“Is this what you’re saying to me—that you’re not sure about me?”
That was the question he was not ready to answer, but now that question was staring him boldly in the face. Where was that special feeling he’d had with that girl from years ago? He’d fallen in to the habit of dating Mary Lou, without giving it too much thought, but now she and everyone else expected them to marry. Either he waited until he found that same feeling with someone, or he did the sensible and expected thing, and went ahead with the marriage to Mary Lou.
“I’m waiting for an answer.” Her tone was calm and quiet.
He desperately scrambled for a few more seconds of thinking time. “What is the question?”
“Are you hesitating because you’re not sure about me?”
“I’m sure that you’re a lovely person and any man would want to marry you.”
“We’re not talking about any man, we’re talking about you.”
He shook his head. “If I’m truthful, I have to say that I’m just not sure; at the same time, I don’t want to let you go.”
Her mouth fell open in shock and tears came to her eyes. “Well, it looks like I’ll have to make that decision for you.”
“What do you mean?”
“It’s obvious, isn’t it?”
She was ending things with him. “Don’t rush into anything in anger. Give it some thought.”
“That’s the whole problem. You’re giving things way too much thought. Maybe that’s it. Either way, I want a man who can’t live without me, not someone who is still deciding about me after two years, or someone who is waiting for someone better to come along.”
She was right. What she said made sense. He could see that, now that she had said it aloud. “You’re right. It’s best that we end things.”
“End our relationship?”
“Isn’t that what you were getting at?”
“You’re just impossible. Stop the buggy.”
He slowed the buggy and then stopped it on the side of the road. She jumped down.
“What are you doing?” he called out.
“I’m walking home.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t do that at this hour of night. It’s too dark.”
“I’m only half a mile from home and I’m not ridiculous. You’re the one who’s ridiculous.”
She turned and, with her hands balled into fists, she stomped ahead.
He jumped down from the buggy and ran after her. “Stop, Mary Lou!”
She spun around. “I should’ve known this a long time ago and we should’ve ended things a long time ago. Now you’ve wasted years of my life.” She turned away from him and started walking again.
He stopped in his tracks. “They weren’t wasted.”
“They were,” she shouted into the night. She spun back around and took a step toward him. “I’m so angry I could hit you.”
“Do it if it makes you feel better.”
She tipped her head up to the sky and screamed. “You’re so impossible.” She walked away.
“You can’t walk by yourself.”
She ignored him and kept walking. He hurried back to the buggy and had no choice but to follow behind her until she got to the driveway of her home.
“I’m going now since you’re home,” he called out to her.
Without speaking, she walked more quickly and then broke into a run. When he saw she was safely in the house, he turned the buggy around, feeling deeply disappointed in himself. At this rate, he was going to end up a bachelor forever. He felt bad for her, but at the same time he didn’t know what to do. She was clearly more anxious to get married than he. He didn’t want to let her go, but only because they’d been together for so long. It annoyed him that nothing felt right to him. It didn’t feel right to let her go, but neither did it feel right to commit to a marriage until he was sure. The best thing he could do for Mary Lou, if she wanted to marry soon, was to let her go and hope she’d find someone who suited her better.
The next morning at work, Isaac was surprised to see Mary Lou walk into the workshop after the words they’d had the night before. He was sitting beside Hazel’s desk making his usual morning phone calls and scheduling appointments.
Mary Lou ignored him and started talking to Hazel. When he hung up from his call, he waited for a lull in their conversation. “Hello, Mary Lou.”
“Hello, Isaac. I’m here to see Hazel.” She spoke as though nothing was wrong between them and stepped back toward Hazel. “Anyway, Hazel, I know you’re working, so I won’t hold you up. I just called in quickly to say that I’m having dinner with my friends tomorrow night at my house and I’d like you to join us. I can collect you from work and also take you back to the bishop’s haus when it’s over.”
“Denke very much. I’d like that.”
A smile spread across Mary Lou’s face. “Good, I can’t wait.”
“Me either. Can I bring something?”
“Of course not. Just bring yourself.”
Isaac could only stare at Mary Lou, wondering what she was doing. Did she think that Hazel had something to do with his indecision? Hazel had only been there a short time, so that didn’t quite make sense since he’d been with Mary Lou for two years. One thing he knew about Mary Lou was that she didn’t do anything without a good reason. Given her current state of mind, Isaac guessed she was jealous of Hazel and thought she had something to do with their troubles.
Once Mary Lou had her answer from Hazel regarding dinner, she flounced out of the office. Hazel didn’t look at Isaac who was still sitting there stunned. She just went back to tapping away at the computer keys.
Chapter 11
The next night, Hazel hurried out to Mary Lou’s waiting buggy.
“Denke for this, Mary Lou. I’ve really been looking forward to meeting people.”
“Hazel, I’m so sorry, but I’ve had to call the dinner off. I suppose I should’ve called you at work. You see, my mudder is sick.”
“Oh, nothing serious I hope?”
“Nee, just a virus, I think. Anyway, I thought you and I could have a bite to eat somewhere, just the two of us.”
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
“Gut. I’ll take you to the diner where Isaac and I go every Monday and Thursday night. It’s a way we can spend time together alone, but not really be alone if you know what I mean.”
“Jah, that sounds like a nice idea.”
When they were seated in the diner, Mary Lou passed her a menu. “Isaac likes the steak sandwich. I know all his favorite foods so I’ll be able to cook them all when we get married.”
“Jah, and that’s not far away.” She looked down the list of food.
“Did he say anything to you?”
Hazel looked up at Mary Lou. “Isaac?”
“Jah, has he said anything about me lately?”
“Nee, we only talk about work.”
“Oh. That sounds boring.”
“Did you work today?”
“Only this morning for four hours. I work afternoons on Thursday and Monday, and then at other times when they need me. My roster changes from week to week except for those two shifts. Anyway, it brings me in some money. I’ve saved a lot of money and bought things for our haus already. I want to be a fraa who contributes a lot.”
All the talk about marriage made Hazel a little envious. She imagined herself living in a house, a real home, with a special loving man. Then she wiped the scene from her mind, as it would most likely never happen.
“I would’ve thought you’d be married by your age, Hazel.”
“Jah, me too.” Hazel gave a little giggle. Her life hadn’t been a normal one. “I’m staying here for the weekend, so I’ll be able to come to the Sunday meeting.”
“Good. I’ll introduce you to my friends.”
“I’d like that.” She looked down at the menu again, trying to choose something while Mary Lou chatted about what her life would be like when she married Isaac.
The following weekend, Hazel also stayed in Lancaster County just like Aunt Bee had wanted.
As she was washing up the breakfast dishes with Ruth on Saturday morning, Ruth made a suggestion. “Why don’t you take one of the buggies and explore the area?”
“Denke, but I couldn’t. I might get lost. I don’t have a good sense of direction.”
Ruth smiled at her and then emptied the sink of water. “I’d go with you, but we’ve got a few people visiting John today for counseling. There is a road map in the buggy under the seat.”
Hazel guessed that Ruth wanted her out of the way for the day since they had people to counsel. Maybe they had people coming to the house who had marriage problems or perhaps people with monetary or farming disputes. “I could have a look around the main part of town. I know the way there.”
“Jah, why don’t you do that?”
“I will. I’m glad you suggested it. Can I bring anything back from town for you?”
“Nee. I think we’ve got everything. Whenever you’re ready to go, I’ll help you hitch the buggy.”
By midmorning, Hazel was putting her troubles behind her while her borrowed horse trotted the buggy through the streets by the open fields. Although she missed her mother, it was good to be free of the pressure of keeping her mother’s mood elevated and hoping she didn’t say anything that would make her mother burst into tears.
She didn’t feel she knew Mary Lou well enough to stop by her haus to see if she wanted to come out with her for a few hours. Besides, Mary Lou would probably be spending time with Isaac, seeing it was the weekend. Although she might’ve enjoyed Mary Lou’s company, she didn’t need to hear talk of marriage again. That was all Mary Lou had talked about the other night over their dinner.
Hazel found her way into town and parked her buggy, figuring she’d look at some small stores on foot. When she spotted a craft shop, she headed toward it. Before she got there, she noticed an Amish woman down an alleyway. Looking closer, she stopped when she realized the woman was Mary Lou. Then Hazel saw that Mary Lou was speaking with a young Englisch man. Something about the scene looked very wrong to Hazel. Then Mary Lou stepped forward and kissed the young man, and he kissed her back.
Hazel stood there staring, frozen to the spot, not believing what she saw. Seeming to sense someone staring at them, the young man looked up and saw her. Before Hazel could make her legs move, Mary Lou swung around and saw her. Mary Lou hurried toward her and Hazel’s legs suddenly started moving.
She did not want to talk to Mary Lou. There was nothing to say.
“Stop, Hazel!”
Hazel stopped in her tracks and waited for Mary Lou to catch up.
“What you saw just now—”
“Was horrible, just horrible.” It brought back memories of her father’s philandering ways. Her mother had even hidden many things he did from the bishop, knowing Doug wouldn’t have been allowed back in the community if his ways had been found out. There could be nothing worse for a person in a relationship than to be cheated on. Hazel felt dreadfully sorry for Isaac.
“Just forget what you saw and please don’t tell anyone.”
She shook her head. Secrecy never helped any situation. “I can’t do that.”
“You can and you must.”
“What you’ve done destroys people, Mary Lou.”
She frowned. “You’re being stupid. It was just a silly mistake. I won’t do it again.”
Hazel turned around to see where the young man was. “Who was he?”
“Just a boy I met a while ago.”
Mary Lou’s response seemed very casual to Hazel.
“You don’t understand,” Hazel said.
“It doesn’t matter to me what you think as long as you don’t tell anyone.”
Hazel knew that something like that had to be told. “Isaac must be told. You must confess what happened and then you should work things out with him. Things can always be worked out if they’re not covered up.”
Mary Lou stepped forward. “Please don’t tell him. I was just upset with him about something. We had a little disagreement, it was nothing really, but it made me upset. If he finds out about this he’ll be hurt and upset and he’ll call off the marriage.”
“I wouldn’t feel right about keeping that kind of a secret. If there’s a problem in your relationship, just talk about it.” She couldn’t tell Mary Lou that it was secrets like that that had ruined her life and her mother’s life. Her father had covered up what he’d done, and sometimes her mother had covered for him too, and there was nothing worse than not knowing the truth. If her father had come to her mother and told her he wanted to leave and didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore that would’ve saved her mother a lot of pain.
“I thought you were my friend, Hazel. I had planned to take you to my home and for you to meet all my friends.”
“I am your friend, but you really need to tell him. Don’t you want to be with Isaac anymore?”
“Of course I do. That kiss meant nothing and it won’t happen again. It was a moment of weakness. Anyone can have a weak moment, and Gott will forgive me when I confess what I’ve done.”
“It’s just that it’s horrible …”
“You think I’m horrible?”
“Nee, I don’t. It’s an awful situation.”
“It’s really none of your business, Hazel. I don’t know why you’re setting yourself up to be so high and mighty, like you’re Little Miss Perfect. Go on, tell him for all I care.” She turned and hurried away.
“Wait up, Mary Lou.”
Mary Lou kept walking. Hazel didn’t know what to do. In her heart, she knew the right thing to do was to tell Isaac. If someone had told her mother what Doug had been like, that would’ve saved years of pain, but everyone who knew had kept quiet about his philandering ways. She caught up to Mary Lou. “Wait!”
Mary Lou swung around. “What?”
“I’ve decided that I won’t tell Isaac, but you’ll have to tell him.”
Mary Lou frowned and shot her a scowl before she swung away from her and walked away.
“Well?”
“Okay,” she yelled over her shoulder. “I’ll tell him before the weekend’s out.”
“If you don’t, I will.”
“I said I would.” Mary Lou stomped away.
Hazel was pleased that at least she was walking in the other direction from the alleyway where she’d been with the Englischer. It was a weight off Hazel’s shoulders that she didn’t have to tell Isaac. They hadn’t gotten off to a great start and that would’ve made him feel awkward with her.
Chapter 12
It was Saturday afternoon and Isaac decided it was time to do some much overdue housework. He took hold of the broom and began to sweep the porch. Leaves and dirt were strewn across the entire length of it. As he was just about to continue his sweeping efforts inside the house, he noticed a buggy heading toward his house. Looking harder, he recognized Mary Lou’s buggy. He leaned the broom against the house and walked outside to meet her. He wondered if she was there to resurrect the relationship.
She jumped down as soon as the buggy stopped, and looked over at him.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
“Jah, I just didn’t like the way things were left the other day.”
“Neither did I. There’s no reason why we can’t be friends.”
“That’s right, and as a friend, I thought I should warn you about something, or rather someone.”
“What do you mean?”
“Hazel and I had dinner the other night. I tried to be a friend to her but it’s hard. She’s hiding something like we’ve said before. I’m not exactly sure what.”
“It can’t be anything too bad since the bishop has her staying at his house.”
“It might be wise to keep an eye on her, have you thought about that?”
He scratched his head. He hadn’t thought of that.
“Maybe she got herself into some k
ind of trouble and the bishop’s trying to keep her on the straight and narrow.”
“What has this got to do with us, though?” he asked. “She only works for me.”
“I think she’s in love with you and I just wanted to warn you to be careful. She seems a bit shifty to me, like she could be a dreadful liar.”
He raised his eyebrows. “That seems a little harsh, to say she’s a liar.”
“I think she seems like one, I didn’t say she was one. I’m just worried that you might be influenced by her pretty face.”
“Mary Lou, you and I not being together has nothing to do with anyone else.”
“I know that. That’s not what I’m saying. I just don’t trust her and I don’t think that you should. That’s all I’m saying.”
“Denke. For the warning.”
She looked over his shoulder at the house. “Are you doing some cleaning?”
“That’s mostly what I do on a Saturday afternoon when I’m not with you.”
“I miss our times together.”
He nodded.
“Do you?”
“Jah, I do. But I want to be fair to you, and that’s why things are the way they are. You can’t wait forever and I understand that.”
“You’re not mad at me?” she asked.
“Me mad at you? Nee!”
She giggled. “I thought you might have been, for the way I walked away from you the other night.”
“Never. We’ve spent a lot of time together. You’ll always hold a special place in my heart.”
“That’s good to know.”
“How about I get us a cold drink of lemonade? We can sit on the porch and drink it.”
“You made it yourself?”
“Nee, Mamm made it. Come on, it’ll get me out of doing my chores for a while.”
She giggled. “Okay, but just for a moment.”
All throughout Monday morning, Hazel was sick with nerves. She couldn’t tell from Isaac’s face if his girlfriend had told him what had happened. When lunchtime came, instead of having lunch in the office, she walked to a payphone down the road near the shops. She called Mary Lou’s number and was grateful that Mary Lou answered and not another member of her family.
The Amish Bachelor: Amish Romance (Seven Amish Bachelors Book 1) Page 7