by Jade Waltz
She was completely unaware of how her one simple touch affected me.
Were all the conversations she had with us, about courting someone through small gestures, planned outings, and simple unplanned gifts, her way of telling me she was interested?
She was typically a shy female who rarely spoke up, but I figured she was only keeping her head down as she adjusted from working in the field to routine life.
“He was halfway across the galaxy the last time I checked in,” Oeta replied, walking into the lobby. Her gaze flicked between Kaica and me as the corner of her lips curled into a small smirk. Crossing her arms, she diverted her attention to the female sending me mixed signals. Am I missing an opportunity? Demihumans were so confusing with how they express themselves. “Your sisters and Q are still far from reaching him. Whatever tech powers his craft is advanced beyond anything your siblings designed for the Aldawi, that’s for sure. He should be outside of this galaxy within a week at the rate he’s going.”
“How can someone travel across the galaxy in less than two weeks?” Suvax muttered in awe from the doorway. “We were glad to simply cross Aldawi space in that time.”
“There are many mysteries left in the universe; perhaps Kaede uncovered one of them.” Oeta shrugged, but her facial expression told me she knew more than what she was willing to tell us. “Nevertheless, we should thank the Stars that he is determined to recover Selena at all costs. If anyone can find her, it will be that male. Until she returns, the best we can do is slow down her nestmates’ decay as much as possible.”
“Our sons are in a stable enough condition to not worry about anything pressing for now,” Yuwal announced. “We need to be led to our rooms so we can unpack and rest from our long journey. Tomorrow, we will redo their stitching and try to fix any damage your poor handiwork may have caused.”
Kaica flinched and her grip on my shoulder tightened.
Our team knew she had done the best she could with the tools available to stop Xylo and Odelm’s bleeding. She had decided to prioritize stabilizing them to save their lives rather than their appearances.
She didn’t know that Circuli males, bonded or not, defined themselves by their appearances. Nestqueens didn’t want ugly or abnormal males in their clan. A freak accident that forever altered a male’s appearance often caused him to be cast to the outskirts of the clan; this unwritten rule didn’t protect even the Favored.
I frequently heard that bonded males who were sent to our infirmary left stripped of their titles.
Xylo and Odelm had not only retained scars that could forever mar their backs but had lost all of their appendages. Who knew if they could grow back after they were brutally severed?
I had prayed often to the Stars and Fates for Xylo and Odelm’s futures.
Selena wasn’t like Circuli females. Hopefully, she could look past their scars and see that the most important thing was for her clan to survive.
“I can show you to your rooms,” Oeta offered. “And summon the villa staff to aid with unpacking your ship.”
“That sounds excellent. Thank you.”
Five
KAICA
Of course, that old Wudox had to ishing bring up my handiwork.
Who cared if my handiwork had ishing saved their sons’ lives or that I had worked nonstop since to make sure that they survived?
They hadn’t thanked me once, and even if they did tomorrow, it would probably be some backhanded comment.
How did Xylo turn out the way he did while raised by them?
I understand that workers in revered professions had to be held to high standards but to criticize what I—we—had done to save their sons was another thing.
And here I had thought Chyox was the stuffy one. Little had I known that his mentors had taught by example.
Why was Chyox jealous of Xylo if his fathers treated others so poorly?
Clumsy footsteps on the marble floor trailed me as my AI, IZO, sent an alarm flashing yellow around the edges of my vision for neutral danger.
Amid my inner rant, I hadn’t paid attention to my surroundings. Why would I? These halls had to be among the safest in the galaxy. Nevertheless, new guests provided new opportunities for danger, even though they had been vetted. What had happened between Z and his late father was proof that even family could be willing to betray their flesh and blood to reign supreme.
No one should be on the second floor other than me. Z’s office overlooked the warehouse, and my siblings were the only ones who used this floor’s spare rooms from time to time. Other than us, there shouldn’t be a soul up here.
Rounding the corner, I pressed my back against the wall. My hand hovered over my hidden vibroknife’s hilt, ready to strike.
Steps neared as a familiar gray-striped green Ulax emerged around the corner, his body highlighted a neutral yellow and lips pursed in determination.
Hissing, I drew my blade and leaped in front of him.
“What are you doing up here?”
Instantly, his tentacles came alive, uncurling from his torso to spread in a defensive position around him. Fear flooded his face as he raised his hands in surrender.
“I followed you to apologize for my behavior earlier,” Chyox sputtered, eyeing the aqua-blue vibroknife in my hand. “I didn’t think you would attack me for wanting to talk to you.”
“There is a difference between trying to speak with me and stalking me through the hallways without making yourself known,” I growled, sheathing my blade. “I understand you may not be comfortable speaking to females, but don’t test my patience. After the most recent events, I never know who will try to betray me.”
“I would never,” he swore, lowering his tentacles. “I may be stuck in my old ways, but I have always respected you and your work.” His tentacles returned to their default positions as he dropped his arms. “Plus, I know Selena can be wild without any weapons, and I fear you would hurt me worse than…”
He snapped his mouth closed but I already knew what he was going to say.
Than our two patients.
“I’ve had enough of this conversation,” I said, turning back in my initial direction. “If you have anything more to say, then follow me to my temporary quarters. If not, I will see you between shift changes tomorrow.”
Chyox didn’t reply but heavy shuffling behind me told me he wasn’t finished. Hopefully, he would be quick. My shift started in a few hours and I had been up all night dealing with the fathers’ arrival.
My door automatically opened as soon as I approached thanks to my implant and the system we had installed in this villa. My family was capable of entering any room with a simple thought.
Unbuckling my lab jacket, I threw it into the cleaning bin so I could run my lavage machine with today’s outfit. Then I headed for the drink dispenser.
“Do you want anything?” I glanced over my shoulder toward the unsure male studying my room. He stilled as soon as our gazes met as if he was afraid I might take offense at something. “I promise you, I am not unstable. I know you think my kind are savages; your notes about Selena and your flinching whenever one of us addresses you made that clear. You have nothing to fear from me unless you betray or hurt those I care for. I don’t understand why you are always on edge. I only asked if you wanted a drink.”
“Sure, I guess, I will have whatever you are having,” he whispered, his voice reflecting the uncertainty he still harbored. “You seem intense still from our moment in the hallway and I don’t know what I need to do to prove I have no nefarious intentions.”
“Can do.” Nodding, I sent him a gentle smile. “I am sorry for how I reacted in the hall, but you know how things have been lately,” I sighed, internally cursing ay myself for my sudden twitchy behavior. “Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll come right over with the drinks?”
Chyox glanced back and forth between the drink dispenser and the sitting area, as if trying to determine if this was a trap. Seeing him so out of his element was sort of
cute, if it wasn’t the result of my abnormal behavior.
By the time he sat down, two mugs of spiked osso tea were ready. Placing the tray on the center table, I carefully passed the hot beverage to Chyox before taking a seat across from him.
“So, tell me, why are you here?” I asked, feeling the warmth radiate from the mug in both my hands as steam rolled across my face. “It is safe to assume you don’t often follow females home just to talk to them—or at all.”
“You’re correct,” Chyox sighed. “It’s against our nature to visit a female unless invited by a nestqueen or asking to join her clan.”
“Is that what this is?”
I could feel my heart rate pick up at the thought of him being attracted to me. I’ve always thought he was a kind-hearted male with good intentions, but his lack of exposure to species outside of the Circuli often frustrated him. He would make make simple mistakes like saying something wrong and then be angry at himself for the rest of the day because of it.
Before the horrible day that had changed everything, I had attempted to teach my Circuli coworkers about how to address others outside of their species and help them get ideas on how they can show a female they were interested in them. Attempting to ask a female to be their nestqueen was a concept that was foreign to the Circuli males, because it was always the females in their species that establish any interest and establishing the courting bond between them.
Was he planning to confess his intentions to me? Is that why he came here after work hours?
Had I ruined it all by my irrational behavior?
Was I foolish? Why would he want to be with me?
Instantly, I chastised myself for the mere straying thought of him being interested and finally presenting himself to me. He was here for strictly business and not offering himself to join my clan.
He stared down at his cup as his coloring tinted a worried yellow.
“You invited me over, didn’t you?” He took a sip, followed quickly by another. “I didn’t know how else to speak with you privately, especially since you don’t mind speak.”
Mind speak.
An ability most species in the galaxy shared, which allowed for intimate conversations without worrying about who could hear. From what I had gathered, only a select few beings could overhear a mind spoken conversation, and two of the most powerful were on our side.
“Because demihumans are shielders,” I muttered, swirling the hot beverage in its mug until it curled like a pale-green galaxy. “It took Selena a lot of concentration to speak with Mwe since he wasn’t a part of her clan or connected to her princes, like you.”
Chyox nodded. “I was shocked she reached out to me, even more so when I heard what she had to say to me.”
“I don’t know if it’s a blessing or a curse to be a shielder. Sometimes, I am jealous of Selena’s network, but then I realize others would love to be born a shielder and never worry about a mental attack.”
“That is a fear of mine.” He shivered as his tentacles tightened around him. “But thankfully, we don’t have to worry about an outside attack. Our princes’ powers are respectable and Oeta hasn’t overstepped her boundaries. We’ve grown used to stronger telepaths picking up loud thoughts, or in my species’ case, emotions.”
“Tell me about it.” I grabbed some of my hair and noticed that for once, it was in its default translucent state. “It’s annoying to have my strong emotions displayed for everyone to see.”
His violet gaze traced my hair to my eyes. “It’s beautiful.”
“It is.” I rubbed the hair between my fingers before flinging it over my shoulder. “But still a pain.”
“Ulax are the same way, though we can’t shed our scales.”
“But at least you can see others’ auras, whereas I cannot.” I waved him off. “That’s beside the point—it’s getting late. What did you want to speak to me about?”
Chyox placed the half-emptied drink on the table and breathed deeply, giving me his full attention.
“I wanted to apologize for how I behaved earlier today. Being raised on my secluded home planet, I’ve never realized others were worse off than me. In my mind, I just assumed everyone I spoke with grew up with parents or some form of support system. It never occurred to me that your kind didn’t, even though I knew about your past. I hope you will forgive me for my actions and we can continue to work together as teammates without any lingering tension.”
“You are forgiven.”
“That’s it?”
“Tensions are high at the moment. It has affected me along with everyone else around us.” I shrugged, sipping my tea. “Why would I continue to punish you for a slip-up? I have greater worries than holding grudges for something misspoken. You sought me out after realizing your mistake, apologized, and asked for forgiveness, so I gave it to you. We can both be mature about what happened. If you want to prove yourself to me, learn from your mistake and move on.”
“I’m sorry.” He shook his head. “I can’t believe you. This has to be some sort of test. How can you just say everything is fine?”
“What do you want me to do, Chyox?” I muttered, placing my drink on the table. “Scream at you and call you names? Demand retribution? Life's too short to dwell on trivial mistakes. I am sorry I’m not like most females you know, but you need to stop judging other species by the standards you grew up around. We are not like you.”
“I am just… lost.”
“Find yourself, Chyox. You are no longer on your home planet or ship, surrounded by only Circuli around you. This is Destima, where there is not only a blend of different demihumans on the moon, but other species as well.”
“I am trying, Kaica. Really, I am.” He chuckled and glanced at his hands. “Selena was a rude awakening that shattered everything I knew about this universe. Now, working beside you and Oeta, I’ve learned much more.”
“Am I that bad?” I tilted my head, studying him. “I thought I was succeeding at doing my job and staying out of the way.”
“You’ve been perfect,” he sputtered, his gaze flicking to mine. “Sometimes I forget you are even there.”
Somehow that didn’t sit right with me.
“I am used to working alone in my lab,” I sighed. “I’m sorry I am not as talkative as the others. I can work on it.”
“You don’t need to change. However, there is something else I want to address with you.”
“What is that?”
Was he going to ask me to be his nestqueen after all?
“Have you ever dealt with personally compromising medical cases? Have you ever cared for a sibling, not knowing if they would survive?”
Sighing, I slumped back on my couch, unsure what to think. I had gotten my hopes up expecting him to confess but instead, he wanted to know about one of my greatest fears.
“Short answer? No.” Rolling my fingers around the mug’s handle, I considered my words carefully. The last thing I wanted to do was to convince him I needed to be removed from the team and stationed in Destima’s hospital. Or worse, kept away from patients entirely and left to work on my fertility research.
“What’s your long answer?”
“Long answer?” I licked my lips and prayed to the Stars he wouldn’t think less of me after this. “Thankfully, I have only feared for my siblings’ lives a few times; Kaede’s, mainly. It seems he is always looking for a way to push his limits harder and further, and to become better than ever before. Without our cryopods and his quick self-healing ability, I don’t know if he would be alive today. Of course, I hate having to deal with life-or-death situations—I would rather do research—but out of my siblings, I was the only one with real talent and drive to study medicine, so I became the Fab Five’s healer.” I paused to gauge his reaction. “Right now, my focus is on saving the lives of Selena’s nestmates, so experiments will have to wait. I could never turn my back on those in need… but that isn’t what drives me.”
“Then what is?”
“Have you stopped to think about what will happen if they die?” I gestured in the infirmary’s direction. “If Selena doesn’t return in time, they will die. The princes will die, and who knows what will happen to the Circuli population.”
“She is our Queen,” he breathed. “If she dies, if the princes die, we will all perish with them unless someone takes over the mental web.”
Ice filled my veins.
That wasn’t what I wanted to hear—not now, not with all the problems we already faced. It only added more pressure to my chest.
“Why was this knowledge withheld from me? Does the Sovereign know?”
“He knows, but he has his own worries.”
“How long have you known?”
“It was a gradual realization that clicked when she claimed her Primaries.” He wiggled in his seat as if he was uncomfortable about what he had to say. “We all felt the change. I just assumed you had been told.”
Why hadn’t I been told?
We had always shared everything over our family network. It was rare for Z to keep important information from us but since Kaede had hidden a custom spacecraft and disconnected from the network, I wondered what else had been kept from me.
“I didn’t mean to instill doubt in you.” His eyes shot to my hair and I realized it must be displaying the mixed emotions I didn’t want him to know. “That wasn’t my intent, nor do I mean to question the extent of your education. But I am wondering if you have ever studied how to disconnect from your work. Have you been trained to shed the stress and pressure of personally knowing your patient to focus on what needs to be done?”
“Truthfully? No.” I shook my head. “I spent all my time researching other species’ medical programs. I was interested in how they approached treatment in case I had to use more basic and perhaps barbaric methods to help a patient.”
“If I may, I would love to provide you with some of my materials on the subject.” Chyox reached forward and paused, frowning before dropping his hand. “Perhaps even help you work through it.”