by Alison Mello
“I’ve never said I don’t like him, Zoey. It’s just…it’s complicated.”
I couldn’t tell her just how complicated it was or why. If I did, I’d end up losing my best friend and I’d never see Reid again either. At that moment, I didn’t know which would hurt more.
“Can you just fake a smile? For me?” she asked as she threw her hands up in the air in irritation.
Looking at my best friend, I saw the girl I loved. Not the queen bee she’d been at school, not the self-absorbed asshole she acted like on the outside at times. No, I saw the sweet girl that she was beneath her icy exterior. Faking a smile, I opened my car door and hopped out before she could say another word. That was another reason I had to stop thinking about Reid in any other way than my best friend’s fiancé. She was actually a nice girl at heart. Sure, that was quite far beneath the surface most days, but it was why we became friends in the first place.
“Hey! Leave her alone!”
I heard the words but didn’t see the person who spoke them, not at first. The group of girls stood around me, blocking my view of anything beyond their makeup-caked faces.
“I said leave her alone,” the voice came again, only this time it was accompanied by an arm, then a body pushing its way in between the girls gathered around me.
“She’s fresh meat,” one of the girls replied.
“Is that how you treat everyone when you first meet them, Nina? No wonder you have cronies, not friends. Get the hell out of here and don’t bother her again, you hear me?”
An arm came around my shoulders and that was when the first tear fell, followed by countless more.
“Hey, let’s get you cleaned up,” the small brunette said as she pulled me from where I sat on the floor.
“Mmm-kay,” I mumbled as I tried to dry the tears with the sleeve of my school jumper.
“Those girls won’t bother you again. Not if they know what’s good for them. My name’s Zoey, what’s yours?
“Kara.”
I couldn’t say anything else. I was too shell-shocked that someone was actually being nice to me. After a week as the new girl at school, I was used to being called names and shoved around. The girls that had just been giving me a hard time weren’t the first, and no doubt they wouldn’t be the last.
“Well, Kara, it’s nice to meet you. Believe it or not, we’re not all like those bitches.”
Sure, Zoey had turned out not to be like all those bitches. She was worse. She didn’t pick on anyone, she wasn’t an outright bully. But that didn’t mean she didn’t belittle people and make them feel like crap. When we first met, she was super cool. She gave me a tour of the school and walked with me to classes. She introduced me to her friends and her boyfriend Adam. They were all really nice to me, I couldn’t fault them for that. But then as high school had gone on, Zoey had climbed the ladder to queen bee, and everyone kowtowed to her. I hated how she had changed, but I still saw the kind-hearted girl she was on the inside.
“Hello? Earth to Kara!”
My head snapped in the direction of my best friend.
“Sorry, my head was in the clouds.”
“Typical. Let’s get going. We have so much to do today,” Zoey chided.
I let her drag me off to the first shop on her agenda. Trust Zoey to have a list of places to visit as well as a time we should get in and out by.
***
It was two p.m. by the time we stopped for lunch. We had just sat down with a drink when I saw a smile light Zoey’s face. A guy came over to speak to her and it seemed she knew him well, as they had a hushed conversation that I only caught snippets of. I thought it was rude to whisper, especially in company, but then what would I know? I took in the look on Zoey’s face and wondered why she never seemed to smile like that anymore. I chalked it up to the stresses of planning a wedding, but it set me wondering if there was anything else on her mind.
“Sorry, that was an old college friend. I haven’t seen him in ages,” Zoey said as she sipped at her glass of prosecco.
“Not a problem. He could have got a drink and joined us.”
“He was on his way back to work when he saw me sat here,” she replied as she fiddled with the charm bracelet I’d bought her for her eighteenth birthday.
“Oh, okay. How many more shops are we going to traipse round today?”
“You don’t have to sound so snippy about it. You’re my best friend and bridesmaid, you should be happily dragging me along to these shops, never mind the other way round.”
“Sorry, Zoey, you know me, never been a fan of clothes shopping at the best of times.”
I really hated to be a drag, but I didn’t know how much more shopping I could take. My stress levels had elevated even more, considering the disastrous dresses I’d tried on. Okay, so they hadn’t been pink taffeta, but they weren’t what I’d call fashionable, either.
***
Home. Never had I been so happy to see the sight of those four walls. The dress had been decided on, much to my chagrin. I hadn’t liked any of the dresses very much, but thankfully, we’d been able to agree on ‘the one’ even though I still wasn’t comfortable with the material, the colour, or the length. The style was about all I’d been able to say I liked about it. Ideally, it would have been a good two inches shorter, after all, what was the point in the spray tan Zoey was making me have done if I couldn’t show off my legs? It wasn’t like anybody would notice it anywhere else. My arms were being covered by some hideous thing Zoey had referred to as a bolero. She said it was to hide my ‘hideous tattoos.’ That was one thing Zoey had never liked, ink. Not until she’d met Reid and she’d fallen for him regardless of his tattooed biceps. But somehow she still managed to hate my tattoos. Probably because she was meant to be prim and proper and Reid’s tattoos were always covered up if they went to visit her parents. She wouldn’t let them see that he had ink. But I was broken, defective, so it was okay for them to see mine. Well, except for on her wedding day, that is.
Chapter One
Kara
Six Months Later…
“Oooh yeah! Harder…faster…right there, that’s the spot.”
Just another day in our house. I grabbed my laptop and headphones, taking a mug of steaming coffee outside to the small back garden. I sat on our patio and chose a Spotify playlist to suit my mood. I was pissed off and it was only getting worse. I was right that sharing a house with Zoey and the man in her life would be bad, but I hadn’t realised it would be like this. Your best friend’s sex noises are hardly the alarm clock you desire waking up to every morning, nor are they the lullaby you want to drift off to sleep to. Unfortunately for me, our house had paper-thin walls, and if this didn’t stop soon, I would have to find a new place to live. I’d thought she’d be impossible to live with once she was having regular sex, but this is different; it’s regular sex but with different men, and I’m finding it impossible to keep track of all their names. If she’d just married Reid like she was supposed to, I wouldn’t have to wake up to see a different guy in a half-undressed state every few days. But then, I’m glad she didn’t marry Reid, considering the man I have feelings for would then be my best friend’s husband.
“Hey,” Zoey seemed to be saying, judging by what little lip-reading I knew. She was waving from our patio door, wearing nothing but a t-shirt that was likely his, not her own.
I pulled off my headphones and looked up at her.
“I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping after I freshen up. We haven’t done something together in aaaaages,” she drew out the word to emphasize her point.
The reason we hadn’t been shopping or done anything together in ages is the fact that she had either been out partying, or she’d been confined to that bedroom—judging by the noises, you’d think she’d got a zoo in there—and so she hadn’t made any time for me recently. Which was okay with me, if I was being perfectly honest.
“Nah, I have coursework to catch up on,” I said as I nodded at my laptop. I did
n’t have a shred of coursework, I’d been to the library so much recently they should have started charging me rent. With the constant distractions at home, I desired the absolute silence of the library.
“Oh,” she sounded disappointed.
“Sorry, maybe when I’ve had chance to hand this piece in by the deadline…” I trailed off, hoping she’d be placated.
“It’s just, well…I miss my best friend, Kara. I know we haven’t spent any time together and I want to rectify that. Please?” She sounded hopeful, and I didn’t want to burst her bubble. If I did, it would be to my detriment as well as hers because she’d only go out and hook up with some random stranger like she had been doing the last several months.
“Okay,” I agreed, taking pity on her and hoping to get a night off from the noises that haunt me.
I went inside and grabbed a towel from the linen cupboard.
“I’ll just take a quick shower while you say goodbye to whatshisface from last night.”
I smiled and went upstairs, taking them two at a time.
“Derek!” she shouted up the stairs behind me. “And he’s already gone.”
I should have known. They were never around long enough for coffee the next morning. Not that I wanted them to be, but I was getting a bit fed up with random men coming in and out of what was partly my house, my home, where I should feel most comfortable. But just recently, I’d found more solace in the walls of the local library because of their rule about silence and spending time with a friend who was taking the same course I was.
I took my shower and went to my room to pick out what to wear. I was hardly a girly girl, but whenever I was out with Zoey, she didn’t like me ‘showing her up,’ as she had so kindly put it. I only owned any girly clothes because she made me. She took me shopping and found me dresses that I wouldn’t normally be caught dead in. She also liked me to wear those horrible, crippling pointy-toed high heels which made my feet all kinds of sore. Left to my own devices, I’d go out in jeans and a t-shirt with a pair of Converse or Doc Martens. But Zoey would only make a scene and make me go back to my room and change if I went downstairs in anything like that now. So I dressed in a light blue maxi-dress with a pair of silver sandals. I’d conceded to wearing sandals occasionally as long as they were flat, not a heel in sight.
Walking into the lounge, Zoey rolled her eyes when she saw my outfit. I wondered what the hell I’d done wrong now.
“Flat shoes aren’t meant to be worn with a maxi-dress. You should wear wedges, or at least a pair of sling-back kitten heels.”
“If we’re going shopping, I’m going to be on my feet. The Louboutins would kill me with the height of the heel and the Blahniks would cripple me with their pointy toes. They are like the devil in shoe form.”
Zoey sighed and then looked over the dress and the over-sized bag I had decided to pair with it.
“Okay. I concede. You can wear flats because there’ll be plenty of walking in the foreseeable future. I have my mind set on a lot of retail therapy.”
I sighed. I wasn’t going to have fun today. I was going to be dragged round as many shops as she could possibly fit into one day. Retail therapy was her second favourite form of blowing off steam, casual hook-ups being her first.
***
I was right. Shopping had been a form of torture. I was sure it could be used to make anyone confess their crimes just to get the person dragging them round to get off their case. Zoey had taken me into only the best designer shops. She loved labels. That’s another thing we differed on. I didn’t care if my clothes were by some top named designer, if they came from second-hand shops, or anywhere between the two. I’d found some of my favourite music tees in second-hand shops. Music was a passion of mine and I loved finding vintage band t-shirts. It didn’t matter if they were in mint condition or if they had the odd little hole in, that was just a sign that the person before me had loved it. Zoey would screw any time I wore one. I do it on purpose sometimes, but I’m only ever allowed to dress like that around the house or if I’m out without her.
You’d think I’d hate dressing to please her. You’d think I’d just tell her to mind her own business and dress how I was comfortable. But after Reid broke off their engagement and moved out of town, I didn’t want to get on the wrong side of her. She was like a woman possessed. If she wasn’t shopping, she was in a bar somewhere, and if she wasn’t doing either of those things, she was either back at the house of that night’s hook-up or he was here in her room. Other than that, she could be found crying in the shower or ranting about how he shouldn’t have been the one to break it off. Zoey was of the belief that if anyone had broken it off, it should have been her, and she spent hours going from one end of the spectrum to the other. She’d be miserable and crying her eyes out or she’d be angry and spitting fire. I got caught in the crossfire many times, so I’d been learning to tread carefully and not do anything to piss her off.
Shopping was a nightmare because my feet felt like they were on fire and because Zoey had bought me yet more dresses and ‘appropriate attire.’ She’d spent far more than she should, but wouldn’t be told no. She put it all on her plastic, which was her way of just dealing with it later.
I was of a mind to phone her parents and tell them just how this break-up was making her act, but that would make me a grass and that is one thing I have never been.
***
A couple of hours later, Zoey was watching a film with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie. I was tidying up in the kitchen. She could hardly be bothered to clean up after herself. The cutlery and crockery were all just discarded as though some housework fairy would come along and do it all for her. Which I guess, was true, although I was hardly a fairy. Just a fed-up best friend who didn’t like living in a tip. Normally it was Zoey who was the OCD freak, a speck of dust and she was on it like it was a stain on her soul or something. But the last six months had seen her turn into more of a slob. Reid leaving changed her in more than one way. In fact, I was surprised to see her in front of the television instead of having to hear her sex noises. Maybe she was taking the night off. I could only hope. Maybe I’d get a good night’s sleep for once. I was sick of having to take Nytol and using ear plugs, topped off with a pillow over my head.
After tidying the kitchen, I went to check on Zoey. I found her asleep on the couch, so I grabbed the light blanket we kept draped over the back of it and pulled it up to her chin. I turned off the television and crept out of the room. I made my way to my bedroom and got ready for bed. Out of curiosity, I pulled out my Mac and logged into Facebook. I checked Reid’s profile, but it didn’t say anything of any particular interest. His relationship status still said single and there were no photos of him with someone else. So why had he told Zoey there was someone else and he wasn’t being fair to either of them by continuing their relationship?
Chapter Two
Kara
I found Zoey where I’d left her on the couch. I made us both a cup of coffee before my shift at the bookstore. I was working part-time during the day and doing an adult education course two nights a week. I wanted more for myself. Sure, working around books all day was great. We sold vintage books as well as brand new ones. The smell that permeated the air was one of my favourites. But if anything, I wanted to own my own shop, not work for someone else. My boss was great, but I’d always wanted to work for myself. I’d been given an inheritance from an aunt that had died a couple of years ago and I still hadn’t spent it. I’d rather split the rent with Zoey for the house, and then when everything was in place, I’d buy a place to set up my own bookstore. I wanted to do more than just sell books. I wanted a room where mothers could come with their children and read to them. I’d seen a similar room in the local library until they were forced to change it, as it wasn’t making them any revenue. I also wanted a quiet room where people could come and study if they needed to. The local library was actually closing, which was a real shame, but that made it even more impor
tant to have more bookstores. I’d sell everything from The Velveteen Rabbit to the Karma Sutra if I could, and there’d be textbooks for students. I just needed to figure the whole thing out. I hadn’t got a business plan yet, not fully formed, anyway. I was on my way to getting what I wanted, though.
Zoey was just waking as I entered the lounge. She looked up at me and smiled.
“Is one of those for me?” she asked, gesturing at the mugs in my hand.
I handed her the mug I’d bought her at Disneyland, it had Cinderella on. Zoey might be many things, but at heart she was just a scared little girl whose fiancé had left her and she was trying to fill the gap he left in her life. Yes, she was demanding; yes, she was a bitch to people, but she was also so much more than that. And more than just a pretty face too. She was intelligent, and put that to good use in her job as a civil servant. She made good money too, which was a bonus. Her family weren’t all that wealthy, they were comfortable but didn’t have the money to help their only daughter out, especially after they had paid a lot of money out for a wedding that never happened and they couldn’t get a lot of their deposits back. We rented somewhere cheap in the city and could easily afford it between the two of us. Neither of us could have afforded it alone, hence why we moved in together. I’d thought that would change when she married Reid, but now he’d left, we were back to the way things used to be. Well, we were if you didn’t count the sex noises with the random guys, many of whom didn’t get a repeat performance. I was fed up of it, but truth be told, I wanted my friend to be happy, and this was her way of working her frustration out of her system. I just have to keep hoping that one day it will come to an end, that she’ll settle down with someone again, or find that she’s happy being single. As for me, I’m too busy for men. I’m either working, or doing my course, and when I’m doing neither of those, I like going to gigs and seeing local bands.