Shehandsmethecontroller,getsupand walksrightoffthebus,beforeIcansay anything.Fuck!!!Ihopeshedoesn’tthink anyofthosegirlsareforme.Idropmy controllerandquicklygoafterher.
WhenIgetoutside,Ibarelyseethebackof herassheroundsthesideofthebuilding.
“Katy!!Wait!!!”Irunafterherandcatchup toherasshegetstothesideofhercar.
“Heywaitup.”
Sheturnsandsmilesatme,butthesmile doesn’treachhereyesandIknowit’safake smile.“Youshouldgetbackinthere.It’s lateandIreallyshouldbegettinghome.”
“Katy…”Irunmyfingersthroughmy hairagain.“Noneofthosegirlsareforme.I don’twantanyofthem.”
Sheputsherhandonmyarm,thensays,
“It’sokKel an.Youdon’thavetoexplain yourselftome.Iunderstand.”
Iwantedtoaskwhatsheunderstood,but beforeIcould,sheclimbsintohercarand shutsthedoor.Rollingthewindowdown, shesays,“I’l callyoutomorrow.”Thenshe isgone.Withherwords“Iunderstand”
playingoverandoveragaininmyhead,I walkbacktothebus.
Chapter5
Katy
Iwipethetearsfrommyface.Idon’t knowwhyIkeepdoingthistomyself.I knowIcan’thavehim,andyeteverytimeI seehimwithanothergirlIwanttoclaw theireyesout.Ihavedatedotherguys,but nonecomparetohimandIcan’tbring myselftostopcomparingeachoneto Kellan.Whichdoomsmyrelationship beforeitevergetsgoing.
IknowIneedtobreakitoffwithColt,butI can’tbringmyselftoadmitfailure.Ireally wantedittoworkwithhim.Yes,myheart belongstosomeoneelse,butIreallydidtry tomakeitwork.Ihadhopeddeepdown thatIcouldlovesomeoneelsejustasmuch, howeverI’mbeginningtobelieveIcan’t.
ThenextdayIreceiveatextfrom Colt,apologizingforstandingmeup.Idon’t
answerback.Iknowthatmightseem childishofme,butwhatkindofboyfriend doesn’tbothertocal andcanceladate insteadofstandingyouup?Notaverygood one.That’swhatkind!
Iamfinishingupwithmylastclientwhen thedoorbellchimes.Withoutpullingmy headupfrompinningthelastbitofher dressIsay,“sorrybutwe’reclosed.”
WhenIdon’tgetaresponseanswerorhear thechime,Istickmylastpininandturn around.Coltisstandingabouttwofeet awayandhe’sjuststaringatme.
Idon’tsayanythingtohimbutturnbackto myclient.“Yourdresswil bereadyintwo days.Iwil giveyouacal assoonasit’s done.Beverycarefulwhenyougoto changesoyoudon’tstickyourselfwithone ofthepins.”
Whenmyclienthasdisappearedintooneof thedressingrooms,IusherColttowardmy office.Onceinside,Iturntohim.“Whatare youdoinghere?”
“I’msorryaboutlastnight.
SomethingcameupandIdidn’teventhink tocallandletyouknow.”
Raisingabrowathiswords,Isay,“areyou freakingseriousrightnow?Youdidn’tthink tocallandletyourgirlfriendknowthat somethingcameupandyoucouldn’tmake ourdate.NottomentionIcalledandtexted you.”Ipul inabreath,thencontinue,“I thinkyouneedtoleave.”
WhenIturntoopentheofficedoor,Colt grabsmyarm.“Wait!Thereissomething else.”
Turningbackaroundtofacehim,Isay,
“What?”
Hedropsdowntoonekneeinfrontofme andpul soutaringbox.Ilookfromhimto theringandbacktohim.
“Katy,thisiswhatcameuplastnight.
ThejewelercalledwhenIwasonmywayto yourhouse.Katy,willyoumarryme?”
Idon’tanswerhimrightaway.Whatthe hel ?CanImarrythisman?CanIspendthe restofmylifewiththisman?Imean,Ido havefeelingsforthisman.Idon’tlovehim and,yetIcouldpossiblygrowtolovehim.
Ilookfromhimtotheringbacktohim beforelickingmydrylips,andsqueakout,
“yes.”
Iwatchasheslidestheringonmyfinger butIcan’thelpbutthinkwhatinthehel didIjustdo?
IthasbeenamonthsinceIagreedto marryColt.Istil haven’ttoldKel anyet.I don’tknowhowtotel him.Heisgoingto besopissedthatIsaidyes.Hehasbeenon tourandIjustdidn’twanttotellhimover thephoneorbytext.Thebandiscomingin todaytopickupsomemoreoftheiroutfits.
Theyhaveaphotoshoottomorrowand wanttheclothesforthat.
Ican’tgetthefeelingoutofmystomach thatIammakingahugemistake.Every timeIthinkaboutit,Igetsicktomy
stomach.Usual yIlistentomygut,butIam pushingitaside,sinceIthinkalotofithas todowithmetel ingKel an.Ihonestlydon’t knowhowheisgoingtoreacttothenews butIdoknowitwon’tbegood.
Whentheback-doorswingsopen,I nearlyjumpoutofmyskin.Myshopis closedtodaysinceitisSunday,butIlet Kellanknowthebackdoorwasopen.
Gettingmyselftogether,Igotogreetthe guys.
“Hey,Katy.”Theyallsayatthesame time.
“Heyguys.”
WhenKel anreachesme,Ileaninandgive himahug.Ibreatheindeep,takinginthe smellofhimandsoakinguphiswarmth.
WhenIpul away,andlookintohiseyes, whenheraisesabrowatme,Iknowhecan tellsomethingisup.
“Youguysgoahead.I’l catchupina minute.”Hesaysbeforetakingmyhand andleadingmebackintomyoffice.
“Spil .”
Istarttopace,“listen,Iknowyouaregoing tobepissedbutIreallyneedtotellyou that…”Itakeadeepbreath,tellingmyself topullupmybiggirlpanties,andjustspitit out,“I…um…Coltaskedmetomarryhim andIsaidyes.”
Istopandlookathim.Holyshit!Ican’t believeIjustblurtedthatoutathimlike that.Ihadthisplaninmyheadanditsure wasn’tblurtingitout.
Thereisnothingbutsilence,Ican’teven hearhimbreathing.
Chapter6
Kellan
Ican’tspeak.IamprettysureI misunderstoodwhatKatyjustsaidtome.
So,Isay,“couldyourepeatwhatyoujust said,please.”
Shetakesadeepbreath,thensays,“Colt askedmetomarryhimandIsaidyes.”
That’sexactlywhatIthoughtshesaidthe firsttime.Ifeelmyheartjustshatter.Not havinganywords,andnotknowingwhat exactlytosay.Iturnandwalkoutofthe shopwithoutsayinganything.Katycallsmy name,butIdon’tstop,untilIamatthecar.
Iknewonedayshewouldgetmarried,butI honestlyneverthoughtitwouldbethis soon.Shehasalwaysbeenthetypetodate someoneforawhilethenfindsomething wrongwithhimandthenextthingyou know,theyaredone.
Now,sheisengagedtothedouchebag Colt,andIhavejustlostmyshotwiththe onepersonIhavealwaysloved.Thereisno wayIcanpretendtobehappyforher, whenIfeellikemyhearthasbeenrippedto shreds.
Iclimbintothecarwiththerestof theguys.Theyarealllaughingandtalking, butIcan’tbringmyselftojointhem.My thoughtsjustkeepcirclingaroundthefact,I havejustlostmybestfriend.
Icomeoutofmythoughtswhenan elbowfindsmyribs.Iturnmyheadandsee Maddox.Heisstaringatme.Iturnmyhead tolookbackoutthewindow.
“What’sgoingon?Youwerefineuntil wegottoKaty’s.”
IknowIcan’thideanythingfromMaddox.
Wehavebeenfriendsalmostaslongasme andKatyhave.“KatyismarryingColt.”I whisper.
“Saywhat?”Heyel s.Thenasif
rememberingweareinthecarwiththe
otherguys,helooksaroundbutnooneis payinganyattentiontous.
TurningsoIamlookingjustathim,Isay,
“Yeah,that’swhatshejusttoldme.”
“But…”hecutshimselfoff,then
startsagain,“whatareyougoingtodo?”
“Nothing.Thereisnothi
ngIcando.
Sheisgoingtomarrythedoucheandthere isnothingIcandoaboutit.”
Maddoxdoesn’tsayanythingelseandIjust turnandlookbackoutthewindow.
Whenwegettothebus,Igostraight tomybunk,tosulk.Ineedtowrapmyhead aroundthefactthatKatyisgettingmarried andhowthiswil changeourrelationship.It makesmeevenmoreangrytoknowthat mybestfriendwon’tbethereifIneedher.
Shewil soonhaveahusbandand
thenafamilythatshehastoattendto, whichwil leavenoroomforme.Iknow thatColtfeelsthesamewayaboutmethat Ifeelabouthim,somineandKaty’s
friendshipwillbethefirstthingthatgoes,if hehashiswayandthatthoughtgutsme.
Chapter7
Kellan
Ithasbeentwoandahalfmonths sinceKatytoldmeshewasgoingtomarry thedick.Ihaven’treallytalkedtohersince then.It’skillingmesinceweusuallytalkat leastonceaday.Instead,Ihavebeen avoidinghercallsandtext,unlesstheyare businessrelated.Iknowthatsoundslikea dickmove,butIstil can’tgetoverthefact thatIlostmychanceandthepersonIlove, lovessomeoneelse.It’sbettertocutthe stringsnowthentowatchherslowlyslip away.
Iguess,youcouldsay,thatIhave fallenoffmyrocker.Istaydrunkduringthe dayandassoonasourshowsareover,I grabasmanygroupiesasIcan,andspend mynightswiththem.Then,Istartal over thenextday.
Wehavefourmoreshowsthenwe
areoffforamonth,beforethetourstarts backupagain.
“Dude,youneedtosoberup.”
Iturnandlooktowardthevoiceandsee Kane.
“Fuckoff!”
“Kel,thisisn’tlikeyou.Whatthehel isgoingon?”
Idon’tmeethiseyes,Ijustlookaroundfor mybottleofwhiskey.
“Youseemybottleofwhiskey?”
“Idon’tknowwhathasgotteninto you,butyouneedtofigureyourshitout.”
WhenIhearthebusdoorslamshut,Ijust closemyeyesandfallbackontothebed.
IwaketothesoundofMaddoxcallingmy nameandshakingme.
“What?”
“Wakethefuckup!”
“Goaway!”
“Comeon,wehavesoundcheckin
tenminutes.So,getthefuckup,andthey sayIamthefuckedupone.”
“Fuckoff!”
“Yeah,yousaidthatalready.Iknow youarefuckedupaboutthiswholeKaty marriagething,butdudeyouhavegotto getittogether.You’renotdoinganyofus anygoodlikethis,especiallyyourself.”
“Howwouldyoufeeliftheone
personyouloved,toldyoushewas marryingsomeoneelse?Howwouldyou dealwithit?Oh,Iknow.Youwouldn’t!!”
Ijerkawayfromhimandrunmyhand downmyface,beforestandingandwalking tothebathroom.Lookingatthereflection staringbackatme.Ihavedarkcirclesunder myeyes,andIlooklikeIhaven’thadany sleep,inmonths.Ijustsmirkandsplash wateronmyface.Iwalkoutofthe bathroom,grabashirtoffmybunkand makemywayoffthebus.
Ihavebeenhomefortwodaysand honestly,Idon’tevenremembergetting here.TodayisthefirstsoberdayIhavehad inalmostthreemonths.Iamjustgetting outoftheshowerandIamwalkingtothe livingroom,goingtofindmybagofclothes, sinceIdon’thaveanycleanclothesinmy drawers,whenthereisaknockonmydoor.
Thinkingit’sprobablyoneoftheguys, comingtocheckuponme.Idon’tbotherto putonanypants,Ijustwalktothedoorin nothingbutmytowel.WhenIpullopenthe door,Iamstunnedstupidyetagain.It’snot oneoftheguys,butKaty.
“Katy?”
Chapter8
Katy
Ihaven’tspokentoKellansinceItold himIacceptedColt’smarriageproposal.
No,Itakethatbacktheonlytimehewil talktomeortextmebackiswhenit’sgot todowithbusiness.Iknewhewouldtake thenewsbadlybutIneverthoughthe wouldshutmeoutcompletely.Ifeelthe lossofhimdeepinmybones.
TherehavebeenplentyoftimesI havethoughtaboutcal ingMaddoxorKane toaskwhatthehellisgoingonwithhim, butIamnotsureifheeventoldanyof themaboutmebeingengagedandIdon’t wanttomakethemworryfornothingifhe isfine.
IhavejustarrivedatColt’shouse.I grabmybagandheaduptowardthefront door.IwasalittleshockedwhenColttext
meandwantedmetocomeoverandstay.
Usual y,hejustcomestomyhouse,butI agreedandhereIam.Iknockandwaitfor Colttoopenthedoor.
Whenhedoes,hehashisphonetohisear.
Pul ingitawayslightly,hekissesmycheek, thensays,“makeyourselfathome.Ihave tofinishthiscall,thenIwillbefreeforthe restofthenight.”Thenheturnsandwalks away.
Idropmybagonthecouchandstart walkingaround.Ihaveneverbeeninsidehis housebefore,whichIknowisweird, consideringweareengaged,butwithmy schedule,itisjusteasierforhimtocometo meatmyplace.
WhenIfindthekitchen,Ibegintolookfor ingredientstostartcooking.Hedoesn’t havemuchbutIdofindenoughstuffto makehamburgersandfries.
Ihavejustfinishedcookingdinner,and sinceIhaven’tseenhim,wel sinceIgot here,IgotofindColttolethimknowit’s
done.WalkingdownthehallwayIwatched himdisappeardownwhenIgothere,Iwalk towardthevoiceIhear.Onceatthedoor,I liftmyhandtoknockbutstopshortwhenI thinkIhearhimcallsomeonebaby.Ileanin alittlecloserandlisten.
“Heybaby.Ican’tmakeourdate
tonight.No.Somethingcameupwithwork andIneedtostayandfinishit.Yeah,we canreschedule.Ok,soundsgood.Yeah,love youtoo.”
Itakeastepback.Whatthehel ?He’s datinganothergirl,andactual ycal edher babyandcancelledtheirdate.Whichhe doesn’tdowithme,andhejusttoldherhe lovedher.Holyshit!Hehasbeenplaying me.Thatsonofabitch!
Rushingtowardthefrontdoor,Iremovemy ring,tossingitontothetablebythefront door,grabmybagandwalkrightoutthe door.
Gettingintomycar,Iturnmyphoneoff.
EventhoughIhaven’ttalkedtoKel an,I
wantonlyhim.Ihavetheirschedule,soI knowtheguysarehomeforalittlewhile.
So,Iheadtowardhishouse.Ihavetears streamingdownmyface,notfromtheloss ofColtbutbecauseIwassuchanidiotand almostmarriedacheatingbastard.
Iwipethetearsawayandknockon hisdoor.Whenitswingsopen,al hegets outis“Katy”beforeIthrowmyselfathim, wrappingmyarmsaroundhim,thetears startupagain.Hewrapshisarmsaround me,al whilesaying,“Whatthehel !Katy whathappened?”
“Iwassuchanidiot.”
“Whathappened?”
Ipullawayfromhim,andfinallynoticeheis innothingbutatowel.Holyshit!IknowI amstaringbutIcan’tseemtolookaway.
Heisfreakinghot!Ihaveseenhimwithout ashirtbefore,butIhaveneverseenhim likethis.Ilookhimupanddown,andthen slowlymakemywaybackupagain.Ijust standthereandtakeinallsixfeetoneinch
ofhim.Fromhisshoulderlengthblackhair, thatisdrippingwaterdownhistattooed chest,tohissix-packabs,tothatsexyas fuckvathiships.Ican’thelpit,Ilickmy lips.Iwanttolickthedropsfromhischest andpul thattoweloff.
Whenhesays,“Katy,whatthehel happened?”Iamjoltedfrommylustfilled hazeandbacktothereasonIamhere.I turnandwalktowardthecouch.Itakea seatandpatthespotbesideme.
“Letmeputonsomepants.”
BeforeIcansayanything,hedisappears.
Whenhecomesbackintothelivingroom,I haven’tmoved.Iamstil sittingonthe couch,hetakestheseatbesideme,grabs myhandandsays,“ok,nowtel mewhat happened.”
“First,whyhaven’tyoubeentalking tome?IknowitwasashockwhenItold you
thatmeandColtwereengagedbut damnitKel an,wearebestfriendsandbest
friendsdon’tjuststoptalkingtoeach other.”
Kellandropshishead,“I’msorryKat.
IknowIdidn’ttakeitwellwhenyoutold meaboutyouandColt,butI’mherenow.
Please,tellmewhathappened.”
Isign,“Fine.Coltsentmeatext earlierandaskedmetocomeoverandto stay.WhenIgotthere,hewasonthe phone.Ireal ydidn’tthinkmuchaboutit.
Youknow.So,whenIwenttofindhimto tellhimdinnerwasdone,Iover-heardhim talkingtosomeone.Hecal edthembaby, saidhecouldn’tmaketheirdatethat somethingcameupatwork,thenhetold themtheycouldrescheduleandsaidhe lovedthem.So,Iremovedmyringandleft andcamestraighthere.”
Irunmyfingersthroughmyhairandplace myheadinmyhands.WhenKel andoesn’t sayanything.Ilookupathim,“Whydoes thisshitalwayshappentome.DoIhave stupidsuckerwroteallovermyfaceor something?”Ilookupathim,beforesaying,
“Ishouldhavelistenedtoyou.Inever shouldhaveagreedtomarryhim.IswearI needtolistentomyinstinctsalittlebetter.”
Iletoutayelp,asIamyankedoffthecouch andontoKellan’slap.Ihaveneverbeenin hislapbeforeandbeforeIopenmymouth tosayanything,hislipsareonmine.
Electric Chaos (Controlled Chaos Book 1) Page 2