by Clara Nipper
The myths and legends attached to the mighty Mississippi were too much for me to get my mind around when I saw it. I just walked to the edge and smiled at the water.
Tourists passed behind me, people in the throes of drunken merriment. If attending a convention they were free of the spouse, the family, and for a time, the job. Drinking in the Quarter of the Crescent City gave people visions that they were cowboys and rock stars and supermodels and all dangerous.
Down an alley, I glimpsed a faint light. Ellis had specifically warned me against alleys, but that just made it more exciting. I boxed the air a couple of times, doing the quick step. “I can take care of myself,” I declared in a whisper.
“Hey, handsome, need a date?” A long maple drink of water emerged smiling from the shadows wearing only stiletto heels and a g-string. I grinned my widest.
“Mmm mmm mmm, I do need a date, baby, look at you. But I never pay for my dates.”
The woman stopped, her smile dropping. “Then you can fuck yourself.” Faint tittering sounded from the blackness.
“That’s right,” a woman called as the hooker switched back toward the shadows.
“Listen, honey.” I spread my arms wide. “You don’t want me to pay you anyway.”
The woman turned and scowled at me over her bare shoulder. “Come again?”
“I’m a jasper and I would turn you inside out.” I tilted my head and rocked on my feet. Hooting from the shadows.
The hooker approached me and pointed with a bright, dagger-nailed finger. “Do you have money? ’Cause that’s all my job is. I don’t care what you are or what you think you would do. It’s all the same to me, know what I’m saying?” The woman sniffed.
I bowed my head, conceding the point. The woman put her hands on her naked hips. “Now, do you want a date?”
“No, baby, I’m just on my way somewhere. I never pay.”
“Then why are you talking to me?”
“Why are all of you hiding here in the dark?” I squinted in the direction of the laughter.
“We’re on a work slow-down. Labor negotiations.” The woman smiled. Titters from the dark.
I strode to her, grabbed her hand, and kissed it. “Good luck, baby.”
“That will be ten bucks.” The woman snatched her hand back and shook her breasts.
I laughed and handed her a bill. Surprised, she took it, held it over her head, and danced back to her colleagues. I headed alone down a wide, dark alley toward the light.
Halfway down, a bar revealed itself. There were large storefront windows and inside, leather banquettes and dim lighting and a large gleaming bar. A plump, choice blonde perched on a stool sipping something dark while chatting with the bartender. The small, wooden sign outside said THE SNOOTY FOX.
“Just the kind of woman I’m looking for,” I said and went inside.
I sat on the stool next to the blonde. “Gin and tonic.”
“Sorry, mate, this is a brew pub. Fancy an ale? How about a Guinness?” the bartender replied.
“What’s she having?”
“Mead,” the woman answered, her familiar voice curling like hot smoke.
“One of those. Large,” I said, then digging in my pockets, turned to face Julia. I flipped the business card on to the bar and smiled. Julia’s slightly crossed eyes gleamed. I thought again—Siamese cat. I affected a soft falsetto. “You’ve got to stop following me or I’ll tell Ellis!”
“How did you know I would be here?”
“Get over it. I didn’t. I’m out looking for action.”
“And you think you’ve found it with me?” Julia asked incredulously with a withering sneer. She was wearing a god-awful power of jewelry.
“You’re still sitting here, aren’t you?” I said, laughing at Julia’s haughtiness. The glass of mead came and I raised it to my mouth, very aware of Julia watching with her crossed Siamese eyes. I took a large mouthful and almost choked. The drink was room temperature, thick, dark, bitter, and sour, but also yeasty and sharp. I swallowed, my eyes watering, and shook my head. Julia giggled.
“That shit is nasty,” I said and then grinned. “But good.” I drank again. “Just like you, baby.” I licked away my mustache.
“Check!” Julia called, then to me, “I don’t know how you dare to face me.”
I put money on the bar for both of us and I gulped half the drink, breathing heavily. I tapped the business card with my forefinger. “That’s how, dumplin’.”
Julia reached to retrieve the business card but my finger pressed it on the bar.
“That was just…that was only…that wasn’t…” Julia shrugged.
“I know,” I said, taking Julia’s arm and helping her off the stool. “Where do you want to go?” I walked her toward the door.
“St. Louis.”
“What?”
“Thanks, guvnor. See you next time, Julie-pie!” the bartender called and Julia waved at him.
On the sidewalk, I noticed again how the streets were identified by their names in tile set into the concrete. Magazine, Napoleon, Tchoupitoulas, Bourbon, Chartres, Dauphine, Canal, Annunciation.
Julia removed her keys from her poufy little bag. “It’s not far, I’ll drive.”
I checked myself, adjusting slightly and following Julia around the corner.
Once in her Jaguar, I asked, “Why do you go to that bar?”
Julia started driving. “Because it’s in the Quarter, the tourists don’t know about it, and I get to meet the most interesting people.”
“So you’re a regular.”
“No, I’m highly irregular.”
I was a little woozy from the drink and laughed myself breathless. When I calmed, I sank into the leather seat, resting my head and closing my eyes.
“Don’t fall asleep on me,” Julia said.
“I’m not,” I said dreamily. “Nice ride.”
“I hope so.” Julia grabbed my crotch.
I was too relaxed and experienced to be shocked, so I patted Julia’s hand and held it there. “See? I’m all ready for you, bitch.” Julia pursed her lips and pulled her hand away to shift.
“Come on, get out,” Julia said as she turned off the car.
I opened my eyes. We were parked at a cemetery. “What the hell?”
“St. Louis. We’re here.” Julia grabbed her purse and marched to the entrance.
“You crazy, baby? What the hell am I supposed to do in there?”
“Same thing you do everywhere else. But extra good tonight.”
My crotch throbbed. It always overrode my decisions in my head. Graveyard? Mighty fine. I leaped out and followed Julia, slowing my long stride because high heels caused the Siamese cat to mince steps. The darkness was palpable. I squinted to read the names off the ornate crypts. Le Doq, Chevalier, Mendez, Gonzalez, Taliaferro. The cemetery was an enormous suburbia of tiny stone homes for the dead. Each had a little yard, a front door, windows, and a cross or an angel on top.
“How far are we going?” I asked, my cock drooping a little bit as we walked farther from the gates.
“Not much farther.” Julia smiled at me, the brilliant moonlight making her teeth look like fangs. Our footsteps echoed down the little sidewalks, through the silent marble neighborhoods. My skin began to crawl. We saw another couple disappear around a corner. I suddenly knew what being a lab rat in a maze was like. Julia led me deeper and deeper, turning, walking. The quiet was spooky.
I grabbed Julia and shoved her against the nearest tomb. “I need you now, baby.” I nuzzled behind Julia’s ear, getting poked by her gaudy earrings and scraped by her necklace. I had to get this going or leave this creepy place at a run. Julia gasped and gurgled laughter. She shoved me away.
“Not yet, sweetie.” Julia took my hand and we stumbled back onto the walk, continuing. “New Orleans is below sea level, did you know that?” she asked as she pulled me along.
“That right?” I watched for bats and vampires.
“Yeah, that’s why t
he graveyard is set up like this. We can’t bury anybody in the ground, they just float to the surface. Funny, huh?”
“Yeah.” I listened for footsteps.
“So you buy six inches of space in a mass tomb. They lay your body inside, carve your name on it, give you a few months, and when you’re decayed, they press your bones into the back and lay another body in and so on until it’s full. ’Course, if you have money, you don’t have to share.”
“Uh-huh.” I was jumpy, my skin prickly.
At last, Julia stopped and lay on her back on a large, flat concrete plot with dozens of names engraved. I tried not to think of the collections of skeletons beneath.
“Here we are, stud.” Julia raised her skirt and spread her legs. I grinned at what I saw. Even in the shadows I could make out a naked muff and plump, stocking-clad thighs.
“Oh, yes, you nasty whore.” I ran my hands down Julia’s thighs, pinching and slapping.
“Call me Blondie,” Julia breathed.
I shrugged. “Okay, Blondie.” I enjoyed seeing Julia writhe on the tomb, her legs spread wide, aching for me to plunder. I snapped on rubber gloves and caressed Julia’s cunt to see if I needed to add lube, a sample size of which I always carried along with my latex goods. Julia was swollen and wet so I shoved my fingers inside her pussy. I groaned as her cunt sucked me in. Julia undulated, straining to gulp more of me deeper.
“Get in my purse,” she grunted, thrashing on my fist.
“Why? What do you want with that right now?” I laid on top of her, staring into her face, but not kissing her and continually stroking her cunt by clenching and unclenching my fist. With my free hand, I covered her turgid clit with a dam, bent down, and sucked it.
“Oh, oh, oh, oh!” Julia’s eyes clamped shut and she tried to shove me off. “No. Not yet. Not yet!”
I stopped and Julia opened her eyes. “Get the knife out of my purse and put it against my throat.”
I was too aroused to care what this crazy bitch wanted so I did as she asked. I removed my hand slowly and carefully fumbled in her purse until I found a large folded knife. I unfolded it and placed it close to her neck. Being aggressive and promiscuous, I had seen and done it all. It was against my principles to deny a hot pussy anything she desired.
“All right, Blondie, you bitch. You’re gonna get fucked now.” I fell on her, pinning her to the tomb and rubbing my large black cock on her clit.
“No, please, don’t!”
I pulled away. No means no.
“You silly idiot, come here and fuck me right. If I want you to stop, I’ll say, ‘acquit.’ Come on, come on.” Julia stretched her legs high in the air. She fondled her cunt, spreading her lips. Furtive footsteps crunched by, everyone ignoring each other.
I got a condom out of my pocket. “Here, bitch, put this on me and hurry.”
Julia sat up, smiling and obedient. “God, you are so sexy,” she said, staring up at me and I just glared at her. She rolled the condom down slowly and then lay back, raising her knees to entice me. “You have that Greek god look like he does.”
“Forget that, Blondie, roll over and get on all fours.”
Julia’s eyes widened. “But…”
I grasped a fistful of her hair and held the knife to her face. “Do it.”
Julia smiled and complied.
“Now raise that skirt.”
Julia did as she was told, her delectable, giant beach ball behind glowing. I approached, my cock standing stiffly. I rubbed the head on the wet entrance of her cunt.
“No, no, no!” Julia pressed against my cock. I deftly avoided her.
“Now grab your ankles,” I ordered.
This wasn’t part of the game. “What? Do you know how old I am, you jerk? I can’t do that. I’m already on my knees, now just do it.”
I swatted Julia’s ass. The smack echoed off the headstones. Julia jumped and sucked air. I held the knife where Julia could see it. “What did you say, Blondie? I know I didn’t hear you say that.” Julia’s eyes widened. I smiled.
“You want your jungle cowboy to service you? Well, he needs you to grab your ankles before you get his prick.”
Julia nodded, mute. She struggled to slide her arms along her legs toward her feet. She gasped and grunted.
I stepped close, grabbed the delicious meringue-mountain hips, and slammed my dildo in to the hilt. Julia raised her head and bellowed. I slid in and out, varying the speed and depth, drawing out our pleasure. Several times, Julia was on the brink and I stopped completely. The first time, she was pleased and played along. Then I spooned her and stroked her throbbing clit as I thrust into her dripping pussy. The second time, she got snarly and tried to force me to continue. When I wouldn’t, she rubbed her own clit, trying to come. I stopped that by spanking her hard until she lay still. Then I was gentle and slow, building, building, building until I felt her ass riding my cock hard and her breath quickening. I stopped.
“Oh!” Julia whimpered. “Please? Please let me come. Please, please, please. I need it so bad. I need to come on you. Please.”
“Shut up.”
Julia was quiet, her head down, her breathing muffled by pillows of hair, her ass naked, red and wet, high in the breeze. Her hands lay helplessly next to her calves. She was a delicious triangle.
“Turn over.”
Julia scrambled to obey. My mouth twisted. I wondered if she had ever moved that fast for anybody in her life.
“Spread your legs for me. Open up your pussy.”
She did as she was told, panting in eagerness. I retrieved the abandoned dental dam and dropped it on my shoe so I wouldn’t forget to throw it away. I put the penis tip to Julia’s hungry slit.
“What’s my name?” I asked.
“Killer!” she cried.
“No, wrong. What’s my name?”
Julia looked at me standing there, ready. “Nora. Nora Delaney,” she answered rapidly.
“Good girl!” I said, sliding all the way in.
She trembled and shrieked. I held her ankles and stroked her long and sweet. My hips swiveled and dipped. Julia twitched and groaned. I was close too. I let go of one leg and picked up the knife and sliced open her blouse. The cloth cut cleanly.
“Show me,” I barked. Julia jerked her bra up to her neck, her heavy breasts plopping out. I fell on them, licking and biting greedily. Overwhelmed, Julia just lay there, being fucked and sucked, her arms akimbo. “Oh, yes,” I moaned, quickening my pace.
“Oh, yes, oh, God,” she cried.
“Yes, yes, yes!” I said as I came, plunging fiercely into Julia, who finally exploded into screams so loud I had to smother her voice with my rubber-gloved hand. “Shut up, shut up!” I growled as I held Julia’s mouth but continued to fuck her. Oblivious, she shook and bucked, her eyes screwed shut. Her hands clawed the air, scraped the concrete, and finally scratched my arms, bringing threads of blood.
At last, when Julia was calm, I looked into her face to make sure she was all there and okay. Her crossed eyes were soft and bright. Satisfied, I withdrew very slowly, removed the condom and glove, and stuffed them with the dam into my pocket. Then I helped Julia sit up and straighten her clothes.
“Goddamn,” she whispered.
“Get me a cigarette, baby,” I said, sitting close. Julia fumbled in her bag, lit one, and with shaking hands, passed it. I pulled the smoke into every crevice of my brain as if it would knock me out.
“That was phenomenal.” Julia’s voice was small and meek. “I’ve never—”
“Shut up,” I said. “Just all in a day’s work. Don’t talk about it.” I looked at this voluptuous virago so forceful and intimidating in life, willing to lick my boots for a good fuck. Same old story. I blew the smoke out with a sigh. “And don’t start following me around and thinking this means something, you got it? Your money’s on the dresser, cunt.”
Julia smiled, her face naked and radiant. She nodded happily as if my stern words were a flirty marriage proposal instead of a
rejection.
“No, I mean it. I don’t hook up. Ever.” Flashes of The Redhead. I shook my head to dispel the vision. “So you need to know this.”
“Yes, sir.” Julia grinned, clutching my arm. I pulled away, dragging deep on my cigarette.
Another deaf femme. I gave them the true word and they didn’t hear it even as I said it. I gave thanks again that I couldn’t knock boots and become a baby daddy. I stared at the stars and then at my feet, wondering at the situation I had gotten myself into again. I needed Julia only long enough to walk me back to the graveyard gate. I fell back on the tomb. Maybe I was too old for this dogging around, breaking hearts. Here was Julia, married and in her forties and ready to tattoo me as hers, for good. I was determined to break that dream right now. I touched Julia’s back. “Listen.”
Julia fell back with me. “Shh, don’t talk.”
I rolled my eyes but gave up. Why can’t sex be clean and simple? Why can’t they all be like me and see lust and fucking as just that and have a great time? I flicked my cigarette butt away in an arc where it landed in a tiny explosion of sparks on the sidewalk.
“Why do you come here?” I asked.
“I go where I won’t see anyone I know,” she answered, her voice husky. Then she was seized by a fit of laughter. I watched her, suddenly chilled. Her voice rang out like a voodoo priestess, a ghoul, chapping my ears and skin. When she settled, I pulled her up.
“Let’s book,” I said.
Julia hugged me, clinging too long. I pushed her away and held her chin in my fingers and stared into her cat’s eyes.
“Can you remember what I just told you?”
“Yes, but you don’t seem to take me into account at all, and that won’t do.”
I gestured to the tomb. “I just took you into account. There’s nothing more.”
Julia snaked herself around me again, grinning. “There’s so much more. I am dangerous to mess with. Best you come along and do as I say.”
It was my turn to burst into laughter. I doubled over, resting my elbows on my knees. As Julia stared at me, her mouth shrank to thin and hard. As soon as I stood up to my full majestic height, Julia pasted on a smile.