I wasn’t back in Carver though. I was in Kansas City and I couldn’t stay in the bathroom forever, so I took a deep breath and left the safety of the stall. I washed my hands and looked in the mirror as I straightened my hair and checked my teeth before leaving the bathroom.
As I got closer to the dining room, I heard muffled voices around a corner I was nearing. I recognized one of them as Evan’s and I slowed down. I knew I shouldn’t eavesdrop, but I couldn’t help myself as Evan’s voice and the other voice, which I identified as his mother’s, got clearer. I stopped, hovering near the safety of the wall that separated us, hoping they wouldn’t hear me.
“I just want you to be sure about this, Evan,” I heard his mother’s voice say. She was trying to speak quietly, but it wasn’t quiet enough and I could hear every word.
“I am sure.”
“You’re only twenty-two. You just graduated from college. You don’t need to settle down right away.”
“Mom, please. I wouldn’t have asked Riley to marry me if I wasn’t serious about this. I love her.”
I felt myself take in a quiet breath as I waited for her response.
“I know you love her,” Julie continued and I could hear determination in her voice. “I just don’t want you doing anything you’ll regret. I wish you’d just think about it. Just slow down a little.”
Even though Evan was trying to dissuade his mother’s doubts, it hurt knowing she needed dissuading. It would be hard having a good relationship with a mother-in-law who never wanted me to marry her son in the first place. I waited anxiously to see how Evan would respond to Julie and I got nervous as it seemed to take him forever to answer.
“The only thing I’ll regret is not marrying her. Now let’s get back to the table,” he said and then I heard their footsteps walking away. I waited for a few moments and just stood there, trying not to let his mother’s words get to me. I understood her concern. I’m sure my mom felt the same way, but it still didn’t make it any easier to hear.
Chapter Twenty
The trip to Kansas City hadn’t been horrible…well, maybe getting to know Julie better had been horrible, but now that Evan’s family knew and my family knew, it was official and Evan couldn’t have been more anxious. I, on the other hand, was still getting used to the idea of getting married. I felt guilty about not being as excited as Evan and now that I was back in Carver, I was lonely. My mom was out with Jack, my grandmother was gone, my fiancé was four hours away and my friends were all living their own lives. As I looked around the old farm house, I knew there was no reason to stay here. My life wasn’t in Carver anymore. It hadn’t been since I left for college. Kansas City wasn’t that bad either. It was a big city with culture and great restaurants and entertainment. While it wasn’t Boston, it had the atmosphere I longed for when I first came to Kansas. Maybe spending the summer in Kansas City was exactly what I needed. I could focus on Evan, the way it’d been when we’d been in Manhattan, and I could finally close the chapter on my life in this tiny town I’d once despised. It could just be the town I came back to to visit my family and look back on the good and not so good memories I had here.
My phone beeped, seeming extra loud in the empty house, and I grabbed it off the coffee table. It was from Jesse and I don’t know why it caused me to smile before reading it, but it did.
JESSE: BRANDON & MANDY ARE MEETING OVER AT MY HOUSE TO HANG OUT. WE’RE ORDERING PIZZA. WANNA COME?
I didn’t even have to think twice before I responded back.
ME: SURE.
JESSE: SEE YA IN 30.
I got my butt off the couch and went upstairs to get ready. I’d been slumming it in a pair of yoga pants and a threadbare t-shirt I’d thrown on after work. I exchanged it for a pair of cut-offs and a vintage looking red t-shirt and then looked in the mirror. I ran a brush through my hair, pulling through the mats that had formed as I’d lounged on the couch, the back of my head pressing into the cushions. Once it was smooth again, I brushed on a little mascara and blush and then texted my mom to tell her I was going out, before heading over to Jesse’s place.
When I pulled in, I saw Mandy’s car was already there and figured Brandon was probably with her. As I walked towards the shed, I could hear music flowing from inside. I thought it was Luke Bryan, but I wasn’t sure. Jesse would be ashamed if he knew my knowledge of country music was still as pathetic as it’d been before he left.
I walked into the shed and heard pool balls clanking over the music and the smell of pizza wafting from the game room in the back. I headed towards it just in time to see Brandon sink a solid red ball into the corner pocket. He looked up at me and then smiled smugly as he balanced his pool cue on the floor.
“Why’re you looking at me like that?” I asked him and he just continued to grin as he motioned towards the couch with his eyes. Mandy was sitting there, arms folded as she glared at me.
“Someone’s not too happy with you,” Brandon said and I heard Jesse laugh as he lined himself up for a shot.
“I’ve never really been mad at you, Riley,” Mandy began. “Not even when you left Carver without telling us. Nope. I’ve never been mad…not until right now.”
“I take it Jesse told you?” I said, looking over to him, but he just kept focusing on the pool table.
“Yes. Jesse told me.”
“Sorry. I thought you would’ve told her by now,” he said as he attempted to hit a striped green ball into a side pocket.
“I had to hear it from Jesse. Not from you and that is why I’m mad at you. How could you not tell me? It’s been like a week since you got engaged and I had to find out from Jesse of all people…which is totally weird in its own right. Why didn’t you tell me?” she continued to pester in the high-pitched voice she always used when she was really annoyed.
“I haven’t really told anyone. I’m sorry.”
“And why not? This is incredible news! You’re the first of us to get married. You should be shouting it from the rooftops.”
“I’m not married yet,” I laughed.
“Don’t be dumb. You know what I mean. This is fantastic. We have so much to start talking about. I mean…I’m assuming I’ll be a bridesmaid, and Laura and Holly too. We’ve got to get them both down here so we can start planning.”
“Take a breath, Mandy,” I laughed and she just rolled her eyes. “But, yes,” I said, trying to appease her. “Let’s try and get everyone together and we can do some planning.”
I could tell by the way she looked at me, she still wanted to be upset at me, but she cracked a little smile and nodded in a way that told me she was already in the process of figuring out how to get everyone to Carver.
“Speaking of planning, my mom’s wedding is sneaking up on me. How much do I have to pay you guys to help me with the centerpieces?” I said, looking around at the three of them.
“No charge,” Brandon said as he leaned in to take another shot.
“You know we’re here to help,” Mandy said. “Besides, it’ll give us some practice for your wedding.”
“I’m in,” Jesse added.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
“Let’s go get some drinks for everyone. We were just waiting for you to get here to start eating,” Mandy said and then walked over to Brandon, taking him by the arm. “Gimme a hand.”
I was surprised that Brandon didn’t protest and instead, followed her obediently to the house, leaving just Jesse and me and the soft croonings of Rascal Flatts.
“Help yourself to some pizza,” he said as he hung up his pool stick and I walked over, grabbing a plate and placing a piece of pepperoni on it before sitting down on the old couch that had been in the room for as long as I’d known Jesse.
“So, how was your trip?” he asked, getting himself a slice too.
“Um…it was okay.”
“Are you sure? Because I used to know you pretty well and whenever you used um in a sentence, it wasn’t a good sign.”
He hesitated fo
r a moment, but then he sat down on the couch too, making sure to leave a cushion between us.
“I’m just trying to get used to this whole engagement thing.”
“What’s there to get used to? He asked you to marry him and you said yes.”
I couldn’t tell if I imagined the edge in his voice or not.
“It’s just a lot to think about. There’s so much planning and there are decisions to be made.” My voice was hasty, I knew that, but it was just pouring from my mouth. “Evan’s mom wants us to get married at their country club and Evan’s already talking about booking our engagement photos and I have to decide if I’m going to move in with Evan in Kansas City for the rest of the summer like he wants me to and to top it all off, I really don’t think Evan’s mom likes me.”
“Hey,” Jesse said, his voice sweet and soothing and it caused me to stop and take a breath. “Slow down. You’re rambling and just like with your use of um, rambling tells me you’re stressing out.”
“You think you still know me so well,” I said, glancing over to him and he looked taken aback, but then I smiled. “You probably do.”
“Then just slow down. If you wanna talk, I’m here.”
“I don’t want to burden you with my problems,” I said and then stopped and looked at him again. “If you could even call them problems. I mean real problems are not having enough food or money or a place to live. I’d hardly call my issues problems.”
“If they’re stressing you out then they’re problems and you need to talk about them.”
I turned my body to face Jesse and I was reminded of our relationship before everything went down with Alex…before we were a couple…before he broke my heart…when we were merely friends…best friends. I could talk to him about anything and he always knew what to say.
“It was just weird…hanging out with Evan’s family. Telling them made it even more real.” I was twisting at the ring on my left hand nervously.
“Riley,” he began and I could tell he was proceeding with caution. “Do you want to get married?”
“What?” I exclaimed. “Of course I want to get married.” I knew I was glaring at him, but he was probably used to it. I’d often glared at him when he was trying to get into my head.
“Then what’s the big deal about all the planning and stuff? That’s what happens when you get married.”
“You don’t think I know that?” I spat at him.
“It’s nice to see how easily you’ve regained your ability to jump down my throat.” He started laughing and I couldn’t help it when I started laughing too.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I guess I’m just nervous is all.”
“Of course you are. Anything unknown is scary,” he said and I had a feeling he wasn’t only talking about my wedding. “It’ll all work out though,” he said and then paused for a moment before continuing. “Why do you think his mom doesn’t like you?”
I sighed and leaned back onto the couch, turning my head to look at him.
“I overheard a conversation between them. She told him she didn’t want him to do anything he’d regret.”
“And what’d he say?”
“He said the only thing he’d regret is not marrying me.”
Jesse didn’t say anything for a while and I watched him out of the corner of my eye. He was thinking about something and I would’ve loved to have been able to get inside his mind and find out what it was.
“Regret,” was all he said and it grew quiet again for a few moments before he leaned back and turned his head to me, our eyes meeting. “Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.”
“That quote is so cliché. You don’t really believe that, do you?” I said quickly.
“Yes, I do,” he answered and as I looked into his familiar eyes, I wondered if maybe I did too. All of the pain from the summer his dad died came washing over me like an open wound. I felt the tear in my heart as I read the letter that told me he was leaving as if it were yesterday. I’d been shattered when he left because I’d never loved anyone so deeply or so completely. And then I thought of the good times we shared…the almost magical times. I knew people spent a lifetime searching for even a minute of the happiness I’d shared with Jesse and I wondered if the quote might be true after all. Would I trade what I’d shared with Jesse to avoid the hurt and sorrow his leaving had given me? No. I knew I wouldn’t change it for anything, because despite the pain, I knew he’d loved me and I knew part of him probably still did, even though life had had other plans for us.
“I guess maybe I do too,” I said quietly and then he sat up, peering out the door.
“Seriously, where are they with those drinks?”
“Let’s just go inside and get some ourselves,” I suggested.
“Good idea,” he said and I followed him out of the shed.
When we walked into the house, I expected to find Brandon and Mandy, but it was quiet and Jesse and I looked at each other curiously.
“Where the hell are they?” he asked, peeking his head into the living room and then down the hallway.
“Any sight of ‘em?” I asked and he shook his head.
He reached into the fridge and handed a soda can to me and then got one for himself before we headed back outside. We’d only taken a few steps away from the house when a soft giggle caused us both to stop.
“Did you hear that?” he asked.
“Yeah. It sounded like Mandy.”
Jesse didn’t say anything, but he turned in the opposite direction of the shed and headed towards the side of the house. As we got closer, I heard rustling, like feet scraping against dirt and rocks and then a squeal and Jesse and I looked at each other knowing it was definitely Mandy. Jesse raised his eyebrows and shot me a playful grin, encouraging to me to follow. When we turned the corner, we both stopped when we were greeted with the image of Mandy leaning against the siding, Brandon’s arms around her. As they kissed, it looked as if it’d been a while since they’d come up for air.
Jesse cleared his throat, but as I looked at him, I could tell he was trying not to laugh. Their heads jerked up and they stared at us, looking guilty as sin. Mandy looked mortified, and while Brandon looked embarrassed, there was also a smugness on his face, so typically Brandon.
“Looks like we’ve been caught,” he smiled while Mandy hid her face in his chest.
“And how long has this been going on?” Jesse asked.
“Yeah,” I added. “Is this a new thing or are you two involved in some torrid love affair?”
Mandy finally revealed her face, but she didn’t look at us. She was looking at Brandon and she was smiling at him.
“Well, I’m not sure I’d call it torrid,” Brandon said. “But it is pretty hot.”
Mandy finally pulled away from the wall and linked hands with Brandon.
“Aren’t we a hypocrite?” I smirked over to Mandy and she looked at me with bugged eyes.
“What’re you talking about?”
“You just went off on me for not telling you I was engaged and yet you didn’t tell us about you and Brandon. That’s a bit of a double-standard, don’t you think?”
“No. It’s different. Totally different,” she said quickly.
“Seriously, why didn’t you tell us?” I asked and they looked at each other again.
“I don’t know,” Mandy said, shrugging her shoulders.
“It was actually kind of fun keeping it a secret,” Brandon grinned. “But now that it’s out in the open, you can all get to know Brandy.”
“Brandy?” I asked, looking between the two of them with an obviously confused expression on my face.
“It’s our couple’s nickname. Every great couple has one. Like TomCat. Well, maybe that’s not such a good example. They did break up and Tom Cruise is a total psycho, but you get the point. Although, I haven’t quite decided if I like Brandy or Mandon better yet.” I knew he was just joking, but I couldn’t help but roll my eyes and then we all starte
d laughing.
“Good luck with this one, Mandy,” I said, grinning at my friend.
“I think I may be crazy,” she laughed, but when she looked at him, I knew she was perfectly sane and they could be great together.
“You still haven’t told us how long,” Jesse interrupted.
“A few weeks,” Mandy admitted and as I looked down at their linked hands, I realized how right it looked. They’d always had a playful relationship. Mandy was a ditz and Brandon was a goof, but you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who was more loyal than either of them. It actually surprised me it hadn’t happened sooner.
“Well…” Jesse stammered for a moment, looking over to me awkwardly. “We’ll leave you two to whatever you were doing.” Jesse grinned at them, and then he took my hand suddenly. I jumped at his touch as he started leading me away, but then he suddenly let go as if he remembered he shouldn’t be holding my hand.
“I didn’t see that coming,” Jesse said when we got back to the shed.
“I didn’t either,” I said with a light laugh. “But I think it could actually work. They’re kinda perfect for each other.”
Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three) Page 14