“I’m not the wrong student.”
“I’m not saying you are. My point is that it takes a lot to get a teaching position here. Also, I didn’t graduate Princeton with two degrees at the age of twenty-three to have my career go down the toilet over an affair.”
Cool words, Mr. Tim. I’m sure I feel on top of the world now! She suppressed hurt feelings his words caused. “Believe me, I understand what you’re saying. I feel the same way.”
“It’s hard to stop doing something you’ve been doing for years. I lost my marriage…” Bringing up his crappy past life was painful to hear…and inappropriate. He sat on the corner of his desk. “The fact of the matter is this: My life is my life, Miss Miles, and…”
“You may call me Brandi.”
“Fine, but not in front of anyone. There are things that just can’t end overnight, Brandi, although they should.”
She had gathered something about an ex-wife from his conversation that night. But asking him what happened in that marriage could turn him off even more, causing him to think she was trying to get to him somehow. That she didn’t need.
“I believe you won’t cause a ruckus, Brandi, so don’t worry.” He sat back, and stared at her. “Both times you’ve entered my life when I least expected it. Had I only known the other night…”
“You wouldn’t have slept with me, right?”
“Right.”
“I wanted to be with you. Only that night you weren’t Timothy Polaris, were you?”
“On any given night, I have no idea who I am.”
“I know who you are now, and I really like him. I liked ‘Jacob’, too. He was sweet to me.”
“That’s the only way to behave around a woman.” She was definitely a woman to him, but a very unwelcome woman. At that very minute, his only thought was to take her back into his arms and finish what was cut all too short. Her eyes said that she was feeling the same way. He couldn’t do that to a student. He worked to give students his best, and that’s what he wanted to give her. Suddenly he felt he couldn’t live up to the job—suffering from want of her. He took her delicate hand into his. “Look, Brandi, we really shouldn’t discuss this anymore. I can’t be with you because relationships and I don’t work.”
“I can say this: It’ll be hard looking at you and realizing we can’t, shouldn’t, be together.”
“You’re sweet. I knew that the minute I met you.”
A knock at the door startled them, and they both turned see a beautiful Asian woman entering. Tim immediately released Brandi’s hand and stood, smiling. “Hey, Monica, I didn’t know you were in.” He turned to Brandi and introduced the slender woman to his troubling student.
“Monica, this is Miss Miles. She’s the recipient of this year’s Bryon Seymour Scholarship.”
Monica Shang extended her hand, looking curiously from Brandi to Tim. “So, you’re the one. Congratulations, that’s a prestigious scholarship.”
“Thank you, I worked hard.”
“I’m sure.” She returned to Tim. “I didn’t mean to break in on anything.”
“You didn’t.”
Brandi looked at him, wondering if everything they had discussed was just idle conversation.
Monica continued. “I’ll leave you two alone. But Tim, I need the contract for the spring trip to Niagara Falls. We’ll want to get to work on getting that trip under way early. You know how that fills up.”
“Sure. Five minutes. Miss Miles and I are about done.”
“Fine. It was nice to have met you, Miss Miles.” Then she left, turning so fast that her long dark hair bounced against her face.
Brandi’s attention returned to Tim. “Co-worker?”
“Yeah.”
“She likes you.”
“Not a chance.”
“She does. Take my word for it.”
“She should like me. I sign her extra-credit reports.”
“I don’t mean that way.”
He sat back down, feeling aggravated by her suggestion. “No. She’s engaged.”
“Whatever, but she likes you the way I do. Face it.” She collected her book bag. “I should go, you’ve still got lots to do, I’m sure. I’m glad we had this because I don’t need anything distracting me from my work here. But if anything could, it would be you.”
Tim just stared at her, not really knowing how to respond, except to issue his usual invitation to his students. “I’ll be around if you need any help with my class.”
“Good, because I know I’ll need help in your class. I’m great with writing, but bad with focus sometimes.”
“That happens.”
“Not for you. I know you’ve won literary awards awards. Maybe you could help me with my writing. I’m actually better in math, if you can believe that.”
“Anytime, Brandi; just call my office or come by.”
She left feeling better about the situation, but still sick over the fact that her loving Jacob was now a memory.
Tim relaxed, but did not feel good about their meeting. He still wanted her, but didn’t know why. He and relationships were done, but he also knew she was way more than a one-night stand; they now shared a past, an enjoyable one, and he appreciated her intelligence. He loved how she truly made him feel like a man in bed, but it was over. She was his student. Remembering how lovely she looked in that yellow tank-dress made him regret being her teacher.
He sat there thinking about his failed relationships, and about why they were painful to him. His ex-wife, Charlotte, gave him the most horrible four years of his life. His family life as a child had been a nonstop nightmare. This was usually brought on by thoughts of his brother, whom he hadn’t seen in years. This time Greg wasn’t the cause, although they’d been at odds forever it seemed. He still didn’t know why because what happened really wasn’t his or Greg’s fault. Opening that can of worms was something he avoided at all costs. All he knew was that if he didn’t keep his protective shell in, he would go mad in no time.
* * *
Brandi had just gotten behind the wheel of her Escort when she heard Eric calling her. She thought she had seen the last of him a month ago when he, in his fake-sincere voice, pleaded with her to return to him. Instead of taking off, as she was tempted to do, she decided to hear him out one last time, hoping he would have something honest and civil to say, though she knew that was a pipedream.
She stared up at him through the half rolled-up window, afraid to roll it all the way down. Knowing him, he was likely to try to reach inside and grab what was no longer his. “Eric, what do you want?”
He wiped his sweaty brow. “Man, running after you these days is some feat.”
“Again, what do you want with me, Eric?”
“Just to talk.”
“I know what your conversations are about lately: nothing! I frankly don’t have time for it today, and I’ve got to pick up the rest of my books. So, if you don’t mind…”
“I do mind. Brandi, I just want to talk.”
“I had a feeling.” She laid her backpack on the opposite seat. “Look, this hasn’t been a banner day for me, and I don’t need you making it any worse.”
“We can’t end like this. I’ve invested too much time in this relationship for you to leave it.”
“There it is again. It’s always about you, isn’t it? What about me? The only thing you invested in the relationship was laziness, infidelity, and lack of commitment—three things I can’t stand. Now you want to talk! I don’t think so, not this day, not any day. I’m gone.” She started to raise the window, but he grabbed it.
“Brandi, please.”
“Don’t Brandi, please, me. I’ve had it with you. Go and talk to Stacey Neal. Wasn’t she the one crawling all over you, practically in front of my face? I’ve been going through the motions pretending you and I were happy, and I have figured out why I stayed with you—to please everyone but myself. You and Stacey were stabbing me in the back the entire time. I was the stupid one still trying
to make it work. I must have looked like a complete fool to everyone. I sure feel like one now.”
“Will you stop for a minute? I’m sorry, okay? I knew I was wrong, but it just happened. You know how Stacey can be.”
“Don’t you dare blame her alone. You were a willing participant. She was my friend, Eric. How could you have done that to me?” She cranked the engine. “Leave me alone. Go on with your life as I have.”
“She’s the one who kept after me. I didn’t force her. Can’t you just give me another chance?”
“I’ve cursed her out already. Is it your turn now?” She turned up her CD player, hoping the singer’s voice would drown out his. She could still hear him talking as she drove off. His dull voice echoed in her head. “Brandi, please, let me make it up to you.”
How many times in the past had he screwed up, and she had forgiven him? Too many times, and this was it! Eric was actually the last man on her mind. What haunted her was not being able to be with a man she found absolutely incredible—Timothy Polaris. The time they were together, he treated her as no man ever had, but he could be the ruin of her scholastic ambitions. For the sake of a career, I have to give up the man I’ve dreamed about. That sucks big time! Tears ran down her cheek. Tim would never be hers; he wouldn’t allow it. Neither would society because of his race. Trusting another man after Eric would also be hard. It was mostly a color game, but the outcome seemed all black!
Even a cool shower couldn’t relax her, and an unusually hot autumn in New York didn’t help. She fanned her face, but couldn’t decide if her flushed appearance was due to Eric or to Tim. The latter seemed the likely cause. But he was clearly a no-no in her life.
Her father called her from downstairs. She knew he had been worrying all day at the police station about how his baby girl’s first day had gone. She didn’t know why she had moved back into her parent’s house from NYU’s dorm to save money for school in the first place. Her parents meant well, but her whole life was changing in ways they could never understand. They still saw her as a teen who was hog-wild over Eric, failing to see her as a grown-up.
“Up here, Dad.”
He poked his head through her bedroom door, a wondering expression on his face. Finally he said it. “Well?”
She had no appetite for talking about her less-than-perfect day at Madison. She took a deep breath. “Madison was okay. I know that’s what you’re getting at.”
“Just okay?”
“It was a drag, but I know it will get better. It just didn’t start out the way I thought it would.”
He walked over to her and began massaging her shoulders. “Madison is the only thing you’ve ever thought about as far as school is concerned.”
Now the names ‘Jacob’ and Timothy Polaris were the only things on her mind; he was the man who opened her eyes to the real world. Suddenly, the world wasn’t a pretty picture anymore.
To ease his mind, she spoke up and fixed the problem he had assumed she had with Madison. It was not the school it was the man there teaching English Comp 812. “Dad, Madison is fine. It’s the books. They’ll cost a fortune.”
He kissed her cheek like the princess he thought she was. “Is that all it is? Baby, we’ll get the books. Money is not a problem because your old man is police…”
“I know, Queens’ chief of police.”
“This Saturday we’ll make a day of it, just you and I. We’ll get the books, then go for your favorite, seafood pizza.”
“I’m dieting.”
“How can someone who wears a size six be on a diet?”
Even she had to smile at that one. “Okay, one slice, but that’s it.”
He walked to the door, pausing with a questioning look on his face.
His reflection was in her mirror. “Are you okay, Dad?”
“Yes, but I still need to talk to you about something.”
“Sure.”
“It’s about Eric.”
She retrieved the brush. “Dead subject. Your words normally enlighten me. Why now are you bringing him up? I would just as soon puke.”
“I know you would, and I sincerely understand. It took all the power I have not to kill him.”
“Then why are we still discussing him? You aren’t suggesting that he and I start seeing one another again, are you?”
He sat down on the bed. “Why would I want that for you? A man who sleeps around on my daughter has no place in my house or my life. But as you know, his father and I are good friends. Peter feels really bad about this, but he’s worried about his son, too.”
“What for? They know he’s a louse. They raised him.”
“True, but Peter sees what this break-up has done to Eric. He mopes around, hardly goes out. He’s basically depressed.”
“Then he should find comfort in the loving arms of Stacey Neal, as he has done many times before.”
“I understand, Brandi, but can you be civil to him?”
“Come on! Is this what you want?”
“I want you to do what you think is best. I told Peter that I would run it by you and see how you feel about it. Look, baby, I’m not asking you to do it if you don’t want to. He messed up royally, and the only reason his back is not broken is because his father begged me not to do it. Peter and I go way back, before you and Eric were even thought of. We don’t want strife between the families.”
She couldn’t help but smile. Strife between the families? “This sounds like The Godfather! I don’t know about this. He really took advantage of me, made me feel like a fool. I feel bad for him, but he messed up, not me. I like Mr. Fontaine, but this is a little too much to ask. I’ve gone on without Eric.”
“Is there anyone else?”
“There was, but he and I aren’t seeing each other anymore.”
“Who was he? Do we know him?”
“No. He’s white, and I know how you feel about me dating other races.”
“Brandi, now wait a minute…
“Isn’t that true? Had I brought him around here, you would have burned the house down to get rid of him. Besides, he’s not into relationships, or so he says.”
“Nothing is wrong with staying within your own race, Brandi. Is it so bad to want that?”
“No, but it is wrong to practice racism. I just can’t understand how you can work in that station with cops of all races knowing how you feel about them.”
“We work well together, and they don’t come into my house to date my daughter.”
His statement angered her, even though she had heard it before. “Dad, I love you, but that’s backwards.”
He wondered what was wrong with his baby girl. She had never bucked him before. “Brandi, who was this man you didn’t want to bring around here?”
“Just a guy; a guy who liked me and I liked him. It didn’t last long.” She knew they could never have a relationship even if she transferred back to NYU. He had made his point very clear.
Her father had not given up. “I only want what’s best for you. I don’t want you with Eric. Despite the fact that I would prefer you date black men, I know you will do whatever you want to do—you always did.” He kissed her forehead. “At least be civil to Eric when he’s around. Can you do that for me?”
“Okay, okay, whatever.” All along, she knew she and Eric were ‘not happening’. Same for her and Tim.
The following Tuesday, Eric showed up in Tim’s lecture hall and took a seat behind Brandi and Tiffany. He put his books on the floor and nudged Brandi. “Hope I haven’t missed too much of his lecture.”
She thought her eyes had deceived her. She caught herself staring at him. “Eric, what the heck are you doing here?”
“Can’t a guy get signed into class without someone getting suspicious?”
“Yeah, but not if it involves you.”
“I’ve got to get back in school, Brandi. I can’t sit in the house all day.”
Tiffany interrupted. “Shut up, for crying out loud! I can’t concentrate on dream boy w
ith you two going at it. You want him to put you out?” She glanced at Brandi. “Yes, he would put you out, too, if he had to. We have a test coming up and I plan to do well, both of you cool it.”
Realizing Tiffany was right, Brandi turned to Eric. “Since you are almost two weeks late, the least you can do is shut up and listen to the guy.”
Eric whispered in Brandi’s ear. “I’m sure you and Tiffany have cornered the market listening to him. I can see drool on your desks.”
“Do I need to move?”
“Sure, get closer to him. Isn’t that what you want, anyway?”
At that, she grabbed her books and moved down a few aisles. Tiffany looked at Eric. “Happy now?”
“Maybe.” His heart did not feel happy that Brandi moved, but he did not follow her. Instead, he glared at Tim, who seemed to have captivated everyone but him.
CHAPTER 3
Brandi and Tim exchanged glances during class, but nothing more. Every time she looked into his honey-colored eyes, she felt herself melting, remembering how they were together. They seemed like a perfect match. Yes, Tim had it together with a great career, looks, and probably a ton of money to go with that career. But he was still a man, and the men in her life were known to fabricate things. She wanted to trust him, but the Jacob issue was still that—an issue.
She had wanted many times to talk to him after class, discuss how she was hurt by his name pretense, even though she understood his reasons. But she didn’t. Things were already bad enough, no need to make matters worse. She had stayed clear of him, fearing that being close to him would send her into orbit. Each day she practically ran from his class to avoid confronting him. Friends noticed her unwillingness to hang around after class and questioned her about it. Her only response would be, “I hate being late to class, and you know my other courses are across campus.” It was a cop-out and they knew it. So did she, but it had to suffice for as long as her excuses sounded faintly plausible.
A Taste of Temptation (Love Spectrum Romance) Page 3