by Daisy May
Good. I’d been certain I’d lose control that time. If he could handle it, so much the better for him. With a weak grip, I stroked myself again. Charlie’s rising groans made it impossible for me to look away, so reluctantly I allowed myself to watch.
“Ah—ah—ah!” Charlie gasped out.
He was there again, right there at the edge, at the point where Reuben would normally have come back to me. This time was different, though. This time Charlie grabbed his head and held him there, rising half-off the bed as he pumped deeply into his mouth.
He was going for broke now, and even though Reuben’s eyes went wide, Charlie wouldn’t let him go. “Think I’m going to let you tease me all day… think I’m not going to fuck your throat if I want to…” Charlie collapsed back to the bed, still thrusting lightly.
Reuben’s Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed spurt after spurt, and his eyes closed in bliss. He wanted to bring us to the point of forcing him to let us finish. Wanted to make us lose control.
I twitched with anticipation. As soon as Charlie finished with him, I was going to do exactly the same thing. My hand moved faster now, gripped harder, so that again I was afraid I’d make myself come before Reuben could come back to me.
But at last Reuben’s hot, slick mouth enveloped me again, and I found the release I’d been waiting so long for.
“Oh-h-h-h…”
I fell back to the mattress, snuggling into Charlie’s strong arms as Reuben sucked me dry. Reuben kept going for so long it was almost painful, but he stayed down there, slowing down but not stopping as if it was of the utmost importance that he get every last drop out of me. At last he took his mouth off and settled for caressing me with long, loving licks that made my body jerk and spasm.
Some sixth sense must have told him when I couldn’t take anymore, because he climbed onto the bed with us. A flash of guilt came over me as he snuggled up to my side.
“What about you?” I asked. “You still haven’t come.”
I was so exhausted, too exhausted to get him off—but I had to, it wasn’t fair. A spark of desire appeared within me at the thought of going down on him again. Maybe I did have the energy for it after all.
Except he shook his head, his hair moving against my jaw. “I did come,” he said. “About a minute into going down on you two.” He threw himself over both of our chests now, snuggling harder. “That was so freaking hot.”
“You’re the devil,” Charlie murmured affectionately.
“You loved it.”
“I did.” Charlie ruffled his hair. “I love you.”
“And I love you.”
“And I love both of you,” I said.
“And we love you.”
Reuben
Life was great. I had one amazing job, two amazing boyfriends, and five amazing puppies.
The pups took a ton of work, it was true. Feeding and entertaining them was bad enough, and now they were starting to go on walks as well. Five little leashes were a lot to handle when twenty little feet tried to skitter in all different directions.
Now that Jasper and Charlie knew about the puppies, Jasper helped out more than I could’ve ever asked. I knew he hadn’t planned for five pets, and he never would’ve chosen this lifestyle on his own. But he was falling in love with them, too.
And Charlie? He still claimed to hate dogs, and he cringed away from them whenever other people were around.
I felt bad about forcing them on him. Not everyone was a dog person, and I was beginning to think I should find some way to get them out of the house. I wasn’t sure how that could happen, though. I was barely at my apartment anymore, and now that I was spending almost every night over here, I knew none of us wanted to go back to sleeping apart.
My first sign that this could work came one night when I got home from work. I almost walked in on him sitting on the couch with all five of them beside him. They were napping in a pile together, and he was stroking them and cooing.
He hadn’t seen me peek in, so I paused outside the door to listen. “Who’re the cutest little puppies in the world?” he crooned. “Which puppies have the softest fur and the smallest paws?”
So there was hope after all! I strolled in a minute after he stopped talking, pretending that I hadn’t heard anything. Five sets of doggy eyes opened and blinked at me.
“Getting friendly with the puppies?” I asked casually.
“No,” Charlie grunted. “They jumped up here with me. Wish they’d go away.”
I stifled a laugh and nodded.
Time went by, and life fell into an easy routine that made it feel like things had always been this way. The puppies ate more and grew bigger. They learned to sit and stay, and their individual personalities developed. As the months slowly passed, I had to stop protesting when people referred to them as dogs—although they’d always be puppies in my heart.
My job got easier as I got used to it, even as I took on more responsibilities. And my relationship with Jasper and Charlie deepened and blossomed.
We understood each other better than we had before. We did little things for each other that made it clear how much we cared for each other. All of this happened partly as a result of the increased time we spent together. When we weren’t at work, we hardly spent a minute apart.
Sundays were still our “me time,” but even then we tended to stay in the same room just to be in each other’s presence. I had come to enjoy having their admiring eyes on me as I went through my home yoga practice. Now that the puppies had moved here, there was hardly any reason for me to go home, except for picking up changes of clothes. And even there, I was taking up more and more space in my boyfriends’ closet.
In a regular relationship, I would’ve expected to have the move-in talk soon. We’d been dating less than a year, but things had settled so nicely that moving in just felt like the next logical step. And I would’ve been ready for that talk. I would’ve been happy to have it. But this wasn’t a regular relationship, and I didn’t think that talk was coming.
Jasper and Charlie were still married. I didn’t resent them for that anymore. They had made that commitment long before they’d met me - in fact, I hadn’t even hit puberty at that time, so I couldn’t even wish I’d been included back then. Their fifteen years of shared history still bothered me, but less than it had. They did their best to include me in every way and let me know how much I meant to them.
I knew I was an important and vital third piece to their relationship. They told me often enough. I knew if I’d somehow been around - and legal - at the time when they were getting to know each other, they might not have set up their relationship in the way they had.
Still, I knew my status was not quite equal, and that it was never going to be quite equal. They had rings on their fingers, and I didn’t. But that fact seemed as decided and unchanging as any law of nature.
When Jasper told me one morning that we had to talk, I spent my entire day at work wondering about what. I barely saw the client files in front of me. In fact, I nearly forwarded one man’s information to another department because he had the same last name as a soft drink company.
I thought the day would never end… but at last I got home to my men, my palms sweaty and my heart hammering.
I was fairly sure they weren’t going to break up with me. Things had been going too well lately for that to be the case. But it had to be something bad. No one ever says “we need to talk” if it’s something good. Maybe one of the dogs was sick. Or one of their parents. Yes, one of their parents had cancer and they were going to fly across the country to take care of them. Never mind that Jasper wasn’t in touch with his parents and Charlie’s were right here in town.
A million more possibilities ran through my mind as Jasper finally guided me into the living room. We sat on the couch, one of them on either side of me, each with a hand on my knee. I had the impression of being a child whose dads were about to give him important news. But what - what - what? I could hardly sta
nd how long it was taking for me to find out.
“Reuben, we’ve been talking,” Jasper finally said.
“About what?” And could you get to the point, please?
“We were thinking about your apartment,” Charlie said. “And how little you use it.”
I looked from him to Jasper. Was this the move-in talk after all? And if so, why were they acting so weird about it? This was an awful lot of lead-up for a question that they had to know was going to get an enthusiastic “yes.”
“We have tons of space here,” Jasper said, looking almost embarrassed. “I mean, you know that. You’re here anyway. And the dogs are here. It’s pretty much a madhouse all the time, but that’s your own fault for adopting five dogs, so...”
“Doesn’t make much sense to have the dogs live here and not their owner,” Charlie said.
As if on cue, Moon strolled by. He flicked an ear at the group of us, then sat at Charlie’s feet and preened.
I nodded slowly. For once, the dog’s silly face wasn’t impairing my ability to think. My boyfriends wanted me to actually live here. For real.
“So you two talked through this by yourselves and came to the decision that it would make sense?” I asked with half a laugh. “At least I was consulted before you actually rented a moving van and brought my stuff over.”
“You saying you don’t want to?” Charlie asked, somewhat aggressively.
“He’s saying he wishes he’d been part of the decision-making process.” Jasper gazed at me keenly. “Take some time to think about your answer, Reuben. And for the record, we are including you for the decision-making on the next part.”
I hadn’t known there was going to be a next part. I sat straighter, suddenly feeling the weight of their hands on my knees. What could it be? Something bad - had to be. But if someone was sick or dying, what kind of decisions would need to be made?
“This might sound a little strange to you,” Jasper said. “And before we explain, I want you to understand this isn’t because anything is wrong. It’s because everything is right.”
I gave a strange laugh. “You sound so serious. I feel like you’re two parents telling their kid they’re getting a divorce.” Neither of them cracked a smile at the ridiculousness of my random thought. In fact, their faces were more serious than ever. “Wait, what’s going on?” I asked. “You’re not splitting up.”
“Not in practical terms,” Jasper said carefully. “But legally...”
I blinked rapidly. I wasn’t sure what he was saying, but I knew his response to my statement wasn’t “no.” What was going on? My fear from the very beginning of our relationship had finally come true - I had somehow gotten between them. But how had things gone so horribly off the rails without me even noticing it? Here I’d been thinking our relationship was stronger than ever. And all the while, they were planning a divorce?
“Reuben.” Charlie snapped his fingers in my face. “Listen up.”
But I couldn’t. I was freaking out, my world shattering around me. How could I move in if they were breaking up? Which one would I live with? Wait - which one was in love with me? One or the other had to have fallen so hard for me that he wanted to leave his husband.
And yet even now, looking back over the entirety of our romance and searching for evidence that either one wanted me like that, I couldn’t find any. It’d always been the three of us. At the beginning they’d loved each other first and me second, and these days we all seemed pretty darn close to equal. I couldn’t imagine a world where Jasper and Charlie didn’t love each other anymore. They’d always been completely solid... and somehow, I’d messed that up.
“Reuben!” Charlie grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. “Stop dreaming up whatever horror stories are in that pretty head of yours and let Jasper explain.”
I pinched my lips together. Charlie knew me so well... which was a pretty good reason to stop worrying and listen. “I’m sorry. Go ahead.”
Jasper nodded patiently. “First of all, nothing is decided. We said we were going to include you in this process, remember?”
I did.
“Now, no one is breaking up. We only got married at all because it was suddenly legal and it seemed like the thing to do when we’d been together for so long. We got caught up in the excitement and we said, why the hell not. So neither of us is too emotionally attached to being married. Got it?”
“I do, but...”
“Same sex marriage wasn’t around for most of our relationship, never mind our lives. And three people getting married still isn’t.”
“Doubt it will be anytime soon, but what can you do,” Charlie added.
“In the meantime, here we are.” Jasper gestured at the three of us. “All in love and, hopefully, committed to each other.”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“It’s been bothering both of us that you’re anything other than an equal partner in this relationship,” he went on. “Because it feels like we’re more and more equal. And if you don’t mind me being cheesy for a second, the love between us sure feels equal.”
I loved the sound of all of that, and for a moment I let a wave of happiness overtake me. Then I remembered why he was telling me all of this. “So why would you ever think about divorce?”
Jasper just looked at me, and slowly the pieces clicked into place.
“You would get divorced because of me,” I said slowly. “To make me equal.”
“Exactly. On paper, none of us would be married... but in reality, all of us would be.”
I’d been about to scratch my head. Instead, I froze. “This whole discussion tonight... all of this is you... proposing to me?”
Jasper looked sheepish. “Well, it’s not exactly romantic, and of course there’s nothing legal about it, but...”
“But that’s the way we feel about you.” Charlie’s voice was kind. “What do you say?”
Charlie
Reuben protested for a while. He claimed to hate the idea, actually.
I could see the truth in his eyes, though. He thought he was supposed to hate the idea of us getting divorced. Even after all of our explanations, he didn’t get that this divorce wasn’t the typical, ugly kind that meant the end of a relationship.
This one would mean the beginning of a different relationship—one big enough to include him as a completely equal partner.
“We’re sorry to spring this on you,” Jasper said to Reuben. “Maybe we should’ve held off until after you'd officially moved in.”
“No point,” I interrupted. “He should know if he wants this by now.”
“Give him some time to think,” Jasper said chidingly. “It’s got to be a shock to him.”
“He claims he loves us, so where’s the shock?” I gave Reuben a hard look. “If you love us, then be with us.”
“God, you’re even a jerk when you’re asking me to commit to you.” He rolled his eyes, and then his voice softened. “But yes… I want to be with you.”
A little gasp came out of Jasper, and he embraced Reuben so hard that Reuben gasped too. I joined the hug too, a smile spreading over my face and a glow building inside me. Reuben was going to be with us. Forever.
“I still don’t know about this divorce thing,” he said when we finally pulled apart. “If it’s just to make me feel better, it’s really not necessary. What if one of you is in the hospital and they wouldn’t let the other come and see you? Or what if one day we wanted to adopt a child?”
“You just said it,” Jasper told him gently. “We. That’s the three of us. Whatever happens, happens to all of us.”
“Don’t think we haven’t thought about this,” I added.
“Trust me,” Jasper said, “we’ve had many long talks about this. And we decided to act on what’s important now, rather than worrying about hypothetical events in the future.”
“For all we know, it’ll be legal for all of us to be married before any of us ends up in the hospital.” I nudged the puppy at my foot. “
And with five dogs in the house, I don’t think we’ll be adopting any kids soon.”
“But you’ve been together for so long,” Reuben said. “How could I ever catch up?”
“It’s not about catching up,” Jasper said firmly. “Charlie and I have spent more time together, but now you’re here, and you’re as much a part of this relationship as either of us. You don’t feel like a secondary anymore, Reuben—God, I hate that word now. You feel like another primary partner.”
“We’re like an equilateral triangle,” I said. “Same angles, same length, same distance between all of us.”
Reuben looked from me to Jasper, blinking. “It kind of sounds like you’ve made up your minds. If you two both want this…”
“No!” I said. “You have to want this. You hated being left out of the decision-making. Well, here you are! What do you want, honey? Stop putting us first for a second and think about you.”
That got to him. His eyes glazed slightly over and his lips trembled the tiniest bit. “I want to be with you,” he said. “Completely.”
“Then we’ll get a divorce.”
I went in for another hug, and this time when Jasper joined, he kissed Reuben hard and passionately. I kissed him next, melting into the feel of his lips on mine. My boyfriend—soon to be one of my boyfriends—was so amazing.
When I noticed the sharp intake of Reuben’s breath, I opened my eyes to see the tenting at his waist. Only then did I realize I was in the same condition. And now that we’d all acknowledged we were heading for the bedroom, we practically floated up the stairs together.
A puppy or two jogged after us, but we shut the door to keep them out. I was instantly all over Reuben, nipping and licking every inch of skin I could find as I eased him out of his clothes.
Jasper perched on the bed, watching us with a smile. I wondered if I should sit next to him and have Reuben go down on both of us again. But that wouldn’t have been right. We tended to have an us-and-him dynamic in the bedroom, with Jasper and I teaming up against him. Now we were all equal.