by Amy Cecil
“Forgive me, Max,” she said. “But I needed to see you.”
“Is something wrong?” I asked.
“Uh, no,” she replied hesitantly. But then she added, “I needed to see you.” She stepped into the room and walked to my bed. She stood at the foot of the bed and added, “I need you, Max.”
I sat up in bed, my eyes never leaving hers. I asked cautiously, “Are you saying what I think you are saying?” I had to be sure. Before I took one foot off the bed and moved toward her, I had to be sure.
“Yes,” she replied breathlessly.
That was all I needed to hear. I got out of bed and walked over to her. The room was dark, but the moon shone through the porthole and left a faint bit of light such that a candle was not necessary. I stood before her and it took everything in me not to ravish her. But I knew I needed to proceed with caution. I had to be sure that this was what she wanted. I had to be sure that she knew if we proceeded on this course, there would be no turning back.
“Elizabeth,” I whispered as I slowly bent down and lightly grazed her lips with mine. I felt her shudder at my touch. I decided to back off a bit and brought my hand to the side of her face in a gentle caress. But I could not forget the feeling of her lips against mine. My gaze moved from her eyes back to her luscious lips. Leaning in, I could hear the beating of her heart as her lips parted. She was inviting me to continue and I was more than ready to comply. Lightly at first, my lips again grazed hers. My hand cradled her face as I kissed her again. With slow, gentle strokes, our mouths moved together. I gradually deepened the kiss until her tongue slowly stroked mine. She moaned at the sensation, which only made me kiss her more. I pulled her into my arms, holding her body close to mine. I could feel her breasts against my bare chest and I was sure she could feel my arousal against her core.
Holding her in my arms was unlike any feeling I had ever known. The Lord knew I had been with many women, but I had never truly known what it was to hold the woman that I loved. We continued to kiss, our bodies clinging to each other. When we finally came up for air, I had to ask, “Elizabeth, are you sure?”
She nodded, but that was not enough. I needed to hear her say it. “Tell me that you are absolutely sure about this. Because if I continue, there will be no stopping me. You will be mine.”
“I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life. I need you; I want you. I want this.”
With those words I scooped her up into my arms and carried her to my bed. I gently laid her on the bed and slowly untied the ribbon that held her gown closed. As her breasts became exposed to me, I extended my hand and lightly touched her erect nipples. They hardened at my touch and she began to squirm. I touched my lips to her breast and found the taste to be sweet and intoxicating.
I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. The only dream I had ever had was for her to be mine. The woman that I had loved for so many years was finally lying in my bed, vulnerable and mine. But at that moment my conscience spoke up and said, is there not something you need to tell her before you go any further? When I tried to shoo the thought away, it asked again. Do you not think she deserves to know who you really are? My conscience was right, I knew that. But I told myself, I will tell her in the morning. She will understand. I could not stop now even if I tried, so I continued to love her completely.
Her hands reached up and caressed me through my hair and down to my shoulders. I crawled up onto the bed and knelt between her legs. She was watching me intently as I slowly raised my nightshirt over my head. Her hands reached for my bare chest as she caressed me lovingly. She was absolutely beautiful as I leaned down and kissed her lips again. As I kissed her my hand slid down her body, from her stomach to the dark curls that nestled between her legs. She moaned and closed her eyes when I slipped a finger inside of her. She moaned even louder when I added another. She began to writhe as my thumb stroked her sensitive nub. Her breathing suddenly hitched. I replaced my finger with my tongue and she totally lost control of her body. I could tell that the sensations were building as she clutched the covers on the bed. When she reached her climax her body literally shuddered and convulsed at my touch.
She was hot and breathless, but I was not done with her. I devoured her mouth as my body completely covered her own. Her hands traveled all over my body as I guided my erection inside her. She was wet and warm and she clutched my erection as if she was holding on for dear life. Her tightness was my undoing and I could no longer be gentle. I had to have her and I needed release. Rising to my knees, I lifted her pelvis ever so slightly and slid a pillow under her back. With her more exposed to my ministrations, I began to pound into her with a fury that had been pent up for eleven long years. The more I drove into her, the more she clamped onto my erection, wanting more.
The tension building in us both was about to explode. The longer I held on, the more she screamed in pleasure. Her screams were my undoing and I found my release—and to my surprise, she did too.
We laid there in each other’s arms for a long time, neither of us saying anything. The feelings inside of me were bursting to come out. Finally, I said, “Elizabeth, I love you!”
She was quiet at first and then she said sadly, “I love you too, Max, but …”
I would not allow her to finish. I knew what she was going to say and I did not want to hear it. “No, you will not ruin this moment with talk of how we can never be. There are things about me that you do not know. Things that I hope will please you. But I do not want to talk about those things now. I just want to lie here with you in my arms. Can we do that, and talk tomorrow?”
“Yes, I suppose we can.” She sounded so depressed and sad and I hated to see her this way. I knew I should tell her right then, but I was so afraid of ruining what had just happened between us. I thought it best to wait until the next morning, when we both had a clearer head.
I slept that night with Elizabeth in my arms. It was the best night’s sleep I had had in many years. I found it amazing how being with the one you were meant to be with changed everything. I finally had her, and I had be damned if I let her go.
Chapter 14
Elizabeth
I awoke the next morning feeling completely refreshed. I looked over to Max lying next to me, still sleeping soundly. I smiled. He was so handsome, even in sleep and I wanted so much to reach out and caress his face. But I thought better of it and decided to let him sleep. While I stared at his sleeping form, it occurred to me that when I boarded this ship, Max’s bed was the last place I had expected I would ever be, well at least willingly. At the time, I was not sure of what he wanted from me and although I tried to show no fear, I admit that I was terrified. I was worried about what fate had in store for us and scared for Thomas, my father and myself. Max was a beast. He was cruel, demanding and utterly unyielding. He was my captor and my enemy. Or so I thought.
As I had gotten to know him over the last several weeks, I found a kindness in him that I did not expect. His attentions to Thomas were endearing and melted my heart. As much as I thought that I did not want to be in his company I found that I regularly sought him out. I looked forward to our walks on deck and our conversations about books. And although it was there all along, I did not see it until the realization hit me that we might not have survived that awful storm. I found that I was afraid the he would not survive. And in that moment, I knew that I was falling in love with him.
I stretched lazily as I laid there in bed and my mind drifted to last night and the most incredible night of pleasure I had ever known. I had loved Bash with every beat of my heart, but our marriage lacked passion. Max gave me the passion that I so desperately craved. But now that I had it, I knew I had to let it go. Our relationship could never work. I had to return to England and ensure that Thomas was prepared to receive his title. I did not have the luxury of running off with a pirate and living on the seas. No, that fate was not meant for the Duchess of Grafton.
I knew I would never forget him and I planned to enjoy
every remaining minute I had with him until we reached land, but just then I needed to return to Thomas. I did not want him to wake and wonder where I was.
I got back to my cabin and found that Thomas was still asleep. I quickly ruffled the covers on my bed to make it appear that it had been slept in. Thomas was a precocious child and I knew that he would ask questions about the bed. I was not prepared to answer those questions.
I used the basin in the cabin to freshen up a bit and put on a new dress. Just as I was putting the last pin in my hair Thomas awoke. “Good morning, Mama!” he said.
“Good morning, my love. Did you sleep well?” I asked.
“I did. Can we eat now? I am hungry,” he said.
“Well, why do you not freshen up a bit and I will check to see if the captain is awake and our meal is ready. I will be back shortly.”
I walked up on deck and found Max walking about. When he spotted me, his face lit up and he walked over to me eagerly. Grasping my hands in his, he said, “Elizabeth, my love. How are you this fine morning?”
I smiled. “I am well, Max. And you?” I replied.
“I have never been better.” Taking my arm and tucking it underneath his, he said, “Walk with me.”
I nodded and we began to walk, just like we had every morning on this ship. But this morning was not like any other morning. No, this morning was like a fresh start that would never happen. We needed to talk, but I did not want to ruin the moment. Instead, I decided to ask about something that I had not brought up to Max in a long time.
“Max, may I inquire about my father?”
Chapter 15
Captain Sterling
I tensed at her words. The timing of her question made me wonder if last night had just been a stepping-stone to get what she wanted out of me. Is she manipulating me? I was having difficulty assessing her character in this matter and thought it best, until I was sure, to allow her to proceed. “Yes. What would you like to know?”
“Is he safe?” she asked desperately. I could hear the worry and concern in her voice. I knew for a fact how much Elizabeth loved her father as well as how close the two of them were. Did she really believe that I would put him in danger?
“Yes, he is safe.”
I could see the relief wash across her face at first, but then she asked, “But how do you know for sure?”
“Because I had him taken to Nassau with everyone else on the Amity,” I replied.
She looked at me, wide-eyed. “But Max! You said that he was being dropped on a deserted island in the West Indies! You said that he would remain there until you got what you wanted and when you were done with Thomas and me,” she exclaimed. I could hear the anger in her voice. “You led me to believe that he would be stranded and alone, with no food or water, on that God-forsaken island!” She began hitting me and shaking me in anger. “You allowed me to worry about him!” She continued to punch at my chest and I made no attempt to defend myself.
As she continued yelling, members of the crew began coming up on deck to get their day started. They looked at me curiously. I believed that it was best to let her go on, so I nodded to them, indicating that they had nothing to be alarmed about. When she was done and the tears started falling, her head fell to my chest as she clung to me. She continued to cry for several minutes.
“There, there, my love. I am sorry that I did not tell you about your father. I am sorry about a lot of things, but when you first boarded this ship you were defiant and unreasonable. I needed leverage to keep you under control until we made land. But as you and I started to build a relationship and I began to fall in love with you, I became afraid. I did not want to do anything to jeopardize what we had. From the beginning, my crew was instructed to treat your father and your ladies like royalty. I promise you, no harm has or will come to him. My instructions were to take him to Nassau with everyone else on the Amity. He and your ladies will be staying at my estate on the island. I assure you he is quite well. I am so sorry.”
“And how do you know that no harm has come to him? How do you know that he is well?” Before I could answer, she continued, “You do not know, Captain Sterling. You cannot be sure that he is safe.”
“Actually, I can. My orders are obeyed. In all the years I have sailed with these men, I have never had an issue with disobedience. My men respect me, Elizabeth, because I treat them fairly and I respect them in return. There is not a doubt in my mind about the status of your father.”
“And what about the storm? Did they not experience the same horrific storm that we did a night ago?”
“No, they were well ahead of it. They cast off long before we did. We remained anchored while my crew stowed the cargo. They were a good eight hours ahead of us, heading due west. That storm came in from the south and traveled north.”
At that point, I could tell that she did not want to hear any more. She looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said abruptly, “Thomas is hungry. Would it be possible for him and me to eat in our cabin this morning, Captain Sterling?”
Her message was clear: we were back to square one. Well, fine, she will get over this soon enough. I am a patient man. I have waited eleven years for her; a few more days is not really going to make a difference. “Why yes, Your Grace, that can be arranged,” I replied smugly.
Elizabeth had gotten the best of me during our last go around. She would not best me this time. I was going to make damn sure of that!
Chapter 16
Elizabeth
I stalked below deck to my room. The gall of that man! How dare he allow me to believe that my father’s life was in danger? How dare he use Thomas and me like this? What was I thinking even considering his attentions?
Still angry, I threw open the door to the cabin abruptly, startling Thomas. “Mama! What is wrong?” he asked.
“Nothing. I am just a little upset with Captain Sterling. I am all right, love. I promise,” I said as I walked over to him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. “Are you hungry?” I asked.
“Yes, I am! Are you still mad at Max or can we go and eat now?” he asked.
“I am sorry, sweetheart, but we will not be eating with Captain Sterling for the remainder of our voyage.”
“But Mama! Why?” he cried.
“Captain Sterling is not the person that we thought he was. He is a pirate, Thomas. I should have known to never trust a pirate!”
“But Mama, he was so kind to us,” Thomas said.
“It appeared that way, but I assure you, he had an ulterior motive for his kindness and has shown his true colors this morning. I do not want you in his company, or that of his crew, any longer.” I paused briefly and then added, “And I do not want you to call him Max anymore. He is not your friend, Thomas. Do you understand me?” I asked.
“Yes, Mama,” Thomas replied.
I could see the sadness in his eyes. He had grown so fond of Max, just as I had. I think that is why it hurt so bad that he had betrayed us. I had truly believed that he loved us. But a man who loved us would not have allowed me to believe that my elderly father was struggling for food and water on a deserted island. I was sure my worst enemy would not do that. I added, “In an effort for us to remain as far removed from the captain as possible, I have requested that we eat our meals here.”
I could see the disappointment on Thomas’ face as I said these words. But he was young and impressionable; the last thing I wanted to do was to encourage his relationship with the captain. Thomas was already going to suffer from the loss of Max’s companionship; the last thing I needed was for them to grow closer. It would only hurt Thomas more in the end.
I sat down in the chair to help calm my anger when there was a knock at the door. “Come in,” I answered as I stood.
The door opened slowly and Max stepped in. He looked like he would have been waving a white flag if he had one at hand. Not that it would have mattered. Still, I found bitter amusement in his demeanor.
He was carrying a teapot and the cook followe
d behind him with a tray of food.
“Hooray! Food!” Thomas cheered.
“Good morning, Thomas,” Max said.
Cheerfully, Thomas replied, “Good morning, Ma … I mean, Captain Sterling!” The glee on Thomas’ face at seeing Max was significantly subdued by the end of his salutation. Max gave me a look of disgust, but I was not sure if it was because of our previous conversation or at Thomas’ reaction to him. Perhaps it was both. Feeling his ire directed at me was a little disconcerting, but I quickly brushed it off.
As he left the room, he stopped at the door without turning around. “Your Grace, you will dine with me this evening, alone,” he said.
“I am terribly sorry, but I will not. I will remain in my room for the duration of this voyage. Thank you for the invitation,” I replied with stoic formality.
He slowly turned around and began to approach me. When he reached the point at which I was standing, he stood so close to me that I could feel his breath on my face. I hated it when he did this, but he knew it was the only way to completely gain my attention. He knew that there was a raging passion between us that could not be denied. His body was almost touching my own and I could feel the heat rising between us. My body ached for him and memories of our night together invaded my head. Every hair on my body prickled with anticipation as he leaned down, his eyes never leaving mine. Kiss me, I cried silently. Love me! I pleaded silently.
He had me mesmerized as his gaze darkened. I could not think of anything but the incredible man standing before me. At that moment, it did not matter how mad I was at him. It did not matter that he had betrayed my trust. No, nothing mattered but his lips on mine. Nothing mattered but his hands on my body. But he did not touch me.
When he finally spoke, his tone was deep and commanding. “May I remind you, madam, I am still captain of this ship. Everyone on this ship will obey my orders and that includes you. It was not an invitation. I will see you at half past eight in my dining room.” He stepped away and suddenly I felt cold and bereft of his presence. He continued as he headed toward the door, “Smead will tend to Thomas, so you need not worry about his well-being.” He then turned and stormed out the door, Mr. Balmore following him quickly. The door slammed shut behind them. I thought there was something very familiar about what just happened, but I could not put my finger on it. It was as if I had experienced the same scenario with the same man before. That is absurd! You just met him a few weeks ago, I admonished myself. I knew that it was completely ridiculous to think that he and I could have encountered one another before, but I still could not dismiss the feeling of déjà vu.