“Wait, I get it now!” I said, turning to Director Z. “I’m remembering back to when you saved the statue from the candle in the tower, François. You were terrified it would burn. Tikoloshe told you to treat the statue with respect, to protect it, but he didn’t tell you why. He didn’t want anyone to know.”
“Know what?” asked Director Z.
“That the statue is his source of power,” I said. “If we destroy it, he’ll lose his grip on The House of Eternal Rest. Why else would he care about the statue? It would be meaningless to him.”
“Well, let’s hurry up and destroy the thing,” said Gordon.
“Yes, now more than ever, we need to move quickly,” said Director Z. “While we were searching for clues, I spoke with Principal Prouty. Things are not going well at home—”
“My grades?!” asked Ben. He turned white. “Are my grades okay? Have the Nurses ruined them?”
“Everything is as it was, and the Nurses are doing the best they can to impersonate you in your home and at school. But your parents are now well aware that something is wrong, and we can’t continue the charade much longer.”
“What happened?” I asked.
“It was a combination of us doing this for far too long—it’s been a month now, you know—and the fact that your father just came back from Afghanistan,” said Director Z.
“Dad’s home?” I asked, suddenly feeling homesick.
“It took a lot of doing, but we were able to have someone meet him at the airport,” continued Director Z. “I feel bad for him, having served our country so well, only to be tricked when he got home. Still, as well as we did covering up your disappearance, your father’s return upset the whole balance, and I fear we have only a few more days to keep the illusion in place.”
“We’d better get back, then,” said Nabila.
“All right,” said François. “To the tower! Rangda, tweet to all your followers about what’s happening. And I suggest you change your handle.”
“Let’s get the statue,” said Gordon, running out of Rangda’s room. “Yeah. YeaaaAAAAAAHHHH, NO!”
Gordon clutched his face and fell to the ground.
Lakes of Snakes
Gordon moaned in pain.
The monsters stopped in their tracks.
“What is it?” I said, rushing over to him.
“My zit!” moaned Gordon. “The big one. It hurts so bad again. Like it’s drilling into my head.”
I looked at his face and saw the swollen, ugly, massive red bubble on his forehead. It jiggled a little.
“Oh man, is something moving in there?” asked Ben. He choked back a little barf. “HHHHHWhat should we do?”
“Don’t make fun of me,” Gordon said to Ben. “Your zits aren’t looking so good, either.”
Ben felt the bumps all over his face and looked panicked.
There was something moving inside Gordon’s zit, but I couldn’t let him know. “It probably just got annoyed when the soccer ball hit your face,” I said as calmly as I could.
“I need a mirror,” said Gordon. “Who’s got a mirror? I’ve got to pop this thing.”
I looked over at Shane and Nabila, shook my head, and mouthed, I don’t think he should pop it.
“There’s one in my room, dearie,” said Betty.
“All right, we can’t let Gordon do this alone,” I said. “Monsters, get up to that statue and destroy it!”
“You heard what he said,” said François. “Move it.”
My friends and I rushed down to Betty’s room. There was a small bathroom with a toilet and a sink.
Gordon looked into the mirror at the massive, swollen zit on his face. He raised his index fingers toward his forehead . . .
“Get ready,” I said to the others.
“Ready?” Gordon asked. “What do you guys have to get ready for?”
I looked around the bathroom for something to defend myself from the snake when it flew out of Gordon’s face. I saw an oversize toilet plunger.
“I really don’t think you should pop that,” said Shane.
“I can’t take it anymore,” moaned Gordon. “It’s got to go!”
“I wish I had the courage,” said Ben, peering into the mirror. “But I’m just going to have to let these pop on their own.”
“Did your zits just double in size?” I asked Ben.
“I don’t know,” he shrieked. “This is the first time I’ve seen them.”
Gordon positioned his fingers on either side of the zit and grunted hard. The zit turned an ugly white but stayed intact.
Gordon brought his hands down. “Arrrrgh, this is so frustrating!”
“It’s okay,” said Shane. “You should leave it alone. That was—”
But before Shane could finish his sentence, Gordon planted his thumbs on either side of the zit, gritted his teeth, and bore down on the zit double-time.
“GRRRRRRRR,” Gordon grunted, and sweat began to pour down his face.
He paused for a moment, took a deep breath, and then pushed his thumbs into either side again.
“AHHHHHHHHHH!” Gordon screamed, shaking as he pressed harder and harder until—
CRUNCHSPLAT!
A huge snake, along with a spray of blood and pus, flew out of Gordon’s forehead, hit the mirror with a FWAP, and plopped into the sink.
Gordon was so relieved, he had no idea what had happened. “YEAH!” he yelled. “That felt GREAT!”
Ben, who was so white now that his zits looked beet-red, moved to the side so Gordon could reach the toilet paper.
I raised the plunger like a baseball bat and approached the sink.
HISSSSSSSS!
The snake shot out of the sink straight at my face.
“Aaaargh!” I yelled, hitting the snake with the plunger before it could sink its tiny little dagger teeth into my face. It flopped onto the floor and slithered toward the door.
“Get out of here!” Nabila yelled. She jumped up as the snake quickly slithered between her feet and out of Betty’s room.
“Guys!” yelled Ben. “When the snake hissed, something happened to my face.”
“What do you mean?” asked Shane.
“Ben!” Nabila screeched, pointing.
The zits on his face had grown almost Gordon-size.
I reached up to feel my face boiling over, too.
“Yeah, I think you should pop those,” said Shane. “Just aim in that direction.” Shane pointed to the door.
GURRRRRPLE GWUUURBLE GLUB!
The toilet started to bubble, and a huge snake with red eyes slithered out and flopped onto the floor.
HISSSSSSSSS.
“Everyone out!” I yelled.
As I turned to run, I could hear the toilet bubble again.
FLOP.
“Another one!” Shane yelled.
Tiny snakes poured out of the vents in the hallway. We had to dodge them as we ran down the hall and passed the cave room with the hole in the ceiling.
FLOP HISS FLOP HISS FLOP HISS.
Snakes were pouring in and made a scaly, slithering lake in the center of the room.
“They’re coming from everywhere!” Nabila yelled.
We sprinted down the hall, and at the exact moment we couldn’t hear the hissing anymore, Ben fell to his knees and clutched his face.
“My face!” he yelled. “It feels all hot and bubbly. Ugh, now I know how that zombie corpse that fell on me felt.”
“Let me see,” I said.
He moved his hands and—
POP! POP! POP!
Three snakes flew out of Ben’s zits and hit my chest.
“Eeee!” I yelled, and brushed off the snake.
STOMP!
Roy crushed the snakes with his massive furry foot.
“Roy!” I yel
led. “Help us!”
“Help you?” he said. “Help me! There are snakes everywhere!” He ran past us and kept going in the direction we had come from.
“Wait!” I yelled. “There are more that way!”
Roy turned around. “Then we’re trapped!” he said. “They’re upstairs, too!”
“Guys?” whimpered Ben. “I think one is still in my face.”
“Oh man, he’s got a tail coming out of that other zit,” Gordon said.
“Well, don’t just stand there,” yelled Ben. “Get it out!”
Shane leaned down and snatched the tail. He pulled the snake out slowly.
“Arrgh!” said Ben. “It feels so gross!”
“Almost,” said Shane.
SCHLOOOCK!
The snake came out, and Shane tossed it.
It hit Roy.
EEEEEEEEE!
“What were you thinking?” yelled Roy.
“Sorry,” said Shane.
HISSSSSSSSSS.
“The snakes are getting closer,” I said. “Everybody, let’s move.”
We ran down the hallway and toward the main section of the dungeon. Just when we hit the main room, a river of snakes of all shapes and sizes slithered down the stairs. Each one had eyes that glowed red.
“I told you the snakes were this way,” said Roy.
HISSSSSSSSSSS.
The snakes from the hallway slithered in.
We were surrounded.
“What are we going to do?” Nabila asked.
I held up my pendant. “Snakes, obey your master!”
The snakes slithered even closer.
“Not quite yet, my friends!” yelled a high-pitched voice. I felt like it was right next to me.
Something snatched my pendant out of my hand and floated in the air in front of me.
“These children deserve to die, yes they do,” said the voice. Slowly, Tikoloshe’s leathery, wart-covered face appeared, crooked nose first, in front of me. “But not yet.”
He was barely three and a half feet tall. He looked like a mess, from his crazy hair to his holey clothes to his dirty feet that scratched impatiently at the floor. He stared at the pendant with bug eyes.
“Man, you’re even uglier in person,” said Gordon.
Tikoloshe threw back his head and giggled an insane giggle.
Immediately, another huge zit formed on Gordon’s forehead.
Enter Tikoloshe
Tikoloshe’s snakes herded us into the main room of the dungeon and then surrounded us. François and I stood in the center, away from everyone else.
“I take it that you didn’t destroy the statue?” I asked François.
“Do you even need to bring it up?” he asked.
“Where’s Director Z?” I asked.
A giant serpent, the biggest of Tikoloshe’s snakes I had seen so far, slithered into the room with Director Z in its jaws. It put him down gently next to me and then slithered away.
“Serpent fangs are one of the few things in this world that can ruin my suits,” said Director Z. “I knew I should have packed a spare.”
I looked around to see that all of my friends and all of the monsters from Gallow Manor were still here. There were fewer residents of The House of Eternal Rest, and many of the ones that remained were barely able to stand.
I looked up at the monkey on my shoulder. “How have you been? I almost forgot you were there.” He gave me a small thumbs-up with his little black monkey hand.
“What happened?” I asked François.
“There was much confusion,” said François. “The few residents who were with us in the room to hear my confession knew what was happening. Many others did not, and we were slowed down on the way to the tower. The adzes were especially upset, and it didn’t help that while I tried to explain to them what was going on, as we neared the entrance to the tower, Tikoloshe and his snakes began their relentless attack.”
François’s eyes began to well with tears.
“The residents who didn’t know what was happening with Tikoloshe—that he was the enemy—didn’t put up any fight at all. They were eaten alive.”
“Why haven’t we been eaten alive?” I asked.
“I think we’re about to find out,” said Director Z, and he pointed ahead.
Tikoloshe walked into the room with the three adzes buzzing excitedly around his head. He walked toward Director Z, François, and me. The snakes that were in front of us parted as he made his way.
“Well, well, well,” said Tikoloshe in his high voice. “I thought The House of Eternal Rest was all mine. Until you two came along.” He wiggled a gnarled, dirty finger at Director Z and me.
“François,” Tikoloshe said, turning to face him. “Ooooooh, I’m quite disappointed in you.”
François was at least twice the size of Tikoloshe, but the large bat shook with fear. The small imp reached up and slapped François’s cheek a few times.
SLAP SLAP SLAP.
“Bad bat,” Tikoloshe scolded. “Very bad bat.” SLAP “I hope that the pain . . .” SLAP “. . . I unleashed upon your residents . . .” SLAP “. . . with my slithery friends . . .” SLAP SLAP “. . . will keep you from making such a stupid mistake in the future.”
“You are too kind, Master,” whimpered François. “I am here to serve you.”
“Oh, you’ll serve me, for sure,” said Tikoloshe. “But you’re not second-in-command anymore! Kossi, the lead adze, will now keep an eye on you while I’m away. Grace and Hervé, the other adzes, will assist him. I have many places to be. I’m quite busy all over Africa, but I’ll soon gather my forces here. Yes, once things are in order elsewhere.”
Tikoloshe rubbed one of the two pendants—my pendant—between his fingers and giggled.
“Oooh, I’m glad you showed up, young American,” Tikoloshe said to me. He walked right up to me, lifted the pendant, stuck out a slimy black tongue, and licked it. “The more power, the merrier,” he said around his tongue.
“Why do you need this power?” I said. “Leave these old monsters alone.”
“Oh, I don’t need this power,” Tikoloshe said. “I didn’t even want this power. But now that I’m here, there’s no stopping me.”
“Monsterdom is recovering from its worst setback in history,” Director Z said, stepping up. “Only by working together shall—”
Tikoloshe held up a hand. “Oh, blah, blah, blah, boohoo, human,” he said. “I know monsterdom is recovering from its worst setback in history. The timing is perfect. Everyone is so weak!”
“But if you don’t need this power,” I said, “why bother?”
“Because it’s just so much fun,” said Tikoloshe, doing a little dance as he slipped my pendant over his head. “My life has been getting pretty stressful. Work is hard. Why, just before I got here, I was in South Africa pestering a family, pretending to be the spirit of their dead grandfather, setting them against one another while his will was figured out. That’s some hard work! When I was called through my statue to this place, I saw a great opportunity—a chance to build my powers, up, up, up! Not just here in Africa, but everywhere in the world. And the best part was—it would be easy!
“The minds of monsters all over the world are so weak. I willed monsters here from thousands of miles away. I whispered sweet nothings in their ears, made them crazy with false hope. I made them think they were younger than they were, all the while sapping their energies and building up my powers.”
“Fine,” I said. “I give up. I pledged my allegiance to you. I’ll cooperate in any way you like. But leave the monsters alone.”
“Chris!” gasped Director Z.
“Oh, those silly words that François made you say?” said Tikoloshe. “Those were meaningless. I was just playing with you. I don’t need your allegiance or your life. But
when the time is right and your energies are ripe, I will kill you and steal the energies of your afterlife. Oh, it was a HOOT watching you all bow down. And that trick François pulled on Roy? So worth having my statue almost break. Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!”
“You were there for that?” I asked.
“Oh, yeah, he was there for that,” said François. “He was the one who gave me the idea.”
“You. Never. Know. When. I’ll. Be. There,” said Tikoloshe.
I got so angry that my face itched and crawled. “You’re nothing but a bully,” I screamed, and as I screamed . . .
POP!
. . . my head shot back.
A small snake flew at Tikoloshe as I fell into Director Z’s arms.
Tikoloshe dodged the snake quickly, and it hit the floor with a plop.
“Go find your friends, little one,” said Tikoloshe.
The snake slithered away, leaving a trail of pus behind it.
My face throbbed.
“Oh, I see you’ve been enjoying the gift I gave you,” giggled Tikoloshe. “That’s going to get worse before it gets better. Yes, much worse, if you disobey me! If the snake zits aren’t enough to convince you to behave, this lovely creature will ensure that you do.”
POP!
With a flash, Kossi, the lead adze, took human form and walked directly toward me.
He looked deep into my eyes.
I want you to be very, very frightened, said Kossi’s voice in my head.
“I am frightened,” I said back.
“What are you doing?” Director Z asked. “Kossi, look away this instant!”
“How does it look inside the young American’s mind?” Tikoloshe asked. “Is it empty? Tell me it’s empty.”
“Empty, my lord,” Kossi hissed as he looked through my eyes and into my brain. “Very empty, indeed.”
Tikoloshe giggled.
Now, keep looking frightened. This will not take long. I am sorry. But look terrified for me.
I began to cry.
“Leave me alone,” I whimpered.
“Chris!” Director Z yelled. He grabbed me by the shoulders, but a huge boa constrictor wrapped itself around his leg and yanked him back.
Listen very closely to me. I am tricking the trickster. I promised Tikoloshe my services. But I side with you. I side with us. Tikoloshe has one weakness. I cannot speak of it, for fear of being heard, even after Tikoloshe leaves us. But I can tell you with my mind. Inkanyamba, the Master Serpent of Africa, is not under Tikoloshe’s control. Until Tikoloshe controls Inkanyamba, he won’t truly have control of the snakes and slitheries of Africa, as Inkanyamba could take them back at any time. Do you understand?
Zits from Python Pit #6 Page 10