Lost in Love: A Contemporary Christian Romance (Modern Conveniences Book 3)

by Leah Atwood

  “No.” She wished she could take back her abrupt response.

  “Aha.” Sean put a hand on each of her shoulders. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s bothering you, please.”

  “I can’t.”

  “Can’t or won’t.”

  She turned away from him, forcing his hands off of her. “Has anyone ever told you you’re obnoxious.”

  “I call it persistence.” The humor in his voice fell on deaf ears.

  Clenching her jaw, she faced him again. “Will you please just let it drop? I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “I can’t let it go because you’re upset.” He started to reach out to her, but must have thought better of it because he jerked his hand back to his side. “If it’s about Madison, she would have understood if you hadn’t wanted her to stay.”

  “Yeah, okay. That would give a great impression. Can you imagine the word of mouth feedback I’d receive from that? ‘Great place but owner asked us to leave because she’s jealous.’” Too late she realized what she’d admitted.

  Sean’s ears perked. “You’re jealous?”

  “I told you I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Fine, if you won’t talk about it, we’ll act on it.”

  “Huh?”

  Before she could process what was happening, Sean took a strand of her hair and wound it around his finger. He moved closer, freeing the tendril. Caressing her cheek with his fingers, his head leaned forward.

  Time stopped for her. She couldn’t think of anything but Sean’s closeness. Tipping her head, she gave permission for him to complete the touch. His lips met hers, pressing firmly. This was no innocent kiss like they’d shared at their wedding.

  Sean deepened the kiss and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. She caved to his touch, allowing herself the joy of the moment without any second guessing. Lacing her arms around his neck, she silently admitted that she loved this man.

  “Ahem.”

  She jumped back at the sudden intrusion. Her face burned when she saw Archer standing at the doorway.

  He rocked on his feet, obviously uncomfortable. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but could we use the dryer? A bottle of water leaked in our suitcase.”

  “Of course.” She prayed her voice wasn’t as breathless as it sounded to her. Reaching behind her, she held onto the counter for support—her knees didn’t feel so strong at the moment.

  “I’ll show him where it is.” Sean left the room with Archer following.

  What in the world just happened? He’d just kissed her with explosive passion, then walked away, completely unaffected. Should she be insulted? And to be seen by a guest? She touched a hand to her cheek, the heat warming her palm.

  More confused than ever, she moved to a barstool and sat down. Was keeping Crosswinds worth all this emotional upheaval? Of course, it was. She loved her home, wanted to stay here permanently. What would she do without it?

  But she loved Sean. She couldn’t deny it anymore, but wasn’t ready to admit it to him. The risk of rejection paralyzed her. A voice in her head, made stronger when he’d walked away without a backward glance after the kiss, played games with her, told her he’d only kissed her as a replacement for Madison.

  It made sense. He’d had plenty of opportunities to kiss her before tonight, yet never had. Unable to face the shame, she went upstairs and locked her bedroom door. She’d gotten herself into one fine mess.

  Five minutes later, there was a knock on the door. “Sunny, are you in there?”

  She ignored him, pretended to be asleep.

  He knocked again. “Sunny?”

  She couldn’t bring herself to answer.

  “We need to talk about what happened.”

  “No, we don’t.” Drats. Why couldn’t she keep her mouth shut tonight?

  “Will you come out, please?”

  “Not tonight.” She didn’t trust herself—much less her emotions.

  His resigned sigh drifted through the door. “I’ll be in my room if you change your mind.”

  With every footstep that echoed down the hall, Sunny’s heart grew heavier. Why had she ever thought it possible to have a marriage arrangement? There were too many complications.

  She grabbed a book from her nightstand and sat on the bed. Losing herself in a good book had always helped her clear her mind. She opened to the bookmarked page and began to read. Two pages later, she slammed the book shut in disgust. Of course, she’d have to be at the part where the hero and heroine first kissed.

  Maybe a mystery or political thriller would do. Better yet, an old college textbook that would put her to sleep. Too bad she had none. When she’d moved to Crosswinds, she’d decided to finally toss the outdated materials.

  Pacing around the room, she adjusted her ponytail several times, eventually leaving it in a sloppy bun. Agitated and restless, she couldn’t figure out what to do. It was too late to head to the supermart now. Because she was annoyed, she wasn’t even sure she wanted to give Sean a gift anymore. That wasn’t quite true. Once she calmed down, she knew she’d regret a spiteful decision.

  She’d just have to sneak out tomorrow, go to Lyon’s or into Linnsboro. Lisa would hang out after breakfast if she asked her to, or Sean could watch over the place for an hour while she slipped away. Did he want the whole three hours from noon to three or only a portion? It would be helpful to know.

  Had she overreacted tonight? She stood at her window, staring at the stars twinkling in the sky. She’d wanted the kiss, so why was she so upset? She’d gotten what she’d wanted.

  But I wanted it under different circumstances. I wanted our first kiss—real kiss, the wedding one didn’t count—to be meaningful and special. Not spurred by a reunion with his ex-crush. Scratch that, Madison was more than an ex-crush.

  She hated uncertainties. Exasperated with herself more than anyone else, she decided to call it a night. She exchanged her khakis and purple polo shirt for a pair of ratty but comfortable flannel pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. If she had to be lost in unfamiliar emotional territory, at least she could do it from the familiar comfort of her favorite pajamas.

  Before she got into bed, she flipped the switch to turn on the ceiling fan. The rickety blades rattled, which drove her nuts for the first month she’d lived here. She’d since become used to the creaking rhythm, its comforting sound lulled her to sleep—until tonight.

  Snuggling under her covers, she curled into a fetal position and closed her eyes. An itch on her arm distracted her, and she scratched it. Tried to find her sweet spot again on the mattress, but she’d lost it. She tossed and turned, determined to find her nest. After several minutes, she found a position that would suffice.

  She closed her eyes again and attempted sleep. Counted sheep and counted backward from one hundred to one. She pulled the collar of her shirt. “Is it hot in here or is it just me?”

  The dark room answered with a blank stare.

  Throwing off the blankets with one hand, she fanned herself with the other.

  This is crazy. Just go talk to him.

  Before she could change her mind, she marched to her door, swung it open, and continued her parade down the hallway until she came to his door. In the twenty seconds that passed from one room to the next, her bravado took a vacation. She turned around and took a step toward her room.

  Go. To. Him. Now.

  Her conscience had no plans to give her a break.

  Fine. She turned around and huffed. For the love of everything, she really had gone crazy, having arguments with herself.

  She raised a hand, poised to knock on the door.

  Before she made contact, Sean opened his bedroom door with an amused smirk. “Can I help you?”

  “How’d you know I was here?”

  “Shadows, footsteps, whispering.” He threw her a wink. “Take your pick.”

  “Oh … Sorry to bother you,” she muttered. Chickening out completely, she pivoted on her bare heel to return to her room. />
  “I don’t think so.” Sean’s voice stopped her. All playfulness was gone, his words a plea. “You came for a reason. Please talk to me.”

  “Why’d you kiss me?”

  His face turned dumbstruck. “Because I wanted to.”

  “But why did you want to?”

  “Why does any man want to kiss a woman?”

  She drew a sharp breath of air, well aware she was on the verge of overreacting again. All right. I’m well over the verge, holding on by a finger. “Can you please just answer me?”

  “You’re beautiful, you’re intelligent, you’re a Godly woman, you are loyal, you have kissable lips, you’re my wife, I’m attracted to you.” He raised a brow. “Want me to keep going?”

  “It had nothing to do with Madison?”

  His cheek twitched, and she feared she might have gone overboard. “No. Why would you think that?”

  “You’ve had plenty of opportunities to kiss me before tonight, then Madison shows up, and you finally do.”

  He reached out and lightly touched her cheek. “I’ve wanted to for a long time, but didn’t want to take advantage of our friendship. Then I saw you tonight, and you seemed insecure about Madison. I couldn’t hold it back. I wanted you to feel and experience what you mean to me.”

  “Then why’d you leave right after? It was like you hadn’t been affected at all by the kiss.”

  “A guest needed help. I came back immediately after I’d taken care of it, but you’d already gone.”

  “Did seeing Madison bring back any feelings?”

  Sean groaned. “Am I that bad of a kisser, you couldn’t tell my heart belongs to you, and you only?”

  She was positive her face had turned beet red and certain she couldn’t have bungled this anymore if she’d tried. “I’m going back to bed. Can we forget this conversation happened?”

  “Who’s running away now? I just confided in you, and your response is to leave?” Hurt darkened his eyes.

  She broke down, horrified by her behavior, overwhelmed by her emotions. “I don’t know what we’re doing.”

  He stepped closer, cradling her face. His spearmint breath was warm against her mouth. “We’re falling in love.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Sean’s one-month anniversary passed without fanfare. The free time Sunny had set aside was wiped away when something arose that required her presence at the law office. They planned to reschedule for tonight. The McCabes had informed them they would be out late and wouldn’t need dinner, and Archer and Madison were checking out today. He’d looked forward to their evening together, had been disappointed yesterday hadn’t worked out, especially after their kiss and talk Monday night. Delaying the celebration a day late wasn’t bad, though. Only a few more hours to go.

  Before he and Sunny could be alone, they had to get through lunch with Madison and Archer. The idea made him queasy, but Madison and Sunny had hit it off. When Sunny had presented him with the invitation last night, he’d wanted nothing more than to decline. A cozy lunch alone with his wife appealed to him on a much larger scale.

  He dressed in dark tan pants and a green oxford. For being a man, he’d put more thought into what to wear than he cared to admit, but it was a double date of sorts, and he wanted Sunny to be proud of him at her side.

  Just as he was proud, and honored, to have her at his.

  He met her downstairs, awestruck by her beauty. Dresses weren’t practical for most of the work she performed at Crosswinds, and her typical outfit consisted of jeans and a shirt, or khakis and a polo when guests were present. Today, she wore a white sundress covered in purple flowers. A lilac colored cardigan covered her arms to ward off the last of spring’s chill.

  His heart pounded. He wanted to kiss her again but suppressed the desire. Until they talked and had a serious conversation about what was happening between them, he didn’t want the physical attraction to sway them any one way. For now, he was content to know he loved her, and she had feelings for him at some level. He wouldn’t push for more of a response from her. There was too much at stake to risk pushing her away.

  He settled for kissing her cheek. “You’re beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” A sweet blush crawled up her cheeks. “You clean up nicely yourself.”

  “Do we really have to go?”

  She wrapped her around his. “I think it will be good for you.”

  “Since when has sharing a meal with someone who hates my guts been good for me?”

  “Archer doesn’t hate you.”

  “Sure he doesn’t.” He just strongly dislikes me.

  “He’s been friendly to you the last two days.”

  “Only because he’s a nice guy who would never disrespect a man in his home.” It struck him that Crosswinds wasn’t really his home. He had no claim to the place. “Or what he thought was the person’s home.”

  Sunny gave him an odd look. “This is your home.”

  He wasn’t in the mood to argue technicalities. “Ready to go and get this over with?”

  “Here’s where I insert a quote about attitude changing everything.”

  Her smile melted his annoyance over the lunch. “You are right, and I shouldn’t complain. They’ll be there, but so will you.”

  “There you go.” Her grin widened, and she slid her hand down his arm until their fingers locked.

  He walked her to his SUV, and his phone rang as he opened the door for her. “It’s Mr. Lyons. Do you mind if I take this call?”

  She shook her head. “Go ahead. We’ll be a few minutes early as it is.”

  “Thanks.” Stepping away, he tapped the phone screen to answer the call. “Sean Pearson.”

  “Afternoon, Sean. Charles Lyons here.”

  “How are you today, sir?” His business tone kicked in, but without that intimidating edge he was known for.

  “Been better, to be honest, but I’m praying you can fix that.” Charles cleared his throat. “My wife gave me your business card, and I looked up your website. Impressive resume you have.”

  “I’ve worked hard.”

  Charles laughed. “That’s a good thing if you enjoy your career.”

  “I did.” As in past tense. He wasn’t certain he would anymore, as least not in the same realm.

  “I’d like to use your services if you think you can save my store, but after a few of the corporations you’ve worked with, I’m afraid we can’t afford you. Would you be willing to work out a deal?”

  “When I spoke with your wife, I told her I wouldn’t charge.”

  “I can’t accept charity.”

  Sean understood, heard the man’s pride. “How’s this for a plan? Let me take a look at your numbers and current strategies and costs. I’ll see what I can come up with, and when you’re back on your feet, then you can repay me how you see fit.”

  “What do you get out of this, if you don’t mind me asking?”

  “Let’s just say I’ve learned that life is about helping out without a reward or payment in mind.”

  “If you’re sure, I’d appreciate your help.” Charles paused. “When would be a good time for you to stop by?”

  “How does Friday work?”

  “That would be great. I’ll have all the paperwork ready for you to pore over.”

  “I’ll see you then. If anything changes, give me a call.” Sean ended the call and slid into the driver’s seat. “He agreed to let me help him.”

  “That’s fantastic.” Sunny adjusted a bunched portion of her dress. “They’re great people, and I’d hate to see the store close.”

  The thrill of a challenge invigorated him. “I can’t wait to dive in. The break from consulting has been nice, but I miss it.”

  “Are you thinking about going back to it?”

  “I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “I’ve enjoyed the time away, but I can’t deny I love what I did. If God didn’t want me to do it anymore, wouldn’t He take away that desire?”

  “Have you pr
ayed about the decision?”

  “Yes, but I don’t have peace about any path I should take.” He pulled out of the parking spot and drove down the driveway.

  The conversation died down. Sunny retreated within herself when he’d mentioned wanting to return to consulting. Was she worried about their future? She shouldn’t be. He couldn’t go back to how his life and career had been. Seventy hours plus work weeks were a thing of his past, and so were the extended business trips. There were also the moral issues he struggled with. He hadn’t received clear answers on the morality of shutting down small businesses and instigating thousands of layoffs, all to save a corporation. They were a few of the gray areas he faced.

  When they pulled into the restaurant, Sunny pointed to a side strip of parking spots. “I see their car, and there’s an open spot beside them.”

  He didn’t understand the importance of parking beside them, but whatever. If it made Sunny happy, he’d do it. “Looks like they’re already inside.”

  “Good. Hopefully, they got a table already.” She turned her neck to scan the full lot. “I’ve not seen them this busy on a weekday in a long time.”

  Sean kept his comments to himself. No one needed his negativity at the meal. There was a small chance it might not be that bad. Sunny was right—Archer hadn’t been acrimonious at all during his stay, other than the initial meeting. In fact, since he’d walked in on Sean and Sunny kissing, he’d been downright pleasant.

  Interesting. That earth-shattering kiss had served dual purposes. It initiated deeper conversations between him and Sunny, plus it showed Archer that Sean held no feelings for Madison.

  He wouldn’t mind repeating that kiss without the interruption.

  Focus. He couldn’t think nonstop about kissing Sunny, no matter how pleasant an idea it was.

  They walked inside and spotted Archer standing against a wall.

  He raised his arm and waved two fingers to catch their attention. “Over here.”

  “Where’s Madison?” Sunny traveled her gaze over the waiting area.

  “In the ladies’ room.” Archer pointed toward the rear of the restaurant.

  “I’ll join her.” Sunny turned her head and winked so only he could see, then left in a flash.