by Joyce Alec
Alice attempted to drop into her very best curtsy, only for her legs to wobble in a most unladylike fashion. She stumbled forward, one hand stretched out toward the chair to her left in an attempt to balance herself.
“Sorry!” she exclaimed, seeing the grey-haired lady’s eyes flare. “My legs aren’t used to being on land just yet. All those days at sea has made me a little unsteady.” She tried to smile, aware of just how hot her face was burning, but did not attempt to curtsy again. “It’s very good to meet you.”
Lady Fossett said nothing for some moments, leaving Alice feeling all the more embarrassed.
“You did not travel alone, I hope?” the lady said eventually, clearing her throat in a gentle yet disdainful manner, as she lifted her chin and let her eyes travel down Alice’s form. “And I must hope that you have brought a good many more gowns with you and that they are in better shape than the one you have on at present.”
Alice did not know what to say to this, feeling as though the lady had struck her, hard, across the face. Her mouth went dry and she struggled to speak, feeling tears beginning to burn in the corners of her eyes. The voyage had been long and arduous, and even with her companion—a Miss Johnston, who was to be a governess to some family in England—she had felt quite homesick and sorrowful. Now, having arrived and being faced with such harsh words, Alice felt like turning around and returning back to the docks at once. She did not want to be here. She wanted to return home, back to her parents and back to the life she knew. Even if society disliked her, even if she did not fit into that life in any way, surely it would be better than here.
“Are you mute?” the lady asked crossly, her sharp, brown eyes narrowing a little. “Or are you simply refusing to answer my questions?”
Alice swallowed her tears and tried to smile, ignoring the pain that lanced through her heart. “I—I did not travel alone, no,” she stammered quickly. “My companion was a Miss Johnston, who then accompanied me to London. She is to be a governess to a family here.” She saw the lady nod, although there was no accompanying smile. “We also had one of my father’s hired men with us, although he is to return to America now.” Trying to smile, she looked down at her gown, painfully aware now that she must look a little bedraggled. “The journey was rather arduous but to answer your question, yes, I do have other gowns.”
The lady sniffed disparagingly and looked away. “Why my nephew has chosen to marry someone from another land instead of from his own fair isle, I shall never understand.” She glanced back at Alice, her dislike more than apparent. “Well, you shall have to bathe, change, and rest. You are to meet your betrothed this evening.”
Alice did not say another word, feeling lost, afraid, and entirely alone. She had already made a terrible first impression upon the lady, she knew, but it could not be helped. She had not meant to stumble, had not meant to make such a fool of herself, but could Lady Fossett not show even a little understanding? Could she not have been kinder in her words rather than seeking to pull Alice down in the way that she had done? And this lady was soon to become family. Alice could hardly bear the thought, turning away from Lady Fossett and following the butler from the room.
Had she been in a better frame of mind, being shown to her room and marveling at the grandeur and beauty of it would have come naturally to her. As it was, she was so distressed that she barely glanced at anything within, going straight to the large bed in the center of the room and collapsing down onto it. The tears came immediately and Alice began to sob brokenly, feeling further away from home than ever before. Even the quiet, concerned voice of her new maid did nothing to help her, bringing her yet more tears and even more sorrow. Everything was new. Everything was strange in a way that she had never experienced before. There was no one here that she knew, no friend that she might turn to for help and support. She did not even know her betrothed, and yet was somehow meant to greet him with joyous spirits and a glad heart.
Part of her felt as though she had been used to further her own family’s good name. By marrying an earl, her father’s reputation would rise higher than ever before, allowing him and her mother to be accepted into the very highest echelons of society. Yes, she would be a countess and yes, her children would bear a title in their own right, but that did not seem to be blessing enough for her to have given up her freedom. Her fortune was all that the earl wanted, all that he desired. She meant nothing to him. Tears began to pour all the more freely from her eyes and she buried her head in the soft pillows, feeling more alone than ever before.
“You are late.”
Alice hurried into the drawing room, her hands clasped in front of her as she had been instructed. Her chin lifted, she looked back at Lady Fossett with as much sharpness in her own gaze as she could muster. Her tears had abated some hours ago, and in their place had come the firm decision to simply continue as she was expected to. Alice was nothing if not practical and telling herself repeatedly that she longed for home was going to do nothing other than bring about an even greater sorrow to her heart. She must go forward as she had been told to do, which meant preparing herself for meeting her betrothed.
“I do not think I am tardy,” she replied, seeing the astonishment ripple across Lady Fossett’s expression. “I was told to be here by four o’clock and, as you can see, I am here precisely on time.” This was accompanied by the sound of the grandfather clock in the hallway beginning to chime the hour, which brought a satisfied smile to Alice’s face.
Lady Fossett, however, did not look either amused or apologetic. Instead, she simply shook her head and sighed heavily, as though Alice was disappointing her all over again.
“One does not argue with one’s elders,” Lady Fossett said in a commanding tone. “Sit down, Miss Jones, and we shall await the arrival of Lord Allerton.”
“I thought he was to be here at four o’clock,” Alice replied, quietly hoping that Lady Fossett would realize the injustice of chastising Alice for her supposed tardiness in the face of Lord Allerton’s obviously late arrival. “He has not arrived?”
Lady Fossett bristled and turned her head away from Alice, refusing to even answer her question. Alice sat down quietly, her hands in her lap and a sense of anxiety continuing to build within her. She did not like Lady Fossett in the least, finding the old lady to be quite crotchety and very rude in her manner of speaking. She had not been at all welcoming and had left Alice feeling quite deflated. Alice feared that Lord Allerton would be much the same as his aunt, but was quite determined that she would not be the mouse that she thought Lady Fossett wished her to be. She would not allow them to push her into a corner where she might be only seen but neither spoken to nor given any sort of regard.
“My nephew will expect the very best from you,” Lady Fossett said out of the corner of her mouth so that she would not have to look at Alice. “You cannot permit yourself to behave in the manner you have done thus far.” She clicked her tongue in obvious disapproval of Alice’s behavior. “You cannot show any sort of impropriety or rudeness in either your manner or your speech. Do I make myself clear, Miss Jones?”
Alice said nothing, refusing to acknowledge that the lady had spoken. She did not want to give the impression that she agreed with Lady Fossett’s assessment of her. As far as she was concerned, she had behaved very well indeed.
“Miss Jones!”
Lady Fossett’s voice was louder now, holding an edge of warning. “Do you understand me?”
Alice turned her head away and was saved from answering by the arrival of the butler, pushing the door open and holding it aside for Lord Allerton. She rose quickly, just as Lady Fossett did, remembering to clasp her hands in front of her but looking steadily back at the gentleman who had walked into the room.
Her first impression of him was that he was everything she had expected in an English lord. He had a handsome face, with light brown hair and bright blue eyes which seemed to practically glow with their intensity. He walked with an air of refinement which, along with
the cut of his clothes, gave her the impression that he was every inch a gentleman. His boots shone, his cravat was tied impeccably, and even his bow was utterly perfect.
She did not know whether she liked him or not.
“Miss Jones, I presume,” he said, reaching for her hand. “I am glad to meet you at last.”
Remembering her failed curtsy from the first time she had met Lady Fossett, Alice quickly dipped into a beautiful curtsy, managing to throw a small, triumphant glance toward Lady Fossett as she rose.
“Lord Allerton,” she murmured, giving him her hand and watching as he bowed over it, aware that she felt nothing as his fingers held hers. “I have arrived from America, as you can see.”
He nodded and smiled, letting her fingers go as quickly as he could. “Indeed. I do hope your journey was not unpleasant.”
“It was, in fact,” she answered, seeing how his brows lifted in evident surprise—although whether it was from the fact that her journey had been very difficult indeed, or because she had given him such a direct answer, she could not tell. “Very long and very trying. I am glad to be back on solid ground, I must say.” She took her seat again, feeling quite tired still. “I am weary, of course, but a few days’ rest should improve matters.”
Lord Allerton cleared his throat, sharing a glance with Lady Fossett that Alice did not like. “Yes, yes, of course,” he stammered, clearly a little surprised about something she had done or something she had said. “I am sure you must be.”
Lady Fossett sat down heavily, and then gestured toward a seat. Lord Allerton smiled his thanks and sat down also, just as the door opened and two maids came in with trays laden with food and the like. Alice flushed crimson at once, wondering if this was what she had done wrong. Should she have waited for Lady Fossett to sit first before she took her seat again?
“And you have met my aunt, of course,” Lord Allerton continued with a small smile in the older lady’s direction. “I am very grateful that you have been able to give up some of your time, Aunt. Lord Fossett—Viscount Fossett, Miss Jones—will miss you, I am sure.”
Lady Fossett beamed at this, the first time Alice had ever seen her smile. “You know I would do anything to aid my dear nephew, of course.”
Alice resisted the urge to roll her eyes and ignored the tight knot of anxiety in her belly.
“We shall wed the day after Christmas,” Lord Allerton said in a bright voice, although it did not reach his eyes. “I confess that I dearly love Christmas. The dancing, the singing, the warm fires, and the games all bring very fond memories to me.”
Alice smiled tightly. She had endured many a difficult Christmas, back when her father and mother had not had a good deal of wealth between them and, in fact, had not even been able to take a single day from their work. Thereafter, of course, she had enjoyed better Christmases, which had included some of what Lord Allerton had spoken of. The thought of spending it here in England, knowing that her wedding day was to come straight after, sent a flurry of nerves running through her veins.
“I am certain we have a lot to discuss,” Lord Allerton continued as Lady Fossett looked pointedly at her. “There are some weeks for us to get to know each other, however, before we start making plans for the wedding itself.”
“There is a lot for us to discuss, I’m sure,” Alice answered with a small shrug. “But there are some things I need before I can even think about our wedding day.”
Again, there came a moment or two of silence where Alice was well aware of the looks exchanged between Lord Allerton and Lady Fossett. What was it she had done now?
Lord Allerton cleared his throat. “You are also to have a new wardrobe, I understand?”
“Yes,” Alice murmured, wishing to goodness that her cheeks would stop burning. “That’s quite right. My father has sent over some money to you, I think, so that I can purchase what I need.”
Again, there was a short, uncomfortable silence. Perhaps, Alice thought, she was not meant to know of such things, was not meant to know about money being sent to one place or the next.
Lord Allerton smiled tightly, just as Lady Fossett gestured toward the tea tray, looking pointedly at Alice. Alice frowned, looking back at Lady Fossett in confusion.
“Yes, I should like some tea,” she stammered, thinking to herself that she did not truly enjoy such a beverage but that, in this case, she had to make every effort to come to appreciate it. “Thank you.”
Lady Fossett drew in a long breath, her eyes flaring and a hint of color coming into each cheek. Alice said nothing, watching the older lady seem to balloon in her chair and fearing that soon there might come some terrible sort of explosion that she was quite sure would center around her. A sense of dread took over her soul, making her want to pick up her skirts and run from the room. She had done something else that Lady Fossett considered to be an affront, it seemed, even though she had no perception of what that might be.
“You cannot marry this girl.”
Alice shuddered as the sound of Lady Fossett’s loud, screeching voice filled the room.
“What can you be thinking, Allerton?” she continued, as though Alice could not hear a word of what was being said. “She is ill-mannered, rude, and has no understanding of what we expect!” She threw one hand toward Alice, as though she were nothing more than a mangy cat who was poor and unwanted. “She cannot even pour the tea!”
“I—I didn’t—I mean, I did not know that this was what you expected of me,” Alice interrupted, tears filling her eyes as she got to her feet, seeing how Lord Allerton frowned, glancing between her and Lady Fossett. “I have come from another country, practically another world, and you cannot expect me to know precisely what it is you require without explaining it to me first!”
Lady Fossett went white. She got up slowly from her chair and the room fell silent as she stared hard at Alice. Alice, her determination slowly beginning to diminish in the face of such an assault, forced her tears back by sheer force of will, her lips trembling as she looked back at Lady Fossett with as much steadiness as she could.
“You will be a laughingstock,” Lady Fossett whispered, turning back toward Lord Allerton and pointing one finger in Alice’s direction. “She will bring you more embarrassment, more shame, and more mortification than any other young lady of the ton. Why must you marry her, Allerton? Why not pick someone more suitable?”
Lord Allerton got to his feet also then, his tall stature towering over Lady Fossett. His face was grave, his eyes hard, and his jaw firm.
“There is nothing to discuss, Aunt,” he said, his voice low and rasping. “The engagement is in place. The marriage will proceed as planned. I must marry Miss Jones now, not only because she has already made the journey from America, but because it is necessary for me to secure my future.” He held up one hand, preventing the questions that sprang to Lady Fossett’s mouth from falling from her lips. “I will hear no more. Miss Jones may lack knowledge of the way of things here, but that can be rectified very easily indeed. And I am certain that Miss Jones herself will do all she can to ensure that she does not bring any sort of embarrassment either to herself or to me.” His eyes finally lifted to hers, as hard as flint. “Is that not so, Miss Jones?”
Alice wanted to open her mouth and answer him, wanted to say that, of course, she would do all that she could, but the burden he had set on her shoulders began to weigh down on her so heavily that she could barely catch her breath. Her vision began to blur as she dropped her head, hearing Lady Fossett murmur something more to her nephew as she herself remained mute. It all became too much for her to bear. She felt as though the room was beginning to close in on her, and she struggled to get her breath as she looked all about her, as though she might find some strength from somewhere within the room. She did not want to remain here under their scrutiny and to bear their shaming words any longer.
“If you will excuse me.”
Lifting her chin a notch and forcing herself to look directly into Lord Allerton’s
face, Alice walked swiftly past both him and Lady Fossett, hearing but ignoring the lady’s swift intake of breath at her behavior. Walking hurriedly toward the door, she pulled it open and walked straight through it, feeling almost relieved when it slammed closed behind her. She heard Lady Fossett’s loud exclamations almost at once but gave them no heed. All she wanted was to escape to her rooms and to stay there for some time, trying to work through her distress and her sorrow. Lord Allerton had not been what she had expected. He was handsome, yes, and clearly very genteel, but he had not immediately jumped to her defense when Lady Fossett had begun to screech about Alice’s lack of manners. He had spoken to her in a way that lacked respect, as though he expected her to simply agree to everything he said and do all she could to please him, without even considering what she herself might require.
Hurrying into her room, Alice shut the door tightly and bolted it, looking all about her and seeing no maid within. She was entirely alone.
Closing her eyes, she sank down low, her back against the door. Folding her arms over her knees, Alice rested her head against them and drew in long, calming breaths. She would not cry again, she told herself sternly. She had to find a strength now that would pierce through her sadness and misery. There was no going back to America, not when she knew her father and mother wanted this marriage to happen. Despite what Lord Allerton thought of her, he had made it quite clear that they would wed in a few weeks’ time. Therefore, she would have to find the courage to do her very best to involve herself in society and behave as best she could, even though she was certain to make mistakes. If Lady Fossett had been more encouraging rather than cruel, Alice might have felt more hopeful. However, as things now stood, she felt more than a little downhearted.
“I must go forward,” she whispered to herself, still able to hear Lady Fossett’s shrieks of indignation. “I must not give in to their attempts to humiliate me.” She was going to do her utmost to ensure that she was welcomed into society and into Lord Allerton’s household, but she would not permit herself to be shamed because of her lack of experience in English ways. Swallowing hard, she lifted her head from her arms and rested it against the door, letting out a long, pained sigh. This was going to be a good deal more difficult than she had expected.