This is real.
This is my life.
This is everything I always wanted.
Chapter 27
The doors open to the chapel and I cling to Luke’s arm for dear life. I didn’t think I’d be this nervous, but I am, and even more so because it seems that the whole town has accepted Luke’s invitation to the ceremony. There are so many people standing that I can’t see Gwen or Caroline already in place, or Will. It seems he’s just out of sight.
We begin to make our slow, but not too slow, walk down the aisle. Each step calms me, and every time my foot lands in another step I realize that I’m just feet away from having everything I’ve always wanted. I acknowledge people as I walk by with a small smile. I want them to know how much joy it brings me that they would share this day with us. They all smile back…except for one.
One old woman doesn’t smile at all, and as I get closer her whole face becomes clearer and I realize that it’s Gram. She looks just as she did most days before she died, wearing a short sleeved, button-down dress, and an apron. She’s just staring at me. Then…she’s yelling.
“After what you did, you don’t deserve this! None of these people would be here if they knew what you did! Will is too good for you! He doesn’t really love you!” She yells with the disapproving tone I knew all too well.
“Yes, I do,” I call back to her. “And Will loves me! Dad, help me!” I pull on Luke’s arm but he doesn’t acknowledge me or the yelling that’s going on between Gram and me.
“Don’t call him that! Your father is dead and you killed him! You don’t deserve Luke or Claire as your parents. And you certainly don’t deserve to wear your mother’s wedding dress!” She points her accusing, boney finger at me and I cower closer to Luke.
I continue to fight back, telling her that I do deserve everything I now have. That I’ve worked hard to forget all the terrible things she made me believe. That for all the years of punishment she gave me, Will is my reward, and Luke and Claire love me like my parents did.
She just keeps yelling. She won’t stop. Luke keeps walking like he doesn’t see her. He’s almost dragging me up to the altar while I’m trying to defend myself against Gram. I keep turning back and trying to combat her, but she just won’t stop.
When we finally reach the front of the church, Luke takes my hand and puts it in Will’s. I can see Gram better now that I’m facing Will. She’s relentless in her chanting, continuing to give me the disgusted look she frequently did. I want to, but I can’t look away. I run through in my mind all the things I wish I had said to her but was always too afraid to say. Will takes my chin in his hand and turns my face so our eyes meet.
“That’s not your life anymore, Layla. She is your past. I am your future. You can let it all go, once and for all. You did it. You became everything she said you never would. You’re strong, independent, loved, accepted. You overcame everything she did to you. Every lie. Every manipulation. You threw it to the ground and set it on fire. Stop and listen.” Will is calm and soothing and I do as he says.
I close my eyes and listen. Gram is yelling cruel things that used to stab my heart. I feel Will squeeze my hands. As I stop and listen to what Gram is saying I begin to hear Will’s voice, too.
“What is the truth, Layla?” he says.
The truth…the truth…the truth is that I had nothing to do with my parents’ death. And…if that is the truth, then whatever Gram says about it is a lie. I focus on the truth. I focus on all the things Luke, Claire, and Will have told me over the last three years. The way they’ve made me feel love, accepted, wanted. Focus on the truth.
I’m not responsible for my parents’ death.
I deserve love.
I deserve Will.
I deserve Luke and Claire.
I deserve a family.
I chant these things in my head while holding on to Will’s hands for dear life. The more I chant the quieter Gram becomes, until she’s eventually mute. I turn and look at her. She’s still yelling, but there’s no volume. I can’t hear her anymore. That nagging, sometimes loud voice that has been relentlessly pounding my head with lies is finally silent.
I look at Will and beam. He looks at me and, mirroring my expression says, “Now, let’s get married.”
“Layla? Layla, honey, are you ok?” I hear Claire’s voice echoing in my head. Suddenly everything disappears and I’m brought back into reality. “Layla?”
“What…what are you doing?” I ask with a groggy voice that’s a little hoarse just from it being morning. I open my eyes and find Claire angled on the bed next to me.
“Your alarm has been going off for ten minutes. You must have been having some dream to sleep through it like that. You’ve never done that before. What time did you come to bed last night? I told Will he had to be gone before midnight. Bad luck and all,” she smiles. It is my wedding day and Claire is a sponge, soaking up all the fun, excitement, nervousness, and joy there is to be had today.
“Yeah…I was having a bad dream, but then it turned good,” I tell her. “What time is it?”
“It’s 8:30. I’m glad your dream turned good. I’d hate for you to have had a nightmare the night before your wedding. It wasn’t about the wedding was it?” Claire says getting up and gathering clothes for me to put on until it’s time to get dressed for the wedding.
“Yes, but it’s all great now,” I say. I don’t want to rehash the nastiness of Gram. Just because I had to endure it in my dream doesn’t mean Claire should have to deal with it in real life. “What’s first on the agenda? I’m the bride. Just tell me where to go and what to do. I’m putty in your hands.”
“I’m so glad to hear you say that! Gwen and Caroline should be here in about an hour. The photographer will be here shortly after that. The hair stylist and make-up artist will be here at noon. We’re having lunch brought in around one. You have to eat before the wedding. The car will be here at 3:30 to take us to the church where the florist will meet us. And then,” she sighs. “And then you’re getting married at 4:00.” Tears well up in Claire’s eyes and begin to flow before she has a chance to stop them.
“Mom…c’mon…please don’t cry. This is going to be the best day ever because of you,” I tell her as I wipe her tears with my blanket.
“I’m not sad, Layla. I’m so incredibly happy for you…for all of us. Luke and I woke up today and are going to do something we never thought we would. Not only do we have a daughter again, but by 5:00 tonight we’re going to have a son, too. Life can be hard, but sometimes we don’t give life enough credit. Sometimes…sometimes life treats you so good.” Claire squeezes my hand, letting pure joy ooze from her. “Now…let’s get going. Get in the shower. The hair stylist said not to wash your hair though. Just toss it in one of those cute, messy buns you like to do and she’ll take it from there.”
Claire stands up and begins to leave. “Mom,” I call to her and she turns around as she reaches the door. “Thank you for everything. I meant what I said. Today wouldn’t be as amazing as it’s going to be if it weren’t for you.”
Claire just smiles sweetly at me and leaves me to begin preparing for my wedding. My wedding. Oh, my gosh. I’m actually marrying Will today. I grab my phone, turn it on, and brush my teeth while I wait for it to boot up. As soon as it’s up I hear the alert tone that I set for Will. When I check it there is a message from him.
Will Meyer: Good morning, sweetheart. I have the privilege of becoming your husband today. I am the luckiest guy on the planet. See you at the altar.
My heart pounds and does flips and flutters inside my chest like I’ve never felt before. I look at the ring on my hand that used to belong to Claire’s grandmother and feel honored that she would allow it to be mine. I hold my right hand out and look at the ring that used to be Nana Grace’s…the first ring Will gave me as a promise that today would become a reality. And as I stare at these rings, I think that I’m the lucky one.
Layla Weston: Good morning! Can’t wait to say I do. See yo
u at the altar. Don’t be late!
I try not to take too long in the shower but I can’t help it. I know that as soon as I step foot downstairs the whirlwind of my wedding day is going to begin. I’m not trying to delay it. I’m just trying to enjoy these moments of blissful anticipation of all that is to come. Eventually I let go of the solitude and dress in the outfit Claire has laid out for me. She said to be sure to wear a button-down shirt or they’ll end up cutting me out of my shirt when my hair is done.
My foot touches down at the bottom of the stairs and just as I predicted, the wedding day whirlwind begins.
“Layla! Oh, my gosh! It’s today! Can you believe it?” Caroline squeals, throwing her arms around me.
“Move over, Caroline!” Gwen demands. “Just wait until you see the jewelry you’re going to wear! My mother got her guy at Tiffany’s to lend it to you…just like a movie star!” Both of their arms are around me at the same time and I couldn’t be happier.
They shuffle me to the dining room where Eliana and Nana Grace are waiting. More arms are thrown around me and more tears are shed before I’ve had a chance to say anything. When things finally calm down, and Claire has us all gathered in the dining room, I take one, very deep, cleansing breath and smile.
“Alright girls, now I want to be sure that everyone eats. I know the excitement can get to all of us, but we have to make sure no one faints up there today,” Claire says as she hands us each a plate. She has set out a beautiful spread of fruit and yogurt, and bagels and about four different kinds of cream cheese from Panera. There’s coffee and tea and orange juice, too. As usual, Claire has thought of everything.
“I have something I’d like to say,” Eliana begins as we find our seats at the dining room table. “Layla, I want you to know just how happy I am for you and William. I feared he would never find love, but yet here you are. You are a bright and beautiful young woman and I am so excited to watch you two build your life together. And, even though we’ve gotten to know each other quite a bit over these last two years, I’m looking forward to getting to know you as my daughter-in-law.”
“Thank you, Eliana,” I say, realizing I’ve got tears welling up in my eyes. “It’s hard to believe this day is finally here. Things between my mother and my grandmother were, well, let’s just say they weren’t good.” Claire raises her eyebrows in as if to say that’s the understatement of the century. She would know, too, just how difficult Gram made life for her sons’ wives. “I want you to know that I’m committed to having a wonderful relationship with you. I don’t subscribe to the belief that wives can’t get along with their mothers-in-law. It’s been a long, very rough road to this day. I truly am the luckiest girl ever. I’ve said I have four parents who love me with all their hearts, but today I can change that number to five.”
“Alright, y’all, let’s get all the crying done now because we’ve got to have time to get all the puffiness down before we have our make-up done,” Caroline says, dabbing her eyes with a napkin. “I can’t be lookin’ like a raccoon now!”
We all laugh and take that as our cue to let the joy flow, but not the tears. It’s going to be an unbelievable day and I’m now so anxious to get it all started.
“So, Mrs. Meyer,” Gwen says to me, drawing out the Mrs. part. “I hear you’re a little nervous about tonight.” The girls have both already had their hair done and now Caroline is sitting between Gwen and me as she gets her make-up done and the hairstylist works her magic on me.
“I…uh…Caroline!” I say completely flustered.
“What? We were just talking and…we’re girls, what do you want!” she says in her defense.
“C’mon, Layla. It’s just the make-up and hair girls and us. You won’t say anything, will you girls?” Gwen says in her sweetly sardonic way.
“Honey, please! You wouldn’t believe some of the things I hear. A young bride’s nervousness about her wedding night is G-rated compared to the other things I’ve got locked away up here,” Alexa, the hairstylist, says tapping on the side of her head.
“My lips are sealed. No worries, darlin’” Gina the make-up girl echoes.
“See…it’s all good,” Gwen says reaching over and patting my leg.
“You two,” I say with a heavy sigh. “Yeah, I guess I’m a bit nervous, but Will and I had a little talk and I feel better about it. He’s nervous, too, so we decided that we’d just be nervous together.”
“So…do you have something totally hot to wear tonight?” Gwen asks.
“I am not discussing the details of my wedding night with you two or anyone for that matter! Now can we please just move on to another topic?” If I we keep talking about this I’m going to have to think about it and thinking about it is what makes me really nervous.
“Leave the poor girl alone, Gwen! Yes, let’s talk about something else. What did you decide on for Will’s wedding gift?” Caroline asks saving me from the sexy Spanish Inquisition Gwen was about to unleash on me.
“Oh, it’s going to be so great! I’m having part of the pool house remodeled. Do not tell Will! You can ask Luke all about it when we’re gone because he’s going to oversee the project. All I can tell you is that Will is going to love it!” Yes, this is much better conversation to get me in a better, less frazzled state of mind before my wedding.
“Ok…you’re all done,” Alexa says. “You ready to see it?”
I take a deep breath. I have no idea what she has done, except that my hair is pulled back. Claire showed Alexa my dress and the two of them decided on a style they thought would work best. I had one trial run, but didn’t want to see it. I wanted to be surprised today. “Yes, I’m ready.”
I stand up and Alexa and Caroline turn my chair around to the three-way mirror Alexa brought with her. She and Gina have turned the living room into a full on salon. I close my eyes and Caroline helps me sit again.
“Don’t look yet,” Caroline says. “Claire! Eliana! Her hair is done! Keep your eyes closed,” she says to me. I hear Claire and Eliana come into the room and the breathless oh my goodness of both of them. “Ok…ready?”
“Ready.”
“Open your eyes, darlin’,” Alexa instructs.
My eyes are down when I open them. I lift them slowly, taking myself in from the chest up. I reach my neck and see it is bare. I’m in awe when I finally allow myself to take in the whole picture. I turn my head to see the magic that Alexa has worked. My bangs are softly swept to my right. She’s braided my hair loosely along the back of my head from my left ear to my right, and woven an intricate braided bun just behind my right ear. There’s a large braid at the center, with smaller, tiny braids winding around it, and there are sparkling silver and gemmed pieces scattered across the bun.
“She’s going to put small daisies in it, too,” Claire says. My mother wore a crown of daisies on her wedding day and Claire knows that this will make the whole thing absolutely perfect. Alexa puts the flowers in and I know I’m going to cry. “What do you think?”
“I think it’s everything I dreamed it would be.” I’m trying not to cry, but the perfection of this day is already so overwhelmingly wonderful. “Thank you.” I stand and give Alexa and hug, and then Claire and Eliana. I don’t have the words to express at this moment so I just smile and say everything I can with my eyes.
“Dry those eyes! It’s time for your make-up!” Gina says.
I do as she says and have a seat at her station. It doesn’t take her long to make me look like a fresher, brighter version of myself, and when I see my hair and make-up all done together I think I’m going to cry again. I hold it together and take several deep breaths.
The photographer has been taking pictures since she got here…pictures I’d never think of taking. But, I’m glad she’s here now because there are shots of Gwen and Caroline and me just talking and lots while we’re having our hair and make-up done. There are shots of Claire and Eliana getting dolled up, too. I love the everydayness of the pictures she’s taking and don’
t think I’ll be able to whittle down the number of prints I have made from these moments alone.
Alexa and Gina go ahead to the church while Claire and the girls manage to get me into my dress without messing up my hair or make-up. When I’m all buttoned up and my shoes have been securely fastened to my feet, I stand in front of Claire’s full-length mirror and stare.
I stare at this girl standing in front of me. She’s wearing my mother’s wedding dress and white daisies in her hair. Her hazel eyes are bright and full of hope, and her smile is bigger than any I’ve ever seen her wear. This girl, so opposite of the one I stared at the day of Gramps’ funeral, is a woman now. A woman ready to begin a new chapter in her life. A woman who knows that what lies before her is a life filled with love and peace and the knowledge that she is more than she ever thought she could be. A life with the one person who makes her feel like the world would be a sad place without her in it.
I sigh and smile and receive all the goodness that is being given to me because today is the day I put all the pain behind me. The cracks in my heart have been filled and the life waiting for me is better than anything I could have dreamed of for myself.
Claire, Eliana and the girls help me get into the limo ever so gingerly. The soft fabric of my mother’s wedding dress is delicate and anything happening to it is the only thing that could ruin this day.
When we arrive at the church everyone gets out of the car first so they can help me out just as carefully as they helped me in. We’re ushered into the vestibule of the church where only Luke is standing facing the closed doors to the chapel. As I stand there, waiting for Luke to turn around, the photographer positions herself to get shots of the first moments the father of the bride sees his little girl all dressed in white. When she cues him, he turns around and immediately becomes overwhelmed.
“Hi, Dad. How do I look?” I say to him, smiling and so full of joy.
“You look…you look just like your mother. So beautiful.” Luke takes my hands in his. “They would be so happy and proud of you today.”
Safe Harbor (The Lake Trilogy, Book 3) Page 23