"If I'd been a moment later, you would have done it. Killed yourself. Killed yourself," he repeated, jerking her head up. "You couldn't trust me to help you."
"No, I was afraid to. I was afraid and hurt and desperate. Have I not the right to feelings? Do you think what I am strips me of them?"
Her mother had asked almost the same of him, he remembered. "No." He said it very calmly, very clearly. "I don't. Do you think what I'm not makes me less?"
Stunned, she shook her head, and pressing a hand to her lips, turned away. It wasn't only he who had questioned, she realized. Not only he who had lacked faith.
"I've been unfair to you, and I'm sorry for it. You came here for me and learned to accept the impossible in only one day."
"Because part of me accepted it all along. Burying something doesn't mean it ceases to exist. We were born for what happened here." He let out an impatient breath. Why were her shoulders slumped, he wondered, when the worse of any life was behind them? "We've done what we were meant to do, and maybe it was done as it was meant to be."
"You're right, of course." Her shoulders straightened as she turned, and her smile was bright. And false, he realized as he looked into her eyes.
"He can't come back and touch you now."
"No." She shook her head, laid a hand briefly on his. "Nor you. He was swallowed by his own. His kind are always here, but Alasdair is no more."
Then with a laugh she brought his hand to her cheek. "Oh, Cal, if I could give you a picture, as fine and bold as any of your own. How you looked when you hefted that sword over your head, the light in your eyes, the strength rippling in waves around you. I'll carry that with me, always."
She turned then, walked regally to the circle of flowers. In the center she turned, faced him, held out her hands. "Calin Farrell, you met your fate. You came to me when my need was great, when my life was imperiled. In this place you stood between me and the unbearable, fought against magic dark and deadly, wielded sword for me. You've saved my life and in so doing saved this place and all I guard in it."
"Quite a speech," he murmured and stepped closer.
She only smiled. "You're brave and true of heart. And from this hour, from this place you are free."
"Free?" Understanding was dawning, and he angled his head. "Free from you,
Bryna?"
"Free from all and ever. The spell is broken, and you have no debt to pay. But a debt is owed. Whatever you ask that is in my power you shall have. Whatever boon you wish will be yours."
"A boon, is it?" He tucked his tongue in his cheek. "Oh, let's say, like immortality?"
Her eyes flickered—disappointment quickly masked. "Such things aren't within the power I hold."
"Too tough for you, huh?" With a nod, he circled around her as if considering.
"But if I decided on, say, unlimited wealth or incredible sexual powers, you could handle that."
Her chin shot up another inch, went rigid. "I could, if it's what you will. But a warning before you choose. Be wary and sure of what you wish for. Every gift, even given freely, has a price."
"Yeah, yeah. I've heard that. Let's think about it. Money? Sex? Power, maybe.
Power's good. I could have a nice island in the Caribbean, be a benign despot. I could get into that."
"This offer was not made for your amusement," she said stiffly.
"No? Well, it tickles the hell out of me." Rocking back on his heels, he tucked his hands into his pockets. "All I had to do was knock off an evil wizard and save the girl, and I can have whatever I want. Not a bad deal, all in all. So, just what do I want?"
He narrowed his eyes in consideration, then stepped into the circle. "You."
Eyes widening, she jerked back. "What?"
"You. I want you."
"To—to do what?" she said stupidly, then blinked when he roared with laughter.
"Oh, you've no need to waste a boon there." She lifted her hands to unfasten her dress, and found them caught in his.
"That, too," he said, walking her backward out of the circle, keeping her arms up, her hands locked behind her head. "Yeah, in fact, I look forward to quite a bit of that."
The warrior was back, she thought dizzily. There, the glint of battle and triumph in his eyes. "What are you doing?"
"I'm holding you to your boon. You, Bryna, all of you, no restrictions. For better or worse," he continued until he had her backed against the wall. "For richer or poorer. That's the deal."
She couldn't get her breath, couldn't keep her balance. "You want… me?"
"I'm not getting down on one knee when it's my boon."
"But you're free. The spell is broken. I have no hold on you."
"Don't you?" He lowered his mouth, buckling her knees with his kiss. "You can't lie to me." He crushed his lips to hers again, pulling her closer. "You were born loving me." He swallowed her moan and dived deeper. "You'll die loving me."
"Yes." Powerless, she flexed the hands he held above her head.
"Look at me," he murmured, easing back as she trembled. "And see." He gentled his hands, lowered them to stoke her shoulders. "Beautiful Bryna. Mine. Only mine."
"Calin." Her heart wheeled when his lips brushed tenderly over hers. "You love me. After it's done, after it's only you and only me. You love me."
"I was born loving you." The kiss was deep and sweet. "I'll die loving you." He sipped the tears from her cheeks.
"This is real," she said in a whisper. "This is true magic."
"It's real. Whatever came before, this is what's real. I love you, Bryna. You," he repeated. "The woman who puts whiskey in my tea, and the witch who weaves me magic sweaters. Believe that."
"I do." Her breath released on a shudder of joy. She felt it. Love. Trust.
Acceptance. "I do believe it."
"It's time we made a home together, Bryna. We've waited long enough."
"Calin Farrell." She wound her arms around his neck, pressed her cheek against his. "Your boon is granted."
A Little Fate
--1 Winter Rose (05-2004)--
Chapter 1
The world was white. And bitter, bitter cold. Exhausted, he drooped in the saddle, unable to do more than trust his horse to continue to trudge forward.
Always forward. He knew that to stop, even for moments, in this cruel and keening wind would mean death.
The pain in his side was a freezing burn, and the only thing that kept him from sliding into oblivion.
He was lost in that white globe, blinded by the endless miles of it that covered hill and tree and sky, trapped in the frigid hell of vicious snow gone to icy shards in the whip of the gale. Though even the slow, monotonous movements of his horse brought him agony, he did not yield.
At first the cold had been a relief from the scorching yellow sun. It had, he thought, cooled the fever the wound had sent raging through him. The unblemished stretch of white had numbed his mind so that he'd no longer seen the blood staining the battleground. Or smelled the stench of death.
For a time, when the strength had drained out of him along with his blood, he'd thought he heard voices in the rising wind. Voices that had murmured his name, had whispered another.
Delirium, he'd told himself. For he didn't believe the air could speak.
He'd lost track of how long he'd been traveling. Hours, days, weeks. His first hope had been to come across a cottage, a village where he could rest and have his wound treated. Now he simply wanted to find a decent place to die.
Perhaps he was dead already and hell was endless winter.
He no longer hungered, though the last time he'd eaten had been before the battle. The battle, he thought dimly, where he'd emerged victorious and unscathed. It had been foolish, carelessly foolish, of him to ride for home alone.
The trio of enemy soldiers had, he was sure, been trying to reach their own homes when they met him on that path in the forest. His first instinct was to let them go. The battle had been won and the invasion crushed. But war and dea
th were still in their eyes, and when they charged him his sword was in his hand.
They would never see home now. Nor, he feared, would he.
As his mount plodded onward, he fought to remain conscious. And now he was in another forest, he thought dully as he struggled to focus. Though how he had come to it, how he had gotten lost when he knew his kingdom as intimately as a man knew a lover's face, was a mystery to him.
He had never traveled here before. The trees looked dead to him, brittle and gray. He heard no bird, no brook, just the steady swish of his horse's hooves in the snow.
Surely this was the land of the dead, or the dying.
When he saw the deer, it took several moments to register. It was the first living thing he'd seen since the flakes had begun to fall, and it watched him without fear.
Why not? he mused with a weak laugh. He hadn't the strength to notch an arrow.
When the stag bounded away, Kylar of Mrydon, prince and warrior, slumped over the neck of his horse.
When he came to again, the forest was at his back, and he faced a white, white sea. Or so it seemed. Just as it seemed, in the center of that sea, a silver island glittered. Through his hazy vision, he made out turrets and towers. On the topmost a flag flew in the wild wind. A red rose blooming full against a field of white.
He prayed for strength. Surely where there was a flag flying there were people.
There was warmth. He would have given half a kingdom to spend the last hour of his life by a fire's light and heat.
But his vision began to go dark at the edges and his head swam. Through the waves of fatigue and weakness he thought he saw the rose, red as blood, moving over that white sea toward him. Gritting his teeth, he urged his horse forward.
If he couldn't have the fire, he wanted the sweet scent of the rose before he died.
He lacked even the strength to curse fate as he slid once more into unconsciousness and tumbled from the saddle into the snow.
The fall shot pain through him, pushed him back to the surface, where he clung as if under a thin veil of ice. Through it, he saw a face leaning close to his.
Lovely long-lidded eyes, green as the moss in the forests of his home, smooth skin of rose and cream. A soft, full mouth. He saw those pretty lips move, but couldn't hear the words she spoke through the buzzing in his head.
The hood of her red cloak covered her hair, and he reached up to touch the cloth. "You're not a flower after all."
"No, my lord. Only a woman."
"Well, it's better to die warmed by a kiss than a fire." He tugged on the hood, felt that soft, full mouth meet his—one sweet taste—before he passed out.
Men, Deirdre thought as she eased back, were such odd creatures. To steal a kiss at such a time was surely beyond folly. Shaking her head, she got to her feet and took in hand the horn that hung from the sash at her waist. She blew the signal for help, then removed her cloak to spread over him. Sitting again, she cradled him as best she could in her arms and waited for stronger hands to carry the unexpected guest into the castle.
The cold had saved his life, but the fever might snatch it back again. On his side of the battle were his youth and his strength. And, Deirdre thought, herself. She would do all in her power to heal him. Twice, he'd regained consciousness during his transport to the bedchamber. And both times he'd struggled, weakly to be sure, but enough to start the blood flowing from his wound again once he was warm.
In her brisk, somewhat ruthless way, she'd ordered two of her men to hold him down while she doused him with a sleeping draught. The cleaning and closing of the wound would be painful for him if he should wake again. Deirdre was a woman who brooked no nonsense, but she disliked seeing anyone in pain.
She gathered her medicines and herbs, pushed up the sleeves of the rough tunic she wore. He lay naked on the bed, in the thin light of the pale gold sun that filtered through the narrow windows. She'd seen unclothed men before, just as she'd seen what a sword could do to flesh.
"He's so handsome." Cordelia, the servant Deirdre had ordered to assist her, nearly sighed.
"What he is, is dying." Deirdre's voice was sharp with command. "Put more pressure on that cloth. I'll not have him bleed to death under my roof."
She selected her medicines and, moving to the bed, concentrated only on the wound in his side. It ranged from an inch under his armpit down to his hip in one long, vicious slice. Sweat dewed on her brow as she focused, putting her mind into his body to search for damage. Her cheeks paled as she worked, but her hands were steady and quick.
So much blood, she thought as her breath came thick and ragged. So much pain.
How could he have lived with this? Even with the cold slowing the flow of blood, he should have been long dead.
She paused once to rinse the blood from her hands in a bowl, to dry them. But when she picked up the needle, Cordelia blanched. "My lady…"
Absently, Deirdre glanced over. She'd nearly forgotten the girl was there. "You may go. You did well enough."
Cordelia fled the room so quickly, Deirdre might have smiled. The girl never moved so fast when there was work to be done. Deirdre turned back to her patient and began carefully, skillfully, to sew the wound closed.
It would scar, she thought, but he had others. His was a warrior's body, tough and hard and bearing the marks of battle. What was it, she wondered, that made men so eager to fight, to kill? What was it that lived inside them that they could find pride in both?
This one did, she was sure of it. It had taken strength and will, and pride, to keep him mounted and alive all the miles he'd traveled to her island. But how had he come, this dark warrior? And why?
She coated the stitched wound with a balm of her own making and bandaged it with her own hands. Then with the worse tended, she examined his body thoroughly for any lesser wounds.
She found a few nicks and cuts, and one more serious slice on the back of his shoulder. It had closed on its own and was already scabbed over. Whatever battle he'd fought, she calculated, had been two days ago, perhaps three.
To survive so long with such grievous hurts, to have traveled through the
Forgotten to reach help, showed a strong will to live. That was good. He would need it.
When she was satisfied, she took a clean cloth and began to wash and cool the fever sweat from his skin.
He was handsome. She let herself study him now. He was tall, leanly muscled. His hair, black as midnight, spilled over the bed linens, away from a face that might have been carved from stone. It suited the warrior, she thought, that narrow face with the sharp jut of cheekbones over hollowed cheeks. His nose was long and straight, his mouth full and somewhat hard. His beard had begun to grow in, a shadow of stubble that made him appear wicked and dangerous even unconscious.
His brows were black slashes. She remembered his eyes were blue. Even dazed with pain, fever, fatigue, they had been bold and brilliantly blue.
If the gods willed it, they would open again.
She tucked him up warm, laid another log on the fire. Then she sat down to watch over him.
For two days and two nights the fever raged in him. At times he was delirious and had to be restrained lest his thrashing break open his wound again. At times he slept like a man dead, and she feared he would never rouse. Even her gifts couldn't beat back the fire that burned in him.
She slept when she could in the chair beside his bed. And once, when the chills racked him, she crawled under the bedclothes with him to soothe him with her own body.
His eyes did open again, but they were blind and wild. The pity she tried to hold back when healing stirred inside her. Once when the night was dark and the cold rattled its bones against the windows, she held his hand and grieved for him.
Life was the most precious gift, and it seemed cruel that he should come so far from home only to lose his.
To busy her mind she sewed or she sang. When she trusted him to be quiet for a time, she left him in the care of one of her women and
tended to the business of her home and her people.
On the last night of his fever, despair nearly broke her.
Exhausted, she mourned for his wife, for his mother, for those he'd left behind who would never know of his fate. There in the quiet of the bedchamber, she used the last of her strength and her skill. She laid hands on him.
"The first and most vital of rules is not to harm. I have not harmed you. What I do now will end this, one way or another. Kill or cure. If I knew your name"—she brushed a hand gently over his burning brow—"or your mind, or your heart, this would be easier for both of us. Be strong." She climbed onto the bed to kneel beside him. "And fight."
With one hand over the wound that she'd unbandaged, the other over his heart, she let what she was rush through her, race through her blood, her bone. Into him.
He moaned. She ignored it. It would hurt, hurt both of them. His body arched up, and hers back. There was a rush of images that stole her breath. A grand castle, blurring colors, a jeweled crown.
She felt strength—his. And kindness. A light flickered inside her, nearly made her break away. But it drew her in, deeper, and the light grew soft, warm.
For Deirdre, it was the first time, even in healing that she had looked into another's heart and felt it brush and call her own.
Then she saw, very clearly, a woman's face, her deep-blue eyes full of pride, and perhaps fear.
Come back, my son. Come home safe.
There was music—drumbeats—the laughter and shouts of men. Then a flash that was sun striking off steel, and the smell of blood and battle choked her.
She muffled a cry as she caught a glimpse in her mind. Swords clashing, the stench of sweat and death and fear.
He fought her, thrashing, striking out as she bore down with her mind. Later, she would tend the bruises they gave each other in this final pitched battle for life.
Her muscles trembled, and part of her screamed to pull back, pull away. He was nothing to her. Still, as her muscles trembled, she pit her fire against the fever, just as the enemy sword in his mind slashed against them both.
Books by Nora Roberts Page 331