by Marta Perry
Allie shook her head at the irony. A month ago, that fact would have been a perfect excuse to avoid seeing her family. But now that her relationship with Molly was on the mend, the arrangement brought more depression than relief.
Her mother set her cider on the coffee table as her father brought a platter of cookies into the living room. “What’s this about no Christmas spirit?” His voice boomed as he settled onto the couch by Allie’s mom, reminding Allie of the years he played Santa for her and Molly growing up.
She hugged her pajama-clad legs up to her chest. “It’s been a rough year.”
“No harder than some.” Her mother bit into a bell-shaped cookie. “What’s really going on, Allie? I thought you’d be excited about your loan being approved and the prospect of starting your own store.”
“I was.” Allie shook her head quickly. “I am.” She sighed. “I’m just a little mixed up.” She felt more jumbled inside than the tangle of lights her parents had spent three hours unraveling for the tree. God, I need clear direction. You’ve practically handed me all my dreams on a silver platter—so why doesn’t it bring joy?
Her father sipped from his steaming mug of coffee and then pierced her with his familiar, knowing gaze. “Maybe your lack of excitement means this isn’t the right path.”
Panic stirred her stomach. “But it has to be.”
Her mother frowned. “Why, honey?”
Allie swallowed and looked away, fighting back a wave of emotion years in the making. “I have nothing else. I’m not good at anything else.” The truth of her statement wrapped her in a prickly blanket, and she shuddered.
“That’s not true.” Her father shook his head. “You’re a smart woman, Allie. You’ve made some choices in the past and are living the consequences, but that doesn’t mean they were wrong choices. They’ve brought you where you are today.”
“And where I am?” Allie gestured around the gaily decorated living room. “Unemployed, single, living off my parents.” Tears pricked her eyes. “I’m a failure.”
Silence filled the room.
“Just admit it.” Allie sniffed. “I know you’ve thought that the past few years after I turned down the consulting position.”
“We’ve never once thought that.” Her mom moved from the couch to the floor beside Allie. “I see now that I’ve made some comments about yours and Molly’s differences over the years that hurt you. But we’ve never considered you less worthwhile or successful than your sister.”
“She’s right,” her father said. “You alone see yourself as a failure. We see you as brave. You’ve taken risky roads before, and that requires courage. You’re about to head off down another one with your new store, and I have complete confidence that you’ll get it right.”
“As do I.” Mom wrapped one arm around Allie’s shoulder. “And if you need help, ask. Molly knows a few things about starting a business. She struggled at the beginning, too. No one is perfect.”
Perfect. Allie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand as she sent her parents an appreciative smile. Had that been her subconscious lofty goal that landed her in this mess in the first place? Had she tried too hard or put too much pressure on herself? Maybe she’d allowed her former boss’s words to cut a little too deeply. Maybe Allie could have done more, but life happened. Sales dropped. Shops closed.
Hearts broke.
I’d do whatever it took to make it work this time. Jordan’s words flashed back in her head, bringing with them equal parts joy and sadness. Joy because she’d always imagined this happening and sadness because he was too late. Her dreams were finally within reach, and she’d be a fool to miss her chance and risk her heart on Jordan. What if she gave up everything for him and he hurt her again?
She thought of the way she’d let her professional life influence her personal life and grimaced. She might be brave in some aspects, but in regards to her heart, she’d been overly protective. Maybe Jordan deserved a second chance after all.
Maybe she did, too.
“Thanks, you guys.” Allie hugged her mother and then stood and bent over the couch to hug her dad. “You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
“We should have had this talk a long time ago.” Her father patted her back as she straightened. “I hope we helped.”
“More than you know.” A hint of Christmas spirit began to seep inside Allie. “I’d better head to bed. Santa comes tonight, you know.” She winked at her parents as she headed toward the stairs, feeling lighter than she had in months. Tomorrow, she’d talk to Jordan. What was stopping her from giving him another chance, other than the fear of taking a risk?
Chapter Thirteen
Christmas morning dawned clear and crisp, covering the earth with a thin white blanket of snow. Allie sat on the floor by the tree in her favorite plaid pajamas amid piles of discarded wrapping paper. A plate of sausage balls were nestled in her lap—another of her favorite traditions. She felt like a kid again, and this time, the thought brought warmth rather than feelings of failure. She popped another sausage ball in her mouth and laughed at her father, who tried tossing a wad of torn paper into the trash bag across the room.
The doorbell rang, and her dad missed his shot, the paper bouncing off the side of the plastic and nearly hitting the tree. “Interference!”
“Who could that possibly be this early?” Allie’s mom stood and peered behind the lacy living room curtain at the front porch. “It’s not even eight o’clock.”
Dad stepped over his new pair of suede slippers and the box containing the tie Allie just given him and joined his wife at the window. “Maybe it’s our neighbors with cranberry pie. They brought one last year, remember?”
Mom shook her head with a smile and moved away from the curtain. “Actually, Allie, I think it’s for you.”
“Me?” Allie stood, clutching the knotted belt of her new pink robe. “What do you mean?” She rushed to join her parents at the window, tissue paper crunching under her bare feet, and looked outside.
Jordan.
Her breath caught. She didn’t want to see him, not with the tumult of last night’s emotions still churning. Her hope for any relationship with Jordan had dissolved into a thick puddle of reality. She was moving in mere days, and his place was here, in Ginger Falls, reconstructing the town into what he imagined—into what it deserved. Once again, their life goals were taking them in opposite directions, but this time, she was the one leaving.
“Run and get dressed. I’ll let him in.” Her mother stepped toward the front door, apparently taking Allie’s stunned silence as agreement.
Allie hurried up the stairs away from the Merry Christmas greetings echoing around the foyer. Jordan’s warm, familiar voice floated up the stairway with her, and she shut the bedroom door against it. She dressed quickly in jeans and a blue sweater, pausing to dab on a hint of makeup. Even if this conversation was just going to cause inevitable tears and heartache, at least she’d give Jordan a good memory of her face to carry with him until he moved on.
She knew she’d be doing the same.
The foyer was quiet, and she hesitated at the foot of the steps. Was he still here? After the way she and Jordan parted ways last night, she wouldn’t have been surprised if he hadn’t wanted to say goodbye before she left next week. He’d expressed his heart in the carriage, and she’d shot him down. That had to hurt.
In fact, she knew it hurt. He’d done the same to her ten years ago to the day.
“Jordan is outside.” Allie’s mother crossed the foyer into the kitchen, carrying their empty breakfast dishes from the living room. “I told him you’d be right there. Molly and Tim won’t be here for a few hours, so take your time visiting.”
Allie drew a steadying breath. “Thanks, Mom.” She slowly opened the front door and stepped onto the porch. The cold winter air pricked her lungs. She wrapped her arms around herself for warmth.
Jordan sat on one of the rocking chairs, gently gliding back and forth. He planted both fe
et on the porch when he saw her, abruptly stopping the motion. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas.” Allie stood by the door, not moving toward him, unable to trust herself in his presence. After realizing how she truly felt last night, the pain of their imminent separation would be that much harder if she allowed herself to enjoy his nearness. She kept her arms crossed, guarding her heart.
Jordan walked toward her, eyes bleary and tired, shoulders slumped. “I came to give you your Christmas present.”
“What?” Shock reeled Allie backward a half step. “Jordan, you shouldn’t have. After what I said last night—”
“Shh.” He pressed one finger against her lips, and Allie stilled under his touch. The pleading in his gaze nearly broke her heart. “Just come with me. Please?”
How could she say no when he looked so exhausted? What had he been doing? She looked back into his eyes and then averted her gaze. “Let me grab my coat.”
She was coming. Relief overcame the exhaustion he felt from staying up all night, and a brief rush of energy filled Jordan’s limbs. He’d wondered the entire time he worked on Allie’s present if she’d even allow him the chance to give it. He mentally rehearsed the words he wanted to say, but his tired brain could offer nothing witty or convincing. He’d have to wing it. God, I could use some backup here. He sent the plea into the heavens. But no matter what happened this morning, at least he knew he tried his hardest to show his heart to Allie.
The rest was up to her.
“I’m ready.” She stepped back on the porch, sliding her arms into the sleeves of her jacket. They descended the steps and climbed into Jordan’s SUV.
Jordan fastened his seat belt, hating the awkward silence between them. He cleared his throat as he started the engine. “Looks like we got a white Christmas.”
Allie smiled and nodded as she buckled her belt but didn’t speak. Jordan jerked the car into Reverse and drove as quickly as the snow and speed limit would allow. He didn’t blame her for the quiet, wouldn’t know what to think himself if the roles were reversed. Any other man would declare him crazy for expressing his feelings again, less than twenty-four hours after being shot down the first time, but he had to give it all he had. The only thing more painful than losing Allie for the second time in his life would be losing her without having done his best to win her back and living with that regret for another ten years.
He slowed the car as they approached the town square. Main Street was deserted, as most people were tucked contentedly in their homes, sharing Christmas with their families—though a good portion of them were probably as exhausted as he.
Jordan parked and got out. Allie frowned through the window as he approached her side. He opened the door and she unbuckled. “Jordan, what’s going on?”
He stepped aside as she slid out. “We’re here.”
“My present is Main Street?” Doubt crinkled her eyebrows, and she worked her lower lip between her teeth.
“No.” He gently took her shoulders and turned her north.
Her gaze landed on the giant green tent where the gazebo normally stood. “Where’s the gazebo?” She frowned, confusion shadowing her face. “I don’t understand.”
Jordan led her to the edge of the tent and lifted the giant flap. She peered inside and then sucked in a sharp breath. Jordan’s pulse pounded in his temples, and his heart stammered against his chest as he tried to decipher her glazed expression. She turned to him, eyes wide, and he said the only thing that came to mind.
“Merry Christmas, Allie.”
The gazebo stood proudly under the tent in front of Allie, like a groom dressed in his finest attire. She pressed her hands to her cheeks to contain her shock. The once faded and worn paint now glistened as white as the freshly fallen snow outside, and the crumbled bench had been replaced with a new wooden one, complete with black iron scrollwork. A beautiful lantern chandelier hung from the ceiling, draped in garland and berries. The entire roof glowed softly with tiny Christmas lights, illuminating the soft shadows under the tent.
Allie turned to Jordan. “This is for me?” Her hands shook, and he took one of her gloved palms in his.
“All for you. Come see up close.” He led her up the stairs onto the platform. “Watch out for the space heaters.”
She carefully stepped over one of the large heaters by the stairs and spun a slow circle on the deck, soaking in the details. Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked rapidly to hold them back. He’d done this for her. Even after the way she’d blown him off last night, he’d sacrificed time, money and sleep. He’d taken an even bigger risk than she had—he was risking his heart.
“How did you do this?” She stared up at the twinkling lights above, imagining how long it must have taken Jordan to complete this enormous task.
“I’d brought some sample pieces of my design business with me when I moved here, like the chandelier, and kept them in storage.” He grinned, temporarily erasing the lines of exhaustion around his eyes. “And I had a little help from the townspeople. Turns out they’re all pretty grateful for our work in Ginger Falls these past few weeks.”
She shook her head. “This is amazing. I can’t believe it.”
“The snow almost ruined the entire plan, but Mayor Cubley had this tent in the city’s storage center and let me use it. Theo and Greta and a lot of the other townspeople helped paint and pound nails and offered space heaters to help the paint dry in the cold. I sent everyone home around 2:00 a.m., but I stayed up all night.” Jordan glanced around the structure, his eyes lingering on various spots as if appreciating the work for the first time. “I didn’t know how else to show you how I feel.”
Allie’s heart jump-started, and she turned her gaze fully on the man in front of her. “What do you mean?”
Jordan tugged her toward him, and warmth flooded her veins. Her cheeks flushed, but she didn’t pull away.
“You said our relationship was like this gazebo, worn and tired. Well…” Jordan’s voice trailed off as he reached and tucked a curl of hair behind her ear. “I wanted to prove otherwise. The gazebo was able to be restored to its former glory and then some. I have the same faith that with a little work our love can do the same.”
The tears she’d worked so hard to keep at bay crested and slipped down her cheeks. She looked away from his intense gaze. “This is awful. You—and the entire town—gave me this amazing gift, and I didn’t get you anything.”
“Having you walk back into Ginger Falls and into my life was the best Christmas present I could ever have hoped for.” Jordan wiped her tears away with his thumb and cradled her face in his hands. “Allie, you’re the one for me. I’ve never been able to get over you, and you know what? I don’t want to try anymore.”
She closed her eyes, absorbing his touch, soaking in the sincerity of his words like a tree receiving a much-needed rain. Could this work? Could she risk her heart? She met his gaze with her own, hoping he could see her heart reflected inside. “I feel the same way.”
His eyes darkened with emotion, and he slid his hand from her cheeks to the nape of her neck, drawing her closer. “Marry me.” He whispered against her lips. “I don’t have a ring yet, but you’ve had my heart for longer than I can remember. Marry me, and make this the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”
Allie teetered at the crossroads of faith and security. She had to decide—extend her heart, or keep it tucked away out of reach. But she was tired of living in fear, tired of playing it safe. She wanted to feel. She wanted to love and be loved.
She wanted to take risks.
Allie quickly closed the distance between them, sealing their hearts and her answer with a kiss. He wrapped his arms around her, and she slid hers around his neck, clinging to the familiar warmth of his touch. How could she have ever thought she belonged anywhere but by Jordan’s side?
He slowly pulled away and rested his forehead against hers, grinning. “Was that a yes?”
“Yes.” She kissed him again for good
measure and then broke apart, breathless.
“Allie…I know how important your goal of opening a business is for you. I could never stand in the way of your dreams.” He nodded, as if confirming his internal struggle. “I’ll go with you to Kansas City. I owe you that much and more.”
She shook her head. “Jordan, no. Your place is here. Ginger Falls needs you. This is your passion.”
“Then what do we do?”
“I’ll stay.”
Jordan opened his mouth to protest, but Allie gently touched his cheek to quiet him. “I’m serious. I don’t want to be away from you or my family. I want to be a full-time aunt to Sophie, and now that my sister and I are on better terms, I’d like to be more involved in their lives. This is how it was meant to be.” She hesitated. “Maybe I could try to open a store here eventually.”
Jordan wrapped his arms around Allie’s waist and smiled down at her. “You know, there is a prime spot on Main Street just begging to be leased. Think your odds are good of acquiring a business loan here instead?” He winked.
Allie couldn’t help the grin that spread across her cheeks. She could have her dream and at the same time, help her hometown that she’d fallen in love with once again.
Thanks to the man she’d fallen in love with once again.
“Oh, I’d say they’re pretty good.” She curled her fingers into the collar of Jordan’s jacket. “Especially if I have a certain boss’s referral on my application.”
“That can definitely be arranged.” Jordan’s smile faded as his gaze turned serious.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.” She nestled against his chest, amazed at how she still fit perfectly beneath his chin. Some things never changed, and today, she’d never been more grateful for the fact.
“There’s just one more thing.” Jordan let go of her long enough to point above them.