by Vonna Harper
Showing no emotion, he planted his hand over her belly and pushed her back against the wall again. He kept his hand in place, pinning her while she shuddered and tried to keep her breath from whistling. The pressure on her belly increased, then settled. “I smelled something earlier,” he said. “Your cunt.”
Unnerved by the crude yet telling words, she kept her head high.
“Because you’re afraid or me? Or because you want me?”
“I’m not going to answer that.”
“Yes, you are.”
9
She was a deer he’d run down, a rabbit too startled to move. Bit by bit he’d stripped away what made her a civilized woman. A little more, and she’d be the same as him, naked.
Then the real work would begin.
Feeling her shiver again, he knew he wouldn’t wait after all. He couldn’t.
He screamed each time Cougar took over. He did so now, albeit silently, but the sound wasn’t the same. This was even more primitive, male and not animal. Keeping her against the wall, he slid his free hand between her legs. This time there was no denim in the way. Instead, he touched satinlike flesh and heard a woman’s low, soft murmur. Her eyes were wide, and she lifted herself onto her toes. Except for what was between her legs, her whole body was tense.
Making no secret of his fascination with her expression, he turned his hand to the side so his thumb glided over her core. His goal was to reach her sexually and, if possible, sand away her resistance.
During the million or more times he’d dreamed of today, he’d told himself only his needs mattered. His reasons were simple: if he had any chance of holding onto what remained of the human in him, he had to bring another human into his world. A female.
But the more he’d dreamed his dreams, the more he’d realized keeping her with him wouldn’t be enough. He needed to be privy to all her emotions, not just her fear.
Fear was what Cougar got from his prey.
So stroke away her fear. Show her his human side.
If he was capable.
After letting up on the pressure against her belly and waiting for her breathing to deepen, he bent his thumb and gave her the only gift he possessed, himself. He invaded a fraction and retreated, stroked and stroked that soft, wet flesh again, sometimes long and slow, other times using a quick, short gliding movement along her labial lips.
Her breathing picked up, stopped, quickened even more. Her head had fallen back so the wall supported it, and her eyes were now hidden behind her heavy lids. She had incredibly long lashes, almost like a deer’s. When she stopped trying to keep her mouth closed, her lips seemed to swell. What would they feel like around his cock?
No, not his needs! Not yet.
Fighting frustration and impatience, he took the next step. His thumb found her entrance, dipped in and let heat surround him. All but panting with the need to bury his cock in her, he waited out the dangerous moment, then escaped. As he did, he ran his thumbnail over her clit. Shuddering, she jerked upright.
He stopped, thinking to give her time to relax, but when she didn’t, he went after her again. A memory far older than those stranger-to-stranger nights since he’d become Tocho said he was doing the right thing. If he continually touched and stroked and tested, she’d stop thinking of anything except him. She’d need only him.
He’d come this far in the only journey that mattered to him. All those solitary days and nights, the countless times Cougar had taken over, and finally he wasn’t alone. He’d found her, a woman who’d known his name.
“Hok’ee,” she whispered as if reading his mind. “I can’t—oh, God, I can’t…”
“What?”
“Wait, please.”
For a moment he couldn’t make sense of the single word. Then he realized she must be talking about her full bladder. Grunting, he dropped to his knees and yanked off her unnecessary clothes. When he was done, she took a step toward the entrance, then stopped and watched him stand. The beast he’d forced into hibernation took a breath. Not taking the time to battle it into submission, he laced his fingers through her hair and led her outside. She walked with her head high and still, her steps slow.
“It’s afternoon,” she said. “Late afternoon.”
“That matters?”
Although she merely shrugged, he sensed it was no casual comment. And though he should have questioned her, the only thing he wanted to do was guide her toward the nearest bushes. Was she embarrassed by her nudity? Maybe he’d already taken her past such unimportant considerations. Matching her pace while limiting her freedom fed a need for power, and made him wonder what it would take for him to let her go. Right now he couldn’t conceive of a time when he wouldn’t want her beside or under him.
When he stopped, she tried to look around, but he kept his grip firm. Then he pressed down on her shoulder, indicating she could relieve herself where they stood. She gave a shuddering sigh before widening her stance and squatting. She would have fallen if he hadn’t provided the necessary balance.
Finished, she continued to squat until he hauled her upright. They’d shared something not intimate so much as private, and in the sharing, maybe she’d taken another step toward turning her will over to him.
“You’re a bastard. I hope you know that.”
“Yeah, I do.”
“Why is this happening? That’s what I don’t understand.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“The hell it doesn’t!” She tried to swivel toward him, prompting him to pull her against him via her hair. “All right, all right! I’m sorry I said anything. That’s what you wanted to hear, isn’t it? For me to grovel.”
It wasn’t, but the hell of it was, he didn’t know what he wanted from her. Or maybe the truth was he longed for words he knew she’d never say.
“There.” Releasing her hair, he shoved her away. She stood with her back to him and her roped hands touching her ass. Her fingers were clenched, her toes dug into the ground.
“Go on, run,” he challenged.
“Get the exercise in futility out of my system, you mean.” Other than her spine straightening, she didn’t move. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, to chase me down, just like the cougar you became chased down whatever it killed.”
“I’m not—”
“That’s what this is about isn’t it?” she interrupted. “Not just sex, but having prey for the next time the beast comes out.”
“You think—”
“I think I’m a creature you’ve put in a cage and intend to toy with before tearing my throat apart? You’re damn right I do.”
If she truly believed that, then she was the bravest woman he’d ever known.
“Say something,” she hissed. “Anything. This not knowing or having answers is making me crazy.”
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
Her tone had changed from fierce courage to something he couldn’t wrap his mind around. Softer and less intense, her tone cut through the walls he’d built to preserve what remained of his sanity. This time, when he took hold of her thick hair, it wasn’t so he could control her but to give her a small piece of himself. Turning her head so they were face to face, he stroked her cheek. Her eyes widened, and her nostrils flared, but what captured his attention was the way her lips parted.
Running his hand from her cheek to the back of her head, he kneaded the tight muscles there. He still had hold of her hair, and his ropes were on her, but if he could believe her softening expression, she’d remain before him even if she was free.
He wanted that with every fiber of his being. To wake to the sound of a woman’s gentle breathing and her head on his chest, to touch her and have her nestle against him.
And although he knew that would never be, he lowered his head and covered her mouth with his. She started shaking, and her breathing, like his, was quick and shallow. How soft her lips were, tentative and questioning.
Of course they were, and yet despite everything
he’d done and robbed her of, she was letting him kiss her. Deeply thankful for what he needed to believe was her gift, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her onto her toes. Although he towered over her and far outweighed her, he felt as if he’d just escaped an attempt on his life.
She was dangerous; that’s why he felt the way he did. But along with that danger came breasts and belly and shelter for his cock.
And, in his most insane of dreams, understanding.
Bending her backward, he pressed his lonely lips against hers. Instead of trying to pull free, she met him square on. Her mouth parted even more, and her tongue slid out and between his lips. His vision clouded, and his needs hummed. Even with his cock aching, the kiss became everything. He’d never allowed himself to think it could be like this between him and the woman he chose to protect him from a lifetime of solitude. They’d have sex of course, hard and urgent, driven by the inner animal. But softness? Caring?
When she swayed, he relaxed his hold so she no longer had to stay on her toes. Her mouth opened yet more. Responding to the silent invitation, he ran his tongue around the insides of her lips.
She belonged to a world he’d lost contact with, and maybe that’s what he most needed from her. Hungry, he lapped at her sweet moisture. Instead of being satiated, he needed more. Whispered words of love and a body freely given would have shattered his protective walls.
Even with his heart telling him he’d never hear those words, or her legs willingly parted for him, he slipped into a space painted by sensation. She tasted of life and promise, two things she’d willingly share with him. He had little to give in return, only his body, but she was content with the gift, and demonstrated her appreciation by taking it over and over.
They’d become simple creatures ruled by heat and need. Day would fade into night, and night would give way to dawn, and they’d still be together, their bodies joined, kissing endlessly.
Then a distant scream jerked him back to reality. They straightened as one, the closeness shattered.
“What’s that?” she asked.
“A cougar. Hunting.”
As if reinforcing what he’d just told her, the predator screamed again. The sound echoed, causing his teeth to ache from the urge to be the one proclaiming a successful kill.
“A real cougar or—are you the only one? Are there others like you?”
He hadn’t wanted to talk about his shape-shifting until they’d had sex, but neither was he willing to lie to her any more than he already had. “There are others, at least four.”
A shudder rolled through her slight body, and then she’d stepped out of his embrace, leaving him with not enough memory of what she felt like. “When are you going to tell me what’s happening?”
Never, he wanted to say, but hadn’t he just acknowledged his need to tell her the truth? “I don’t understand everything,” he admitted. “Neither do the rest of the pride.”
“Pride?”
“We live in the moment. No matter how hard we try to remember, the past remains a mystery.”
Hok’ee’s tone had changed. For the first time, Kai heard hesitation and confusion from the man. Even with his body dominating her world, she sensed the child he’d once been, the lonely boy. Other things had started to come to her while they were kissing. Like blips of light from lightning on a moonless night, she’d seen bits and pieces of where he’d gone, and what he’d done after he’d taken on cougar form. Although he’d been pure animal, a killing machine, a current of humanity had remained. That’s what she needed to focus on somehow.
But first she’d have to shake off his physical impact.
Her lips felt bruised, and her pussy ached. No matter whether she acknowledged his cock or struggled to keep her thoughts off it, it dominated her mind. “Maybe,” she finally thought to say, “you’re deliberately blocking out the past.”
“Why would I do that? If there were holes in your life, wouldn’t you try to fill them?”
Anger, quick and raw. “Of course. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”
The distant cougar screamed again, and although her heartbeat didn’t jump this time, the cry distracted her. “You said there are at least three others—what should I call you?—shape-shifters. Do you know which one that is?”
He shook his head. Then he blinked, and again shook his head as if trying to clear his mind. Laying his hand on her shoulder, he let his gaze travel down her. He was so slow with his scrutiny it was almost as if he hadn’t looked at her before. She might have wondered if he was going to change form again if she wasn’t staring at him in the same way. He truly dominated her existence, but not just because he’d stolen her freedom. Even if she still had the use of her hands and believed she might be able to outrun him, this was where she belonged.
For now, she amended. For now.
“We’re going back inside,” he said.
And then?
They hadn’t walked that far from the ancient structure he’d turned into a crude home, but returning to it seemed to take forever. Of course she felt that way, she told herself as he directed her via a work-honed hand on her elbow. She was being led to something she’d never forget. Although she barely heard her feet as they settled on the warm ground, each step closer to where he lived had a finality about it.
Silence had been forced on her almost from the first moment she’d seen him. He’d removed her gag, but then he’d turned into something shocking and had disappeared. Even while he was gone, it seemed as if they’d carried out countless conversations. Either that, or the moments they’d spent kissing had—
She had been a willing participant. Not an overwhelmed captive, not even a woman caught in lust, but his equal, at least for those moments. Now that the moments and emotion were behind her, her mind was clearing. He couldn’t know it, of course, but in some ways he’d opened his soul to her.
Even with lightning dancing on her skin and her pussy alive, her understanding of him had grown while they kissed. She’d seen him stalk the prey he’d killed and eaten, but that wasn’t all. For no more than a second, she’d seen a boy speeding down a country road on a bicycle.
Wondering how much of the boy remained, she looked over at him, but then they entered the testament to the existence of the Anasazi. It was cooler in here, and she heard, or thought she heard, a quiet growl. Alerted, she stopped. Yes, there it was. Even when Hok’ee forced her over to what she’d determined was his bed, she fixed her mind on the sound. It was, or rather, it had been a dog.
Using a technique she’d perfected over the years of living with her talent, she closed her eyes. Without the cave distracting her, it didn’t take long to locate the far corner of the cave where the growl was, or had come from.
In her imagination, she slowly approached the dog. It wore no collar, and its long yet sparse hair looked as if it had never been brushed. A mutt, its back came as high as her thighs. Its head appeared too large for the rest of its body, but maybe if it wasn’t so scrawny, everything would have been in proportion.
The mutt wasn’t aware of her presence, not that that surprised her, because in her visions, she floated above whatever creature she came in contact with. By concentrating on its breathing and heart rate, she soon determined that it was experiencing equal parts fear and anticipation. Its belly was empty, and it salivated. This wasn’t the first time this had happened. In fact, wanting to be fed, but not knowing if it was going to happen, was part of the fabric of its life. Much as she longed to study what the dog was looking at, that wouldn’t accomplish anything. If she wanted to learn more, and she did, she had to wait for the creature to do the revealing.
A part of her was aware of Hok’ee’s hand on her elbow, and his confusion as he tried to determine what she was doing.
Ah, the dog was slowly lowering itself to the ground, and its growls became anxious whines. The hairs on the back of its neck stood up, and it pulled back its lips to reveal yellow teeth. Strangely, it started wagging its tail. Sorry for t
he creature, she pondered why its emotions were in such conflict. In her world, most dogs were loved and cared for, but she’d been sucked far into the past.
How far? Where was she?
History expanded. She smelled wood smoke and roasting meat. Like the dog, her mouth filled. She might have been distracted by her hunger if not for the sounds. Now she was securely inside the mutt’s body. She saw what it did, smelled what it did, heard the same things, and reacted as the dog did.
Several people were talking in a language unlike any she’d ever heard. The predominantly male voices consisted of a series of clicks and grunts, along with occasional sounds that came from deep in the speaker’s chest. She’d heard Navajos speaking among themselves while at Canyon De Chelly, and knew that wasn’t what she was hearing.
Who else had made Sani their home?
A thrill of comprehension slammed into her. She had to fight it in order to keep her focus on the mutt. Quivering in excitement, she slipped back into the mutt’s body. It was still wagging its tail, still prepared for danger. It had settled onto its belly with its head high, nose twitching, spittle running from both sides of its mouth. Suddenly a blur of movement flew toward the dog, only to drop to the ground a foot in front of it. Moving with the speed of youth and need, the dog snatched up whatever it was and swallowed.
The mutt was being fed scraps from whoever was teaching it how to live among humans. And not just any humans, but those who’d lived here thousands of years ago. She’d heard them, could duplicate some of the sounds!
“What is it?” Hok’ee demanded. His hold on her shoulder tightened.
“What?”
“You’re shaking, and you keep staring at the same spot.”
The image faded. Nothing remained of the roasting meat smell, and Hok’ee’s voice was now the only one she heard. She wanted to scream, to cry out and beg the dog and humans to return.
Even as she reluctantly turned her attention to her captor, she had no doubt of what had just happened. If she could do that again, take more time and pay closer attention…“I can’t explain,” was the only thing she could think to say.