A Valentine's Affair

by Eliza Dawkins

  ‘Only if you’re sure. I don’t mind staying up with you, Robert, you know this.’ Abraham always felt protective over his young brother.

  ‘Yes, I am sure, Abraham.’ Robert said with a soft sigh. His brother walked over to him and clapped him on the shoulder. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t need to; Robert knew what Abraham meant by the action.

  ‘Let me call for Silas to escort you out.’ Abraham reached for the bell cord as he spoke.

  ‘Don’t bother.’ Robert shook his head at his brother who raised an eyebrow but said nothing more. Robert always found the practice of having a servant escort quite strange. He was quite capable of exiting a house and felt patronized by being led like a child or a dog. As they stepped out of the drawing room, the brothers were soon met by a much-ready-to-depart Marchioness of Manchester.

  ‘Abe, Darling, the carriage is outside. Are you ready to leave?’ Elizabeth stepped into the foyer, pulling up her gloves. Silas, the footman, stood at the ready with her coat and hat in hand.

  ‘Yes, Lizzy, Dear. I was simply putting on my nightcap with Rob.’ Abraham lifted the nearly empty glass to his lips, tipped back the amber liquid, and grinned jovially as he set the empty glass on the side table.

  ‘Are you coming to Hemlock Hall, Robert?’ She slipped her arms into the coat sleeves as Silas lifted it on to her shoulders.

  ‘Not tonight, Elizabeth.’ He leaned down and gently placed a kiss on her cheek. ‘But thank you for the welcome. And thank you for this delicious dinner.’

  ‘It wasn’t my dinner, Robert. This is Charles and Helena’s home now. It is my sister you should be thanking as hostess.’ Elizabeth adjusted her hat.

  ‘Then I must give her my compliments.’ A sly grin slid across his strong jaw.

  ‘I’m afraid I have already tucked her in as well, Darling. You will simply have to give your adieu’s some other time.’ Elizabeth slid her arm into Abraham’s waiting elbow.

  ‘Follow us out, Rob?’ Abraham slipped his top hat onto his head.

  ‘I'll be right behind you. I left my pocket watch beside the armchair in the drawing room.’ Robert needed a little bit of space between his brother and himself. The three said their goodnights to one another before Robert made his way back to the drawing room.

  Taking a moment for his thoughts, he finished his brandy he had merely been sipping. Robert leaned against the fireplace mantle, reminiscing over the years with his wife which were now long gone.

  ‘Oh! Forgive me, my lord. I thought everyone retired for the evening.’ Livingston, the dedicated, long-serving butler, softly made his apologies to Lord Robert.

  Robert was quickly pulled from his sorrows. ‘It’s quite alright, Mr…?’

  ‘Livingston, my lord.’ He bowed his head slightly.

  ‘Livingston. Yes, my brother speaks of you in high regard.’ Robert stood upright, setting his glass upon the mantle. ‘I do need to be making my way.’

  ‘Your carriage is waiting for you just outside, my lord.’

  ‘Thank you, Livingston. I’ll be leaving then.’

  ‘Very good, my lord.’ The butler stood at attention, nodding in acknowledgment. ‘Shall I see you out?’ He was privy to earlier conversations and desired to remain on favourable terms with the young lord.

  ‘No need, Livingston. I know my way.’

  ‘Good-night then, my lord.’

  ‘So long, Livingston. And thanks, again.’ Lord Robert smiled politely as Livingston returned the gesture.

  Heading into the foyer towards the front door, Lord Robert was completely immersed in thought, and was oblivious to his surroundings or that anyone else was around him until he, quite literally, bumped into someone and heard a thump on the ground by his feet. Lord Robert quickly cleared his head and looked down to see who he collided with.

  Oh, what an utterly breath-taking sight it was! One which made him forget all his worries and focus only on what was in front of him. There laid Lady Helena, in a plain, white dress which made her look like an angel in the soft, flickering light of the candles. Her hair fell around her, framing her face. The way her eyes glistened…

  She looks more elegant than any painting I have ever seen! How I long to touch this living art, a woman whose words are so curt, personality so fiery, and a Venus who can look this beautiful in a simple, modest white dress. Lady Helena is not real; she is an angel sent to guide me – or possibly a minor of the devil sent to tempt me.

  Lord Robert shook himself from his thoughts and extended a hand to help Lady Helena to her feet. Immediately, he felt a spark of electricity when their hands met; he was certain she felt it too. Lord Robert placed a hand on her waist as he helped her into a standing position and suddenly, unable to help himself, blurted from his mouth what his mind was thinking.

  ‘I can’t decide if you are an angel to help me or a demon to tempt me.’ Lord Robert gruffly whispered to Lady Helena before closing the distance between them. He pressed his lips towards hers. Lady Helena adeptly turned her head before he could follow through with the kiss. Immediately, she pushed him away.

  ‘Lord Robert!’ Lady Helena exclaimed in a harsh whisper. The words she was ready to spew died on her tongue when he laughed.

  Was this all a joke to him? Was he leaning in for a kiss to see how desperate I am?

  ‘I should be going.’ Lord Robert said, as if what he almost did finally started to settle in his mind. Lady Helena was still too stunned to say a word in reply. As she watched him leave, Helena felt the stirrings of something she spent her whole life avoiding. She felt as if the mysterious attempt to kiss her in the shadows of the darkness caused her to dwell on the one dear face that gladdened her life while love crept around her heart’s flutter.

  Chapter Four ~ An Adventure in Riding

  Lady Helena was taking a stroll through the gardens, pondering over the previous night’s events.

  Was it possible for such a younger man to find me so attractive?

  She gazed at her advanced and hopeless celibacy, thinking of the attention young men bestowed on favoured ladies. How on earth could she ever compare to their youth and beauty? With Valentine’s Day mere weeks away, Helena’s romantic side kept her mind stirring of the possibilities to see her own valentine on the anticipated day of love.

  In Helena’s readings, a legend of St. Valentine’s Day spurred her hidden devotion for the day of sweethearts and love poems. According to her beloved books, the first gentleman an unmarried lady beheld on the day was to be her valentine. If she glanced out her window and saw a gentleman, then the man of her gaze would be her Valentine, although he may be a complete stranger to her.

  Oh, if St. Valentine’s legend were only true. Then my fate of spinsterhood would be banished forever.

  Suddenly, a recognizable glimpse of dark hair not far from where she stood pulled her from her thoughts. Quickly, Lady Helena veered in the other direction away from Lord Robert, still angry at him for his painful joke the night before. Unsure as to the young lord’s intentions, Lady Helena’s mind began to race as she saw him leading two horses behind him, confidently walking towards her.

  ‘Lady Helena, wait.’ Lord Robert called as she picked up her pace. However, there was a tone in his voice, a tone sweet and pleading, which made her stop and turn in his direction.

  ‘Yes, my lord?’ Lady Helena asked with a polite smile. ‘Was there something you needed? I don’t believe your brother is here.’ She nodded in the direction of the house.

  ‘I’m not here for my brother.’ Lord Robert said. He soon noticed he was breathing hard, but he wasn’t quite sure if it was from rushing or from talking to Lady Helena.

  ‘Oh?’ Lady Helena asked as she felt butterflies start to flit in her stomach. ‘What are you here for, Lord Robert?’ Lady Helena’s eyelashes fluttered slightly.

  ‘You.’ Lord Robert said without thinking, then he quickly added. ‘Forgive me, Lady Helena. I meant to say I am here to see you; to apologize for my behaviour last night.
It was deplorable at worst and unkind at best. You have done no action to deserve such disgrace.’ Lord Robert’s youthful eyes showed his genuineness as he spoke.

  Lord Robert is apologizing to me. Oh, my! He looks absolutely lovely in the sunshine and deeply, deeply apologetic. Maybe his laughter last night was only out of nervousness -- awkwardness even. I want nothing more than to lean in and kiss the sad look on his face away, but I can’t. I shouldn’t, and I won’t.

  Lady Helena completely caught up in her own mind, took a moment to realize Lord Robert was waiting for a response. The horses behind him were starting to get restless; they needed a good run. As she was gazing at the horses, she noticed one of them was Jubilee, her trusty steed. Lady Helena gave Lord Robert a small smile.

  ‘Thank you, my lord.' Lady Helena nodded at him, and he seemed to beam with her forgiveness. ‘May I ask why you have my Jubilee?'

  ‘I was hoping you would accompany me riding today. It’s a fine day for a hunt, my lady.’ Lord Robert explained.

  ‘I thought you were against women hunting.’ Lady Helena stated as she walked past him to pet Jubilee.

  ‘I thought you weren’t the type to let other’s thoughts influence your own.’ Lord Robert countered. Lady Helena looked over her horse at Lord Robert. Her mind raced with thoughts and emotions. She loved to hunt but was worried about what would happen if they spent too much time alone together. ‘But, my lord, we have no hunting gear; no guns, no picker-up, nothing of the sort.’

  ‘Matthew is pulling up the rear with all we need. I asked him to give me a head start.’ Lord Robert gave her a sly grin, symbolizing his deepest intentions.

  ‘You aren’t planning on going hunting again, are you?’ Lady Helena heard the sneer in her brother’s voice quite clearly as he arrived in her view. Unbeknownst to her, Charles talked his way out of his lessons and ran straight to the gardens when he saw Lord Robert had arrived. ‘Well, Helena, are you going to answer me or not?’

  It took all self-control and patience Helena possessed to not squabble with her brother right there before Lord Robert. Well, that was it. She was going hunting with Lord Robert if only to annoy her sniveling little brother.

  ‘I can’t very well turn down an offer from such a polite gentleman, now can I?’ Helena smiled smugly at her brother, before giving Lord Robert a much gentler smile as he helped her up onto her horse. With a kick of her heels, she and Jubilee were off.

  ‘Wait, Lady Helena, your riding gear!’ Lord Robert called as he and his horse chased after her.

  ‘Don’t need it.’ Lady Helena laughed over her shoulder. She revelled in the exhilarating feeling of the wind through her hair and the freedom which came with riding; it made her feel alive. Looking back, she noticed she couldn’t shake Lord Robert from Jubilee’s heels. Honestly, she figured he would lack the skill to keep up with her.

  Throughout their ride, there were a few moments when Lord Robert was even able to overtake her. Those moments, though only a few, boosted Lady Helena to run Jubilee in a manner far ahead of her opponent. Lady Helena ran without a worry about Lord Robert’s ability to catch up. However, he fared much better than she imagined he would.

  He must have a good horse, thought Lady Helena as she saw how easily he was matching her pace. It’s not likely a man so young can have such command over a horse, especially a horse borrowed and not his own. He looks delightful on horseback, riding each hoof-step with ease. Almost god-like with the way the wind catches his hair -- No. I mustn’t think of Lord Robert in such a way; I am far his senior.

  Lady Helena saw a jump not too far ahead and knew it would be a perfect way to lose him. She and Jubilee could easily jump high enough over it; if Lord Robert bore any sense, he wouldn’t even try. Besides…Jubilee and I will be long gone before Lord Robert knows what happened.

  The jump was quickly approaching as Lady Helena whispered words of encouragement to her steed.

  As predicted, the horse and rider cleared the jump with ease and grace. Assuming Lord Robert stopped, Lady Helena glanced over to her side, only to suddenly see his horse running past her -- without Lord Robert astride him. Instantly, Lady Helena turned Jubilee around and started back to the jump.

  She dismounted as soon as she saw where Lord Robert had fallen from his horse. She took Jubilee’s reins and gently tied her to a nearby branch. Lady Helena all but ran to Lord Robert’s side.

  ‘You stupid, stupid fool!’ she cried when she saw Lord Robert was not seriously injured. ‘You really are a beef-witted man! What were you thinking even attempting a jump so high?’ Lady Helena scolded the younger man, barely refraining from hitting him across his chest out of fear and frustration. Surprisingly, the realization hit her how heartbroken she would’ve been if any harm happened to him.

  ‘I was thinking of impressing you.’ Lord Robert wheezed out, smiling through his pain.

  ‘You really are dicked in the nob, aren’t you, Lord Robert?’ Lady Helena let out a small laugh as she helped him sit up against a tree trunk. She noticed him flinch when she touched his shoulder. ‘My lord? Are you sure you are not in need of a doctor?’

  ‘Perhaps one for my delirium. Am I crazy simply because I want to impress you, my lady?’ Lord Robert flirted, whispering the words to Lady Helena.

  ‘I am not your lady to impress, Lord Robert.’ Lady Helena kept her voice stern; somebody needed to be the adult between them.

  ‘Ah, but what about the kiss last night?’ Lord Robert asked, enjoying the blush that coloured Lady Helena’s cheeks as she looked away.

  ‘There was no such kiss, and you know it.' Lady Helena glanced back at Lord Robert and wagged her finger at him. Lord Robert managed to reply with a pained laugh.

  ‘And yet I’ve thought of only of your lips since our moment of solitude.’ The pain was starting to lessen its hold on Lord Robert’s shoulder. He reached over and caressed Lady Helena’s lips which he almost kissed the night before.

  ‘Lord Robert!’ Lady Helena chastised him with a gasp, pulling her face from his heated touch. ‘You are completely inappropriate.’ She added quieter, against her higher wishes.

  ‘Why is it so inappropriate? You and I are both adults, are we not?’ Lord Robert whispered, despite the fact they were alone. ‘You really are the most beautiful woman I have laid my eyes upon.’ Lord Robert said honestly, wanting to reach his hand up to tuck a fallen piece of her hair behind her ear.

  ‘You’re delirious from the pain.’ Lady Helena said to him. ‘I am not beautiful. I imagine I once was, but now my youth and my beauty have passed me by.’

  ‘That is not true, Lady Helena. That is far from the truth.’ Lord Robert assured Lady Helena. ‘If I asked you to kiss me, a poor injured man, what would you say?’

  ‘I would say I am far too old for you, my lord, and you should only be kissing young women closer to your own age.’ Lady Helena stood up, desperate to put distance between the two of them to clear her head.

  ‘But Lady Helena--’ Lord Robert started but was quickly interrupted by Lady Helena.

  ‘We should be getting back to the manor, Lord Robert.’ She helped him up from the ground. ‘Come along, you can ride on the back of my horse.’

  It was only when they were astride Jubilee, riding relaxed in the trot towards Delaport Manor, that Lord Robert pushed his limits and wrapped his arms around Lady Helena. As she felt his arms tighten around her waist, the stirring of feelings overtook her insides. Undoubtedly, she knew they would not go away on their own. For the short ride, Lady Helena decided to let them flourish and merely enjoy the proximity of Lord Robert's young and tantalizing presence.

  Chapter Five ~ Passion and Heartache

  The Chipping Weekly Observer, January 22, 1819

  Aunt Ellie’s Advice for Ladies

  Dear Aunt Ellie,

  I fear you are the only one I can come to with this matter. I have long been a spinster and have given up on ever finding love, especially since my parents' recent passing in a carriage accide
nt. To my surprise, a man has fallen in love with me, and I may have fallen in love with him! I am much older than he and I worry he will grow up to realize he does not love me. Even if it wasn't to happen, I cannot give him an heir to his holdings because of an injury from my childhood.

  I cannot go to anyone with this problem, Aunt Ellie. Not my sister or her husband, the man’s brother! What am I to do?

  --Torn

  Dear Torn,

  My, my! What a problem you have here. This will not be as easy to fix as stains on a dress or instructions on how to help make a cake rise. My advice to you as it would be to anyone who finds themselves in love, young or old, is to follow your heart. You never know where it might lead.

  Yours loyally, not to say elli-estically,

  --Aunt Ellie

  To my loyal readers, all requests for advice on matters of concern are welcome. Please submit inquiries on single parchment. Address these to Aunt Ellie’s Ladies’ Advice Column, care of The Chipping Weekly Observer, Chipping. Letters must reach our offices not later than the second Friday of each month to be included in the next month’s weekly editions. Please indicate if you desire a private answer. Once answered, letters are not retained.

  ~~~

  It was a few days after the riding incident when Helena decided her only course of action was to write a letter to the local advice columnist, Aunt Ellie. Helena knew she couldn’t go to anyone in her family for their opinion. Even though she often thought of asking Honora’s opinion on the matter, she couldn’t bear to have a lady’s maid pity her for falling for such a younger man.

  It was a few days after said decision when Helena's reading in the extensive library was abruptly interrupted by a furious Elizabeth holding a copy of The Chipping Weekly Observer.

  ‘Helena! What did you think you were doing when you wrote this obvious letter?’ Elizabeth asked by way of a greeting. ‘Anyone who knows you or of Robert will be able to tell who this is about, pseudonym or no pseudonym.’