I hung back and watched as Jesse climbed out of the cab. I wasn’t sure if anyone else would’ve picked up on it, but I noticed the uneasiness on Jesse’s face as Evan approached him. Evan reached out and shook Jesse’s hand as they exchanged words and then they went to the back of the truck and started unloading tables together.
“Thanks for picking these up,” I said to Jesse as he and Brandon walked past me.
“No problem,” he answered, but I noticed how he didn’t look at me and I figured it was because Evan was watching him. “We’re gonna need to make another trip to get all the chairs though.”
“I can give you some gas money. I didn’t realize it’d take two trips.”
“You’re not being serious, are you?” he asked, finally looking at me.
“I am. You shouldn’t be running around all over town for me on your dime.”
“I’m not taking your money,” he said with a smirk as he walked back to the truck and then my eyes focused on Brandon, still in awe as I watched how effortlessly he seemed to move as he helped unload the truck. It was strange the way Jesse and Evan worked together and I had to admit, it made me uncomfortable having them interacting. They couldn’t have been more different: Evan in his white collar business clothes and Jesse in his usual loose jeans and t-shirt.
“We’re gonna head back to get the rest,” Jesse said once everything had been unloaded and he and Brandon climbed back in and pulled away. I was almost relieved when Jesse left. The air felt heavier when he and Evan were together, but now that Jesse was gone, I could breathe again.
Evan set up chairs as Mandy and I put the finishing touches on the trellis.
“You did check the weather report, didn’t you? I don’t want this all blowing away if a tornado decides to rip through town,” Mandy said.
“The weather is going to be great so all of our hard work will not be in vain, I assure you. This wedding is going to be perfect. It has to be,” I insisted, straightening a flower and then stepping back to take a look at it. “What do you think?”
Mandy stood next to me, admiring our handiwork and then I felt Evan’s arm slide around my waist.
“Looks good,” he said.
“I hope she likes it. She didn’t want me to do anything. I know she’ll think this is too much.”
“But, she’ll appreciate it,” Evan said and I saw Mandy nod.
“She’ll love it,” she added.
“What else do you have to do?” Evan asked.
“Just set up the rest of the chairs once Jesse and Brandon get back. I’ll put out all the tablecloths and centerpieces tomorrow morning.”
“And the food?’
“I’m picking the cake up in the morning and then the food’s being delivered around three o’clock. The ceremony’s at four so it should be fine,” I said as I started going through everything I needed to do in my mind and then I sighed.
“What’s wrong?” Evan asked.
“I just realized I never picked up the damn sherbet.”
“Sherbet?”
“Yes. It’s for this punch I want to make. I saw it on Pinterest and it looks really good, but I forgot it,” I rambled quickly.
“Hey,” Evan said, taking my hand and turning me to him. “Relax.” He brushed a piece of hair from my forehead and smiled reassuringly at me. “I’ll go get the sherbet and you go inside and relax for a bit, okay?”
“You don’t need to do that. I can go.”
“This is not up for discussion. Go take a break.”
“You don’t even know how to get to Dillon’s,” I sighed and then Mandy piped in.
“I’ll go with him,” she offered.
“See. We’ve got this under control.”
“Fine,” I said, giving a meek smile of appreciation. “Thank you guys.”
“No problem. C’mon, Evan,” Mandy said, walking towards his car.
“No go inside and get a drink or something. We’ll be back in a few minutes.” He kissed me sweetly and then joined Mandy. I watched as they drove away and then went inside.
Evan was right, I needed a breather. I’d been so stressed about making my mom’s wedding perfect that I’d barely taken a minute to myself all day. I went inside and got a glass of lemonade and then parked myself on the couch. It felt good to sit and do nothing. I closed my eyes for a second, but I must’ve nodded off because I was startled awake by the sound of the screen door shutting and Evan and Mandy walking in, sherbet in tow. I glanced at the clock and realized it’d been nearly a half an hour since they left and I stood up.
“Thank you so much, you guys. Seriously, you’re lifesavers.” I took the sherbet and put it in the freezer. When I returned to the living room, Mandy was gone and Evan was sitting on the couch. I didn’t like the look on his face. He looked worried.
“Everything okay?” I asked him.
“Yeah,” he said, but his voice was hesitant. “Can we talk for a sec?”
“Sure.” I knew my voice sounded apprehensive and I walked slowly, sitting down beside him.
“Um…your friend Mandy sure knows how to talk,” he began and I shifted uneasily on the cushion.
“Yeah?” I asked, not knowing what else to say.
“Yeah,” he said and then met his eyes with mine. “She told me some interesting tales about your life before me.”
“Is that right?” My voice was nervous because I could only imagine what she’d told him. With Mandy it could’ve been anything. “What exactly did she tell you?”
“She told me about Alex,” he said and I felt my mouth form into a stern line. “You seem upset.”
“No, I’m not upset. Just curious what exactly you guys were talking about that caused my ex-boyfriend to come up.”
“You never told me about Alex,” he said, sitting forward on the couch so his elbows were resting on his knees.
“Because he’s in my past and I don’t waste my thoughts on him.”
“It sounds like he hurt you pretty badly,” he said and then paused for a moment before continuing. “And Jesse too.”
“What the hell did you guys talk about?” I said with an anxious laugh.
“Why are you getting so worked up about this?”
“I just don’t know why you two felt the need to talk behind my back.” I knew my defensiveness was caused by my nerves. I had worked too hard to put this all behind me and now it was all coming back to slap me in the face.
“And I don’t know why you never shared any of this with me,” he shot back.
“What exactly did Mandy tell you?”
Evan finally sat back on the couch and waited a moment before speaking again.
“Mandy mentioned she thought it was cool I was okay with you hanging out with Jesse again,” he began, but I wasn’t surprised. There had been no doubt it had been Mandy and her big mouth that brought it up. “I asked her why I wouldn’t be cool with it because you’d told me yourself you hadn’t seen him in almost four years and then she told me how Jesse beat the crap out of that asshole Alex before you ran off to Boston. Why didn’t you ever tell me about that?”
“Why would I? I wanted to forget it, Evan. Alex was my biggest mistake and Mandy doesn’t even know the whole story.”
“What is the whole story?”
“What does it matter?”
“It matters because I love you, Riley.”
“It’s my past though and I don’t want to live in the past.”
He just stared at me and I didn’t know how I could keep it from him. I’d never told him about any of it: Alex and what he’d done to me, Jesse and how he’d come after me or how intense the summer had been before Jesse left. It was just easier moving on like it hadn’t happened.
“I thought I loved Alex and I thought he loved me,” I began nervously. “He didn’t. He made some bet that he could sleep with me and guess what? He won that bet and broke up with me two days later. Jesse found out and took care of it.” I knew I was being blunt, but I hated reliving that
time in my life. Even though it had happened almost five years ago, when I thought about, it still hurt. I don’t think you ever get over a betrayal of that nature. You may move on, but you never forget. The only reason it still didn’t fester inside of me was because of my relationship with Jesse that followed. Before Jesse’s dad died, my relationship with him had been the best time of my life. What I had with Jesse overshadowed the pain of Alex.
“I’m sorry, Ry,” he said, taking my hand, and bringing his eyes to meet mine. “I just thought you would’ve told me something like that. That’s a pretty big deal.”
“Maybe five years ago, but not anymore. I’m sure you haven’t told me about every girlfriend you’ve had.”
“Because nothing’s been worth telling. Believe it or not, my life has been pretty boring.”
“Well, I’m glad you’ve lived such a drama-free life. I wish I could say the same for myself, which is why I didn’t tell you. I just wanted to put it all behind me.”
I pulled my hand away from Evan’s and sat back on the couch, bringing my legs up so I was sitting Indian style and staring ahead at the wall instead of at him.
“Have you put Jesse behind you too?”
“What does that mean?” I asked, turning my head quickly to face him.
“You never told me how serious you two were.”
“Why would I? Exes are in the past. No explanation is needed.”
I didn’t want to be discussing this with Evan. I had never told him much about Jesse because I was trying to put him behind me. I always thought it was better Evan not know the whole story about Jesse. It just made life easier and I didn’t want him to think there was still a part of me that wasn’t over what he’d done to me. As I sat in front of him now, I realized it probably would’ve been better to be open about everything, instead of sitting here facing the firing squad.
“Maybe not, but when you start hanging out with your ex, it concerns me a little.”
“You didn’t seem that bothered by it until now.”
“Because you made it sound like it was no big deal.”
“Because it is no big deal.”
“Mandy told me how Jesse left,” he said bluntly and I froze, forcing my eyes to stay focused on the wall this time. “She told me how his dad died and she told me about the letter.”
If Mandy had been in the room I would’ve strangled her. I’d always found her ditzy attitude endearing, but I wanted to kill her for it now.
“What do you want me to say, Evan?” I said softly.
“I just want to know if I have anything to be worried about.” His words weren’t mean or angry. They were gentle and concerned and I turned to face him.
“No, you don’t,” I finally said, bringing my hand to cover his. “Jesse and I have a past…an intense past. He hurt me, but he also loved me and he was my best friend before any of it. Before Alex, before his dad died, before that letter. When he left, I didn’t know if I’d ever get over it, but I did and you’re one of the reasons why.”
I felt him squeeze my hand and then he pulled me close to him.
“Forgive my jealousy,” he said softly.
“I’d be jealous too.”
“I just didn’t realize what I was up against.”
“Please don’t worry.” I took his hand to my lips and kissed the back of it, hoping it would help to alleviate any doubts he was having, but I wondered if I wasn’t doing it for myself more than him.
Evan didn’t say anything and I looked up when the glow of the lights from Jesse’s pick-up shone into the living room.
“Looks like they’re back,” he said and we both stood up, walking outside and I was grateful to be rid of that conversation. Mandy was already at the truck helping Jesse and Brandon unload the chairs.
“Were you able to get the rest or do you need to make another trip?” I asked once Evan and I made our way over.
“We’re all set,” Jesse said and as I reached for a chair in the bed, he came up beside me, taking it from my hands. “I’ve got this.” I looked up, our eyes meeting for a second, but I pulled my gaze away quickly and turned to see if Evan was watching us. If he was, he didn’t let on and I walked away without saying another word to Jesse.
I knew Mandy was avoiding me. She was practically glued to Brandon’s hip as they set up chairs around the long tables we’d put up earlier. I didn’t wait to get her alone. Instead, I marched right up to her.
“Can I have a word with you, Mandy?” I asked and Brandon looked at us curiously.
“Um…yeah…sure,” she stuttered as I pulled her arm, leading her away from the group.
“What were you thinking?” I whispered once we were out of earshot.
“I’m sorry, Riley. I didn’t mean to tell him all that, but we were alone and it was awkward and you know how I get. I just started talking and Evan seemed intrigued so I kept talking. I thought you would’ve told him this stuff. I didn’t know it was such a big secret.”
“It’s not a secret, Mandy. I just hadn’t told him about it because I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted to move on.”
“I’m sorry,” she said, her eyes staring at the ground while she traced lines in the grass with the tip of her shoe. I couldn’t stay mad at her. That’s just the way Mandy was. She’d been like that since the day I met her and I knew she hadn’t told Evan anything to be malicious.
“Please, just don’t say anything else about my life, okay?” She lowered her eyes and nodded. “Let’s just drop it and try and have a good time tomorrow, okay?” She finally looked up and nodded in agreement and we walked back over to the guys who were just finishing up.
Brandon was still eyeing us and I knew Mandy would probably fill him in later, so I just turned away from him and walked over to Evan.
“I think we’re all done here. Is there anything else you need done, Riley?” Jesse asked and I looked around. The tables and chairs were ready for the ceremony and the trellis looked elegantly simple. Once the tablecloths and centerpieces were set up in the morning, I knew it would look great.
“No, I think that’s everything for tonight. I’ll finish the rest tomorrow before the ceremony. Thank you guys for all your help,” I said, looking around to each of them, smiling in appreciation.
“We’re gonna take off then,” Brandon said, taking Mandy’s hand before walking toward her car.
“Same here,” Jesse added, heading over to his truck.
“Me too,” Evan said, turning to me. “I need to get checked in and get some rest. I’m exhausted. I’ll be back in the morning though.” He leaned down and kissed me quickly and I was almost relieved he was heading to the hotel. I was tired and I just wanted to focus on my mom’s wedding and get some sleep.
“Okay. I’ll see you in the morning,” I said and he turned and walked over to his car, but not before I noticed him eyeing Jesse, who was getting in his truck. He watched until Jesse’s truck faded in the distance and then got into his car and drove away.
I stood there alone, looking over everything, straightening a few chairs and going over the trellis again. Just as I was about to turn and head inside, I saw headlights coming towards my house. It didn’t take me long to realize it was Jesse’s truck and I wondered what he was doing back.
“I think I left my phone here,” he said when he got out, walking over and finding it resting on the edge of one of the tables. He slid it into his pocket and then looked at me. “I’ll get outta your hair now.”
“You’re not in my hair,” I laughed lightly. “And seriously, Jesse, thank you for all your help today.”
“I didn’t do much. Just set up some tables and made a few trips to get some chairs,” he said with a half-smile.
“Don’t be modest. It was a huge help. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” he said as our eyes locked. “Are you sure there isn’t anything else I can do tonight?” His voice was soft and his words came out slowly and I didn’t think his question was regarding prepar
ations for my mom’s wedding. He took a few steps towards me until he was so close I could hear him breathing, quick and hurried. It was as if I wasn’t in control of my own body as I watched my arm lift up, my palm resting on his chest. I could feel his heart beating and it was going almost as fast as mine. I knew exactly what I wanted him to do tonight and as our eyes remained locked, he leaned in slowly as my hand traced down his hard stomach until it had fallen to my side. He reached up, his hand cupping around my neck as he pulled me to him. I waited for it…wanted it, but then my heart plummeted when I felt his lips on my forehead, warm and perfect, and they lingered there as I breathed in deeply, my mouth aching to feel his lips.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Riley,” his rugged voice said in a low whisper and then he pulled away, climbing into his truck. I stood there, unable to move as he sat behind the steering wheel, staring at me through the windshield. I knew he wanted to get out of the cab as badly as I wanted him to, but then he closed his eyes for a moment. When they opened again, he turned the ignition, the headlights piercing through the night air and I couldn’t see him anymore as the truck backed up and then turned onto the road. I watched until I could no longer see him and I wiped the tears from the edges of my eyes that were threatening to fall. I’d spent the evening assuring Evan he had nothing to worry about and I hated the fact that I was a liar.
Chapter Twenty-Three
“Are you nervous?” I asked my mom as we stood at the back door waiting for the ceremony to begin.
“No. Not nervous. Excited,” she said, taking my hand.
“I’m excited for you too, Mom. Jack’s a great guy.”
“Yes, he is,” she said, smiling over to me. She looked beautiful in a simple white dress, her hair pulled up in a French twist, a few pieces lightly framing her face as she held a small bouquet of yellow roses. I leaned in, hugging her tightly, so grateful for the relationship with my mother. We hadn’t been that close before moving to Carver. We got along and I loved her, but I didn’t think of her as my friend. I was still ashamed at the way I’d treated her when we came to Kansas. I hoped one day I could finally let go of it all, but I doubted I ever would. Remembering the hateful words and actions reminded me how fortunate I was to have a mother like her. A mother who loved and supported me no matter what. I knew first hand not everyone did. Seeing the loneliness and pain Jesse had gone through with his own mom made me appreciate her in a way I never had before.
Carry Me Home (The Home Series: Book Three) Page 16