“Chill, Holly. I’m just glad you came.”
My eyes glanced discreetly over to the grill where Jesse was working. I couldn’t help but think he was purposely keeping his eyes averted. He looked intent on what he was doing and I wondered if he was as aware of me as I was of him. He must’ve felt me watching him because he suddenly looked up. I felt as if I’d been caught stealing a cookie and I shot him a little smile before looking back to my friends.
“C’mon. Let’s go get the food,” Mandy said and held the door open for us.
“I’m gonna go help Jesse with the grill,” Brandon said, motioning to him. I watched as he walked with just the slightest of limps and then followed Holly and Mandy inside.
It was strange walking into his house. It had once been like my second home. We’d been through so much in it. When I stepped into the kitchen it was exactly as I remembered it, only a little dustier and I wondered how often Jesse’s uncle came over to check on the place. Mandy had a spread laid out on the counter of burger patties and condiments along with some potato salad and baked beans.
“You really went all out,” Holly said as she picked up a fork and took a bite of the potato salad.
“Of course I did. This is a big deal. When’s the next time this will happen again? Probably never. I mean, who knows how long Jesse’s gonna stick around? He’ll probably up and disappear again for all we know. I wanted to make it special. It’s just too bad Laura couldn’t be here,” Mandy said with a frown and we all nodded in agreement. It wouldn’t be the same without her. “Let’s just try and have some fun tonight.” She handed me the plate of burgers, while Holly picked up the condiments and salad and Mandy grabbed the beans.
Smoke was trailing up from the grill when we walked outside and the air smelled of charcoal. Brandon and Jesse were sitting in lawn chairs talking when we put the food on the table.
“Is the grill about ready?” Mandy asked.
“Just a few more minutes,” Jesse answered and I thought his voice sounded deeper than I’d remembered. He’d changed since he left Carver, it was obvious just by looking at him, but he was still Jesse. The Marines could never change that.
Holly and Mandy each sat down. I sat down too, and I wasn’t sure if they did it on purpose or not, but they made sure the chair I got was as far away from Jesse as possible.
“I can’t believe we’re all here,” Mandy said, looking around at the group. “We’ve gotta take a picture for Laura. I know she wants to be here and she’ll love seeing us all together. I’m still trying to convince her to drive up here. I know she’d like to see you guys.”
“I actually saw her about a year and a half ago,” Jesse said unexpectedly and we all turned to look at him.
“She never mentioned that,” Mandy said curiously.
“I was in Oklahoma for some training and we met up.”
“So you were in Oklahoma for training?” Holly asked and Jesse nodded. “Where are you stationed at right now?” she continued and I thought it odd that none of us knew. We’d been so close and it was like he’d vanished. I felt like we were getting to know a stranger that had tagged along.
“Technically I’m in North Carolina. Camp Lejune.”
“How much longer are you there for?” Holly continued.
“Technically, I’m attached there for about another month.”
“That’s a whole lot of technically,” Holly laughed. “What does that mean anyway?”
“It means I’m in the process of getting out. I’m on terminal leave.”
“For the laymen in the group, could you please expound?” Holly asked and I was grateful she was being so nosey. She was asking all the questions I wanted to know.
“It’s the leave time I have saved up. I can use it to get myself together for when I transition to civilian life and when that leave is up, I just mail in my ID and I’m done, although I’ll probably go back to check out. I’ve got some loose ends to tie up there.”
“And what will your civilian life be?”
“Ya know, Holly, I don’t recall you being this nosey. That was more Mandy’s department,” he said as he grinned between my two friends. I smiled too because it was true.
“While that honor is usually reserved for Mandy, I thought I’d take over for tonight. She needs a break every once in a while. I think we’re all just interested in your life seeing as how you’ve basically shut us out.” There was sarcasm in her voice that rippled uncomfortably in the air. Holly sounded sad and even a little angry.
“Anyway,” Mandy cut in, obviously wanting to diffuse the situation. “I think that grill is probably ready, don’t you think, Jesse?”
I watched as Jesse nodded and stood up, taking the plate of burgers and placing them on the grill with a loud sizzle.
Conversation was minimal as Jesse grilled. Brandon got up and went into the back of the shed, turning on the stereo. Soon Hunter Hays was flowing from the speakers and the tension Holly had incited seemed to go away. Jesse finished grilling the burgers and soon we were all eating. I noticed Jesse never did answer Holly’s question regarding what he planned to do after he got out of the Marines. I had to admit I was curious though. When we were together, he mentioned wanting to be a cop or possibly do something with computers. I wondered if that was still the case.
“Should I bring out the quads?” Jesse asked, looking around at the group as we finished up.
“Hell yeah!” Brandon said before he took the last bite of his burger and then followed Jesse into the shed.
“Things seem to be going pretty well,” Mandy said, smiling eagerly over to me.
“Yeah,” I nodded.
“It’s still weird,” Holly whispered. “He’s so guarded.”
“You shouldn’t have given him the third degree,” Mandy griped as I remained quiet.
“I didn’t give him the third degree. I was simply asking questions we all wanted to know.”
“True, but still. This couldn’t have been easy for him to come back. You don’t need to make it any harder.”
“It’s only hard because he made it hard,” Holly said, a bitterness to her voice. “If anyone should be having a hard time, it’s Riley.”
“I’m fine, Holly,” I said, looking over to her.
“I know you say that, but I don’t know how you’re just sitting there after what he did to you.”
“That was so long ago,” I whispered, looking towards the shed to make sure Brandon and Jesse couldn’t hear our conversation. “I’m not mad anymore.”
“Stop playing the martyr. You know you’re mad. Hell! I’m still mad and the fact that he can hardly look at you shows he knows what he did was wrong.”
“Holly, I’m not going to relive this,” I said, looking at her sternly. “Jesse thought what he was doing was the right thing. I don’t doubt that. Maybe it was the right thing. I don’t know. All I know is that he’s here now. We’re all here and I just want to move past this.”
Our heads all jerked up when we heard the quads being wheeled out. I leaned back in my chair, as did Holly and Mandy and my eyes met Holly’s. She looked at me with pity and I wished she’d stop.
“I’m fine,” I mouthed discreetly to her and she nodded. I appreciated my friend’s concern, but it wasn’t warranted.
“Okay,” she mouthed back and we both turned to where Jesse and Brandon were fiddling with the four wheelers.
“So we gassed ‘em up and now the real question is whether they’ll run or not,” Jesse said as he straddled his favorite quad. A moment later, it sputtered and roared to life. He looked over to Brandon with a triumphant smile and then glanced at me for a moment before his eyes settled on Mandy. “Wanna ride?” he shouted over the engine.
“Sure!” she called back and climbed on behind him, wrapping her arms around him and a second later, they were blazing down the road, a cloud of dust behind them.
Brandon turned to Holly and me, his eyes darting between us.
“I’m not sure I’m
quite up to handling a quad yet. Which of you lovely ladies would like to be my driver?”
“Go ahead, Riley,” Holly said, nudging me towards Brandon. “I’m still eating.”
I’d never quite got the hang of four-wheeling and was usually the passenger. It might be nice to be the one in control though.
“It’s payback time,” I said as I climbed on the quad. Brandon got on as soon as I was settled on the seat and I felt his arms thread around my waist.
“I don’t have a good feeling about this,” he laughed as I tried to start the engine. “How pathetic is it going to be if I survive a roadside attack in Afghanistan and then turn around and die in a four-wheeling accident in Carver?”
“I’ll try not to kill you,” I said as the engine finally turned over and the machine started to shake. “Hold on!” I called as I throttled it and we flew forward, following the same path Jesse and Mandy had taken. I could see their quad far off in the distance in the setting sun, heading down the main road, dust flying behind it.
“Where the hell’s he going?” I heard Brandon shout and then he paused for a second. “Wait…I think he’s heading to Mrs. Kramer’s place. Follow him.”
I did as Brandon said and pulled out onto the road as I tried not to think about seeing Mrs. Kramer’s house for the first time since I found Jesse there the night his mom had left him again. I just kept my eyes on the road and I heard nothing but the engine until I saw the grove of trees surrounding the dilapidated house come into view. I saw Jesse’s quad parked by the pond and I pulled in beside it.
“I haven’t been to this place in like ten years,” Brandon said as he climbed off. “It’s even shittier than I remember it.”
I had to agree with him. When Jesse had first taken me there the summer we graduated, it looked like something from a horror movie. He’d even had me going for a bit that Mrs. Kramer had been murdered by a group of rogue devil worshippers. I couldn’t help but smile at the memory of that day and how he’d convinced me to go swimming in the pond in nothing but our underwear. After that, the house didn’t scare me anymore. We’d shared so much at the isolated property, but looking at the house now, it appeared even more run down. The roof had started to cave in and the white paint was almost non-existent anymore.
“Did Jesse ever bring you out here?” Brandon asked as he looked around.
“Yeah,” I said softly as my eyes focused on a secluded section in the grove of trees.
“Damn, we had some good times out here,” Brandon sighed as he started walking towards the pond.
“Us too,” I whispered to myself so he couldn’t hear and I started walking towards the trees and that special spot. As I walked, I looked around, wondering where Mandy and Jesse were. I stopped when I stepped into the hovering canopy of trees and my eyes spanned over it slowly. I still remembered that night like it happened yesterday. I thought a lot about that night and even though our future turned out much different than I’d expected, I didn’t regret what we did in that spot for one second. I’d loved Jesse and what we’d shared was something I’d never change. I closed my eyes and I could still feel the way he touched me and the way it’d made me feel. No one had ever made me feel the way he did. So delicate and thoughtful…he only wanted me to be happy. He’d left Carver because he wanted me to be happy when little did he know I’d never been happier than when I’d been with him.
My reminiscing was interrupted by a high-pitched squeal and I turned abruptly towards the house. Mandy came running out of the front door looking terrified. I walked quickly out of the grove of trees and when she saw me, she picked up speed and didn’t stop till she was at my side. Her eyes were wide and she was breathing as if she’d just run a marathon.
“Mandy, what’s wrong?” I asked as she grabbed onto me and then I heard bellowing laughter coming from the house. Jesse and Brandon were nearly doubled over, holding their guts as they chuckled like two idiots.
“Those…two…jackasses!” she panted, unable to catch her breath as she glared at them.
“What happened?”
She just hunched over, trying to catch her breath and I saw the two of them start walking in our direction. They were still laughing, but I could tell they were trying to control themselves.
“What did you guys do?” I asked them both, but I only looked at Brandon.
“We were just having a little fun,” Brandon said seriously, but I could tell he was trying to hold the laughter in and a second later, he snorted and he and Jesse both lost control again.
“Seriously. What’d you do?” I asked.
“We were just trying to scare her,” Brandon continued.
“Well, obviously you succeeded,” I scoffed.
“They locked me in the bathroom of that death trap,” Mandy finally interjected.
“We didn’t lock her in,” Jesse said defensively. “She’d never been out here and I told her that same story I told you, about the satanic cult, remember that?” he asked, looking at me quickly before continuing. “She wanted to see the pentagram so we went in and then she started looking around.”
“When she walked into the bathroom, I just happened to accidently shut the door,” Brandon piped in.
“Accidently, my ass! I couldn’t get out!” Mandy shouted. “Then I heard this clawing at the window and then banging on the door. They kept me in there forever!” Mandy was practically in tears and I knew they’d definitely freaked her out.
“We did not. It was like a minute,” Brandon said with an eye roll.
“Whatever. You scared the crap out of me and when they finally let me out, they were gone and then they jumped out and started chasing me as I was running out of the house. It was freaky as hell!” She was glaring at them with her arms folded and then muttered, “Assholes.”
“That was messed up,” I said as I looked between them.
“I wanna go back,” Mandy said as she marched towards the quads.
“C’mon, Mandy, don’t be like that,” Brandon said, following her, leaving just Jesse and me in the back drop of the grove.
I saw his eyes drift behind me and I knew he was thinking about the same thing I had been before Mandy’s terrified screams interrupted me. I was nervous being alone with him in such a sacred spot, where we’d first been together. His eyes made their way back from the grove and back to me. I told myself I was fine with everything…with coming to hang out with my friends…with seeing Jesse, but having him this close to me in a place that held so many memories was too much and it conjured up too many emotions. It got my mind thinking of too many things I had worked so hard to repress.
“We should probably get back. Holly’s gonna be wondering where we are,” I said, not waiting for him to say anything and I walked by him, but not fast enough as I caught a hint of that scent that was all Jesse and I quickly headed to the quads. I expected him to be right behind me, but when I got back to the four-wheelers and climbed on, he was still standing there, staring into the trees and I wanted to know what he was thinking.
I started the engine and looked over to Mandy. She was still glaring at Brandon who was continuing to apologize.
“C’mon, Mandy. Let’s get outta here,” I said and she smirked at Brandon before climbing on behind me.
“Later jerks,” she called out as we pulled away from Mrs. Kramer’s, leaving Jesse and Brandon in our dust.
Holly was sitting in one of the chairs, drinking a soda when we pulled up.
“Where have you guys been?” she asked once I’d parked the quad and we got off. “I was about to send out a search party.”
“Jesse took us to this creepy old house,” Mandy said bitterly.
“What creepy old house?”
“Mrs. Kramer’s old place,” I added.
“I’ve never been there.”
“I hadn’t either and for future reference, don’t go,” Mandy huffed, stomping off.
“I take it something happened.”
“Brandon and Jesse were trying to b
e funny and ended up freaking her out,” I said, trying to stifle my laugh. “Don’t tell her I said this, but her reaction was actually pretty funny.”
“Where are they now?” she asked, straining off in the distance.
“Still there probably. We left them behind. They should be back soon.”
I went over to the table and started picking up the food and walked it back into the house. After I put everything away, I went to head back outside, but as my hand rested on the doorknob, I stopped and I found my body slowly turning, drawing my gaze down the hall. Before I realized what I was doing, I was walking and I’d stopped in front of the door that led to Jesse’s bedroom. It was open a crack and I reached up, slowly pushing it open all the way. The light from the hallway lit it up and it looked just as I remembered. The same furniture, the same bedspread, the same Kansas City Royals pendant on the wall. I stepped inside, even though I knew I shouldn’t and I closed my eyes, remembering all the time we’d spent in there. The first time I’d set foot in the room, we’d been working on a project for our Constitution class. That was the night he’d first kissed me, even though I’d told myself I hadn’t wanted him to. It was where we’d first spent the night together, right before he left. He’d just held me all night and it was one of the best nights of my life. He’d finally seemed to be coming to grips with his dad’s death, but little did I know, it was the beginning of the end for us.
I opened my eyes and sat down on the bed as I continued to look around the room. I knew I should leave. I knew I shouldn’t be in his room. I knew it was weird and if anyone caught me they’d think I was a total spaz, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave. And then my eyes noticed something I’d never seen before on his dresser. I’d been in the room enough to have its contents memorized and the small frame had never been there. It was a picture Mandy had taken of us. Jesse’s arm was around me and I was leaning into his chest. We were both smiling and I’d never realized how happy we’d looked. I picked it up, staring down at it and I wondered why it was there.
Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three) Page 5