I Walked With Her

by Lisa Barrington

  “No not yet now. I want you truly hungry not simply thirsty.” Ben swirls his fingers more. He focuses solely on my clitoris. Leaving my opening throbbing for more. He circles and rubs. I close my eyes to deny him the satisfaction he wants me to see, cross his face as I move down on his fingers. My hips move with him even with his hold on my wrists so tight. “Still thinking about work?”

  “What work?”

  “What are you thinking about? Tell me what you want right now?”

  I do love how he has learned to turn the table on me. I did this to many lovers. I made them tell me. Then I chose what would come next. Ben I have learned, desires my words as much as my body. Same as he always asked me if I wanted him to finish. Now he likes to hear more.

  “How badly I need you. I want to be on top of you. I want it hard and fast.”

  “What if I want to go slow?”

  “I’ll do whatever you ask! Stop teasing. I can’t do teasing. Please!”

  Ben lets go of my hands. I grab him and pull his shirt over his head. I kick off my sneakers. He pushes down my yoga pants. I grab at his shorts. I push them off so quickly. I need him. We are both breathless. Get ready Ben; I have done this longer than you have. It was my way long before you. As much as I want to fuck you so badly, I am going to show you, Daniel still lingers within. “Commando? Really?”

  “Showered after my hard work. Then home relaxing and reading, is there really a need?”

  “No argument here.” I push Ben back so I can pull off my sports bra. “No way are you getting this off me and no way is it staying on!”

  He smiles at me as I grab him again flipping him on his back. I have not lost all of my skills. I kiss his neck, his chest ferociously. Ben’s hands are all over me. Pulling at my ass, he flips me on my back. Our battle of wills and pure lust right now is exceptionally sexy. He will not allow me to have all the control. His desire for me drives me insane. No one has ever wanted me like this.

  “I wanted to go slow.”

  I stop and squint. I am puzzled. “Shit. You were serious?”

  “Very.”

  I roll my eyes. I think of the time. I think of my own plan. Oh God, he wants to make love again.

  “Really? Seriously, you roll your eyes! Fine. I'll go eat my Thai.” Ben lets me go as he gets up.

  Oh, fuck no! Damn it was that noticeable? I can't concentrate in this state. Especially not when I am on a mission! “Wait! No!” I'm quick on my knees on the bed.

  Ben turns around. “You roll your eyes at idea of making love with me?”

  “No never! That damn hot yoga, my brain is still all cloudy. It is like a hundred degrees in there. I am oxygen deprived. Come here. I bet I know where your spot is. I promise to go slow, if you let me. I am sorry. Please?”

  Ben moves back towards me. I wrap arms around him. Kiss him deeper, more passionately. I place small kisses on his lips and run my tongue along the outside of his lips. I part Ben’s lips, explore slowly, bringing him completely back to me. Mind and body. He wraps himself around me. Both hands wrapped behind, beneath me. Parting me. I need him more than before. A little taste for myself. I am still a bit selfish.

  “Oh Max?”

  “Oh God, what? I need you Ben.”

  “Who just played who? I do not want "slow". I am going to make you beg!” Ben throws me hard back on the bed.

  “Touché. Now fuck me already.” I run my hand through Ben’s hair, caressing the back of his neck. I whisper. “I want you deep in me. I want to do all the work grinding on top of you as you watch my body move. I want you to see me touch myself. Dig your fingers in my hips until you cannot take another second and release every ounce of yourself inside me.”

  “I love it when you talk like that.” Ben’s hands move back between my legs. Touching all of me. He is in me, on me. Fingers moving with intent.

  “Aaahh. Oh God you are the Captain.” I can barely catch my breath. He wants to play. I will show him how the pirate takes control of the ship. He may not have won the Oscar but a performance Ben is about to see. One I am most certain I will not be acting. It is real, it will undoubtedly be Oscar worthy!

  I kiss his lips as sweetly as I can. Then I turn around and straddle him. He does not see it coming. I take his girth in my hands. I turn my head back. “Did you say something regarding going slow? Because wow, I'm so very hungry now. You worked hard today. Hard is what I want. I am sorry who is about to play who? Bases seem loaded Captain.”

  I don’t wait for Ben to speak. His expression is enough. I turn back taking him slowly, very slowly completely in my mouth. I begin caressing his thighs with one hand as I steady him in my hand. I place my mouth around him. Move him ever so slowly in and out. Licking his tip, I hear him moan. I suck a little harder, moving him deeper. I am throbbing myself. The notion of leaning back on his face is deliciously tempting. I do not. I will not. Ben must be reading my thoughts because that moment he touches me. I gasp but I must stop him. I withdraw him from between my lips.

  “Head down. You touch me and I will stop. You and I both know you do not want me to stop. I want to hear every moan, every sound you make. I promise you will still hear me. Pleasuring you brings me to new heights. I am going to drown you in me. Head down Captain! This is only you.”

  Ben drops his back and puts his hands on his head. Palms pressing into each temple. My turn. I place him back between my soaking wet tongue and lips. My mouth salivating for every inch of him. I lick him as if he is the last bit of water in the Sahara Desert. I moan on him. Ben is delicious in every way. This act before Ben was never pleasurable for me. It was solely controlling another human being. With Ben, I actually enjoy it. Not the "act" in itself, more the pleasure it brings him. I am giving this to him. I am asserting some control. I am pleasuring him and it is a high. Life has changed.

  Feeling his hips rise and fall with me pulls the madness within me. He is giving me pleasure in displaying his own. I need to catch my breath before I bring him deeper in my throat. Stop. Tease him. I need to hear him scream in anxious frustration for more. I have no idea any longer what shall come later. I need him as mine now. His body is mine. I am thirsty. I am hungry. I release him from my mouth. I run my breasts over his erection.

  “Fuck Max! Don’t. God!”

  “I am sorry; did you say something?”

  “Don’t tease, Mackenzie.”

  “Who is the Captain now Benjamin?”

  “You are a wicked woman. You are! You do understand you will pay. Christ Max!” Ben drops his head back on the pillow.

  I smile. The idea of even paying for this, I feel wetter. I am more aroused. I take Ben with claim he is mine. In and out of my mouth and between my lips back and forth. I cradle Ben and massage him in my hand. I want to swallow him whole. His shallow breaths, his moans. I want him to come so hard. For me. Only me.

  His legs restless now, I pull him back out of my mouth. Rolling my tongue around the tip. I tease him still, as I lick up and down. I lift my head up blowing softly on the tip for a second. I then move over him, take him completely deep in against my throat and back out. A control I mastered over many years.

  “God Max!”

  It is so true how we all suddenly find our faith when treading water in the depths of lust. I have always found this most amusing. Twisted and true.

  Ben’s hands are hard on my hips now. His fingers pressed hard into my flesh. His breathing is fast. Every vein is lifted like pathways for my tongue. I follow each one. Holding all of him. He is so hot, so close. I take him all the way out for a second. His moans echo through the room we abandoned.

  Moaning, I take one last deep breath. Return to a rhythm as fast as my body will allow. I begin to hear the ultimate cry of pleasure. Fingers so hard in my hips I am certain he is leaving a bruise. I move up a little. I know it's going to hit hard. Ben releases with intensity I've never felt. I swallow as swiftly and as many times, as I can without letting my lips let go of him. I feel myself loosen, the throbbing
and tightness within me as well. Breathless myself, I release him. I move my hand away, placing both on his hips. I let my head drop for a moment. Ben is a man who takes skill and time. He is more of a workout than hot yoga. I search for air. I go to climb off him.

  “Where are you going?” Ben looks utterly confused.

  “Coffee. I still need coffee. And food I would enjoy some food now.”

  I climb off the bed. I turn to Ben. I place his face in my hands. “Olive juice. I do enjoy and appreciate your attempts at trying to play me. Do you not know by now it only makes it more enticing for me? I will outplay you. I will always outplay you. Always fear still when I call you Captain. I am so grateful you desire all sides of me. My many personalities. Now, take tonight as a lesson yourself. Step up your game, if you want to play in the majors. I love you.” I turn to walk away.

  “Hey Captain Manale. I want every side of you. My own personal Sybil. This is only beginning. Perhaps my play is still making you feel you are running things. I will have you in ways I desire. You will one day be completely submissive with me. You will not object nor feel you need to win. No matter how capable you may always be able too. One day you will ask first for it. You doubt me still. You are incredible, fucking hot and demanding in your ways. I will show you your reflection in not simply my eyes, but my actions.”

  I gently kiss his lips. His words I believe. I have no fear of them. I have a yearning and desire to know more. I look forward to all he speaks. Yes, there are wicked parts of me still, more I wish for him to see tonight, but I am changed also. It is true; I will do anything for this man. If submission is, what he wants. Submission one day he shall have. Time though, time it shall take. Right now, I need to leave.

  Ben grabs my hand. “What about you?”

  “What about me? Haven’t you realized what you have already taught me? That was as much for me as that was for you. Making love comes in many forms as fucking does. Today being more selfless is all the pleasure I need.”

  “My, who are you?”

  “I am yours. That’s who.”

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  “Now I want you to sit up. You need to eat. The night’s not over.”

  “Really? Hun after that, the night may be pretty over.”

  “Did I say sex? I said the night is not over. I planned another experience you once mentioned you wondered would be like. Desired. I can make certain things happen. Not all of my past should be forgotten. There are ones I fantasized I was with you instead of the reality I created. Nights I chased my darkness. You will experience a different seduction. One you can decide as it happens if you choose to feed it further.”

  “What? Max.”

  I leave. I leave Ben to wonder. Looking at the time. It's 7:38. We have plenty of time. I return with a plate of food and two forks. A water bottle for Ben and coffee for me. I hand him the food. Place the drinks down.

  “Max. What are you up to?”

  “I have paid careful attention to every fantasy you ever expressed over these past nine years. There are things, places I have been to and seen that I can make some of those fantasies reality. Trust me.”

  “Max.”

  “Please eat. I need to get some things out.” I go into one bag. Pull out a box and open. There are the men's deep charcoal flat front dress pants. Perfect, no wrinkles. Oh how I love Hugo Boss. I lay them on the end of the bed. I can't see Ben’s face, but I can feel his eyes watch me. I pull out the black dress shirt from the same box. Impeccable. The black, offsets the color of the pants. I move for another bag. I place a small box on his dresser silver cufflinks. Then my last bag for him. New shoes, they are Italian and very handsome. I place them on the floor by the bed, where I've laid the pants.

  I turn around. I take my coffee. Ben stares at me. I take a fork and scoop up a mouthful. I am now standing beside him. “Oh my! Ugh! That does not go well with coffee. You finish it. I’m going to go make an apple with peanut butter.”

  I put my coffee down and grab Ben’s T-shirt he was wearing earlier and slip over my head. I take my coffee again along with the remaining bags and my purse.

  “Wait a second. Where are going? Back the hell up. What is all this? And do I dare ask what you spent?”

  “This? This is all for you. As for cost, don’t be concerned. I am allowed to buy you gifts if I choose. I do fine financially, thank you.”

  “Why is all this here?”

  “Excellent question. Eat up. Hydrate please. I don't really have freelance work due. I lied. You will need to wear this later. You have someplace to be.”

  “I have someplace to be? Maaaaxxx?”

  “Yes. Someplace enticing and erotic.” Again, I attempt to leave. Lord does he understand I am hungry. Frankly, a bit more tired. I put a lot, a lot into our little sex escapade. Quite rewarding, but not without a slight bit of exhaustion.

  “You changed masks from Captain, now you are the Riddler! We are not done here! Start talking and let's use complete sentences this time.”

  “Fine. One second.” I walk out to place my things away before Ben may jump out of bed to see what else I have. I return with a piece of paper. “Be at this address at 12:45; use my first name only when at the door. Won't take more than twenty minutes to get there. I ask one thing, stay in your room from 11:30 to 12.”

  “Why?”

  “So I can leave. You need to find me at this address. You won't be let in, if you're not dressed this way. Very exclusive.”

  “Since when do you care how I dress?”

  “Me? I love every way you dress, undress. You name it. Dress code isn't my call. It's the establishments. Please don't be late. I need to go in first. Trust me tonight. This won’t let you down.”

  “Max. We don’t need things like this.”

  “You are right. We only need each other, but that doesn’t mean I am not going to try to fulfill all of your fantasies. Now, I need to eat something and try to close my eyes for an hour.” I am swift out the door.

  Ben quickly puts the food down. He gets up following me. “Max. Wait.”

  I turn around as he scoops me in his arms. He places a seductive kiss on my lips. I put my hand on his cheek. “I love you Benjamin.”

  He smiles at me. “You’re finally coming around?”

  “I have been here all my life. I simply never told you.”

  “Do I get to know what you're wearing?” Ben puts me back down on the floor.

  I turn to leave. “I can tell you what I am not going to be wearing.”

  Ben leans his elbow on the hallway wall, crossing his legs. “I will bite. What are you not going to be wearing?”

  “Panties. Now leave me alone.”

  We both stand outside our doorways. I push aside trying to be funny for a moment. “Find me. Stay with me but understand I am prepared for the rest. It's alright not to only think of me tonight. Enjoy the thrill, the provocative darkness. It will be alluring and unlike anything else. 12:45. don’t stop until you find me. I do need you beside me. It is all I ask tonight.”

  “I will always find you Max.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  I close my door. I deserted the idea of eating. It will take time, and exhaustion quickly has a stronger pull. I need sleep more than food. Between Ben, therapy with its emotional drain and getting back into physical demands of yoga, I am beat. I lay my outfit out on my reading chair first.

  I black leather skirt. It is short, not a pencil skirt. I have never liked that look. I was once a whore but never a tramp. This skirt pleats all around the waist and hips and then slightly puffs out. Then there is the crisp white top. It has a collar like a men’s button down. Except the back is cut straight across and lays open like a halter. Sleeveless of course. The sexiest part, done with class, it only buttons to about an inch and half above the naval. I also purchased the most extraordinary three-inch heels. Yes, fuck my back tonight. The heel itself is silver; the shoe black satin, with matching stunning ribbons that lace around my ankles. H
ugo Boss also knows very well how to dress a woman. This outfit in itself is pure sex. I will enjoy it. I want to take Ben’s breath away. Even with the mask that will surround my eyes.

  I grab my phone. Set an alarm and climb in bed. A catnap, I tell myself is all I need. Until later, I look at my clothes one last time. I will travel back to the rush and defiance I once sought solely during mania. Anything for Ben. I am capable of anything for Ben. As I reach to shut my light off, I hear a knock at my door.

  I answer puzzled. “Since when do you knock?”

  “Can I come in?”

  “Of course you can. You never need to ask.”

  Ben walks in still naked. I sit up. He climbs in my bed beside me. He sees my clothes laid out and stops for a moment.

  I need to know what is wrong. “What is it? What is the matter?”

  “I obviously figured out your plan. I am not even going to ask how you get invitations to such places you. Much less the obvious now, you have been before. The knowledge, you expressed that it was fantasized and wished I were with, makes this harder.” Ben stops. He catches a quick look at my goodies gracing my chair.

  He runs his hand through his hair. “Jesus is that your outfit? Fuck! God Max, do not get me wrong, the idea yes, is seducing. Only to a degree. Please do not mistake how I love you even more for wanting to fulfill desires I once expressed. Max, you do not understand, they were all before you. Before this. We aren’t those people anymore. You do not need to be that particular person any more. That was darkness, manic behavior. That is not a place I want you to sacrifice going back to as long as I am beside you.”

  Ben lies back on my bed. He raises his knees. His hands are on his head again. “You do not make these things easy for me. You have my trust Max. You are all the fantasy I need. I will get as kinky and crazy as you want or need within the walls of our home. Watching strangers, being in the midst of beautiful people fuck, fucking beside them? No. Experiencing a private sex club is no longer a fantasy for me. Max, if you’re manic and you need a rush, tell me. We will find a way to calm that storm in you another way. We will fill it in whatever way sexually we can do alone. Perhaps in a semipublic place, but only us. God Max I simply want to be near you. I would rather finish that Thai together. Ice cold, I don’t care. Rent “Ted” on demand and call it a night. Somehow, you are still missing this and I do not understand how. You are enough. No, you are more than enough. You are everything.”