I covered my mouth to hold in my scream when someone knocked at the door. I couldn’t do this. I hadn’t had a chance to mourn my loss, or even process what it meant, what my life truly was without Rainey. No one could expect me to act normal when my heart had left my body.
Darkness threatened to close its grubby fingers around my throat when I found Callie on the other side of the door.
“Are you firing me?” I turned around and headed back to the couch.
“Not yet.” She grinned, and I wasn’t sure if she was trying to be funny. “Listen, I know people are here to see you as much as they are Tristan. But you can’t keep screwing up your performance. What can I do to help you?”
Didn’t see that coming. “The obvious thing would be to get Rainey back.” The thing she couldn’t do.
“Did Lennon talk to you about staying here? If anyone comes for you, there’s surveillance in the hallways. We’ll see them coming before they know it.”
“Yeah, she did. I’m considering it.” Not because I gave a crap about my personal safety. I burst into flames on the regular. Near-death experiences didn’t bother me so much. Staying here would also keep me close to Lennon, my only source of light. I needed her energy or I’d drown in evil. “But there’s something else I need to do, too.”
“What’s that?” Callie had softened, like she was really concerned about me. More like she didn’t want the show to close, but I could lie to myself about her intentions.
“I have to see Blade.” I expected her groan. “He gives me strength. Without him and Rainey in my life, I’ll fail everyone.”
He needed light, too.
“I’m trusting you, Holly.” I wasn’t sure if it was a yes or no. “This isn’t about the show anymore. It’s about the city.”
Chapter Six
Blade didn’t know what hit him when I walked into Embrace. I don’t know what came over me, either. Raw emotion bolted through my veins. He knew Rainey was gone, I was sure of it as he snaked his arms around my waist and deepened the kiss. He needed it as badly as I did. For a few brief seconds, his fingers locking together at the small of my back fooled me into feeling safe.
“Where is she?” I managed, my lips moving against his beard. I’d been alone a little more than a day, and the emptiness threatened to bore a hole through my heart. Now I understood so much more about Blade, who had love ripped away from him like it was a playground prank too many times. I might have been guilty of it myself, stringing him along but refusing to commit. He needed what I had to give badly enough that he was willing to follow me wherever I led him.
He pulled away from me but didn’t let me out of his grasp. I’d only gotten a glimpse of the club before I found him, and I wanted all the protection he was willing to offer in this hellhole. “What are you talking about?”
“Rainey disappeared in the middle of my show last night. If you did something to her—”
“Holly, what the fuck? There are very few people on this earth I wouldn’t dare mess with. Trust me when I say Rainey is at the very top of that list.”
“Why?” I was on a need to know basis. If he’d held back information that led to her disappearance, I couldn’t forgive him.
“Because hurting her is hurting you,” he said barely loud enough to be heard over the DJ’s trance music. He managed a smirk. “And because she’s got spells that could bring us all to our knees.”
I wriggled free, only to sit down. My knees were weak and the room was spinning. I had yet to go nose-blind to the rotten meat smell of old, wasted blood no one had bothered to mop up; it would’ve been futile. That type of filth stained.
It had been an easy solution, to think Blade had Rainey. Maybe because I knew what he said was true. He’d never hurt her. The real problem was my only other lead was Gabriel, whose trail quickly faded into oblivion. “If she’s that powerful, why didn’t she fix the problem?”
Why didn’t she stay?
Blade put his hand over mine, picking up my fingers and letting them drop. “Maybe she didn’t want to.”
He may not hurt Rainey, but that simple sentence was a kick to the gut. “Don’t say that.” I could barely get the words out.
“That’s not what I meant.” He pulled a chair beside me and put a cool hand on my back. I hated to admit it made me feel better. That it made me crave things I was sick of apologizing for. “She’d never leave you unless she thought staying would hurt you more.”
At least he didn’t claim that she thought I’d be better off without her. “Well, she’s gone.” Blade’s only reaction to that statement was to raise an eyebrow. “She disappeared from my dressing room. Then Gabriel was in her seat, like he wanted to be caught.”
Blade peered out at the debauchery that had blossomed throughout the post-midnight crowd. “He probably does.”
“How do I catch him?” I looked around the room for any signs of him or his cronies. “He materializes and then he’s gone. Like a ghost.”
He nodded, not looking at me, like he was distracted. “Might be.”
I wanted to scream he wasn’t taking me seriously. But he was, and that was the problem. He didn’t have any answers for me. “Will you help me find her?”
“Yeah.” He snapped back to attention. “I will.”
For all the times Blade had been discarded, no one had ever tested his loyalty to see if he’d come through in a clutch. It was natural to lean in for another kiss, and it was only tinged with a slight bit of guilt. Blade, Rainey, and I had an understanding. They both loved me, and they wanted me to succeed. Okay, so the kiss tasted like a double-order of guilt. I hadn’t tried to save either of them—Blade from his darkness or Rainey from the light.
And that was my biggest mistake. Gabriel, the elusive fucker, was all about balance. I’d always thought of it in terms of saving myself from the darkness. This wasn’t the first time someone could point a finger in my direction and call me selfish. I made a career out of putting myself first. Finally, I understood how to change that. I had to show Blade there was a better way. If I wanted to bring my deplorable visions of the future to a screeching halt, I had to convince Blade there was still good in this world.
“Is fire your only power?” I asked. The kiss had trailed off, both of us thinking of too many other things.
“The only good one.” He shrugged. “Everything else is pretty run of the mill vampire shit. I like to think I’m better at it than a lot of the other vampires in the clan because they’re too busy trying to be human.”
The last part came out with the growl of a man who didn’t just get picked last for the team, he hadn’t been invited to play. So convincing Blade to come to the light would be an uphill battle, and time was precious. I considered trying to travel back in time to have this conversation with him before it was too late. But I’d never been able to change vampire history. I had to hope Gabriel was willing to negotiate for the release of his hostages.
“My travels used to only be to the past. Now I can go to the future.” I closed my eyes, drawing in putrid air before I told him the rest. “Today, I think I went to another Realm. Where Gabriel lives.”
Blade whistled low. “Are you sure?”
Hell no. Everything in my life was an illusion. “Whatever it was, he was the king of his world.” And he’d be kissing the Queen’s ring when I was done with him.
“How did you know?” Blade leaned forward and the rest of the club all but disappeared. I wondered if he had his own selfish reasons for being interested. There was a reason why Blade and I got along—besides the fire and the insane sexual chemistry, of course.
“It’s not a neat little story.” To get Rainey back and keep order in this city, I had to convince Blade there was something for him in Gabriel’s Realm. And if I had to play dirty to do it, so be it. Blade would reap the rewards and never know what hit him, in a perfect world—which this was not. I smiled at him like I was still standing in the middle of the stage, about to ignite. All I needed was my
fire. “Will you stay with me tonight?”
A spark flickered in Blade’s eyes, and it was obvious he wasn’t trying to be human at all. He licked his lips, making him look almost feral, but more than that, possessive. Whoever fucked with me would have to deal with his wrath. Maybe this would be easier than I thought.
He came in close and I thought he was going to kiss me, but he restrained himself. “I thought you’d never ask.”
“THEY DRAGGED US OUT of here kicking and screaming last time.” Blade’s breath danced against my cheek as we walked through the lobby of the Alta Vista. “You sure you’ve got a key? Because I’ll make sure they hear you screaming all the way up to the penthouse.”
The Mistress had barred Blade from existing within fifty feet of casino grounds, so I knew he’d get off on getting me off here. “I’m staying here now. And I’m not a screamer.”
“Wait. What?” He stopped short in the middle of the lobby.
“Holly Octane? Is that you?” A couple of girls in Immortal Dilemma T-shirts rushed over but hesitated like they weren’t sure if they recognized me with my clothes on, or they realized they’d crashed an awkward moment. I smiled and nodded. The girls bounced and squealed in front of us, and I wanted to do the same, but not with Blade standing next to me. It had been a long time since anyone had recognized me in public. “Can we take a picture with you?”
“Sure.” They stood on either side of me as we huddled together for a selfie.
“What’s it like to work with Tristan?” one of them asked. “Has he ever....” She trailed off, turning bright red.
“Ever what?” I asked. I winked at Blade, who shoved his hands in his pockets at the first mention of the T word.
“Rumor has it that you two are a couple.” The other one stepped forward with a grin.
“What?” I couldn’t contain my laughter. “No. The billboards and stuff, they’re hot, but that was a staged photo shoot. And Tristan’s not my type.”
They sized up Blade. “Is this your boyfriend?”
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I said before he had a chance to play the alpha male card. “I have a girlfriend.”
“Oh.” The producers of the show had made good on their promise so far and kept Rainey off camera. In retrospect, I wondered if that was a bad decision. The more people who had seen Rainey, the more to look for her. If I could ever tell them she was missing. The girls gave Blade some serious side-eye, since we’d pretty much been tangled in the early stages of foreplay when they approached us. Whatever. I told them the truth. He wasn’t my boyfriend.
“Thanks for taking a picture with us. We love the show,” the brave one said before they headed out into the hot Las Vegas night.
I grabbed Blade’s arm before anyone else had a chance to approach. “I hope you glamoured them so they forget that happened,” I muttered as we approached the elevator.
“Why? Ashamed to be seen with me?”
“No, I’m not ashamed to be seen with you.” I waited for the elevator door to close before I gave my reason. “But if someone’s looking for a story about the show, I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea, that’s all.”
“Why did you bring me here, Holly?” He stepped closer, the flashing lights from the outside of the building cast an eerie light over his face. “You knew the risks.”
“Because I think this is where Gabriel’s Realm is.” I should’ve expected the cocked eyebrow. “It’s not like a black hole or anything. But when I travelled, it was to the hotel that was here before this one was built.”
Blade had the nerve to grin. “And you don’t think he got new digs when the old place imploded?”
It was hard to believe that I was here, in another building on this very spot, less than twenty-four hours ago. I hadn’t had a lot of time to think my theory through. “His Realm has a complete absence of evil. But it’s not exactly goody two-shoes, either.”
The elevator stopped at our floor and I held up the envelope. The number was written on the outside. I hadn’t been to the room yet. Instead, I got the key and went straight into the arms of the enemy.
Anything could be waiting for me in there.
Blade pointed us in the right direction. Interesting that he knew the hotel better than I did.
“Tell me about Gabriel’s Realm,” he said.
I backed him up against the wall as a couple passed and kept him there long after they disappeared. The heat rolling between us was a tangible thing and I wished I could bottle it. Instead, I’d make it explode. “Let me show you.”
He nodded and followed me to the room without another word.
A bouquet of fresh flowers waited for me with a note. The hearts and X’s in lieu of a signature made me think Lennon wrote it.
Whatever you want is yours while you stay here.
Bet that didn’t include Blade. They should’ve been more specific.
P.S. The curtains will black out anything. Just in case.
Blade’s hands were on my waist, and I shoved the note under the vase. My body was going haywire in anticipation of a little fire play. I didn’t have time for conspiracy theories, or the fact that the invitation to stay had been extended to protect me from the man whose beard currently tickled the bare skin on my shoulder.
“Those girls will fall asleep thinking about what it would be like to be with you.” There was an edge to his voice, and if he were any less human, it would’ve come out as a growl.
He was trying to be serious, but I laughed. “I doubt that. They seemed too interested in Tristan to be queer.”
“Everyone who sees you is thinking about fucking you.” Present company included, judging from his erection against my back. He slid his hands slowly up my sides, bringing them to rest on my breasts. “About touching you. Just like this.”
He licked my shoulder, his lips coming to rest at the tender curve of my neck. I braced myself for the impact that didn’t come. This was a test, and there was no telling what constituted a passing grade. “But they can’t do it. Only I can have you. And Rainey,” he added as an afterthought.
“Rainey’s not here.” My voice shook.
“She’s going to be sorry she missed this.” He kissed my neck, priming the spot that he’d likely sink his fangs into.
I pulled away from him, not ready to give him my blood yet. Blade wasn’t a magician, but the blood exchange would leave a fog hanging over my head, and I had shit to get done before I could succumb to pleasure. Even if all our lives depended on it. “I haven’t told you about Gabriel yet.”
“I’m having a really hard time giving a fuck about Gabriel right now,” he said. Wrong answer. I was a fool to think he didn’t have his own agenda. “Okay. What happened?”
Sometimes I had to pretend I was on stage, with the crowd roaring in anticipation of my next move. I took a couple steps toward him, and he softened, licking his lips and leaving his mouth open. My muscles throbbed, especially the ones deep inside. Not the ones responsible for the fire, either.
“It was complete hedonism,” I finally said, picturing myself on one of those beds and Blade and Rainey taking turns pleasuring me with everyone watching. That was why I liked being on stage so much. I spent too much of my life in the shadows, hiding my desires from anyone with an opinion. No more. If I learned only one thing from Gabriel, that would be my lesson. “No casino. Just beds, full of people having their way with each other.”
Blade cocked an eyebrow. “Out in the open?”
“Yes. Naked bodies everywhere, wanting nothing but pleasure.” While I was there, I’d been confused and terrified, but the memory of the scene had me so turned on I could barely stand up. “That’s what Gabriel’s world is like.”
I wondered what Rainey was doing right now, if she was on one of those beds, and if she liked it. Or if Gabriel had her hard at work, doing whatever he thought was so much more important than keeping my sorry ass out of trouble. Blade separated me from that thought with a hot, hungry kiss. When we touc
hed, there was no more pretending with him. His rough touch was so different from Rainey’s. He knew exactly what to do with my body to command my full attention. We separated with a gasp.
“Did you like it?” he asked.
“Not initially. But I can’t stop thinking about what it would be like for everyone to watch us, doing that.”
“Doing what?” he asked. He ran his fingers along my jaw, turning me to him. I diverted my gaze, and he cupped my chin, not letting me evade the question. “Tell me what you want, Holly.”
“I want everyone to watch you fuck me.” The words came out with a sharp breath. “I want them to fight over who gets me next, but they never get me. Only you.”
And Rainey, but those words didn’t come. I was even more scared now than I had been when I was there, because I worried Blade had cast his spell over me. That Team Dark Side, which I so enthusiastically threatened to cheer for if Rainey ever left me, had me in a stranglehold. The further I got from the light, the less chance I had of seeing her again.
“I’m done holding back with you.” Blade was all hard edges and his eyes weren’t blue anymore. They glowed, like flames, daring me to follow him anywhere. And I would. “At first I wasn’t sure what you could take, and then I was willing to let you and Rainey play games because the end justified the means.”
It occurred to me that I’d fallen for the trap. He had Rainey and I’d never see her again. “Because sticking it in me was sticking it to The Mistress.”
He grinned in confirmation. Blade got his rocks off by killing people. Desperation was the most decadent dessert for him. I usually didn’t fall into that category, but without Rainey, I most definitely did. “Are you going to hurt me?”
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