Not once had he lost his patience with her, not even when she got snappy with him out of boredom, fear or just from whacked-out hormones. And he made the bedroom as much his prison as hers even when he didn’t have to, spending most of his time either beside her in bed reading or watching TV or at the desk he’d set up in the corner so he could keep her company while he worked.
And no matter how big she got, he made her feel wanted.
He was constantly touching her, never missing an opportunity to hold her or kiss her, yet he always kept a tight rein on his desire, never allowing them to get too carried away. She’d offered to please him in ways that wouldn’t hurt the baby, but he’d refused to take a chance by overstimulating her.
“No fair,” she whispered, “you already asked today.”
“That was technically yesterday. I’m just asking early today.”
“Too early. My defenses are down.”
“Good.” He settled his lips on hers, taking her mouth in a slow and tender seduction that made her sigh, made her yearn. “Say yes.”
“Oh, you do tempt me.”
“Then take a chance,” he urged and she heard the tension in his voice when he usually restrained himself from pushing.
“I can’t.” Because she loved him, and no one knew better than her how much it hurt when you loved someone more than they loved you.
Yes, Rick had surprised her by supporting her, by being physically present and an emotional rock. But it would be a huge error to mistake support for love.
“You’ve spoiled me so, it’s already going to hurt to leave.”
“So don’t leave.”
Could she stay? Could she give them a chance? Not counting the whole bed-rest thing and fearing for her baby’s health, the past two months had been nearly perfect. Although she turned him down daily, she felt as though she was part of a couple.
Yet she couldn’t forget the pain of living with a workaholic. The highs and lows, the disappointments, the loss of hope, of self, took over your life no matter how hard you tried to disassociate it from everything else. She didn’t like who she became then—impatient, moody, needy. It wasn’t a good place to be.
Not even for Rick would she go back there. Her son—their son—deserved better from his mother than watching her become a shadow to his father.
“I’ve been thinking like a dad.” He rolled to his back, propped his head on his hands and spoke to the ceiling. “Delegating more, cutting back my hours. I’ve tried to be here for you. Haven’t I proved how important you and the baby are to me?”
She longed to tell him she loved him, yet feared doing so. He had to say it first and through his own initiative. And then she wasn’t sure she’d actually believe him. Hadn’t he said he’d do anything to get her to marry him?
“I see the effort you’re making.” She plucked at the sheet between them. “But it’s only been a couple of months.”
He pinned her with a hard gaze, his eyes navy in the darkened room. “I’m not your father, Savannah. Don’t punish me for his sins.”
“I’m trying not to. But my father’s shadow isn’t the only problem. There’s your father’s ghost haunting us, as well.”
“What do you mean?” he demanded.
“I’m sure you loved your father, but you also resent him. It sounds like he valued his time with his family above everything, yet you blame him for nearly destroying Sullivans’. I don’t know if you can put family first, and I need to know you will.”
“Taking care of the business is taking care of my family,” he insisted.
“Sometimes.” She’d give him that.
“Most of the time.”
“The question is, will you know when it’s not?”
He had no answer for that, and, for the first time since she’d moved in with him, they went to sleep without touching.
“This is such a lovely party. I love the mix of casual seating along with the banquet and cocktail tables. It invites people to mix and mingle between trips to the dance floor.”
Stunning in a silver evening suit with an asymmetrical collar and long skirt, Mrs. Sullivan regally lowered herself into the opposite corner of the couch from Savannah.
“I understand you helped with a lot of the arrangements.” She patted Savannah’s hand where it rested between them on the leather cushion. “Thank you.”
“Jesse did most of the work.” Savannah gave credit where it was due. “Really, it was a blessing to have something to keep me occupied. And the idea for the couches and chairs is courtesy of Rick. He insisted I have a comfortable place to sit all night, and I didn’t want to be the only one, so I created the mix. It seems to be working out well.”
“It’s wonderful. My feet thank you. And Rick. Careful, dear.” She caught Savannah in the middle of a yawn. “I have strict instructions to notify Rick immediately if you show signs of weariness or fatigue.”
“Oh…your hair is lovely in that sleek French knot.” Savannah sought to distract Mrs. Sullivan with a compliment. She was too excited at being a part of the music and revelry of the matriarch’s grand party to leave so early.
She glanced to Rick, who stood surrounded by his brothers at the bar. With a wink at Savannah, Rett and the others had dragged Rick away. As she watched, they all laughed while Rett pretended to be stabbed in the heart. It made her happy to see Rick happy.
No, she wasn’t ready to make an exit just yet, so she continued to praise her friend. “You’re truly the queen of the ball tonight.”
Mrs. Sullivan shook a finger at Savannah. “Flattery will not save you. I value my life and that of my great-grandson too much to thwart Rick.”
“Oh, please don’t tell him, Mrs. Sullivan,” Savannah begged. “He’ll banish me upstairs, and I’m having too much fun. And it wasn’t flattery—you look so sophisticated and vibrant you glow tonight. And way too young to be celebrating your eighty-fifth birthday.”
“Bless you, child, the secret is in the dim lighting, a good girdle and a really expensive face powder. But a woman does what she must when she’s the star of the show.”
Savannah laughed and patted her prominent belly. “There’s no tucking this guy out of sight. He likes the music. He’s been dancing all night.”
Delighted, Mrs. Sullivan put out her hand. “May I?”
“Of course.” Savannah held the older woman’s hand over the baby’s movements.
“You need to call me Gram.” Tears welled in Mrs. Sullivan’s vivid blue eyes when the baby bucked against their fingers. “You are family now. Because of this little guy. But even more for the happiness I see in my grandson’s eyes. Thank you for bringing him back to us.”
Gram placed her other hand over Savannah’s and squeezed her fingers. “That’s better than any birthday present anyone could ever give me.”
“You’re welcome. But Rick hasn’t really gone anywhere.”
“Dear, he’s been distancing himself a little bit at a time for years. Making it to fewer Sunday dinners or just making an appearance at bigger events.”
“Always too busy?” Savannah bit her lower lip. This was exactly the behavior she feared from Rick. But now she was hearing about it, surprisingly, it didn’t feel right.
“That was his excuse, yes. But that changed after your trip to England. I was very excited when he had the family to his place for Sunday dinner. That was a first and it was all because of you.”
“He’s always looking for ways to keep me entertained,” Savannah confirmed.
“It’s more than that. He’s made it clear to everyone in the family that you’re his wife whether you decide to make it official or not. I’m hoping you will. I’ve been dodging Father John all night.”
“Mrs. Sullivan!” Savannah giggled.
“Gram,” the older woman insisted.
“Gram.” Savannah’s throat tightened on the word. This family’s generous welcome touched her deeply. Rick’s grandmother deserved to know the truth. “You shouldn’t get your hope
s up. Rick has been wonderful, but this child, me, we’re only a duty to him. He’d treat anyone in his care the same way.”
“You’re too smart not to see how he feels about you. You’re just afraid to believe it.”
“You think I’m smart?”
“Of course, especially at reading people. I wouldn’t have recommended you to Rick as an assistant otherwise. You’re too close to this situation if you can’t see that he loves you.”
Hope bloomed in her heart at Gram’s declaration, but she quickly squashed the feeling. Better not to delude herself.
“I think you’re mistaking concern for something more,” she said.
“And I think you’re letting fear color your judgment. He’s calmer, more contented than I’ve ever seen him. And you’ve brought laughter back into his life. I can see his effect on you, as well. You two belong together.”
Savannah blinked back tears. “I wish I could believe that. But I can’t afford to spin dreams out of hopes. I lived that way for years and all I got in return was indifference and disappointments. I can’t do that to myself again. And I won’t do it to my child.”
Avoiding Gram’s gaze, Savannah pleated folds into the skirt of her navy dress. “Rick has been married to the business too long to change now. With the baby at threat his strong sense of duty and responsibility are motivating his actions. When the baby gets here, he’ll start putting in more time at the office again. And it’s okay, because that’s what makes him happy. But I need more from the man I marry.”
“Oh, child, you’re wrong. I wonder how long he has to prove himself to you before you believe in him. A year? Five years? How fair is that? Rick deserves a chance to make his own mistakes, not his father’s or your father’s.”
Stricken by this stark truth, Savannah watched Gram stand and smooth down her skirts.
“I’m fond of you, Savannah. You survived a tough childhood. And there’s no denying you’re right—you deserve a man who loves and adores you. But I’m going to leave you with one thought. The only thing worse than the lack of trust in a relationship is the lack of faith.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
SUNDAY MORNING Rick zipped his suitcase and lifted it to the floor. His flight to London left in two hours. Rett would be here in a few minutes to drive him to the airport.
He didn’t want to go, didn’t want to leave Savannah, but the security issues with the vault needed to be addressed. With no one on-site to oversee the work, the renovations were moving too slowly. Rick planned to hire a manager while he was in the area.
Looking up, he met Savannah’s gaze from where she was propped up on the bed watching him. She wore white shorts and a pink tank top that matched the color on her toes. But her complexion was wan, the skin around her eyes drawn tight in fatigue from a restless night.
“You look pale,” he said with concern. “I let you overdo it at Gram’s party.”
“I had a ball. And I’m fine.” She smiled and held out a hand to him. “I miss you already.”
He sat and, cupping her face in his hand, swept his thumb over her cheek, tracing the shadow under her eye.
“Say the word and I’ll send Rett in my place.”
“Please, we both know you’re chomping at the bit to get there and whip everyone into shape.”
“Maybe,” he allowed, because part of him did. The total businessman he used to be would demand it. That man would have been on a plane when the company installing the new vault had first called about the problem.
But he’d changed.
“You know it’s true.” She took his hand and laced their fingers together.
“I know I’ll miss you,” he admitted.
“Then maybe you’ll hurry home—ahh.” She flinched and caught her breath.
“What is it?” he demanded. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah.” She rubbed her belly. “It’s just your son the baseball player getting in some practice.”
“That must be your son. My son plays football.”
No, he wasn’t just a businessman anymore. He was a family man, too. It amazed him how his priorities had changed. How something that affected the store had always been his first consideration when it came to making plans and decisions. Not anymore.
Savannah and the baby came first. It was clear to him now that they always would. Which was exactly what she’d asked of him—to put her first.
He loved her.
The truth of his feelings hit him in a rush. It was so simple, so clear, so deep he wanted to shout it from the mountaintops.
He opened his mouth to tell her just as a pounding sounded at the door. Damn, he’d have to wait until he got back. Better to do that anyway, as he wouldn’t be rushing off halfway across the world. He’d be able to hold her, kiss her and finally convince her to be his wife.
There was a knock on the bedroom door and then Claudia stuck her head inside. “Rett is here.”
“Thanks,” Rick said, and she retreated, giving them a chance to say goodbye.
“Kiss me before he takes you away.”
“First,” he said, reaching for the baby monitor on the night table, “don’t forget to give Claudia the monitor while she’s staying here with you. I want her to be able to hear you at all times. I’ll tell Rett, for when he takes over on Tuesday night. I’ll be back Friday.”
She completely ignored his instructions but pinned him with a suspicious gaze.
“I notice you didn’t come up with the baby monitor idea before you insisted I sleep with you.”
Caught.
He leaned over her and claimed her mouth in a lingering caress, dragging the kiss out as passion surged between them. Finally he lifted his head and met her desire-drenched eyes.
“I wanted you in my bed.”
“But we couldn’t do anything.”
“Didn’t matter.”
She swallowed hard. “Oh.”
He kissed her again, short and urgent.
“We have to talk when I get home.”
“About what?” Her hand tightened on his.
He shook his head, stepped back and grabbed his suitcase. “When I get back.” He needed to go while he still could. “Be good, and try not to have the baby while I’m gone.”
“Claudia!” Savannah yelled for her sister and then went back to her breathing exercises. She’d been having little aches and pains all morning, so, after Rick left with Rett, it didn’t take Savannah long to realize there was more to the pains than a little discomfort.
“You called?” Claudia strolled into the room.
“Can you get my overnight bag and put a few things in it for me?”
“Sure. I’ve heard they advise you to have it ready early, just in case. I can do it after we eat. I’m making chicken salad and there’s some mango, yogurt and sweet rolls. Something should spark your appetite. I thought we’d eat out on the back deck, if you think the chaise will be comfortable enough.”
Savannah blinked at her sister, realized the misunderstanding and fought the urge to snap back.
“No, no, no. No chicken salad. Not just in case.” She swung her feet over the side of the bed. “Now!”
Fear, uncertainty, anticipation and a hundred other emotions raked at her nerves, pulling her in a hundred directions. In, out, she continued her breathing; as long as she remained calm everything would be okay.
“I called Dr. Wilcox.” She gasped at a sharp pain. “He’s meeting us at the hospital.”
“What?” Claudia’s eyes popped wide. “Now? You’re having the baby now?” She dropped the dish towel she’d carried into the room and dashed to the closet. “You called Rick, right? Luckily the plane won’t have left yet. He can meet us at the hospital, too.”
“I’m not calling Rick.”
She wanted Rick, needed him by her side. Yet she couldn’t call him. The glitch with the security in the vault was a big deal; if it couldn’t be fixed soon, they wouldn’t be able to complete the remodel in time for the planned opening. A
nd Rick wouldn’t meet his goal of making Sullivans’ Jewels international during their centennial year.
She hadn’t told him because she couldn’t stand to see him choose the business over her. It would break her heart.
“His flight doesn’t leave for forty-five minutes.” Claudia stepped out of the closet carrying an overnight bag. “If you call now, you can still catch him before he gets on the plane.”
Shaking her head, Savannah said, “It’s best if he goes.”
Claudia looked confused. “You’re not going to tell Rick you’re in labor?”
“No.” Savannah swallowed back tears. “And I don’t want you calling him either.”
This was the way it had to be. She could have this baby on her own, but not if she were agonizing over Rick’s absence.
“Savannah.” Obviously sensing something was wrong Claudia spoke very gently. “He has a right to be here.”
“I’m the one having this baby, and I said no.” Savannah didn’t care that she was being unreasonable. She needed to do what was best for the baby. And right now that meant thinking of herself first.
Dr. Wilcox was waiting at the hospital. Savannah was admitted quickly and, after a brief exam, he ordered the nurse to prep her for a cesarean delivery. Then he left to get ready for the procedure.
Claudia agreed to go with Savannah into the delivery room and was led away to get suited up.
Momentarily alone, Savannah lay staring at the ceiling, thinking Rick’s plane was probably taking off over San Diego as she waited to go into surgery. At least twenty times she’d looked for him or reached out a hand, expecting his to wrap around hers in a show of support. So many times these last few months he’d been her strength, her rock, holding her steady when her nerves became shredded, keeping her company when frustration shortened her temper.
Each time she reached for him and he wasn’t there was a reminder of every time she’d reached for him over the past months and he had been. Not at the office, at a meeting or away on business. But here for her. In so many ways he’d demonstrated his commitment to her and their child, but she’d been too blind to see, too afraid to believe.
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