The minute Brandi heard Outkast being played on the radio, her head lifted. “The Way You Move” reminded her of Tim and how he moved with and on top of her that night. She watched his profile as he drove, liking how he moved his head to the music, loving the idea of waking up next to him. Her voice broke into the calm night air. “You like that song?”
“It has a great beat.”
“You don’t look like the Outkast kind.”
“Looks are deceiving, aren’t they? I didn’t mean to awaken you.”
“I like this song. I like everything by them.”
“So, I don’t look to be the Outkast type, huh? How is someone supposed to look who likes crazy songs?”
“Crazy! You’re the last person I know who looks crazy.”
“You should see me in the mornings after one of my drunken stupors.”
“Do you still do that?”
He fumbled for words then realized it was always best to admit to the truth. “Sometimes.”
“What makes you drink, other than what you told me before about your family?”
“Isn’t that enough?”
“Sure, but you didn’t drink a lot at The Entrapment.”
“I was trying to impress you.”
She turned the music down and moved closer to him. “You’ve impressed me since The Entrapment. I’m even more impressed now. I had no idea you had so much going for you. You’re top dog at Madison, Tim. You know everything.”
“Not everything.” Top dog, huh? How can I leave there now?
The way he sounded made her feel sorry for him. “What happened in your family? I see something in your eyes after lecture.”
“Way too many things to talk about. I never really knew my father. He was gone before I even knew him. My marriage to Charlotte was a joke.”
“How long were you married?”
“Five years. I had just graduated from Princeton when we married, and I’ve been divorced two years. Maybe I was just too immature.”
“I doubt that; any kids?”
“No. No kids allowed after…” He clammed up, not wanting to even discuss what led to the breakup. “Things happened that you wouldn’t understand. We shouldn’t be talking about this anyway.”
“I would like to. We are friends, right?
“No, Brandi, we’re professor and student. We both have to remember that.” He turned off the freeway. “We’re near my house. I would like to give you those notes, and the other papers on Twain.”
She knew why he had changed the subject. That student/teacher thing. She also knew he was tired from a long day, and decided not to push it until he wanted to come to her about it. “I think I’ll need those notes, because your papers are going to kill me.”
“Writing is something you’re good at, Brandi.”
“I know. I’m just lazy.”
He pulled into his driveway. She recognized the house immediately. They sat there a brief moment, silent. He didn’t want to invite her in; students and teachers weren’t to be seen at one another’s houses. They weren’t supposed to share anything but lecture time and nothing more.
Brandi wanted to go in and never come out. Tim spoke first. “Come on in? I don’t want to leave you out here alone. There has been some vandals running around. My trashcan was thrown into my back window and my garage door kicked in.”
“Did they damage the Mercedes?”
“Cracked the windshield.”
“Really? I’m sorry.”
“Anyway, that’s why I would rather you come in. I know you don’t feel comfortable; neither do I, but it’ll only be for a few minutes.”
“It’s all right, Tim. We can handle one another on an adult level, right?”
He pushed her door open. “Sure.” I hope I can.
CHAPTER 7
Everything looked as it did the night Brandi first went home with him. The house was a rather large ranch with two bedrooms, well-manicured lawn, neat. Brandi could hear his shepherd mix, Myrrh, barking in the background. She entered and tried not to think of anything else. She walked into the spacious living room and immediately went to his book collection. “May I look through these?”
“Help yourself. I’ll get the papers from the bedroom.”
“Don’t forget the notes.”
“I won’t.” He entered the bedroom, wishing he was carrying her in his arms to place her on his bed. He quickly shoved the idea aside, knowing it would never happen as long as they both were at Madison. He picked up the folder containing the papers—they weren’t inside. “What the hell.…” He took a quick look around the room. Nothing!
Brandi called to him, “Are you okay in there? You’re making quite a racket.”
“Just looking for something. Be out soon.”
“Tim, may I play your Michael Franks CD?”
“Help yourself. I can’t find the papers anyway; give me a minute to find them.”
As he searched the room, the phone rang and he grabbed the receiver on the second ring. It was his neighbor Anthony Haliburton from across the street. “Tim, been waiting for you to get home. Myrrh had been barking for almost two hours straight. Is everything okay over there?”
“Two hours?” He looked around the bedroom, then peeked through the shades. “Looks like everything’s fine. He’s been fed, so I don’t know what the problem is.”
“He was barking like a mad dog before.”
“I’ll check on him. Thanks, Anthony.”
Returning to the living room, he saw Brandi looking through his CD rack. One look at her in that form-fitting jogging suit almost made him forget why he had walked back in. He cleared his voice. “Myrrh’s having some kind of coronary out there. Let me just check on him. I hope to find the papers.”
“You can’t find them?”
“They’re around here. Want a Coke or something? It’s in the refrigerator.”
“Oh, no thanks. It’s after seven, and I should go home, shower and get going on that next paper.”
“So soon?”
It was hard for her to even be there. “I hate doing papers at the last minute, so I had better get cracking. It will be due before I know it.”
“Let me check on Myrrh, and then I’ll take you home.”
It was unlike Myrrh to bark like that unless something was wrong. He approached the barking dog and stroked his thick fur. “What’s up, boy? Why the racket?” He pulled a piece of paper from the dog’s mouth. There were more pieces on the grass. Reading it as best he could in the fading light, he realized it was part of one of the papers he wanted to give Brandi. What the heck is this doing out here? He looked at the other pieces on the grass, and realized they were more of the papers he had wanted to give Brandi. Myrrh hadn’t been in the house all day for sure, nor had he taken those papers from the house. There were no signs of forced entry on either door.
Brandi was standing near the back door when he re-entered. “Is he okay?”
“Yeah, he’s fine. Parts of the paper I wanted to give you were out there, and I have no idea how they got out there. Anyway, let me check a little more and get back to you. Would that be okay? I know you have to get home.”
“Don’t worry about it. I have all night to study.”
He couldn’t find the rest of the papers, but brought out the notes. He entered the living room just in time to see Brandi swaying to the music.
Their eyes met, and she immediately stopped dancing. Her brown cheeks reddened to his unspoken advances. “I got caught up in the moment. Michael Franks is one of my favorites.”
“I can tell. Don’t stop dancing on my account.”
“Did you find the papers?”
“I have no idea where they are. I’m really sorry. They were really good and would have been a lot of help to you. I have the books, though.”
Brandi walked towards him, moving so close to him that she could see the tiny laugh lines at the corners of his sexy mouth. Her voice weakened. “I truly appreciate the use of your notes
, Tim.”
He was nervous around her, nervous, hardly knowing what to say. “Those were good seminars, don’t you think?”
“Very enlightening. Thank you for inviting me.”
“It was my pleasure.”
She hugged him in gratitude. Her arms encircled his neck, feeling smooth skin, and his body heat filtering through to hers.
His arms tightened around her, pressing her into the tightness of his groin. He broke from her, looking into her eyes. When he spoke, his voice was husky, his words awkward. “I…uh, didn’t mean to hold you so tightly.”
“It’s okay. I hugged you first.”
“I should take you home; you have things to…”
“Yes.”
His fingers brushed against her lips. He felt her heat, her intensity. A picture of her sitting in his lecture hall flashed in his mind, and he dropped his arms to his sides. “Let’s get you out of here, Brandi.”
He stepped back not saying another word, just staring at her. Chest heaving, eyes searching the ground, he was a man in pain from wanting what he couldn’t have. “Let’s go before I lose my ever-loving mind!”
“Tim, I’m…I’m so sorry.”
“Forget it. It was my fault. I shouldn’t have brought you here.”
“It wasn’t just you. You know how I feel about you.”
“Please don’t feel that way about me, Brandi. It’ll never work.”
“I know. We could both end up losing it all.”
“I can’t have that, Brandi. I just can’t have it.” He saw tears in her eyes and almost reached for her hand. Touching her would start a chain reaction too hard to stop. He picked up the notes that slipped from her hand. “Don’t forget this.”
* * *
It was a long, silent ride from his Jamaica Estates home to hers in Brooklyn. Tim stopped the car in front of her house and leaned across her to open her door. Figuring what to say to her was agonizing, but he decided to just come out with something to try and ease her mind. “Brandi, don’t let what happened stop you from getting my help with your papers. You’re supposed to see me on Wednesday.”
“It won’t stop me, but I can’t ever go back to your house again. You do understand, don’t you?”
“It’ll be better that way. I’m glad you went to the seminar, though. It was good for you.”
She said good-bye and headed towards the house on the verge of tears.
Sounding desperate, he called to her: “Brandi…I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” She ran across the lawn and disappeared.
All he could do was sit there and give into his feelings. He could still feel her lips on his. But he knew that would not happen again unless one of them made a move. He drove off troubled. His interview with Columbia that following Monday was a definite yes; he had to get away from Madison, no matter how much he loved it there. The invitation to Columbia had been open before Brandi had resurfaced in his life.
He found himself at a bar downing another scotch. He dreaded going home to the place where he kissed her as he had never another woman. Too many fresh, unsettling memories to face. Selling his house briefly crossed his mind, but he realized that selling it would be too stupid a move even for his state of mind.
Sitting to his left at the bar was a young blonde ready to walk out with him the minute the minute he finished his drink. He kissed her on the lips, pretending they were Brandi’s, but there was no comparison. Tim set the glass down, took the woman’s hand, and left with her.
They headed for a mid-town motel he had frequented. He simply had no stomach for taking anyone to his house after having made love to Brandi there. He lay across the bed feeling numb and emotionless. The young woman spread eagle on top of him, kissing her way down from his moist forehead, teasing, kissing.
He usually loved women undressing him, but not this night! He looked at her face…and didn’t see Brandi. For a split second, he was ashamed, actually feeling as if he were cheating on Brandi. Yet he let the young woman stroke the front of his pants, slowly pulled the zipper down. He suddenly took her wrists, stopping her.
She smiled at him, caressing his stomach. “Come on, sugar. I know you’re not bashful; you’re too sexy for that.” She tried unbuttoning his shirt again, but he held her off.
“Stop. I can’t do this.” He moved to the side of the bed.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No. It’s not you; it’s me. I just can’t to this.”
“Do you have a wife?”
“Not anymore.”
“A lover?”
He ignored the question. “You shouldn’t be doing this with a man you just met. You’re too pretty for this. Go and find someone who can be a good man to you.” He fished for some money in his pocket. “I’m sorry I wasted your time. Don’t do this to yourself anymore.”
The woman eyed him cautiously, then reached for her clothes.
Once she was fully dressed, she put the money in her purse and called for a cab. He had left before the cab arrived, telling her to not open the door until she saw the cab.
On his way home his mind went back to the events of the day. He and Brandi had such a good time listening to the speakers, then he had to ruin everything by nearly losing control. Everything always came so hard for him, including simple things like being with a woman he knew he could love. He only hoped Brandi saw him as a man who’d had a weak moment, instead of someone she could never trust again.
After their brief but steamy encounter, Brandi wasn’t in the mood to do anything resembling work. She had rushed into the house practically in tears. All she had managed to do was shower and slide into her favorite nightgown. Later that evening, she lay across her bed trying to block out thoughts of Tim; nothing worked. Her Jill Scott CD only reminded her of him. Any love song brought him to mind. His kiss was so delicious, melting a hole in her. Remembering the way his body pressed against hers made her legs weak. Going into his house in the first place was a bad idea, feeling she would fall victim to her own emotions. Everything was so hard for her now that he had come back into her life. Making him part of her life even if she wasn’t attending Madison, would cause her problems—Why does he have to be white? She knew for sure that color was not an issue for her but it was for the people she cared about. They would make her life hard in ways Tim could never dream of, and she didn’t know if she was strong enough to handle the pressure that was sure to come.
Everything that happened that day gave her a splitting headache—enough to make her reconsider going back to NYU, scholarship or not! She put her pillow over her head to drown out all of the voices in her head telling her what to do, what not to do. All she wanted was her life to feel right for the first time in months.
A knock on her door startled her. At first she didn’t answer, figuring it was one of her parents wanting to know about her day. All she wanted was to sleep the rest of the night; she did not want to answer any questions.
Another knock. “Brandi!” It was her aggravating thirteen-year-old brother, Brian, who had made a point of telling Tim after the last home game that he wanted to play basketball for Madison. Right. But he and Tim hit it off really well. Since Tim had been a coach before, he was used to people, especially kids, telling him that they wanted to try out. She put the pillow back over her head.
Brian knocked again. “Brandi, wake the heck up! I want some DVDs.”
She didn’t want to answer him, but knew he would stay there like a dope until he got an answer. “Go away, Brian. I’m sleeping.”
“This early? Get real and open the door. I want Austin Powers. I know you think he’s groovy, baby.”
“Shut up, Brian. Or should I say, Mini Me?”
“You want me to get Dad?”
She jumped from the bed, grabbed the movie and flung the door open. “Fine, anything to shut you up. Can I be alone now?”
He stared at her weary face. “What’s your deal?”
“Killing you would be an idea. I’m ti
red. Okay?”
“Yeah, tired of being a hood-rat.”
“That’s your word for the week, huh? Those hood friends of yours may very well have you killed one day—by me. Now, get out of here. Go aggravate the dog, if she is not already tired of you.”
“Whateverrr.”
Sometimes she hated Brian, but at least he had taken her mind from Tim.
CHAPTER 8
Timothy Polaris walking out of the administrative offices at Columbia University was about the last thing Tiffany expected to see that morning. She had been there to get her transcripts from the year before. She ran towards him, calling to him like a madwoman. “Dr. Polaris, wait!”
He turned around and smiled into her pretty face. “Miss Jackson? I didn’t expect to see you. What are you doing here?”
“I took a few summer classes last year and had to get my transcripts. I’m being considered for next year’s Norton award, remember?”
“Yes, I remember, and that’s great. I always knew you could do it. Your grades are excellent, at least in my class. Should be no problem.”
“I hope not. I worked my butt off. I remember what Brandi went through to get hers.” She chose her words carefully: “Dr. Polaris. I had planned to come to see you soon anyway. I was wondering, well…would you write me a letter of recommendation?”
“Be glad to. When do you need it?”
“Yesterday, if that makes any sense. I’ll be glad to come by your office and pick it up.”
A Taste of Temptation (Love Spectrum Romance) Page 8