by Stella Rhys
Nate left shortly after that, compelled to check on Abram. He told me to call when I was ready to go. Minutes after he left, the doctor came out to let me see Jesse. She would later turn a blind eye and have the nurses follow suit when visiting hours ended. So I stayed the night with him, my mind restless till after sunrise, when I finally fell asleep.
When I woke up, wincing at the crick in my neck, he was already smirking at me – as much as he could at least. “Morning, sunshine.”
“Morning.”
We didn’t speak for the next five minutes. I watched him as he purposely avoided answering the question I shouldn’t have had to ask him, studying the components of a less-than-appetizing breakfast the nurse had delivered. His left arm worked fine but his right, according to the doctor, had “snapped backwards.” His ribs were bandaged – I could see that through the side of his hospital gown. I was sure there were more wounds hidden under there but what I couldn’t take my eyes off were the stitches on his forehead. Right where mine had been. It looked like he had several more. Apparently, Abram Lenox hit harder than Manhattan pavement.
“Why didn’t you fight back?” I finally broke the silence. Jesse took his time to turn to me. “I know it’s not just because I asked you not to.”
He looked at me. “It was.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“What do I have to fight for anymore, Isla?” he demanded. “Besides you, what is it? Everything before I met you was for Stefan. I lived half a life so he could live a full one but turns out it was all for nothing. He’s going to die anyway. If Abram doesn’t get him, my family will.” He shook his head, his bottom lip disappearing between his teeth. “This stupid kid I lived for – he wasted my time. I should’ve been living for something worthwhile. For something good – someone good. The way I saw it last night, life as I knew it was over anyway. I’m gonna hate myself if Abe kills Stefan. I’m gonna hate my family if Abe doesn’t do it and they’re the ones who have to. I can’t come up with a single happy thought anymore. I can’t imagine myself living again without this shitstorm consuming my mind every minute. Unless I think of myself with you. And I figure, if I can’t have exactly who I want, then fuck it. You didn’t want me to fight and if last night didn’t change your mind about who you wanted to be with, then let Abram beat the life out of me. I don’t care.”
His emotional words tore at me. I dropped my eyes but he called me out.
“No, you don’t get to look away now, Isla. You made me answer the question. We didn’t have to talk about this but now that we are, you’re gonna look in my eyes. You’re not going to act all pouty and squeamish.”
Pouty and squeamish? “What are you talking about, Jesse?” I countered defensively.
“I’m talking about the fact that I want you. It only makes you uncomfortable because you know that you could want me just as bad. You know for a fact that we’d be good together because when we love, we love the same way – with everything we have. Tell me I’m wrong.” He paused and gave me all the time in the world that I didn’t use. “You just won’t let yourself find out about us because you love Abram and you’re not the kind of girl to indulge temptation – not if it means being even a little unfaithful. And that’s perfectly fine. That just gives me all the more proof that you’re the incredible woman I want.” He sneered, his split lip curling as he looked at me. “And fuck me, I guess I’ll just have to think about how it would’ve happened if we’d found each other first.”
“You only ever found me because of Abram.”
“I know,” Jesse murmured, holding his gaze on me before letting it slide to my lips, skim over my collarbones. He leaned his head back in the bed, staring up at the wall. “You still love him. Right?”
“I can’t look at him right now,” I replied. He knew to wait. “But yes. I love him.”
Jesse nodded. He studied the agony pursing my lips and gave a laugh. “Look, it’s fine, I’ve come to terms with it. No one ever said that a girl would have only one guy in love with her at a time. That would make things too good, too easy. And life’s not fair but I think we both figured that one out awhile ago.” He shrugged – or rather, tried, winced and then only shrugged the shoulder that wasn’t broken. It only made me feel worse but when he flashed me a crooked little smile, I felt everything in me ease, my heart beating again. “Don’t feel guilty, Isla. Abe didn’t kill me. I’ll live. I’ll eventually look at other girls. I’ll probably do it the second I get out of here.” He laughed when I laughed. “I get it. You can’t help who you love. And when it comes to a woman like you, I’ll settle for coming in second place. It’s still a hell of a compliment to me.”
My gaze dipped as I smiled. I let it be quiet for a second. “Thank you, Jesse.”
“For what?”
“I don’t know.” I dug deep to try to find out what I meant but came up empty. “I guess always being up front. Except that first time.” I smirked. “And I guess just… I think if I hadn’t met you under the circumstances that I did, I’d have been really happy to know somebody like you. I still am. But it would’ve been a really good friendship if we’d just met at bar.”
His lips twisted up with mischief. “You know it would’ve been more than friendship.”
I smiled. Yeah, but I didn’t say it. There was no point. And for the next five minutes together, I enjoyed the silence with Jesse. It was a peaceful one and probably the first and last we’d have. The fact that I should never see him again after Vegas didn’t escape me, even in our sweet moment of tranquility. The reality was that he and Abram would never co-exist. Ever. And though it would take a bit of time, I’d forgive Abram and we’d carry on. I’d answer his texts and calls and we would go back to being us. Or rather, we would finally start.
“Your man?” Jesse nodded at my phone, which I’d put on silent after all of Abram’s calls. But the screen wasn’t lit with his name. It was lit with a number I didn’t recognize.
“I don’t think so,” I murmured, frowning as I opened up the text.
hi beautiful. Wow I owe u an apology for what happened Some real fucked up shit with an old friend im pretty tight right now. I’ll be busy late tonight got to take care of some important shit Im sure you can understand. but I would really love to finish where we left off last night. Need to take off the edge real bad. I got some blow we can have a party just us two before I roll
I practically smothered myself with my own hand. I hadn’t even understood whom the text was from until the second to last sentence. Holy shit. Stefan Toro really was as idiotic as he was deceitful. There was truly no chance that he’d have survived this long without Jesse’s sacrifice.
“Isla.” Jesse’s voice slowly faded back into my ears. I turned to him with a look that he read straight through, his eyes flitting back and forth over mine for barely a second before he exhaled with hard disbelief. “You’re kidding me.”
I shook my head and showed him the text. I was sure he didn’t finish reading it before handing the phone back. “Call Abram. Get this done tonight,” he said. His voice was firm, laced with fervor. “Do it so you can start your life.”
Breathless, with trembling hands, I called Abram. He picked up on the first ring. The conversation lasted barely three minutes before he had hung up and gotten Nate to come get me. When I hung up, I took Jesse’s hand and leaned over to press a kiss on his forehead.
“You start your life too,” I said. He nodded.
We waited in that distinct silence of ours until Abram came.
chapter twenty-five
The car ride from the hospital was mostly silent. Nate gave us space the second we got back to our suite at The Monarch.
I shed my jacket the second the door closed behind us. I was still wearing the white dress I’d gone out to see Stefan in. Before leaving with Nate last night, I’d thrown a sweater over it and slipped into flats, but the dress was now filthy, covered in bloody fingerprints. I wordlessly reached behind my back so I could peel it the hell
off. I struggled for all of a second before Abram was behind me, his hands careful to touch only the zipper as he pulled it down.
“Isla.” His murmur was tortured as I walked away from him. I knew he was watching every second of me as I slid the dress off my body but I said nothing. I wasn’t sure what to say to him yet. My mind was in too many places. I had just texted Stefan back and was waiting on his reply. I was wondering if Stefan had an actual thought-out plan for “taking care of some important shit.” I suddenly feared that he’d called all the area hospitals to ask if a Jesse Toro had been admitted. But he wasn’t smart enough to that. Right? I had a million different anxious thoughts racing through my mind and on top of it all, I was still angry and a little scared of Abram for how relentless he’d been last night.
Worst of all, I had no time to think about it. A buzz in my hands and I jumped knowing Stefan had just replied to me.
yes awesome. Need u bad right now beautiful. come to the lux towers asap text when here im on the 26 floor just give my name to the front Steve Miller
Steve Miller. I had to snort. “Stefan wants me there as soon as possible,” I finally spoke to Abram, turning to find his eyes on me. They brimmed with pain but he kept his voice professional.
“It would be best if you could get him to come here.”
“I tried already. I can try again.”
Abram shook his head. “No.” He stood across the room watching me. I knew he was dying to talk to me, dying to hold me. There was a space between us that was never there before and neither of us could stand but there was no time to fix it. Not with Stefan to take care of. “It’s okay,” Abram murmured. “We can do it there. It’s just going to require a little more work on your end.”
“That’s fine.”
The extra work was clearing the suite and unlocking the door. Sitting well across the room from each other, Abram and I mapped out the plan sans Nate. He and Abram would arrive directly behind me at Lux Towers. Once I got to Stefan’s room, I’d ask for a tour and make sure that there was nobody else in there with him. He’d no doubt be antsy to get to business after that but I’d excuse myself for the customary bathroom visit right before, at which point I’d text to alert Abram and Nate that I was about to unlock the door. After, I’d return to Stefan and use the sixty seconds I had to get him in the most vulnerable position before Abram and Nate came in. They would secure him and after that, cover the floor in plastic.
At that point, I would be given permission to look away.
~
I was in sneakers, a T-shirt and the shorts I’d cut for my visit to Applejack Saloon. There was no need to doll up for Stefan anymore and it was best for me to wear something I was fully mobile in. I’d be leaving in a separate car, just like yesterday. But this time, Abram was having trouble saying goodbye and Nate was giving him the time to simply stand there and study me, the air thick with silence and agony so palpable I couldn’t tell if it was his or mine.
“Abram, now’s not the time,” I whispered, ours toes touching as he gazed down at me. “We can talk when it’s over,” I assured him, letting my fingertips just graze his chest. But one touch and I was hooked as always. I couldn’t stop myself from running my palms down Abram’s front. I leaned into his torso, giving myself five seconds to indulge in the comfort of his warmth. He held me tight, his murmur soft.
“I know you think I’m a monster.”
“I think we all have our turning points. And we’ll talk when this is over.”
We ended on that.
Alone, my car ride to the Lux Towers was spent with a surprising lack of nerves. I wasn’t thinking about Stefan, I was only thinking about Abram. I asked myself if I thought he was a monster and the oddly calm answer was yes. I had never known anyone like him – with his dark past and tortured existence, his superhuman physique perfectly designed to deliver pain. He was made to harm, to ruin. Yet he was desperate not to. But without Gavin, he no longer had that rock, that anchor assuring him that his wishes to be better weren’t just fleeting thoughts. He was a good person who didn’t have to be defined by the wreckage he’d caused and I had every intention of showing him that when we were finished with Stefan. Abram had the strength of five men combined and yet it was impossible for him to recognize the simple truth – that he did deserve to live free of his demons.
“Miss Maran.”
The driver opened my door to alert me to our arrival. I gave him a polite nod and smile as I got out. But on the inside, I was revved to go. My body pumped with speed, adrenaline and the desperate wish to get this over with. The fear I’d gone into the lounge with last night was gone, replaced by a feeling that vaguely mirrored excitement, which I found disturbing. But there was no time to acknowledge that so I walked through the front doors of the towering hotel, texting Stefan on my way in.
Downstairs. Get ready for me ;)
~
Strung. Out.
Those were the only two words I could use to describe Stefan when he opened the door for me. His red-rimmed eyes darted with frenetic energy when he saw me and thrust his arms open for a hug I didn’t want to walk into. “Hi,” my smile was strained as I let him embrace me. His hands wandered as I looked over his shoulder to survey his suite. It was expansive, with a bathroom and what looked like two separate bedrooms. “Nice.” I put on doe eyes as I looked around the room. “Care to give me a tour?”
Stefan thrust his hand between my legs. “I’d care to fuck you up against this door.”
“Charming.” I pushed him away. “Give me a tour. I want to see a nice hotel room for once in my life.”
Stefan stared at me as if processing my words at a ten-second delay. “Aw, baby hasn’t lived the good life yet,” he finally grinned.
I played to his ego and pouted. “My boyfriend’s a cheapskate.”
“Oh no,” Stefan lilted against my neck, giving a quick bite and suck of my skin before tearing away to drag me around by the wrist. “Let’s show you around then, princess. Give you a taste.”
There was a bathroom close to the door. I left my purse in it. The living room was big but simply decorated and I did my best to look awed by it. When we went into the master bedroom, I spotted two lines of coke on the nightstand before Stefan tossed me onto the bed and climbed on top. “How’s that for a tour?” He clamped a hand over my breast, squeezing as he thrust his tongue in my mouth. He tasted like burning chemicals. I broke away from him, trying not to show my disgust.
“What about the other room?”
He unbuttoned my shorts. “Smaller version of this.”
“Can I see?”
“There’s nothing to see,” Stefan muttered, struggling to get my shorts off as I refused to lift my hips. “Help me out here,” he finally growled, sitting back to rub impatiently over his jeans as I slowly peeled off my shirt.
“Let me go to the bathroom real quick?” I asked in a dainty voice once I was down to my bra and shorts.
“Why do you girls always have to do that?” Stefan groaned, getting off of me. “It’s over there,” he nodded at the master bathroom attached to the bedroom. I looked at it.
“I want to use the other one.”
“Why?”
“I left my purse in there, okay?” I frowned as if confused by his outburst. “Don’t be a grump with me,” I murmured in a baby voice, forcing myself to give a flick of tongue with my kiss before hopping off the bed and out of the room. Through the corner of my eye on my way out, I saw Stefan go for the line on the nightstand. The fact that he was so coke-fueled somewhat scared me but at the same time, it felt like I was under the influence of some drug of my own. Outside of my tasks, my mind was now blank. I had tunnel vision and far less apprehension than I should as I closed Stefan’s doors and made a beeline for the smaller bedroom.
It was haphazardly locked, easy to undo with some aggressive yanking of the handle. Ten seconds later, I was looking into an empty bedroom, the sheets on the bed looking slightly used. When I heard Stefan ca
ll out from next door – “Hurry up!” – I ran out and closed the door behind me, bolting quietly into the bathroom to alert Abram. Done. I sent the single word text and slipped back outside to unlock the front door. Only then did my heart start to beat a little faster. It was pounding by the time I returned to Stefan.
He was sitting at the edge of the bed, down to his dark blue boxers, his hand moving underneath them as he kept his eyes fixed tight on me. He stroked in silence for a little before showing his irritation. “You should be naked already. Get naked.”
“I’m sure you can ask nicer than that,” I sulked playfully, undoing my zipper at a snail’s pace.
“Get naked.” Stefan repeated in the same short tone.
Thirty-four…thirty-three… I counted down the seconds to ensure that I’d have to touch Stefan for the shortest amount of time possible. “I’m getting there,” I murmured, shedding my shorts so I was down to my black bra and panties. He let out a groan when I finally put my hands on his chest, pushing him back on the bed and straddling his torso.
“Yeah… let me see that nice body of yours, Mya.”
“Isla.”
“Come on, show me.”
“Patience, Stefan.” I pushed my straps down one at a time.
“You’re killin’ me here,” he hissed as I reached around, pretending to unfasten my bra.
“Don’t be dramatic,” I scolded. Eighteen… seventeen…
“Sweetheart, I don’t think you realize just how dire the situation – ” Stefan’s drawl stopped suddenly. He looked from my breasts to my eyes and instantly, I knew something was wrong. Slowly, he narrowed his stare at me. “You just called me Stefan?”