreet, “he didn’t say what he was goin’ to say till we got in town.”
Extraordinary probing on the part of the prosecutor had developed at the trial that the obnoxious speech had referred to the guest of the evening. The assaulted party, one “Nashville” Cory, was not of Canaan, but a bit of drift-wood haply touching shore for the moment at Beaver Beach; and — strange is this world — he had been introduced to the coterie of Mike’s Place by Happy Fear himself, who had enjoyed a brief acquaintance with him on a day when both had chanced to travel incognito by the same freight. Naturally, Happy had felt responsible for the proper behavior of his protege — was, in fact, bound to enforce it; additionally, Happy had once been saved from a term of imprisonment (at a time when it would have been more than ordinarily inconvenient) by help and advice from Joe, and he was not one to forget. Therefore he was grieved to observe that his own guest seemed to be somewhat jealous of the hero of the occasion and disposed to look coldly upon him. The stranger, however, contented himself with innuendo (mere expressions of the face and other manner of things for which one could not squarely lay hands upon him) until such time as he and his sponsor had come to Main Street in the clear dawn on their way to Happy’s apartment — a variable abode. It may be that the stranger perceived what Happy did not; the three bluecoats in the perspective; at all events, he now put into words of simple strength the unfavorable conception he had formed of Joe. The result was mediaevally immediate, and the period of Mr. Cory’s convalescence in the hospital was almost half that of his sponsor’s detention in the county jail.
It needed nothing to finish Joe with the good people of Canaan; had it needed anything, the trial of Happy Fear would have overspilled the necessity. An item of the testimony was that Joseph Louden had helped to carry one of the ladies present — a Miss Le Roy, who had fainted — to the open air, and had jostled the stranger in passing. After this, the oldest woman in Canaan would not have dared to speak to Joe on the street (even if she wanted to), unless she happened to be very poor or very wicked. The Tocsin printed an adequate account (for there was “a large public interest”), recording in conclusion that Mr. Louden paid the culprit’s fine which was the largest in the power of the presiding judge in his mercy to bestow. Editorially, the Tocsin leaned to the facetious: “Mr. Louden has but recently ‘returned to our midst.’ We fervently hope that the distinguished Happy Fear will appreciate his patron’s superb generosity. We say ‘his patron,’ but perhaps we err in this. Were it not better to figure Mr. Louden as the lady in distress, Mr. Fear as the champion in the lists? In the present case, however, contrary to the rules of romance, the champion falls in duress and passes to the dungeon. We merely suggest, en passant, that some of our best citizens might deem it a wonderful and beauteous thing if, in addition to paying the fine, Mr. Louden could serve for the loyal Happy his six months in the Bastile!”
“En passant,” if nothing else, would have revealed to Joe, in this imitation
of a better trick, the hand of Eugene. And, little doubt, he would have agreed with Squire Buckalew in the Squire’s answer to the easily expected comment of Mr. Arp.
“Sometimes,” said Eskew, “I think that ‘Gene Bantry is jest a leetle bit spiderier than he is lazy. That’s the first thing he’s written in the Tocsin this month — one of the boys over there told me. He wrote it out of spite against Joe; but he’d ought to of done better. If his spite hadn’t run away with what mind he’s got, he’d of said that both Joe Louden and that tramp Fear ought to of had ten years!”
“‘Gene Bantry didn’t write that out of spite,” answered Buckalew. “He only thought he saw a chance to be kind of funny and please Judge Pike. The Judge has always thought Joe was a no-account—”
“Ain’t he right?” cried Mr. Arp.
“I don’t say he ain’t.” Squire Buckalew cast a glance at Mr. Brown, the clerk, and, perceiving that he was listening, added, “The Judge always IS right!”
“Yes, sir!” said Colonel Flitcroft.
“I can’t stand up for Joe Louden to any extent, but I don’t think he done wrong,” Buckalew went on, recovering, “when he paid this man Fear’s fine.”
“You don’t!” exclaimed Mr. Arp. “Why, haven’t you got gumption enough to see—”
“Look here, Eskew,” interposed his antagonist. “How many friends have you got that hate to hear folks talk bad about you?”
“Not a one!” For once Eskew’s guard was down, and his consistency led him to destruction. “Not a one! It ain’t in human nature. They’re bound to enjoy it!”
“Got any friends that would FIGHT for you?”
Eskew walked straight into this hideous trap. “No! There ain’t a dozen men ever LIVED that had! Caesar was a popular man, but he didn’t have a soul to help him when the crowd lit on him, and I’ll bet old Mark Antony was mighty glad they got him out in the yard before it happened, — HE wouldn’t have lifted a finger without a gang behind him! Why, all Peter himself could do was to cut off an ear that wasn’t no use to anybody. What are you tryin’ to get AT?”
The Squire had him; and paused, and stroked his chin, to make the ruin complete. “Then I reckon you’ll have to admit,” he murmured, “that, while I ain’t defendin’ Joe Louden’s character, it was kind of proper for him to stand by a feller that wouldn’t hear nothin’ against him, and fought for him as soon as he DID hear it!”
Eskew Arp rose from his chair and left the hotel. It was the only morning in all the days of the conclave when he was the first to leave.
Squire Buckalew looked after the retreating figure, total triumph shining brazenly from his spectacles. “I expect,” he explained, modestly, to the others,— “I expect I don’t think any more of Joe Louden than he does, and I’ll be glad when Canaan sees the last of him for good; but sometimes the temptation to argue with Eskew does lead me on to kind of git the better of him.”
When Happy Fear had suffered — with a give-and-take simplicity of patience — his allotment of months in durance, and was released and sent into the streets and sunshine once more, he knew that his first duty lay in the direction of a general apology to Joe. But the young man was no longer at Beaver Beach; the red-bearded proprietor dwelt alone there, and, receiving Happy with scorn and pity, directed him to retrace his footsteps to the town.
“Ye must have been in the black hole of incarceration indeed, if ye haven’t heard that Mr. Louden has his law-office on the Square, and his livin’-room behind the office. It’s in that little brick buildin’ straight acrost from the sheriff’s door o’ the jail — ye’ve been neighbors this long time! A hard time the boy had, persuadin’ any one to rent to him, but by payin’ double the price he got a place at last. He’s a practisin’ lawyer now, praise the Lord! And all the boys and girls of our acquaintance go to him with their troubles. Ye’ll see him with a murder case to try before long, as sure as ye’re not worth yer salt! But I expect ye can still call him by his name of Joe, all the same!”
It was a bleak and meagre little office into which Mr. Fear ushered himself to offer his amends. The cracked plaster of the walls was bare (save for dust); there were no shelves; the fat brown volumes, most of them fairly new, were piled in regular columns upon a cheap pine table; there was but one window, small-paned and shadeless; an inner door of this sad chamber stood half ajar, permitting the visitor unreserved acquaintance with the domestic economy of the tenant; for it disclosed a second room, smaller than the office, and dependent upon the window of the latter for air and light. Behind a canvas camp-cot, dimly visible in the obscurity of the inner apartment, stood a small gas-stove, surmounted by a stew-pan, from which projected the handle of a big tin spoon, so that it needed no ghost from the dead to whisper that Joseph Louden, attorney-at-law, did his own cooking. Indeed, he looked it!
Upon the threshold of the second room reposed a small, worn, light-brown scrub-brush of a dog, so cosmopolitan in ancestry that his species was almost as undeterminable as the cast-iron dogs of the Pike Mansion. He greeted Mr. Fear hospitably, having been so lately an offcast of the streets himself that his adoption had taught him to lose only his old tremors, not his hopefulness. At the same time Joe rose quickly from the deal table, where he had been working with one hand in his hair, the other splattering ink from a bad pen.
“Good for you, Happy!” he cried, cheerfully. “I hoped you’d come to see me to-day. I’ve been thinking about a job for you.”
“What kind of a job?” asked the visitor, as they shook hands. “I need one bad enough, but you know there ain’t nobody in Canaan would gimme one, Joe.”
Joe pushed him into one of the two chairs which completed the furniture of his office. “Yes, there is. I’ve got an idea—”
“First,” broke in Mr. Fear, fingering his shapeless hat and fixing his eyes upon it with embarrassment,— “first lemme say what I come here to say. I — well—” His embarrassment increased and he paused, rubbing the hat between his hands.
“About this job,” Joe began. “We can fix it so—”
“No,” said Happy. “You lemme go on. I didn’t mean fer to cause you no trouble when I lit on that loud-mouth, ‘Nashville’; I never thought they’d git me, or you’d be dragged in. But I jest couldn’t stand him no longer. He had me all wore out — all evening long a-hintin’ and sniffin’ and wearin’ that kind of a high-smile ‘cause they made so much fuss over you. And then when we got clear in town he come out with it! Said you was too quiet to suit HIM — said he couldn’t see nothin’ TO you! ‘Well,’ I says to myself, ‘jest let him go on, jest one more,’ I says, ‘then he gits it.’ And he did. Said you tromped on his foot on purpose, said he knowed it, — when the Lord-a’mightiest fool on earth knows you never tromped on no one! Said you was one of the po’rest young sports he ever see around a place like the Beach. You see, he thought you was jest one of them fool ‘Bloods’ that come around raisin’ a rumpus, and didn’t know you was our friend and belonged out there, the same as me or Mike hisself. ‘Go on,’ I says to myself, ‘jest one more!’ ‘HE better go home to his mamma,’ he says; ‘he’ll git in trouble if he don’t. Somebody ‘ll soak him if he hangs around in MY company. I don’t like his WAYS.’ Then I HAD to do it. There jest wasn’t nothin’ LEFT — but I wouldn’t of done you no harm by it—”
“You didn’t do me any harm, Happy.”
“I mean your repitation.”
“I didn’t have one — so nothing in the world could harm it. About your getting some work, now—”
“I’ll listen,” said Happy, rather suspiciously.
“You see,” Joe went on, growing red, “I need a sort of janitor here—”
“What fer?” Mr. Fear interrupted, with some shortness.
“To look after the place.”
“You mean these two rooms?”
“There’s a stairway, too,” Joe put forth, quickly. “It wouldn’t be any sinecure, Happy. You’d earn your money; don’t be afraid of that!”
Mr. Fear straightened up, his burden of embarrassment gone from him, transferred to the other’s shoulders.
“There always was a yellow streak in you, Joe,” he said, firmly. “You’re no good as a liar except when you’re jokin’. A lot you need a janitor! You had no business to pay my fine; you’d ort of let me worked it out. Do you think my eyes ain’t good enough to see how much you needed the money, most of all right now when you’re tryin’ to git started? If I ever take a cent from you, I hope the hand I hold out fer it ‘ll rot off.”
“Now don’t say that, Happy.”
“I don’t want a job, nohow!” said Mr. Fear, going to the door; “I don’t want to work. There’s plenty ways fer me to git along without that. But I’ve said what I come here to say, and I’ll say one thing more. Don’t you worry about gittin’ law practice. Mike says you’re goin’ to git all you want — and if there ain’t no other way, why, a few of us ‘ll go out and MAKE some fer ye!”
These prophecies and promises, over which Joe chuckled at first, with his head cocked to one side, grew very soon, to his amazement, to wear a supernatural similarity to actual fulfilment. His friends brought him their own friends, such as had sinned against the laws of Canaan, those under the ban of the sheriff, those who had struck in anger, those who had stolen at night, those who owed and could not pay, those who lived by the dice, and to his other titles to notoriety was added that of defender of the poor and wicked. He found his hands full, especially after winning his first important case — on which occasion Canaan thought the jury mad, and was indignant with the puzzled Judge, who could not see just how it had happened.
Joe did not stop at that. He kept on winning cases, clearing the innocent and lightening the burdens of the guilty; he became the most dangerous attorney for the defence in Canaan; his honorable brethren, accepting the popular view of him, held him in personal contempt but feared him professionally; for he proved that he knew more law than they thought existed; nor could any trick him — failing which, many tempers were lost, but never Joe’s. His practice was not all criminal, as shown by the peevish outburst of the eminent Buckalew (the Squire’s nephew, esteemed the foremost lawyer in Canaan), “Before long, there won’t be any use trying to foreclose a mortgage or collect a note — unless this shyster gets himself in jail!”
Collected Works of Booth Tarkington Page 76