Destiny Mine
Page 19
“You enjoyed Table Mountain and Kristenburg Botanical Garden so much that I took a wild guess—pun intended—that you enjoy nature. What’s more natural than animals?”
She laughed. “Thanks for being observant. I hope they have elephants.”
The day superseded anything her imagination could have come up with and when he dropped her off at her hotel that evening, she regretted having to let him go. “You have to work tomorrow, right?”
“Yes, but I’ll be finished by four. Would you like to have dinner with me? I know tomorrow is your last full day. I wish I could spend it with you, but the sick are unyielding.”
Her mind screamed, No. Don’t be a dummy. No dinner. Don’t ever see him again. But her heart whispered, Yes, Aurora. Go out to dinner with him. Enjoy his company while you can.
She muted her mind. “I’d like that.”
“Great. I’ll pick you up at about five, then?”
“Okay.”
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. The peck left the spot burning. She’d have to ice it down when she got upstairs.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night.”
In her room, away from his intoxicating presence, her stomach clenched with guilt for not calling or thinking about her fiancé throughout the day.
They weren’t in love, but they got along well. Six months after they’d started dating, they agreed that perhaps love and attraction would come with time. A year later and they were more like kissing cousins than heartfelt lovers, but they’d decided to get engaged. She wouldn’t get any younger and knew that real love existed for a very few lucky people and in romance novels. He would make a good provider and father to her children, but she’d never expect love from him.
Jason’s face came into her mind and her guilt paled in comparison to the feelings of discovery she’d experienced. She couldn’t define it or give it a word, but energy sizzled within her when they were together. A reaction she’d never experienced before, but one she wouldn’t mind exploring some more.
She touched her fingers to the spot he’d kissed. Why hadn’t she met him first?
***
The conversation during dinner flowed like champagne at a wedding. With time not on their side, they tried to learn as much about each other as possible. Laughter bubbled over until they drew attention from other diners, but they didn’t care.
Back at her hotel, they closed down the bar.
“I hope this doesn’t come off as more than it is, but would you like to come up to my room to continue talking?” she asked. “Or we could sit in the hotel lobby.” Why hadn’t she thought about the lobby first?
“As long as you promise not to tear off my clothes and ravage me, we can head to your room.”
She made sure her tone was dry. “I’ll restrain myself.”
In her room, they sat in the armchairs and continued where they’d left off at the bar. Through the course of the night, they ended up lying side by side on the bed still dressed, holding hands. Sexual attraction permeated the air, but neither of them acted on it.
She cherished the comfort of their newfound friendship. She’d shared her fears, her dreams, and joys with him. Something she’d only been able to do with her best friend and cousin, Esi, after being pushed. She revealed more than she’d ever thought she’d share with any man, wanting him to know everything about her life and experiences.
As the night turned into morning, they fell asleep cuddled in each other’s arms. When Ora woke up a few hours later, she touched his cheek. He turned his head toward her hand, but continued to sleep.
“I love you, Jason,” she whispered.
The unbidden, spoken revelation shocked her so much she jumped off the bed and backed away.
What had she done? She’d fallen in love with the man. The sound of her hand hitting her forehead echoed loud in the stillness of the morning. She shook her head until dizziness overcame her. This emotional encounter proved to be a bigger betrayal to her fiancé than a sexual one. She’d made a promise, not just to him, but to herself to marry him. She couldn’t leave him embarrassed in front of their friends and family. What would everyone think of her? Her mother would be so disappointed in yet another cancelled relationship.
She walked to the window, leaned her forehead against the cool glass, and took deep, slow breaths.
She loved Jason. Her heart had chosen one man while being engaged to another. The depth of emotion for Jason surrounded her like the Northern Ghana heat. Her engagement would never end up with love blooming between them because her heart belonged to another.
She raked her hair back, raising her eyes up to the ceiling.
Not again. The words reverberated through her mind.
Rubbing her arms to ward off the chill that had settled on her, she came to a decision. No way she’d break off the engagement. This time, she’d follow through and marry the man she’d promised herself to. Nothing, not even love, would stop her. They could be happy together, even without love. She clenched her jaw with determination. There would be no more broken commitments on her record.
Love tended to be a fickle emotion. Even if she broke off the engagement and told Jason everything residing in her heart, nothing could come from it. They lived on the same continent, but were worlds apart. His interest would wane and he’d leave her. Another reason to stay with her fiancé; her emotional investment was nominal. If he decided to leave her one day, she’d be able to handle it. The same wouldn’t be true about Jason. She’d break down when he left her.
She’d stay with the surer of the two men and save her heart in the end.
Strong hands on her shoulders made her jump.
Jason laughed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. Good morning.”
He placed a gentle kiss on her neck. She tilted her head and leaned back into him, wanting more.
Remembering the vow she had made to herself, she pulled away. “I have to grab a shower and get going. My flight is in three hours.”
“I’ll take you to the airport.”
His contagious smile almost caused her to smile back, but the crushing pain in her heart wouldn’t allow it.
She had to get away from him. “That’s okay. You have to work.” She busied herself straightening out a bed the maids would strip down when she checked out.
“I can get someone to cover for me for a couple of hours.”
She sighed. “Jason, you’re making it hard for me to go.”
“It’s hard for me to watch you leave. I’ve fallen in love with you, Ora.”
Her heart leapt for joy but her mind raced with reality and regret. She turned away so he wouldn’t see the tears welling up in her eyes. “I told you I have fiancé.”
“I remember. Believe me, I never intended to fall in love with you. It just happened.”
She sniffled and tried to make her voice come out steady. “I have to go soon.”
He walked over and turned her around by the shoulders. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you with my love.”
His voice sounded strained, as if tears clogged his throat. She leaned into him when he wrapped his arms around her, knowing it would be the last time she’d ever feel his touch again. She inhaled his essence mixed with the spicy cologne lingering on his skin and tried to absorb him into herself.
She owed him the truth.
Tilting her head back, she memorized the exact shade of his brown eyes. “I love you, too, Jason. Out of nowhere, it hit me this morning and it’s tearing me up, but I made a commitment and I’m going to honour it.”
“Do you love him?” His voice came out low and gentle.
It would be easier on both of them if she lied, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. “I’ve never loved him, but we’ve made promises to each other.”
“Then why are you going to marry him?”
“I promised him.”
“But you just admitted you’re in love with me, not him. How can you marry him?”
She refused to e
xplain it; he wouldn’t understand, anyway. She didn’t understand it herself. She knew for certain her mind had been made up with no going back.
Ora did the hardest thing she’d ever had to do in her life and backed out of his arms. “Thank you for everything. I enjoyed getting to know you.”
His eyes were filled with confusion. “That’s it? You’re going to let our love go? I can’t do that. I’ve never loved anyone like this before. I’m going to break apart when you fly off to Ghana. I need to be with you, Ora.”
She squared her shoulders to help keep herself strong. “It’s not possible.”
“That’s not true. You won’t make it possible. Will you be happy with him?”
With each word he spoke, she died inside, her tears the only indication of her pain. “I don’t know. But I have to try to make it work.”
“Please don’t marry him.”
She swallowed hard. “Jason. I have to go. Thank you for a wonderful time. I’ll call you when I get home to let you know I’ve arrived safely.”
She wanted to smile, but couldn’t make the corners of her mouth move. As hard as leaving him now would be, there’d be less pain than when he left her later. She looked at him one last time, memorizing every feature of his face. Then she forced herself to turn her back and walked into the bathroom to take a shower.
Ora returned to an empty room. She laid on the bed and cried.