by Bell, Julia
Lady Waltham winked at him. “Why do I get the impression that Mrs Asquith is talking about the game of life and not cards?”
I grinned at her perception. A drama queen she might be, but she had more about her than anyone might hope to expect. It’s a pity she hadn’t instilled some of her attributes in that spoilt daughter of hers.
But little Lady Abigail Waltham was going to turn out to be more than just a spoilt and unruly child. She would have a profound impact on my feelings for the son that I cherished and the daughter I was starting to love.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The following morning was bitterly cold, but it was decided that we would all walk down to the river. Lady Waltham was adamant that none of us would be cooped up in the house as long as the sun shone. Only two people were excused, the Viscount and Viscountess Shelbrook. She because of her poor health and he because he thought it only right to stay behind and keep her company. I was glad that I wouldn’t have Karl’s presence to distract me. I hadn’t seen him at breakfast and had been told he was staying with his wife until after luncheon. Perhaps it was a simple case of not wanting to leave her on her own or was it that he wished to keep as much distance between us as possible? But I was content with the arrangement. I needed to sort out my tangled thoughts.
As we strolled along, our coats pulled tightly round us against the brisk wind, I wondered at my feelings for the man that I had come to know as Karl. I had fallen in love with him while we had been so close and had found it difficult to push his memory to the back of my mind. Meeting him again had been a revelation.
At first, he had seemed like the man that I had grown to love. That was until he had met my son and then everything had changed. He had ceased being the Karl I had known and had become Viscount Shelbrook. Proud, moody and I suspected, rather prejudiced. I wondered if I should tell him the truth about myself. Tell him that I had been a widow for almost nine years. But then I thought better of it. Why should I? I didn’t have to explain anything. I had entered our agreement as Miss Isabelle Pritchard for my own specific reasons. And those reasons still held. I didn’t want to disgrace my darling husband’s name and I would keep true to his memory by refusing to justify my actions to a man who had no further claim over me. Viscount Shelbrook would have to wallow in his own mire of resentment since I didn’t intend to lift a finger to help him out of it.
“You’re quiet,” said Eloise, as we reached the river.
“Just going over my thoughts.”
“I hope they’re happy thoughts. I know you’ve been here less than twenty-four hours but are you enjoying yourself?”
I nodded. “I’m having a wonderful time.” I looked ahead where Danny, Emily and Abigail were running down to the river. “And I know Danny is enjoying himself.”
“He’s getting on very well with Emily, but I’m not so sure about Abigail.”
I pursed my lips. “She seems such a pampered little girl. I’m sure that will not bode well as she grows older.”
Eloise gave a long sigh. “It’s been the same way since she was born. Penelope can’t have any more children, so they’ve doted on her and haven’t enforced the necessary discipline, as they ought. Unlike your Danny, who is such a well-bred young man.”
“They say it’s difficult to be a mother and father to a child, but I found it quite easy. I just lay down firm rules that he had to obey. Children like to have boundaries, it makes them feel protected.”
“And you’ve done it without a male figure to guide him.”
“I think that’s why I like to look out for him. He’s my responsibility, my little boy.”
“He is, but I’ve noticed you’re giving him more rein here than you did in Eastbourne.”
This amused me. “In a house the size of Claythorpe it’s difficult to keep track where he is.” I decided to do some investigating of my own. “Emily is an only child too, but her mother and father have brought her up to be polite and considerate.”
“Brett is a wonderful father to her.”
“And Lady Shelbrook?”
“She tires easily,” she answered lightly, but I could see by her stiff expression that she was concerned about the situation.
“Perhaps she never fully recovered from Emily’s birth,” I said.
Eloise smiled. “Oh, Emily isn’t Brett and Angelique’s natural daughter. In fact, Angelique is unable to have children.”
I tried to pretend surprise at this morsel of news. “So where did Emily come from?”
“It’s no secret, so there’s no harm in telling you. They adopted her. Went across to France to fetch her home. Lady Shelbrook’s parents are the Duc and Duchesse de St Julienne and they like to help young girls who find themselves in what’s euphemistically called ‘the family way’. They’re very good-hearted when it comes to that kind of thing. They knew of a young girl in trouble and made all the arrangements for them to take her baby.”
I found swallowing difficult. “Didn’t the mother ever want to keep in touch with her daughter?”
“Oh, no. From what I heard, she wasn’t interested in the child. But it was probably for the best since she lived in France and Emily was brought to England. Anyway, no doubt they paid her and I’m sure the money was more important to her.”
“Even so, she gave them a lovely little girl.” I knew my voice was stilted as I struggled with the truth of her words.
She shrugged. “True, my dear. And would you believe it, there are times when Emily has a look of Brett about her. Now isn’t that silly?” I nodded, trying to hold back tears. She gave a sigh “Yes, circumstances are very difficult when a young girl is pregnant and unwed. Society can be very cruel and perhaps it’s better if her baby is adopted and taken off her hands.”
We stood beside the river and watched the children throwing stones into its bluish grey depths.
“It’s so cold today,” I said, shivering. But I knew the coldness came from within me.
Eloise glanced skywards. “We’re definitely going to have some rain and perhaps even snow. When the river freezes, we go skating on it. It’s such fun.” She turned to me. “You know about the Christmas ball tonight?” I nodded, remembering the talk at breakfast. “People are invited from all over and it will be held in the grand ballroom. Have you seen it?” I shook my head. “You must go and take a look. It’s in the west wing. The musicians should arrive about six-thirty and it starts at seven. There will be food provided and we’ll dance the night away.”
I gave a half-smile, our previous topic had left me feeling drained. Danny and Emily running towards me saved me from making any comment.
“Mama, there’s a rope attached to the tree. May we swing on it?”
I looked across to where a long length of thick hemp was tied to a branch of an old elm that leaned precariously over the river. The rope dangled inches away from the surface of the water and probably five feet from the bank.
“No, dearest. It doesn’t look safe. You might fall in.”
“I told him that we swing on it and plop into the water to swim. But only in the summer,” said Emily showing wisdom beyond her years.
Eloise grimaced. “Quite right too. It’s too cold now and the rope will be slippery with frost and you could easily lose your grip. The water will be freezing.” She smiled at me. “They really should take it down through the colder months, but it’s been there for years and tends to get forgotten.”
Abigail strolled up. “I’ve swung on it when it’s been snowing.”
Danny was obviously impressed. “That was very brave of you. Didn’t your hands get cold?”
She gave him a withering look. “I wore gloves, foolish boy.”
“Well, you shouldn’t have swung on the rope in winter,” said Emily. “It’s against the rules.”
“It wasn’t winter, so there. It was April and that’s spring and anyway rules are meant to be broken.” Abigail tossed her head and walked away.
My heart quickened. Had she heard Karl say
that? If she had then he was teaching her bad habits that could have terrible consequences. There was no time to ponder further as Lady Waltham was gathering her flock to usher us indoors for luncheon. I was very relieved and as I turned to go, I glanced back at the rope swinging gently in the breeze. It seemed malevolent and I shuddered.
Luncheon was in the usual buffet-style and I spent the hour chatting to the other guests, especially Mrs Cannings who turned out to be a very interesting elderly lady who was well travelled. She told me of her years in Ceylon when her husband owned a tea plantation. She had enjoyed her time out there and spoke fervently of going back to live one day.
By the time the meal was over I felt in much better spirits. The gloom that had descended on me during our walk was fading away. I decided to spend some time on my own and find the magnificent ballroom that Eloise had spoken of and at the same time, see more of this wonderful old house.
I made my way along the gallery that ran the whole length of the building from the west to the east wing. This room was a wonder in itself, with a varnished floor partially covered by a thick, intricately patterned rug and numerous windows down the left-hand wall. Every twenty feet or so was punctuated by a noble arch in white plaster and embellished with the engravings of fruit. The ceiling was also deeply engraved with huge squares; the crest of the Waltham dynasty sitting in the centre of each one. Against the walls were cabinets, statues, jardinières and elegant chairs. The walls were covered with paintings and portraits.
This long gallery seemed to go on forever and its considerable length suddenly gave me the urge to run down it. I looked around and seeing no one about, I picked up my skirts and began to sprint, my feet thudding on the rug. I began to laugh as I sped along, knowing that my hair was coming unpinned and I would look a dreadful sight. At the far end, I turned the corner and collided with someone just leaving one of the rooms leading off the corridor.
He caught my arm to steady my balance. “Is someone chasing you?”
I tried to catch my breath and hurriedly tucked my hair back under the pins. “No. I was…Oh dear,” I gasped.
Karl cocked his head to one side and gave an amused smile. “You were running down the gallery?”
“Suddenly got the urge,” I laughed.
His hand dropped from my elbow and he looked down at the floor. “Alastair and I would race each other when we were boys.”
“Who used to win?”
“Neither of us really. Close to the finish line the loser would always grab the winner in a rugby tackle.”
“Typical male pride.”
His eyes swept over me and his expression softened. “You have a lock of hair still loose.”
Before I could put it right, he reached for it and fastened it behind a pin.
“I must look such a mess,” I breathed, conscious of my heart thudding against my ribcage with the exertion. I suddenly felt very weary. “Thank goodness none of the servants saw me.”
He glanced around. “Yes, we seem to be quite alone.” He licked his lips and studied me for a few seconds. His hand gripped my elbow again. “I think it’s time we had a talk,” he said quietly. He didn’t wait for my reply, but opened a door and propelled me into a room that was obviously used as a study. I stood in the middle of the floor, not daring to move. “Would you care to sit?”
I turned to face him. “No, thank you. I prefer to stand.”
“So be it.” He stared at me and his eyes seemed bluer than I had ever seen them.
“What do you want to speak to me about?” I said, trying to sound relaxed even though I knew what he was about to say.
It was obvious he was not going to mince his words and came straight to the point. “Why didn’t you tell me at your interview that you already had a child?”
“Would it have mattered? The outcome would have been just the same.”
“I needed to know everything about you. I had that right.”
I looked at him coldly. “Why did you need to know everything about me? And why do you think you had that right?”
My questions seemed to astonish him. “Because I had chosen you to bear my child.” I stayed silent. He shook his head in bewilderment. “You already had a child and I should have been told about him.”
“Why? I fail to see what Danny has to do with it.”
“Did you tell Mrs Holland about him?”
I considered this for a moment. The last thing I wanted was to cause trouble for a lady who had been so kind to me. “I told her in France.”
He took a step back from me, his hand to his forehead. “Dear Lord! She never said a word. She should have told me.”
“I begged her to keep it a secret,” I said softly, hoping this would pacify him. “Besides, by the time I told her, it was too late. I was already carrying your child.”
His eyes seemed to burn into me. “If I had known I would have asked questions about your health during your pregnancy and if there had been any complications with the birth. I would have wanted to see your son to ascertain he was perfectly normal.”
I recoiled in disgust. The thought that my child would have been examined like one of his prize foals filled me with horror. “How dare you! Even if you had known about Danny, I would never have allowed you anywhere near him. He’s not a…a standard by which you can measure what kind of child I produce.”
My vehemence seemed to startle him. “I had to be certain that my child would be healthy and normal,” he said quietly.
I shook my head in disbelief and turned on him in fury. “You said I was an intelligent woman, so please give me some credit. Do you honestly believe I would have agreed to have your child if there had been complications during my pregnancy or if Danny had been born other than normal?” It seemed my tirade had made him speechless so I took advantage of the situation. “When I first met Mrs Holland, my son was a beautiful, healthy seventeen-month-old infant. I had had no trouble bringing him into the world and I could see no problems with having a second child. And if I say so myself, that second child turned out to be just as healthy and beautiful.”
He stared at me intently. “I agree.”
“Then why are we having this ridiculous conversation?”
He looked embarrassed when he said, “It came as a shock when I realised that Emily was your second child.”
I frowned. “Why?”
He took in a deep breath and seemed to pull himself together. “For a long time after, I thought I had ruined your chances of marrying. That you might have to confess to a suitor that you had borne a child out of wedlock with dire consequences for your future happiness.” He moved away from me and looked down at the rug. “If I’d known you already had a child, I would have felt more comfortable about our arrangement.”
“I see,” I said slowly. “Knowing I had already sinned would have made you feel better about helping me to sin for the second time?”
He jerked his head in my direction. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Then what did you mean?”
He didn’t seem to know how to answer and moved closer to the fire. He looked down into the flames. “Mrs Holland told me that you were not…”
“A virgin?”
He turned to face me, blushing slightly. “Yes, quite. And I assumed you’d experienced a disastrous love affair. Or perhaps your…lover…had died before he could make an honest woman of you. Or perhaps he was already married.” I kept quiet, letting him continue with his conjectures. “I didn’t blame you for having an affair. I remember you as being a very passionate woman.” He watched me intently, the flames of the fire reflecting in his eyes. “The kind of woman, any man would…”
“Any man would what?” I snapped. I suddenly remembered the wager suggested by Sir Joshua Portland and suspicion clouded my mind.
He turned his attention back to the fire. “I was going to say any man would want in his bed.”
Hostility surged up inside me and I felt the sudden desire to tell him about the husband
I had loved with all my heart. But I kept silent. I had been paid to have this man’s child and knew I couldn’t say Daniel’s name in his presence. That was another life in another time and I had to keep it separate.
“You think so,” I said acidly.
He tilted his head and smiled. “You’re very beautiful and very desirable.” He straightened up and came towards me, his hands reaching out as though trying to ensnare me. “I tried to find you after Emily was born.”
“Why did you do that?” I backed away from him.
“I wanted to carry on seeing you.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to…I hoped…”
“To continue the relationship?” I said, finishing the sentence for him.
“Yes,” he murmured. “I missed you and…and…”
His hands closed round my upper arms, his face came down close to mine.
I began to feel afraid and glanced around the room, trying to control my breathing. “I think we’ve finished our discussion. We’ve said everything that needs to be said and it’s time for me to leave.” He didn’t reply, but kept watching me, a misty look in his eyes. “Please let go of me.”
His hands dropped to his side. “Isabelle, please understand…I…”
I ran to the door and out into the corridor, hurrying along the gallery, but this time in anger instead of the jubilation of the first time. Mrs Holland had been wrong since the truth was plain to see. Karl didn’t love me at all; he just wanted me for his mistress in order to win a silly wager. He had just shattered me into a thousand pieces for now I understood that he saw me as a woman simply to be used for his own amusement. But my wrath didn’t stop my heart breaking.
I spent the rest of the afternoon in my room. I asked Nelly to bring my tea on a tray and I curled up in the window seat staring out at the garden. Enquiries were sent up regarding my wellbeing, but I sent a message back that I felt very weary and wanted some time to myself. I wasn’t disturbed and eventually, I slipped off my dress and lay down. Within a very short time, I was asleep.