by Tamryn Tamer
“You’re joking,” Brynn said in disbelief. “Are you seriously trying to entice people to join you?”
“Talented ones, absolutely,” Frost said while pointing at his shirt. “Having Lishri in the village would help everybody.”
“I’m a devout follower of Ziralia,” Lishri said. “Although I like you very much, I could never become a follower of Shalia. Her followers bring famine and plague wherever they are found.”
“That’s just a rumor,” Frost gestured at himself. “Look at me. No plague, no famine. I just kill nobles and heroes.”
“I suppose,” Lishri chuckled nervously at his joke. “But I’m still a follower of Ziralia.”
“I don’t care if you follow Shalia or not,” Frost said. “I just think that the elves would be excited to have such a talented tailor in the village. I certainly would. I don’t know how Mira would take it but she could honestly learn a lot from you and being the only tailor in the village is probably rough on her. And you could wear what you want.”
“Do you really mean that?” Lishri asked timidly. “Is it alright for a herald to accept the servant of another goddess? I feel that you must be joking.”
“He’s not joking,” Brynn sighed. “And he’s pretty strange as far as herald’s go.”
“May I think about it?” Lishri asked pensively. “If you mean it, I’ll give it very real consideration.”
“I mean it,” Frost answered. “I can’t promise the elves won’t be a little scared of you at first. But I can promise I won’t be.”
“Thank you,” Lishri said politely. “I’ll let you know.”
“Good,” Frost smiled. “In the meantime, I don’t suppose you know a good inn around here and a place to eat? I haven’t eaten anything all day and I’m starving.”
“Um,” Lishri blushed. “We don’t really have inns in this part of the city since people do not come to visit.”
“That’s not good,” Brynn said. “But it makes sense.”
“I don’t want to be rude,” Lishri whispered. “But there is one place that rents out rooms. But it’s not really an inn.”
“Oh,” Frost grinned as he realized what Lishri was talking about.
“Don’t look too excited handsome,” Brynn said. “I’m the one with the money.”
“You’re talking about a brothel, right?” Frost asked.
“Yes,” Lishri nodded. “It’s about three blocks to the north and two to the east. It’s one of the larger buildings in the area. It’s very difficult to miss.”
“Fantastic,” Frost said excitedly.
“I should warn you, there are only demihumans working there,” Lishra said.
“Hear that sexy?” Brynn smacked Frost’s ass. “Sounds like your kind of place.”
“Frost,” Lishri managed to squeak out as she walked them to the door. “I had a lot of fun, thank you.”
“I had a lot of fun too,” Frost said. He reached up and barely managed to pat Lishri on the head and the Arachne’s ghostly face turned pink. “I hope you decide to come to the village.”
“Can I hug you?” Lishri blurted out. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it. That was so impertinent. I’m so sorry. Please don’t be…”
Frost hugged Lishri and she quickly felt silent as she wrapped her arms around him and squeezed. She felt surprisingly normal, albeit a little warm. It was a little strange that she seemed to have two heartbeats. Given her size that shouldn’t have been too surprising. It was certainly relaxing.
“Thank you,” Lishri said releasing him. “And I’m so sorry, that was inappropriate of me to ask.”
“If she comes to the village, she’ll be in for a rude awakening if she finds that inappropriate,” Brynn mumbled as they exited. She turned back and waved. “Thanks for all of your help Lishri.”
“Thank you for coming!” Lishri said before quickly ducking back into her shop.
CHAPTER 23
Frost double checked the small black enchanted satchel attached to his belt to make sure he had everything. Despite being about half of the size of the elves’ enchanted packs, it had just as much storage capacity. He as impressed by the difference in quality.
“You two,” a soldier approached them while holding a small halfling boy by the back of the neck. “This halfling boy was trying to steal your horse while you were inside.”
“I wasn’t,” the halfling said. “I was just petting it!”
“Boy was going for the reins,” the soldier said. “Saw it myself.”
“Let him go,” Frost said practically ignoring the soldier as he walked past. The halfling boy wasn’t exactly his problem but he didn’t want to be the reason he was punished. “If kids see a horse, they’re going to pet a horse.”
“I’m telling you he was going for the reins,” the soldier said while pulling out a piece of paper. “Now, sign the paper saying the boy was trying to steal your horse, and I’ll be hauling him off.”
“What’s your name soldier?” Frost stepped up to the guard.
“That’s none of your concern,” the soldier responded. “The only thing you need to concern yourself with is signing the paper.”
“You’re right,” Frost nodded. “It’s not my concern. It’s the concern of Hansel Raullon, the interim governor. The thing about Hansel, is he’s a big stickler about paperwork. Transcribes everything accurately. I’m sure he’ll be very interested to know that city guards are falsifying paperwork.”
“Interim governor,” the guard spit. “A worthless little bookworm. Besides, I’m not falsifying anything. I told you what I saw,” the guard stepped toward Frost and placed his hand on his sword. “Now, I’m left wondering what a human is doing in this part of the city. I’m also wondering why he’s covering for some halfling horse thief. Maybe you need to be taken to the guard outpost and questioned? You and the little lady there?”
“You were asked not to cause trouble handsome,” Brynn smiled grabbing Frost’s arm. “We haven’t even been here a day.”
“Do you honestly think that Sir Adamus expected me to last a day?” Frost grinned.
“You’re damn right he didn’t you arrogant cunt,” an absurdly handsome silver-haired man stepped out of nothingness and Frost quickly stepped in front of Brynn. The only thing more staggering than his good looks was how amazing his voice was. He could easily be on staging wooing millions of fans, if not for his demeanor. “You stupid fuck. You were about to get into a fight, weren’t you? Stupid elf-fucking son of a bitch.”
“Baron Slade,” the guard stuttered out. “What are…”
“And you,” Slade scoffed while grabbing the guard by the back of the neck. “You must be the luckiest son of a cunt alive. You, stupid, fuck. This is Herald Frost, the fucking cunt that killed a dozen giants, the eight slayers, and still had enough energy to give those stupid assholes Adamus and Isaac a rough fucking. And as I understand it, it wasn’t a gentle sweet fucking either. He didn’t even give them a little spit when he fucked those assholes.”
“The mouth on you,” Frost laughed while quickly scanning the man. He was a level fifty-five ninja which made his manner of speaking even more confusing. He was anything but a silent assassin. The man was a foul-mouthed pretty boy. “What the hell is up with this guy?”
“Baron Slade,” Brynn said. “I see you’re still the same asshole you’ve always been.”
“And that brings us to that little lady there?” Slade pointed at Brynn. “She’s not much to worry about on her own but you put her behind a fucking monster like him, even I’m going to have some fucking problems. So, what do you think is going to happen to a soppy cunt like you?”
“I’d…”
“I’ll tell you what’d happen,” Slade said. “You’ll end up like every other soppy cunt, fucked. You hear me? Now, you can either stay here and get fucked, or you can run along and get fucked. Get me? Scurry off you soppy fucking cunt.”
“Yes sir,” the guard started walking off with the halfling
boy as Slade grabbed his hand. “Sir?”
“Leave the boy,” Slade commanded. “I was here, he was only petting the fucking horse you blind fuck.”
“Yes sir,” the guard cut the halfling child loose and ran off.
“Thank you,” the halfling said while wiping tears from his eyes.
“Nobody gives a fuck,” Slade said as the halfling child ran off. “More like a fucking halfwit than a halfling.”
“You know him?” Frost gestured at Slade. “Because he’s interesting.”
“He’s a cousin,” Brynn said. “I think. What are you again?”
“I’m your step-sibling’s wife’s brother’s son,” Slade grumbled. “Nobody knows what the hell that is but everybody knows what a baron is, which is what I am. Just assigned to this little fucking shithole city in the middle of fucking nowhere. So, I guess I’m the Baron of Blackwater. At least it fucking sounds nice.”
“If you’re here then that must mean Isabelle is being placed in charge of Blackwater,” Brynn smiled at Frost. “You’ll like her. She’s the complete opposite of Erik. She’s a great ruler.”
“Right family, wrong daughter,” Slade said coldly. “I’m here to keep an eye on the brat.”
“Fiora?” Brynn said through clenched teeth while grabbing Slade’s collar. He was sure that Slade could easily dodge the maneuver but wasn’t worried enough by Brynn to even bother. “Why?”
“Same reason you stupid fucking nobles do all of your stupid fucking bullshit, marriage,” Slade said. “If Fiora has a city she’s more saleable. You know how it goes. Or maybe you don’t. The only surviving daughter of a murdered family, lots of people suggesting you did your brothers in and then went after Erik to defle…”
“Watch your mouth Slade,” Brynn warned. “You might not be scared of me, but my fiancé…”
“Right,” Slade grinned. “I heard you had to run out and really scrape the bottom of the barrel for a husband. Not surprised given the rumors. Don’t worry, my mistress doesn’t believe them or else I wouldn’t be here.”
“I wouldn’t call myself the bottom of the barrel,” Frost said defensively. “I’m a herald.”
“You’re an elf fucker,” Slade said. “Just saying herald, nobody’s ever going to call you the giant killer or hero slayer. You’re Herald Frost, the elf-fucker.”
“You know,” Frost said thinking about the various title’s he’d earned in videogames or read about in history books. The elf-fucker was a pretty great title. “I don’t mind it. Frost the elf-fucker. I can work with that.”
“You’re fucking kidding me?” Slade scoffed. “Fucking hell. You really are as fucked in your cunty noggin as people say, aren’t you?”
“Elves have gorgeous faces, perfect skin, they basically don’t age past twenty-five, they’re fucking perfect,” Frost said defensively. “Would you prefer to fuck some old human heifer than a sexy young elf?”
“Huh?” an elf stopped dead in her tracks while walking past.
“See,” Frost pointed right at her. “Sexy blue hair, perfect skin, eye’s as golden as the sun, and look at that waist to ass ratio. Are you telling me that does nothing for you?”
“Huh?” the elf blushed as she stood there.
“No! She’s an elf!” Slade gestured at her. “I’ve seen beautiful eyes on a cat! I’m not going to fuck it! And cows have tits but I’m not going to stick my cock between them! She’s an elf!”
“She’s fucking gorgeous!” Frost said getting more irritated by Slade’s inability to admit it. “The only difference between her and Brynn here is some pointed ears!”
“She’s…an…elf!” Slade said. “So, if I made a goat pretty enough, you’d fuck it?”
“She’s…an…elf!” Frost said pointing at the girl as a crowd of demihumans looked on. “She’s not a goat! She’s a sexy fucking elf!”
“Huh?” the elf covered her mouth while looking around as if trying to figure out whether she was hallucinating.
“Fuck,” Slade said while gesturing angrily at Frost. “This is what I’m talking about Brynn. Bottom of the fucking barrel! He’s not only an elf fucker, he’s proud of it!”
“Okay,” Frost said hoping to clarify his argument. He walked toward Slade and pointed at the elf while adjusting his hand to cover her face. “Let’s say you didn’t know she was an elf and all you saw was that part of her. You’re telling me you wouldn’t fuck her?”
“I know she’s a fucking elf!” Slade smacked his hand away.
“Um,” the elf shuffled nervously. “C-can I go?”
“Of course, sorry about these two,” Brynn said apologetically as the red-faced elf sprinted off.
“Okay,” Frost held out his hands for another example. “Not the girl that just ran off. But, let’s say you walk int a room with two masked women. You can’t see their faces or anything.”
“I don’t like where this is going,” Brynn said.
“Right? So, nothing,” Frost set the scene. “Now, one of them has just huge breasts, great ass, just perfect milky skin. The other woman, let’s say she’s a little more athletic but an equally beautiful body. Tan, glistening, gorgeous. Now, both of them are wearing masks, and one of them is an elf. You’ll also never find out which one and nobody will ever know which one you fucked. Which woman would you fuck?”
“So,” Slade crossed his arms. “Neither.”
“Okay,” Frost nodded. “So, two men…”
“I’m not into men,” Slade snapped. “You stupid cunt. I’m saying that I’m not going to risk fucking an elf.”
“Nobody’s saying you’re fucking an elf,” Frost said defensively. “Unless, are you saying that you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between a human woman and an elf so you’d have to walk away?”
“What did you say you elf-fucking bastard?” Slade said threateningly. “I could tell the difference if they were real! You’re talking about two imaginary women you cunt!”
“Then pick one,” Frost said smugly. “The big breasted pale woman or the athletic tan woman? I already said, nobody will ever know which is which.”
“I’d fuck the one that’s human,” Slade said angrily. “How’s that?”
“So,” Frost nodded. “You’d fuck the human?”
“That’s what I said you stupid cunt,” Slade sneered.
“They were both elves,” Frost grinned mischievously. “You fucked an elf.”
“What did you just say?” Slade reached for his sword. “You take that back you elf-fucking bastard.”
“What?” Frost shrugged. “You said you’d fuck one of them. I thought one was human but it turned out the human one took the day off and a second elf filled in. Sorry, they were both elves.”
“I said I’d fuck the human one,” Slade yelled. “If neither of them was human I’d have walked away you lying elf-fucker.”
“Dammit,” Brynn climbed on the horse while laughing hysterically. “Slade, just let it go. Frost let’s get to the brothel. It’s pointless arguing with him.”
“I can’t believe you’re marrying this elf-fucker,” Slade said as Frost climbed on the horse. “And I wouldn’t be tricked by some fucking hood. You can put a hood on a fucking pig and it’s not going to trick anybody.”
“Tricked your father,” Frost said reflexively as Slade tightened his grip on his sword. “What? You’ve called me all sorts of names.”
“You’re lucky I’ve been told not to kill you,” Slade said. “You sick elf-fucking whoreson.”
“I just don’t get it,” Frost said in disbelief as Slade vanished into the shadows. “That really pissed him off, didn’t it?”
“What did you expect?” Brynn said. “But you need to understand that most people see elves as an entirely different species. Imagine walking down the street calling somebody a horse fucker. That’s what you did.”
“What about you?” Frost asked as they rode toward the brothel. Frost was positive that Slade was still watching from the shadows to make s
ure they didn’t get into trouble. “What do you think?”
“Well,” Brynn looked up pensively. “It’s not really a matter of debate that you’re an elf-fucker handsome. And I’m marrying you.”
“That doesn’t really answer the question of whether or not you view me sleeping with elves as wrong,” Frost said.
“It’s definitely wrong handsome,” Brynn winked. “But that’s what makes it so sexy.”
CHAPTER 24
Frost noticed the houses were getting even worse as they traveled toward the brothel. They were no longer as nice as the ones in his village and many of them were in desperate need of repair. Everything was practically built on top of each other and it was obvious overcrowding was an issue.
Frost wasn’t sure if it was because it was getting late or because of the area but there were fewer people roaming the area. Eventually, they turned onto a street with a lot of people walking around and Frost saw the brothel.
Lishri wasn’t kidding when she said they couldn’t miss the brothel. There were colorful lamps lighting up the entire area and a group of demihumans running around attempting to convince men to come inside. Not that the men needed much convincing based on the traffic patterns.
“Is that,” Frost’s jaw dropped as he gawked at a voluptuous fox girl in a beautiful red dress. Brynn jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow while shooting him a jealous glare. He wanted that fox girl, but as he looked around there were other women he wanted as well. There was a petite cat girl in a similar red dress, a bunny girl with pin-up proportions, a happy chubby girl with floppy ears and a wagging tail. “Wow.”
“I’m the one with the money handsome,” Brynn said threateningly. “You keep ogling like you are and I’ll be getting a room for one.”
“Why didn’t we see any of these women wandering through the streets earlier?” Frost asked.
“The demihumans kind of create their own little groups within their part of a city,” Brynn explained. “The area we were in was mostly elves, dwarves, and hobgoblins. Stronger workers, higher status, nicer area. Now we’re getting into the lower status area. The Myrran, Florenne, and Durra are viewed as lesser. They’re generally smaller, weaker, less useful. Durra males are strong enough to be higher status but they stick with their own since they all used to share a common homeland in the south before it was destroyed.”