by Vonna Harper
Wait! What—ah, a finger on her again. Drenched by her liquid heat. Once more tapping at the entrance to her bowels.
Panting, she willed herself not to move. He waited a moment, pushed against her rear hole, went still, pushed again. She opened under the assault. Muscles designed to protect and defend lost their will. She was welcoming him in, giving him permission to invade and conquer. Deeper and deeper he plundered.
In, he was in again, his finger surrounded by tissue he had every right to.
When the pressure against her temple decreased, she realized he was helping her straighten. For a moment the lessening strain in her arms distracted her from what was happening to her ass. Then a fireball rolled through her belly.
“Ah, ah!”
He pulled her hard against him, the hand gone from her wrists, his arm now compressing her breasts.
Locked in his embrace. The fireball spinning out of control, igniting her entire body on fire, screaming again, loud and wild.
Climaxing.
And in the moment of climax, seeing something that made her shudder in fear.
11
Her head down, Kai sat cross-legged on his bed. He’d retied her hands in front so she could eat, but although she nibbled on the apple and granola bar he’d given her, she reserved her enthusiasm for water. She had the look of a woman who’d spent the night fucking, complete with limp hair clinging to her cheeks and throat, and a still-swollen pussy. If she was aware of how much he could see of her cunt, she gave no indication.
He’d done that to her, shaken her so deeply she had no choice but to rest. Unfortunately, resting was the last thing he could do. Not only hadn’t his erection given any indication of fading, his self-disgust was growing.
Bastard, that’s what he was, a damnable bastard. And all because he was scared to death he’d lose her otherwise.
There had to be another way, something laced with tenderness and compassion instead of hard sex. A caring and intuitive man would know what that something else was, but he was neither of those things. Instead, he existed in a world rejected by both humans and animals. He didn’t even know what name he’d been given at birth.
Anaba’s scream earlier had reminded him that he wasn’t completely alone, and as soon as he could, he’d let his friend know he was grateful for the contact. Because Anaba lived in the same dark world, the other man/beast would understand why he’d thrown his ropes over a woman.
Now what? Certain steps had been taken that would forever define his relationship with Kai. Even before he’d seen her, he’d believed he would have to do what he had. Otherwise, whatever woman he chose would flee. But he hadn’t spent enough time examining the steps he and the female he’d haul into his world would take in this journey.
That was why he was on edge.
That and his inability to shake off the unfathomable look in her eyes as her climax ended.
Putting down the crumpled granola bar wrapper, she looked at him. Her eyes were saying the same thing they had a little while ago, not asking questions so much as telling him she’d found answers. If only he could comprehend what that was.
“I’m not afraid of you,” she muttered. “Maybe I should be, but I’m not.”
“I don’t want you to be.”
“Don’t you?”
She was right; he was familiar with fear. Because a terrified prey was easy to bring down, he screamed and snarled while attacking. Then in sharp contrast to those moments of strength, he’d lain awake too many nights because his future frightened him.
“That was your intention when you first grabbed me. I know it was,” she went on. “But maybe your agenda has changed now that you know a little about me. Very little.”
She’d been locked on him while she was talking, but now she dropped her gaze to her lap. Tipping her head a little to the side, she placed her hands between her legs and touched her swollen sex.
“Is this what you wanted? To push my buttons? Once I was turned on, you figured you could get me to do whatever you wanted? Maybe follow you around like some pet.”
Watching her unself-consciously stroke her labia, he wondered whether she was trying to stimulate or soothe herself.
“Maybe your agenda will work. All I know is, I’m not in control of my body.” She held up her tethered hands. “And not just because of the ropes.”
It wasn’t suppose to be like this. He’d assumed instinct would tell him what he needed to do and why once he’d brought a female under his control. Maybe he should have never let her speak.
“I saw something,” she went on after a short silence. “Right after I went off.”
“Saw?”
“Maybe that’s not the right word. It isn’t easy to explain. It’s nothing I can point at or take a picture of, but it existed in my mind just the same.”
He was suppose to be the one with depth and secrets. He’d become resigned to skin that didn’t fit. Now, maybe, he was learning his captive had secrets of her own.
“Tell me, please.”
“Please? That’s not a word I expected to hear from you.”
“It’s not one I thought I’d use.”
“But you did. All right.” She sighed. “I think you need to know this. It’s up to you to decide whether you believe me, or if it makes any kind of sense.”
“All right,” he said hoping to get her to continue.
“Earlier I mentioned my ability to connect with animals.”
“I remember.” Although the desire to touch her chewed at him, he sensed she needed to be alone with her thoughts.
“And I know what you become.”
Such simple words, and yet maybe the most complex he’d ever heard.
“A cougar.”
“Yes.”
“Yes?” she echoed. “Just like that, no denial on your part?”
“What would be the point? You saw it happen.”
“Yes, I did,” she whispered. “All right. In my mind I was standing on a bluff looking down into a valley. I’m sure it’s part of Sa—of Tochona. There was a cougar—you. I had absolutely no doubt I was looking at you in cougar form. You were half-awake. Not looking for something to hunt, just existing. But…”
When the silence stretched out, he placed a hand on her ankle.
“You weren’t alone,” she continued. She didn’t seem to notice the touch. “There was something around you. Dark and foglike. I sensed energy and anger in the fog, a possessiveness. It scared the hell out of me.”
His throat tightened. “Around me?”
“It was as if you’d been surrounded by a storm cloud. That’s as accurate a description as I can give you.” She started to touch his hand, only to pull back and cover her sex again. “That anger was directed at you.”
A half-lost memory laced with fear coiled through him. “Emotion, from a cloud?”
“You have to know what I’m talking about,” she insisted. “I’m not saying anything you aren’t aware of, am I? Hok’ee, I’ve sometimes touched animals that have just been killed. Even though they’re dead, I know what they experienced and felt during the final moments of their lives. It’s the last thing I want to do, but I believe I owe it to the creatures to acknowledge those emotions. I see how they died.” She shuddered. “It’s more than that. I’ve felt a bullet penetrating a deer’s heart, a car striking a dog.”
“I’m sorry.”
“So am I. That’s when I’d give anything not to be psychic, or whatever you choose to call it, but I believe I’ve been given my gift for a reason. I have to take the bad with the good.”
“I’m not so sure it’s a gift.”
“There are times when I couldn’t agree more.” Her eyes were hollowing out. “Like the time a barn fire trapped…At least what I experienced helped convict the bastard who lit the hay on fire. He’d been fired. That’s all, fired. He’d somehow convinced himself…I hope he never gets out of prison.”
A few more words from her, and he’d clutch her to him unt
il the pain was gone from her voice. Change their relationship, not that it hadn’t already morphed into something he hadn’t expected. “You don’t have to do this. If it’s too hard—”
“Yeah, I do! There are answers for you in the fog. I’m convinced of it.”
“What kind of answers?”
“You honestly don’t know what I’m talking about?”
Walk out of here. Take back your space. “There are so many holes in my past. Hell, I have no past.” He couldn’t believe he’d just admitted what he had. “No matter how much I try, I can’t remember anything except living here, me and this inner cougar that threatens to take over.”
She nodded, squeezed his hand, then let him go. “How long has it been like that?”
Although he questioned the wisdom of telling her more, he nodded. “Not a full year. I have memories of winter and spring but not fall. Anaba—he’s the same as me—says I wasn’t here when the leaves last changed color. One day I wasn’t part of him and the others, the next I was.”
“So you had another life before that, were someone else.”
Don’t say anything. Don’t let her get close. “But who, damn it?”
“Trying to find answer threatens to drive you crazy, doesn’t it?” Her whispered question stood in sharp contrast to his outburst. “Even if you don’t know what it was, you want the life that was taken from you.”
Before he could decide what, if anything, to tell her, his muscles started to heat. Cougar was stirring. If he didn’t find a way to quiet the beast, it would soon take over. Not trusting himself, he released her ankle and pressed his hands together. His nostrils flared, his chest expanded.
“It’s happening again, isn’t it?” she asked him. “The need to change. Because of what I said?”
“I’m not sure of the reason.”
“I think you are, Hok’ee.”
Determined to remain in the world he shared with her, he stared. However, her edges were losing definition, and she seemed farther away than she’d been a few minutes ago. Cougar flexed his muscles again, promising an end to human burdens.
“I’ll tell you what I think is happening,” she said. “The beast will do everything he can to keep you from hearing what I’m trying to tell you.”
The last time Cougar had assumed command, Cougar had run until his lungs and legs burned. After he’d made his kill, he’d shredded the creature’s body. “Talk,” he ground out. “I’ll try to listen.”
12
She might be looking at a man, but a predator waited just beneath the surface. Acknowledgment made, Kai started to close her eyes so she could concentrate on what she’d seen. Then, despite the risk, she grabbed Hok’ee’s wrist and brought his hand to her breast. She waited until he’d flattened her flesh, then mentally slipped into him.
Instead of the contact between them helping her see the fog scene more clearly, she caught a glimpse of something new. An athletic looking man wearing leather pants and jacket walked over to a shiny black motorcycle. After putting on a helmet, he straddled the bike and brought it to life. Large strong fingers gripping the handlebars, he looked around, and she guessed he was making sure nothing was in his way. He seemed at ease, looking forward to a ride.
Leaning forward brought her close enough to Hok’ee that his breath warmed her throat. The image in her mind momentarily darkened and then became clearer. A cell phone rang, and the man pulled off his helmet and reached into a jacket pocket. Whatever the other person said prompted a smile from him. He was on his way, he said, would be there in a few minutes. He listened, his smile fading a little. Then he said he’d get there as soon as he could. After a little more listening, he said, “All right. Good-bye.”
After returning the phone to his pocket, he put the helmet back on. Seconds later, the bike started rolling forward. Then it reared and came down screaming. Man and machine disappeared.
“You had a motorcycle,” she said. “A powerful one.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I’m telling you what I saw. I know it was you; I have no doubt of that. The bike represented something important to you, maybe the way you approached life. The scene—Hok’ee, it might have been the last day of your life.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because that’s what I asked for.”
He started to release her breast, prompting her to tighten her grip. Doing so caused the rope to rub against her wrists.
“Don’t be afraid,” she said. “And don’t fight Cougar. The closer he is to the surface, the more I’ll be able to see of what you once were.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“Yes, you do! And you want your past returned to you, don’t tell me you don’t.”
When his breathing quickened, hers followed suit. Images continued to flash. Sometimes she saw fog slip around the cougar. When that happened, the cougar bit and clawed at it. Other times, she hovered overhead while the cyclist sped down a late night highway. Sexual energy interlaced both scenes.
“Cougar,” he ground out. “Tell me what’s happening to Cougar.”
Was that him talking, or the other half of his being? Alerted to that possibility, she struggled to block out the man. “He’s standing up, backing away, but the mist keeps following him.”
“Is he afraid?”
“I—I don’t think he knows what fear is. It’s more like an innate caution, maybe a self-protective mechanism. Cougar is comfortable in his world, but when that world becomes something he’s never experienced and can’t control, he leaves. Only this time he can’t.”
“What is the fog?”
“I don’t know.” I want to. “It’s cold, terribly cold.” A sudden thought made her shiver. “Maybe—this is going to sound insane, but maybe it’s you, the man, the other half of him.”
“I’m turning into fog? Hardly.”
“I know it doesn’t make sense, but why else would Cougar want to get away? You’re the only threat to his existence.”
“Cougar threatens me, not the other way around.”
Wondering if Cougar would say the same thing, she held onto him with every bit of strength she had. “The two of you share the same body, you have to work together.”
“The hell—you try living any kind of life, not knowing when you’re going to be trampled into nothing so some beast—”
“What about when you trample Cougar? Hok’ee, that has to be what happens when he’s in control. Otherwise, the human side would never come out again.”
When Hok’ee didn’t respond, she hoped it was because he was considering what she’d said. Although she wanted to wait him out, she didn’t fight when something began pulling at her. Still holding Hok’ee’s hand, she returned to the hill and looked down at Cougar. If the predator had moved, she wasn’t aware of it. In contrast, the fog had become denser and was so cold ice had started to form on the nearby plants.
Cougar was an incredible beast. He carried himself with unconscious grace, his keen hearing and eyesight as remarkable as his muscles and fangs. She not only admired him, she would give a great deal to be able to touch him.
Mentally moving closer, she pushed into his space. Because she was used to an animal’s simple and yet complex makeup, nothing of what she found surprised her. Cougar saw, he heard, he smelled. His mind filtered the various impressions, casting off the unimportant and focusing on what he needed to know in order to survive.
But unlike the other predators she’d examined, Cougar had feelings and emotions. He might just be standing there watching the fog, but he’d already accepted it as a foe he couldn’t master. Resigned to his fate, whatever it turned out to be, he nevertheless longed to put it off as long as possible. In addition, he was determined to learn everything he could about his surroundings and hold those impressions close while he existed only as a memory. That way he’d be ready when Cougar broke free again.
It went deeper than that. Instead of simply gathering impressions and knowle
dge, Cougar ached to live fully and forever in his world. He loved the hot, sage-scented wind, the sheer canyon walls, the call of birds, the Anasazi ghosts.
Anasazi?
Shaking herself free of Cougar, Kai stared at the man sitting across from her. “Hok’ee?” Her voice squeaked, prompting her to try again. “Hok’ee, do you sense anything about the first people to live here?”
“What? I thought you were—”
“I know, but something just happened. Maybe it was just a thought, but—what do you know of the original residents?”
“The Anasazi, you mean?”
“Yes. I was in Cougar’s mind, at least I was making my way into it. Then suddenly they popped into my mind.”
“They’re still here, their ghosts anyway.”
You truly believe that? “Ghosts? That’s how you think of them?”
“Yeah. Why?”
Although she hadn’t thought of Garrin in hours, she wished she could share this moment with him. Instead, she had Hok’ee. “You aren’t the only one who feels that way. So does Cougar.”
“He’s an animal, a killer.”
“He’s more than that, and I think, on some level, you know it. Have you ever wondered if there’s any way the two of you could peacefully coexist? Instead of resenting each other’s presence, you could work together to increase—”
“He wants me dead.”
About to disagree, she closed her mouth. In essence Hok’ee shared the same physical and emotional space with Cougar. In contrast, a few hours ago she hadn’t known either of them existed. But given time and cooperation from both entities, could she bring them together?
With animosity and distrust gone, could they serve as the link to an extinct people?
Fairly shaking with excitement, she tried to hug Hok’ee. Damn the ties around her wrists. And damn him for believing he had to treat her this way.
But if she was the one with a rope, wouldn’t she try to capture man and animal?
Head throbbing, she dragged his hand off her breast. The cool cave air dried her flesh but did nothing to lessen the deep-seated heat.