by Marie Garner
“Lance, this is Shannon,” she introduced the two. “We were cheerleaders together, and she was one of my best friends.”
“Ahh, the beloved cheerleader,” he quipped.
“Shut up,” she told him before turning back to Shannon. “So, what have you been up to?”
“Nothing, working at the diner with Jimmy Mason.” Jimmy’s parents owned the diner, so it only made sense he would take over the reins of working there. However, there was something in the way she said it that had her questioning.
“Jimmy Mason?”
Shannon held up her left hand, wagging her ring finger to show her wedding band.
“Oh, my gosh!” Brea grabbed her hand, both girls squealing over the ring in a way that had Lance rolling his eyes. “How long?”
“Three years.”
“Wow! Congratulations!” she said enthusiastically. She was so excited, thinking of everything she had missed since being away. Maybe her no-contact rule wasn’t the best decision she ever made.
“And guess what.” She leaned in close so other people wouldn’t overhear. “I’m pregnant.” Brea squealed, waving her hands in the air. She hugged Shannon, kissing her cheek.
“I am so happy for you.”
“Thanks! We are thrilled. But I’m not far along, so we aren’t telling many people yet. But seeing you here is about as rare as a blood-red moon, so I figured you were safe.” Brea laughed at the joke, overwhelmed by feelings of guilt.
“Yeah, about that.”
“It’s okay.” Shannon cut off any apology she was going to make. “I’m not going to say it hasn’t been hard, not having one of my best friends here, but I understand why you did it.”
“Why is everyone giving me a free pass on bad behavior?” she asked Lance, knowing he wouldn’t answer.
“Because no one wants to imagine what it’s like to live with your mother, so we don’t know what it would take to get over it. If you needed to disappear for a while, we’ll support it.”
“My mother doesn’t excuse bad behavior.”
“Hell, that woman could excuse most anything. Are you going to go see her?”
“Hadn’t really thought about it.”
Shannon leaned over and patted her hand. “I think you should.”
“Shannon.”
“I’m serious. She is a big part of the reason why you didn’t come back. I know it’s because you didn’t want to see her. You need to see her, though, because you are still looking at her as if you’re the eight-year-old girl she neglected, not an adult who just seriously needs help. She can’t hurt you anymore.”
“I know,” she said defensively, not liking the way Shannon hit the nail on the head.
“All right,” Shannon said, sliding out of the booth, “as long as you don’t stay away too long like you did last time.”
“I won’t,” she promised. “Who else is going to help spoil your baby?”
Shannon laughed, patting her stomach. “Every damn person I know. But he or she could use another aunt.”
“I’d like that.” Brea smiled.
“Let’s go see my mom.”
“Say what?” Lance asked from his spot on the couch, certain he had misunderstood her. She had been adamant about not seeing her mom, so for Brea to tell him she wanted to go was news to him.
“Let’s go see my mom.” She sat up where she had been lounging on the couch. They had been there for the last week and were scheduled to fly out the next morning to go to Oklahoma. Alex had been handling his case, and the lawyer said it was going to take a couple weeks to get resolution, but he was confident they had the situation well in hand. Derrick and Silvia loved having Alex and Brea back at the house, and Brea loved reconnecting with everyone she had neglected. She and Lance had even gone to eat dinner at Shannon’s house yesterday so the girls could catch up without being interrupted like they were at the diner. Brea knew why she stayed away. She had feared her mother would negatively impact her life, even after all this time. She hadn’t seen the woman in over ten years, but it was about time to see if her fear was justified.
“You sure?” he asked skeptically.
“Yes.”
“Well, do you want to wait for your brother?”
She loved he was so supportive of her; he really was a good guy. “Nope. Just you and me, big guy. You up for it?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be.” She directed him past the town center to the outskirts of town. You literally went over a train track to get to a run-down part of town, where unkempt houses and dilapidated buildings littered the streets. Two more turns and he stopped in front of an old farmhouse, which had clearly seen better days. It was gray with the random spot of white paint, and one of the shutters was hanging down. There were no curtains on the windows, the steps were dry-rotted, and the grass clearly hadn’t been mowed in months.
“Home, sweet home.” Brea continued to glare at the house. She looked back to find him studying her. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but it probably wasn’t this.”
“Has it always been like this?” he asked gently.
“It’s always been unkempt, but it’s never been this bad. I had no clue it had gotten this way. Alex told me either he or Derrick would come by every couple months to make sure the yard was mowed and she had enough food to eat so she didn’t sink too low. I don’t know why we even bothered, but she’s still my mother, regardless of how flawed she may be.” She shook her head, thinking of the wasted potential of her mother.
“Come on.” She got out of the car and slammed the door, signaling the conversation was over. They walked gingerly toward the house, not wanting to get hurt with all the hazards lying around.
“This place should be condemned,” he mumbled while she knocked on the door. There was no answer, but there was a rustling behind the door.
“Mom! Open up!” Brea began banging again when she still wouldn’t answer the door. The door jerked open, and Lance physically had to stop himself from recoiling. Brea’s mom had the same black hair Brea did, but whereas Brea’s was full and glossy, her mother’s looked limp and dead. Sores ran down bony arms and her sunken face, a sure sign her mother had been hitting something other than heroin lately. Her blue eyes were dull and lifeless, and Lance wanted to rail at the injustice of it all. She leaned against the door, crossing her arms while she studied Brea.
“Well, well, well…what do we have here?” Brea pushed past her inside the house. Lance had no choice but to follow, half-wishing he didn’t. The smell was what hit him first, because Brea’s mom was clearly not a housekeeper. There was shit everywhere, trash piled up on the floor, clothes thrown on all surfaces, but the worst sight of all was the naked man lounging on the couch, covered by nothing but a blanket. Lance pulled Brea toward him; he wanted to grab her and run outside, but she hooked her hand into the back of his pants, needing the contact as much as he did. He suddenly saw in stark clarity what it was like to live with this woman, and he had to unclench his fists before he hit someone.
“Who the fuck is this?” the man slurred, still drunk from the night before. He staggered off the couch, undeterred by his own nudity, and pulled on his jeans before buckling them.
“My daughter,” her mother answered dryly. She crossed her arms across her chest. “The big, bad movie star decided to pay her mother a visit.”
“I didn’t know you had a daughter, baby.” The man wrapped his arm around her back and proceeded to make out with her in front of them.
“Mom!” Brea had finally had enough. “We just came by to see how you were doing and to say hello.” Her mother took her time pulling away from the man, and Brea crinkled her nose at the sight. She was assailed with memories of living with her mother and felt sick to her stomach.
“Well, you’ve seen me. I’m good.”
“You want me to get rid of them?” This from the guy. Lance stormed toward him and shoved him against the wall.
“You have lost your fucking mind if you think I’m goin
g to let you touch me. Or her.” He pointed at Brea. “If you touch her, it will be the last thing you do on this earth. Why don’t you do us both a favor and get the fuck out before I beat your ass.” The guy held his hands up in defeat, and Lance shoved him out the door before he slammed it shut.
“What the hell did you do that for?” her mother yelled at Lance.
“Are you kidding me right now? I haven’t seen you in years, and all you want to do is yell at us and make out with your latest john.”
“You know what? Fuck you, Brea!” Brea reared back as though she had been slapped while her mom continued. “I never asked for kids, never wanted you, but I got stuck with you ungrateful brats. At least your brother gave me money sometimes, which is more than I can say for you. You come in here with all your fancy clothes, and nice cars, and gorgeous boyfriend, and you think I can’t tell what you think about me?”
“I never wanted anything but for you to get help.”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried? The drug always calls me back, always!”
“It doesn’t have to be like that. We can get you help.”
“Maybe I don’t want help. All I wanted was to be left alone; your brother kept coming back, telling me what I should do. And I know you had a hand in it, because he never did anything without you knowing. You have no idea what it was like growing up for me.” Her mother collapsed in the couch, reaching for her pack of cigarettes.
“Because you never told me. And if you want to compare childhoods, I’ve got a doozy for you because living with you was Hell.”
“You always had food.” Hands shook while her mother tried to light her cigarette, and Brea was worried she would burn herself.
“Food? Is that all you think I needed?”
“It’s all I had. Just go.” She pointed at the door with her cigarette. Brea gave up; there was no use trying to get through to her. Her mother was so far entrenched in darkness she may never see the light, but it no longer had to affect Brea.
“Ok, Mom, we’ll go. I’m fucking done. Call me when you’re clean.”
“Wait for me!” Lance said. Brea had taken off so quickly she left him in the house with her mother. She was fucking nuts, especially when she started spouting off shit about her children being ungrateful, and her never wanting them, so he could only imagine what Brea was going through.
“Get your ass in the car!” she screamed at him, making him pause. He got she was pissed off at her mother, and probably hurt and lashing out, but he had been nothing but supportive of her.
“Please don’t yell at me, honey. I didn’t do anything, and I’m not your mother.”
“Just get in the car,” she said through gritted teeth. He didn’t make her say it again, getting her away from her mother’s house as quickly as possible. They sat in silence, the only noise the ragged breathing from Brea.
“It’s okay if you’re upset.” He rubbed his hand over her thigh to reassure her.
“I’m. Not. Upset. Livid, pissed, frustrated, murderous would be better terms. I can’t fucking believe her. To say my brother and I were ungrateful, and because I refused to give her money, which she would have used to snort, smoke, or shoot up, I am somehow less than my brother is. I don’t know why I bothered.” She shook her head, irritated she allowed herself to be sucked back into the vortex of craziness which followed her mother.
“She’s caught in the middle of a horrible disease and until she can crawl out from the hole of her own making, you will just have to bear with her.”
“I get it. I do, but she doesn’t even want to try. I can’t continue to subject myself to being hurt by her. If she chooses to get help, then she can contact Alex, Derrick, Silvia, or me. I am not going to put myself out there with her anymore.” He continued to rub her thigh in soothing circles to calm her down.
“No one’s saying you have to, either. You did the best you could, and that’s all anyone can ask you to do. If she wants help, she’ll reach out.”
“I know.” She nodded. “Can you just take me home? I want to see Silvia.”
Silvia was sympathetic about what happened with her mother but unsurprised. They had been doing this same song and dance for years, but her mother remained unchanged. Brea didn’t know which would have been worse: a mother who was always an addict or someone who spent her time going in and out of rehab.
She couldn’t think about it; she was too busy trying to get ready for the trip to see Lance’s family. Now that made her nervous, which she also discussed with Silvia. Brea said Lance was it for her, but her relationship with him was so new and scary and she knew how important his family was to him. Silvia told her she was justified to be nervous, but she was insane if she thought they wouldn’t love her as much as she and Derrick did. It was just like old times, when Silvia was working in her room and Brea was sitting with her, talking about problems and issues she was having in her life. She had missed this when she was in LA, but she knew Derrick and Silvia would never leave South Carolina.
“I love you,” Brea whispered to Lance when they sat on the porch later.
“Love you, too.” He lifted her head from where it lay on his chest, kissing her deeply. “Missed you these last couple of days.”
“You have? I’ve been right here.” She grinned, knowing exactly what he was talking about. With all the running around and craziness involving her brother and then her mother, they hadn’t been having sex. Added with the fact they were staying at her parents’ house and there was a tacit agreement not to have sex in her childhood bedroom. She was used to getting it every day, and she would have been concerned she was becoming a nymphomaniac, but it only seemed to happen with Lance. Good reason to keep him around.
He reached under her top and tweaked her nipple. “You know what I’m talking about.”
She hissed when he continued to play with her breasts. “Well, I may have been feeling a bit neglected.”
He leaned down to whisper against her lips, “We can’t have that.”
“No, we can’t. Come with me,” Brea pulled him, away from the porch and further into the yard where they wouldn’t be seen. Lance sat down on the grass, pulling her down onto his lap. She pushed up slightly to meet his lips, gliding her hand down his chest to reach into the waistband of his underwear to wrap her hand around his cock. She helped him slide his boxers down and swallowed the head of his cock, sucking a couple of times before she released him with a pop. She licked up one side and down the other while her hands played with his ball sac.
“Brea,” Lance groaned, grabbing her hair, fucking her face a couple of times. She continued to suck him, wanting to drive him crazy. She had missed this part of their relationship the last couple days and loved the fact he seemed to lose control with her. “Brea, stop,” he commanded. She shook her head no, her mouth still on his cock. It caused a vibration which made him almost jerk out of bed.
“Be quiet,” she hissed, not wanting to have Silvia or Derrick come out here and check on them.
“I’m about to come,” he whispered, almost begging her to stop.
“I know,” she said, licking him in one long stroke. “Just lie back, and enjoy this.” She went back to what she was doing and Lance his hand in his mouth, biting down like his life depended on it. She only had to suck a couple more times before he came, and she drank every bit of his release when he did. He continued to pant behind his hand, coming down from his orgasm. Brea grinned and wiped her mouth, crawling back up his body to lie on his chest.
“Give…me…a…minute,” he panted, causing Brea to laugh aloud.
“Take as long as you need,” she answered smugly. He pinched her ass, holding her head up so she would look at him.
“You think that’s funny.”
“I think I love the way I make you crazy.” He kissed her hard, rolling her over so she lay on her back.
“How about I try to make you crazy?”
“How about you do that?” Lance was very much a breast man, and he loved to pla
y with her boobs, but today he just wasn’t having it. He parted her thighs, rubbing his finger lightly over her slit. There wasn’t enough pressure to do anything except drive her crazy, and she squirmed to let him know she wanted more.
“More,” she said, pushing her hips up with her feet in the hopes of having his finger inside her.
“Nope,” he said, grinning down at her. He held her thighs down with one arm, and the other hand continued to play with her slit. He finally had mercy on her and stuck one finger in to the knuckle, crooking his finger to cause additional sensation.
“Lance.” She tried to buck his arm off her, but he was stronger than she was.
“Want more of this?” He pushed his finger in a little more. She couldn’t speak; she only nodded, causing him to chuckle. He thrust his finger in a couple of times, nothing as hard or fast as she wanted it, but something designed to prolong pleasure. He took his finger out, sucking on it while she watched. Her blue eyes flared with desire, knowing she had found her sexual equal. He went back to her slit, keeping her thighs apart. He kissed one side of her leg, then the other, and pressed tiny kisses on the top of her folds, but not going anywhere near her opening. She moaned loudly, and he shushed her. He put a hand over her mouth, or else someone really would come to check on them.
He finally licked her slit, sticking his tongue into her core. She squirmed, wanting him closer, and hooked her feet around his back to hold him in place. He gave her what she craved, thrusting in and out with his tongue. He sucked on her clit, causing additional sensations. Fingers joined his tongue, filling her completely. She swore she lost all her senses, screeching behind his hand before collapsing on the ground in a bundle of nerves. She turned her head, wanting to hide her face from him. Never before had she lost her inhibitions like that, and she was a bit embarrassed after what they just did.
“Hey, you.” Lance tilted her face toward him, noticing the blush spreading across her face. “Are you embarrassed?” he asked jokingly.
“Maybe,” she answered primly. “Or maybe you just weren’t great, and I was trying to spare your feelings by looking at you crazy.”