Then it relented, dribbled, shook down a few last drops; and passed on to the countryside. Windows went up; eaves and full gutters plashed and gurgled; clearer light fell; then, in a moment, sunshine rushed upon shining green trees and green grass; doors opened — and out came the children!
Shouting, they ran to the flooded gutters. Here were rivers, lakes, and oceans for navigation; easy pilotage, for the steersman had but to wade beside his craft and guide it with a twig. Jane’s timely boat was one of the first to reach the water.
Her mother had been kind, and Jane, with shoes and stockings left behind her on the porch, was a happy sailor as she waded knee-deep along the brimming curbstones. At the corner below the house of the Baxters, the street was flooded clear across, and Jane’s boat, following the current, proceeded gallantly onward here, sailed down the next block, and was thoughtlessly entering a sewer when she snatched it out of the water. Looking about her, she perceived a gutter which seemed even lovelier than the one she had followed. It was deeper and broader and perhaps a little browner, wherefore she launched her ship upon its dimpled bosom and explored it as far as the next sewer-hole or portage. Thus the voyage continued for several blocks with only one accident — which might have happened to anybody. It was an accident in the nature of a fall, caused by the sliding of Jane’s left foot on some slippery mud. This treacherous substance, covered with water, could not have been anticipated; consequently Jane’s emotions were those of indignation rather than of culpability. Upon rising, she debated whether or not she should return to her dwelling, inclining to the opinion that the authorities there would have taken the affirmative; but as she was wet not much above the waist, and the guilt lay all upon the mud, she decided that such an interruption of her journey would be a gross injustice to herself. Navigation was reopened.
Presently the boat wandered into a miniature whirlpool, grooved in a spiral and pleasant to see. Slowly the water went round and round, and so did the boat without any assistance from Jane. Watching this movement thoughtfully, she brought forth from her drenched pocket some sodden whitish disks, recognizable as having been crackers, and began to eat them. Thus absorbed, she failed at first to notice the approach of two young people along the sidewalk.
They were the entranced William and Miss Pratt; and their appearance offered a suggestive contrast in relative humidity. In charming and tender-colored fabrics, fluffy and cool and summery, she was specklessly dry; not a drop had touched even the little pink parasol over her shoulder, not one had fallen upon the tiny white doglet drowsing upon her arm. But William was wet — he was still more than merely damp, though they had evidently walked some distance since the rain had ceased to fall. His new hat was a mucilaginous ruin; his dank coat sagged; his shapeless trousers flopped heavily, and his shoes gave forth marshy sounds as he walked.
No brilliant analyst was needed to diagnose this case. Surely any observer must have said: “Here is a dry young lady, and at her side walks a wet young gentleman who carries an umbrella in one hand and a walking-stick in the other. Obviously the young lady and gentleman were out for a stroll for which the stick was sufficient, and they were caught by the rain. Before any fell, however, he found her a place of shelter — such as a corner drug-store and then himself gallantly went forth into the storm for an umbrella. He went to the young lady’s house, or to the house where she may be visiting, for, if he had gone to his own he would have left his stick. It may be, too, that at his own, his mother would have detained him, since he is still at the age when it is just possible sometimes for mothers to get their sons into the house when it rains. He returned with the umbrella to the corner drug-store at probably about the time when the rain ceased to fall, because his extreme moistness makes necessary the deduction that he was out in all the rain that rained. But he does not seem to care.”
The fact was that William did not even know that he was wet. With his head sidewise and his entranced eyes continuously upon the pretty face so near, his state was almost somnambulistic. Not conscious of his soggy garments or of the deluged streets, he floated upon a rosy cloud, incense about him, far-away music enchanting his ears.
If Jane had not recognized the modeling of his features she might not have known them to be William’s, for they had altered their grouping to produce an expression with which she was totally unfamiliar. To be explicit, she was unfamiliar with this expression in that place — that is to say, upon William, though she had seen something like it upon other people, once or twice, in church.
William’s thoughts might have seemed to her as queer as his expression, could she have known them. They were not very definite, however, taking the form of sweet, vague pictures of the future. These pictures were of married life; that is, married life as William conceived it for himself and Miss Pratt — something strikingly different from that he had observed as led by his mother and father, or their friends and relatives. In his rapt mind he beheld Miss Pratt walking beside him “through life,” with her little parasol and her little dog — her exquisite face always lifted playfully toward his own (with admiration underneath the playfulness), and he heard her voice of silver always rippling “baby-talk” throughout all the years to come. He saw her applauding his triumphs — though these remained indefinite in his mind, and he was unable to foreshadow the business or profession which was to provide the amazing mansion (mainly conservatory) which he pictured as their home. Surrounded by flowers, and maintaining a private orchestra, he saw Miss Pratt and himself growing old together, attaining to such ages as thirty and even thirty-five, still in perfect harmony, and always either dancing in the evenings or strolling hand in hand in the moonlight. Sometimes they would visit the nursery, where curly-headed, rosy cherubs played upon a white-bear rug in the firelight. These were all boys and ready-made, the youngest being three years old and without a past.
They would be beautiful children, happy with their luxurious toys on the bear rug, and they would NEVER be seen in any part of the house except the nursery. Their deportment would be flawless, and —
“WILL-EE!”
The aviator struck a hole in the air; his heart misgave him. Then he came to earth — a sickening drop, and instantaneous.
“WILL-EE!”
There was Jane, a figurine in a plastic state and altogether disgraceful; — she came up out of the waters and stood before them with feet of clay, indeed; pedestaled upon the curbstone.
“Who IS that CURIOUS child?” said Miss Pratt, stopping.
William shuddered.
“Was she calling YOU?” Miss Pratt asked, incredulously.
“Willie, I told you you better take an umbereller,” said Jane, “instead of papa’s cane.” And she added, triumphantly, “Now you see!”
Moving forward, she seemed to have in mind a dreadful purpose; there was something about her that made William think she intended casually to accompany him and Miss Pratt.
“You go home!” he commanded, hoarsely.
Miss Pratt uttered a little scream of surprise and recognition. “It’s your little sister!” she exclaimed, and then, reverting to her favorite playfulness of enunciation, “‘Oor ickle sissa!” she added, gaily, as a translation. Jane misunderstood it; she thought Miss Pratt meant “OUR little sister.”
“Go home!” said William.
“No’ty, no’ty!” said Miss Pratt, shaking her head. “Me ‘fraid oo’s a no’ty, no’ty ickle dirl! All datie!”
Jane advanced. “I wish you’d let me carry Flopit for you,” she said.
Giving forth another gentle scream, Miss Pratt hopped prettily backward from Jane’s extended hands. “Oo-oo!” she cried, chidingly. “Mustn’t touch! P’eshus Flopit all soap-water-wash clean. Ickle dirly all muddy-nassy! Ickle dirly must doe home, det all soap-water-wash clean like NICE ickle sissa. Evabody will love ‘oor ickle sissa den,” she concluded, turning to William. “Tell ‘oor ickle sissa MUS’ doe home det soap-water-wash!”
Jane stared at Miss Pratt with fixed solemnity
during the delivery of these admonitions, and it was to be seen that they made an impression upon her. Her mouth slowly opened, but she spake not. An extraordinary idea had just begun to make itself at home in her mind. It was an idea which had been hovering in the neighborhood of that domain ever since William’s comments upon the conversation of Mr. Genesis, in the morning.
“Go home!” repeated William, and then, as Jane stood motionless and inarticulate, transfixed by her idea, he said, almost brokenly, to his dainty companion, “I DON’T know what you’ll think of my mother! To let this child—”
Miss Pratt laughed comfortingly as they started on again. “Isn’t mamma’s fault, foolish boy Baxter. Ickle dirlies will det datie!”
The profoundly mortified William glanced back over his shoulder, bestowing upon Jane a look in which bitterness was mingled with apprehension. But she remained where she was, and did not follow. That was a little to be thankful for, and he found some additional consolation in believing that Miss Pratt had not caught the frightful words, “papa’s cane,” at the beginning of the interview. He was encouraged to this belief by her presently taking from his hand the decoration in question and examining it with tokens of pleasure. “‘Oor pitty walk’-’tick,” she called it, with a tact he failed to suspect. And so he began to float upward again; glamors enveloped him and the earth fell away.
He was alone in space with Miss Pratt once more.
XVII. JANE’S THEORY
THE PALE END of sunset was framed in the dining-room windows, and Mr. and Mrs. Baxter and the rehabilitated Jane were at the table, when William made his belated return from the afternoon’s excursion. Seating himself, he waived his mother’s references to the rain, his clothes, and probable colds, and after one laden glance at Jane denoting a grievance so elaborate that he despaired of setting it forth in a formal complaint to the Powers — he fell into a state of trance. He took nourishment automatically, and roused himself but once during the meal, a pathetic encounter with his father resulting from this awakening.
“Everybody in town seemed to be on the streets, this evening, as I walked home,” Mr. Baxter remarked, addressing his wife. “I suppose there’s something in the clean air after a rain that brings ’em out. I noticed one thing, though; maybe it’s the way they dress nowadays, but you certainly don’t see as many pretty girls on the streets as there used to be.”
William looked up absently. “I used to think that, too,” he said, with dreamy condescension, “when I was younger.”
Mr. Baxter stared.
“Well, I’ll be darned!” he said.
“Papa, papa!” his wife called, reprovingly.
“When you were younger!” Mr. Baxter repeated, with considerable irritation. “How old d’ you think you are?”
“I’m going on eighteen,” said William, firmly. “I know plenty of cases — cases where—” He paused, relapsing into lethargy.
“What’s the matter with him?” Mr. Baxter inquired, heatedly, of his wife.
William again came to life. “I was saying that a person’s age is different according to circumstances,” he explained, with dignity, if not lucidity. “You take Genesis’s father. Well, he was married when he was sixteen. Then there was a case over in Iowa that lots of people know about and nobody thinks anything of. A young man over there in Iowa that’s seventeen years old began shaving when he was thirteen and shaved every day for four years, and now—”
He was interrupted by his father, who was no longer able to contain himself. “And now I suppose he’s got WHISKERS!” he burst forth. “There’s an ambition for you! My soul!”
It was Jane who took up the tale. She had been listening with growing excitement, her eyes fixed piercingly upon William. “He’s got a beard!” she cried, alluding not to her brother, but to the fabled Iowan. “I heard Willie tell ole Mr. Genesis about it.”
“It seems to lie heavily on your mind,” Mr. Baxter said to William. “I suppose you feel that in the face of such an example, your life between the ages of thirteen and seventeen has been virtually thrown away?”
William had again relapsed, but he roused himself feebly. “Sir?” he said.
“What IS the matter with him?” Mr. Baxter demanded. “Half the time lately he seems to be hibernating, and only responds by a slight twitching when poked with a stick. The other half of the time he either behaves like I-don’t-know-what or talks about children growing whiskers in Iowa! Hasn’t that girl left town yet?”
William was not so deep in trance that this failed to stir him. He left the table.
Mrs. Baxter looked distressed, though, as the meal was about concluded, and William had partaken of his share in spite of his dreaminess, she had no anxieties connected with his sustenance. As for Mr. Baxter, he felt a little remorse, undoubtedly, but he was also puzzled. So plain a man was he that he had no perception of the callous brutality of the words “THAT GIRL” when applied to some girls. He referred to his mystification a little later, as he sat with his evening paper in the library.
“I don’t know what I said to that tetchy boy to hurt him,” he began in an apologetic tone. “I don’t see that there was anything too rough for him to stand in a little sarcasm. He needn’t be so sensitive on the subject of whiskers, it seems to me.”
Mrs. Baxter smiled faintly and shook her head.
It was Jane who responded. She was seated upon the floor, disporting herself mildly with her paint-box. “Papa, I know what’s the matter with Willie,” she said.
“Do you?” Mr. Baxter returned. “Well, if you make it pretty short, you’ve got just about long enough to tell us before your bedtime.”
“I think he’s married,” said Jane.
“What!” And her parents united their hilarity.
“I do think he’s married,” Jane insisted, unmoved. “I think he’s married with that Miss Pratt.”
“Well,” said her father, “he does seem upset, and it may be that her visit and the idea of whiskers, coming so close together, is more than mere coincidence, but I hardly think Willie is married, Jane!”
“Well, then,” she returned, thoughtfully, “he’s almost married. I know that much, anyway.”
“What makes you think so?”
“Well, because! I KIND of thought he must be married, or anyways somep’m, when he talked to Mr. Genesis this mornin’. He said he knew how some people got married in Pennsylvania an’ India, an’ he said they were only seven or eight years old. He said so, an’ I heard him; an’ he said there were eleven people married that were only seventeen, an’ this boy in Iowa got a full beard an’ got married, too. An’ he said Mr. Genesis was only sixteen when HE was married. He talked all about gettin’ married when you’re seventeen years old, an’ he said how people thought it was the best thing could happen. So I just KNOW he’s almost married!”
Mr. Baxter chuckled, and Mrs. Baxter smiled, but a shade of thoughtfulness, a remote anxiety, tell upon the face of the latter.
“You haven’t any other reason, have you, Jane?” she asked.
“Yes’m,” said Jane, promptly. “An’ it’s a more reason than any! Miss Pratt calls you ‘mamma’ as if you were HER mamma. She does it when she talks to Willie.”
“Jane!”
“Yes m, I HEARD her. An’ Willie said, ‘I don’t know what you’ll think about mother.’ He said, ‘I don’t know what you’ll think about mother,’ to Miss Pratt.”
Mrs. Baxter looked a little startled, and her husband frowned. Jane mistook their expressions for incredulity. “They DID, mamma,” she protested. “That’s just the way they talked to each other. I heard ’em this afternoon, when Willie had papa’s cane.”
“Maybe they were doing it to tease you, if you were with them,” Mr. Baxter suggested.
“I wasn’t with ’em. I was sailin’ my boat, an’ they came along, an’ first they never saw me, an’ Willie looked — oh, papa, I wish you’d seen him!” Jane rose to her feet in her excitement. “His face was so funny, you never
saw anything like it! He was walkin’ along with it turned sideways, an’ all the time he kept walkin’ frontways, he kept his face sideways — like this, papa. Look, papa!” And she gave what she considered a faithful imitation of William walking with Miss Pratt. “Look, papa! This is the way Willie went. He had it sideways so’s he could see Miss. Pratt, papa. An’ his face was just like this. Look, papa!” She contorted her features in a terrifying manner. “Look, papa!”
“Don’t, Jane!” her mother exclaimed.
“Well, I haf to show papa how Willie looked, don’t I?” said Jane, relaxing. “That’s just the way he looked. Well, an’ then they stopped an’ talked to me, an’ Miss Pratt said, ‘It’s our little sister.’”
“Did she really?” Mrs. Baxter asked, gravely.
“Yes’m, she did. Soon as she saw who I was, she said, ‘Why, it’s our little sister!’ Only she said it that way she talks — sort of foolish. ‘It’s our ittle sissy’ — somep’m like that, mamma. She said it twice an’ told me to go home an’ get washed up. An’ Miss Pratt told Willie — Miss Pratt said, ‘It isn’t mamma’s fault Jane’s so dirty,’ just like that. She—”
“Are you sure she said ‘our little sister’?” said Mrs. Baxter.
“Why, you can ask Willie! She said it that funny way. ‘Our ‘ittle sissy’; that’s what she said. An’ Miss Pratt said, ‘Ev’rybody would love our little sister if mamma washed her in soap an’ water!’ You can ask Willie; that’s exackly what Miss Pratt said, an’ if you don’t believe it you can ask HER. If you don’t want to believe it, why, you can ask—”
“Hush, dear,” said Mrs. Baxter. “All this doesn’t mean anything at all, especially such nonsense as Willie’s thinking of being married. It’s your bedtime.”
“Well, but MAMMA—”
“Was that all they said?” Mr. Baxter inquired.
Jane turned to him eagerly. “They said all lots of things like that, papa. They—”
Collected Works of Booth Tarkington Page 217