by P. G. Van
“About a week ago.”
I gasped. “You’ve been planning this for a week, and you didn’t say anything?”
“I’ve known your entire plan for the trip since the time you bought your tickets.” He winked.
“Is that why my seat was magically upgraded to First Class?” I taunted.
He nodded, smiling.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Didn’t you like the surprise better?”
“Yes, but… I don’t get it.”
“What, love?”
“You could have told me not to go by myself, and I would have dropped the plan. I didn’t want you to feel compelled to go with me,” I said, softly.
Nick leaned closer and pecked my cheek with his lips. “I would never do that… you know that.”
“Why are we meeting Sanjana today… in a hurry when I was going to meet her in a few days?”
“She was in town and asked her if she could meet with us sooner.” Nick’s tone was casual, but something told me there was more to it.
“What is it that we need to discuss today that couldn’t wait for a few days.”
Nick took a deep breath and brought the back of my hand to his lips. “Do you trust me to do the right thing?”
His words sent pangs of anxiety through my body, but I managed to nod as I was unable to say anything.
“Promise me… sweetheart, promise me you will not oppose or contradict anything I say tonight.”
“Nick… why are you saying that?”
“Sameera, do you trust me?”
“With my life,” I said without any hesitation.
Nick pulled me closer to plant a kiss on my temple. “I promise to keep you and our family happy and safe.”
“Nick, why are you saying that now? What are…” He hushed me by bringing his lips to mine.
“You are my everything, and I would never do anything to hurt you,” he mumbled against my lips.
Chapter 5
I silently held onto Nick and stayed in his arms for the rest of the drive. What he said made me sick to my core with worry, but I couldn’t continue the conversation. I loved and trusted him never to have to question his intentions, but what he said on our way to meet Sanjana made me wonder why he said what he said.
The SUV pulled into the driveway of a large house with guards stationed outside the main entrance. I saw the driver roll down the window and show his ID before pulling into the driveway. The men ran a scanner under the carriage of the car before letting the car pass through the gates.
“What’s all the commotion?”
“Sanjana’s father is part of the Prime Minister’s Cabinet. This is standard security,” Nick responded to my concerned look.
Nick got out of the SUV and held his hand out to help me. I gathered the long cotton skirt I had on that evening and stepped out of the vehicle holding Nick’s hand.
“You okay?” he whispered, pulling me closer, and I nodded in response even though my heart was racing with apprehension. I knew it was going to come to a head regarding the truth, or close to the truth, that I have wanted to know for almost two years.
I looked up from Nick’s and my clasped fingers when I heard a woman’s voice. We stepped into a luxurious living room, and the woman’s voice was coming from a floor above us. From the way her voice flowed in clusters, I could tell she was on the phone.
An elderly man welcomed us and gestured for us to take a seat. I sat next to Nick and looked up in the direction of the voice. I saw a woman pacing on the landing area of the floor above us. The woman was Sanjana, my distant relative, and the woman we met two years ago the day her child was kidnapped.
I had talked to her a few times on the phone from the time we found out about the family we were unaware existed. I looked at the woman who was a helpless mom the last time I saw her. I felt the twist in my womb at the thought of our children.
“Nick, I miss our babies… let’s go back tomorrow.”
“Sameera, I miss them, too, baby… but… I know how much this whole ordeal has bothered you. We need to put an end to it. I want the woman I fell in love with not someone consumed by the unanswered questions.”
“Nick, I’m yours. I’m the same person you met years ago. It’s just that I… we are destined to answer the unanswered,” I whispered.
Nick put his arm around me and pulled me closer, and that gesture gave me all the strength I needed.
“Sameera, Nikhil… sorry to keep you waiting,” Sanjana said as she was walking down the last few steps. She looked polished in tailored business attire which was a contrast to the shaken-up mom when we last saw her.
Sanjana put her arms around me for a warm hug. “I can’t believe it took this long for us to meet… how are your little ones doing?”
“Keeping us busy.” I smiled and asked, “How is little Sameera doing?”
“She is one tough toddler.” Sanjana laughed.
“I’m sure you miss her,” I said.
“Yes, I’m flying back home tonight.” Sanjana smiled.
“Thanks for agreeing to see us after a long day at the conference,” Nick stated sitting on the chair next to the sofa.
“My pleasure. I know Sameera has been waiting to get her hands on the journals.” Sanjana stood up to open the large cabinet in the living area and punched in a code on the safe door and pulled out a brown cardboard box before shutting the safe.
“I had to get clearance from the Board to bring these with me. Nick insisted you would want to get to them as soon as you landed in India.” Sanjana handed the box to me before sitting on the sofa next to me.
“Can I keep them?” I asked unsure what it meant if the Board had to approve the movement of Rajaram’s journals.
“You, well you and Nikhil, are the rightful owners of the personal documentation and everything associated with the trust. You are free to do what you wish with the journals. I needed permission to be the one to bring them to you.” Sanjana sounded extremely professional in spite of the trust being a family-related organization.
“Thanks, Sanjana. I’d like to meet with the Board as well while we are here because we are planning to dissolve the trust and liquidate the assets,” Nick declared in a cold tone making Sanjana gasp and making me wonder if I heard him correctly.
“I’m sorry, say that again.” Sanjana seemed to be in shock.
“You heard me. That is what we would like to do with the trust.” Nick turned to look at me and held my shocked gaze for a few moments before looking away.
“Nick…” I started to say, but he shook his head.
“Sameera, we talked about it. This is what is best for all of us.”
“Nikhil, you are the sole heir to the trust, but I will tell you this is not the right thing to do. My family spent decades protecting the trust, and you are talking about dismantling it even before you take it over?” Sanjana spit fired her words.
“That is Sameera’s and my decision,” Nick declared.
Sanjana looked at me as I sat still taking in the words and tying Nick’s words back to what he had said in the car on our way to meet Sanjana. I fought back tears of anger and disappointment but did not utter a word.
“Sameera, talk to Nikhil. This is the Raja’s legacy. You will be disrupting a lot of lives if you decide to take that path, and every person, including myself, who has worked for years to keep the trust intact.”
Nick stood indicating the conversation was over. “Sanjana, you have a flight to catch, and we have plans for dinner.”
“Nikhil, you will have a tough time getting the trust dissolved. The first person to oppose it will be me,” Sanjana almost growled.
“On what basis? I get to dissolve it if I am the heir.”
“Sameera also needs to approve it as she is listed as an heir, too,” Sanjana challenged.
“Do you see Sameera opposing to the idea?” Nick sounded like the ruthless businessman he is, but I was surprised he was exercising it with family.<
br />
“I don’t see her agreeing to the plan either, Nikhil. I know your family is into business dealings but don’t look at this trust as a business entity,” Sanjana pleaded.
“It is nothing more than a…”
I could not let Nick continue and interrupted him. “Nick, say no more. We have more than a few things to discuss.”
“Sameera, please talk him out of the idea of dissolving the trust.” Sanjana looked at Nick.
I turned to look at Sanjana, every instinct in me telling me I should agree with her, but I knew better. If there was one person I trusted in this world, it was Nick, and nothing was more important than him. “Nick and I will get back to you in a day or two on the next steps. Thank you for bringing the journals to me… you should get back to your family.”
“Thanks, Sameera. Take care, Nikhil.” Sanjana’s voice held concern as we left her guest house.
My stomach was churning, and my head felt like someone was squeezing the insides, following the brief but intense conversation. Nick led me to the waiting SUV, and without another word, I held the box of journals to me and climbed into the back seat. Nick slid in next to me and waited to speak until the car left the guest-house compound.
“Sameera…”
“Nick, now is not the time. Can we talk when we get to the hotel?” I said looking away from him fighting back tears. I had no idea what I felt on the inside. It wasn’t happiness or relief of finally getting my hands on the journals but a more painful feeling. A feeling of pain and anger for what Nick did. I couldn’t figure out if it were the idea of dissolving the trust that angered me or the fact that he put me in a position where I could not oppose his plans.
I took a deep breath and realized the pain was turning to a deep sting of something I’ve never felt since Nick and I have been together. Betrayal. Was it a betrayal if he was not feeling as emotional as I felt about the trust and wanted to treat it like a business?
Nick would never betray my trust!
Chapter 6
The fifteen-minute car ride back to our hotel seemed like fifteen hours. I looked out of the window in silence while Nick held my hand in his. Was I supposed to be angry with him for what he wanted to do with the trust? I had no idea what the reason was behind his decision, but it didn’t feel like the right decision.
I stared out the window realizing I felt sad, sad about how the trust didn’t mean anything more than an asset to him. It was not wrong for someone to look at the trust as a business entity, but it was unacceptable for Nick.
I walked next to him as he led me back to our hotel suite. He didn’t try to start a conversation as if he knew what I was feeling.
“What do you want to eat, babe?”
“I’m not hungry,” I managed to say in a calm tone.
“Sameera, stop.” Nick’s words made me stop short before I stepped into the bathroom.
I stopped. I did not say anything but looked into his eyes. He held my gaze like he was trying to read my thoughts before taking a few steps closer to me. He stopped a foot away, his eyes boring into mine.
“I know you are mad, but I have my reasons.” His voice was firm.
“I get that, but what I don’t understand is why it was a surprise for me?” I asked.
He ran his fingers through his hair. “I know how invested you are in the family trust, but it’s time for you not to have that be a burden.”
“What?” I snapped.
“Don’t read too much into my decision, Sameera. I just don’t want this to be something you are constantly thinking about forever.”
“Nick… how is it your decision in this case? Why didn’t we talk about it before you broke the news to Sanjana?”
“You are too emotional about it to be objective about the trust.”
“I don’t believe this… how does this…” My voice trailed off when he shook his head.
“Do you see how this is consuming you and your energy? It’s best not to deal with things here in India.”
“Nick, what about all the welfare organizations that are supported by the trust?”
“Nothing will change, everything will be absorbed into the Bhatia Foundation. Only the assets that can be liquefied will be sold.”
“But… this is ancestral property… it’s the family’s… Rajaram’s legacy.”
“Sameera, this is where we need to be practical. There is no way we can manage the organization from California.”
“Sanjana can run it the way she is running it now.”
“I don’t like the way she has been running the trust. She is not qualified.”
“Don’t just make up excuses, Nick.” I was taken aback by the negativity in his voice.
“Sameera, this is how we are going to handle the operations of the trust unless you have a better plan.” His voice was shaky.
“I don’t have a plan, but I am not agreeing to do what you are suggesting we do with the trust.”
“There is no other choice, Sameera,” Nick declared.
“Why? Nick, is this why you showed up in India? To take care of business?” I snarled.
“Call it what you want, this is best for everyone.”
“No, it’s not. We are expected to continue the legacy of the man who formed the trust.”
“Rajaram’s goal for building the trust will not be disrupted.”
“But…”
“Sameera, this is a never-ending conversation. We need to move on.” Nick’s eyes were trained on my face.
I stood looking at him unable to defend my case. I felt helpless when the man I loved stood only a foot away from me.
“I’m sure you’re tired. I’ll have someone bring us dinner.” He walked over to where I stood to put his arms around me. His embrace comforted me and pained me at the same time.
“This is wrong. What you are suggesting is wrong. If you want to go ahead with what you want to do in spite of how I feel, you go ahead and do it.” I couldn’t look at him anymore. I turned away and stepped into the massive bathroom, a feeling of emptiness enveloping me as I shut the door behind me.
Almost thirty minutes later, I stepped out of the bathroom after a long shower. I stood under the warm water in hopes of calming the unrest in my head. I heard Nick’s voice from the living room. He was on the phone, and it sounded like he was on a work call, but I didn’t want to prolong our conversation.
I noticed a tray on the small dining table to one side of the suite. A small sticky note flapped on the cover, and it read, Remember, I love you. My lips curved up in spite of the thoughts that were circling in my mind.
I took the plate of food to the chair by the window and took a few bites and noticed the time. I knew my babies would still be asleep, but I couldn’t wait to see them. I stared at the phone wondering if I should call Nate to check. It was at that moment my phone beeped a message. It was a message from my mom. It was a picture of Nate with the babies sleeping next to her. Happy tears welled in my eyes, and all I could think about was to go back home. Nick was probably right to dissolve the trust so that we can get back to our life—our life with our children.
I spent the next thirty minutes talking to Nate and my mom and watching my girls play with their aunt and grandma on video conference. By the end the video call, I was convinced Nick was right, but I still could not get rid of the guilt that clung to my insides.
I walked over to the living area toward Nick’s voice. I stopped when I saw him intensely looking at his laptop screen as he spoke on the phone, his fingers pressed into his temple. I knew it was not the moment to interrupt him and turned on my heels and went back to the chair.
I took the cardboard box Sanjana had given me and placed in on my lap as I sat down. I reached for my headphones and placed them over my ears and settled in to read the journal of a man I had never met—my ancestor.
The box had three leather-bound books. I took one out of the box and placed the box back on the table next to me. I held the personal diary taking in the long-aw
aited moment. I didn’t know what the journals would tell me or what I was expecting to find out from them. I flipped open the journal and the words ‘Jassi’s Rajaram’ caught my eye. The first page had the stamp of a royal logo and Rajaram’s full name, but the two handwritten words on the very bottom of the page caught my eye.
Jassi’s Rajaram
I ran my shaky fingers over the fragile-looking page feeling overwhelmed. I took a deep breath and started reading. Some of the journal notes had dates on them, and the notes seemed to be from the time he had left his family to go back to his family.
Why did he leave his family? Why couldn’t he bring them with him?
I took a deep breath and carefully flipped through the pages of the journal. The journal notes were elaborated on some days, and others were a single line. The single lines were the ones that seemed odd. They were more like questions, and I could not figure out if Rajaram was asking himself the question or if that was for someone else to answer.
Why couldn’t I go along with you?
What was the most important war ever fought?
Survival of love without the presence of my love. Is that possible?
I was too tired to read too much into what seemed to be open-ended, and, in some cases, general questions. I flipped through the pages and smiled when I saw a partial drawing of a pendant—a pendant that looked very much like the one hanging on the chain wrapped around my waist and also on the one around Nick’s neck.
The image was hand-drawn like Rajaram wanted to remember how the pendant looked, the pendant he gifted to his son just before he left for good. Looking closely, I noticed the pendant had the same design as the royal logo etched on the first page. I wondered if the chain was a Bhatia heirloom, and the pendant was a Vaasireddy heirloom.
Sleep threatened to take over as I looked through the pages with one question running through my mind—the image of the handwritten words playing in front of my eyes.