by C. M. Owens
“It’s neutral territory. I don’t know enough about balance to go killing off any of the good guys, even if they’ve been bad guys to me. Word on the street is that I’m pretty reasonable,” I say in my defense to his hesitation.
He snorts a sound of laughter. “You admitting to me you don’t understand balance is proof enough you genuinely have no idea what’s going on.”
“I don’t know why I have to prove myself at all. I’m not the one who killed someone,” I tell him.
Again, I get glared at.
“Let me rephrase: I’m not the one who killed someone very important,” I amend. “Now you’re forcing me to sound tacky by tooting my apocalyptic horn.”
My headache starts to ebb, so I grin at him like I’ve done something right.
“I’m forcing you to sound tacky?” he asks incredulously as he snatches the Nintendo off the counter like he doesn’t even have any questions about my request. “You’re the tackiest person I know.”
“You’re the judgiest person I know,” I volley. “Judged me to death already, haven’t you?” I carry on.
I grin when he just shakes his head and kneels, plugging everything up, while acting like he’d rather be absolutely anywhere else. He’d hate me if angels were allowed to have hate in their hearts.
“We beat this game before we talk. Your nose bleeding so much means you’re thinking too hard about all this, and that’s actually really alarming with you topside,” he says as he glances over at me.
“Where would it be safest for me to have an emotional meltdown? Because no one wants me to have an episode in hell either,” I state idly as I take a seat in front of the smallish TV.
“Purgatory. But there’s no electricity there,” he deadpans as he tosses the controller to my lap.
He does something with some wires and extra pieces to make it all fit.
Seems complicated.
He takes the other controller at last and lowers himself to a chair that is no less than seven feet away and at an odd angle.
The second I start playing, there’s an instant pressure lifted from my skull. The plumber thing is sort of doing it for me in a weird way.
“I get the appeal of a hero, but they’re all just as selfish as I am because they don’t really want to die either,” I point out as I help my plumber battle his way to the flag pole. “They’re never expected to sacrifice the ones they love to win a war that’s not even theirs to fight,” I add very reasonably. “They can’t use the excuse that they’re evil.”
Harold’s jaw tics.
“I’m not following your askew version of reasoning. Let’s discuss important matters. Without question, the quad’s memories of you have been wiped out. Memories of all of it. Their nightmares of Hell’s Black Heart gave me so much pause every time I guided them or helped them stay safe. I’m neutral here—not righteous,” he says quietly and calmly.
“I don’t find you all that righteous even as Heratio, based on what I’ve seen so far,” I dutifully inform him.
He exhales harshly.
“You know it’s true, Paca. Regardless of why you were made, you don’t get around becoming a weapon. I believe you likely found a way to retrieve your pieces and make yourself, and them, strong enough to kill Jahl without having to detonate.”
His eyes meet mine.
“Why else do all this, right?” I ask like it’s rhetorical as I curse the little gap that fucks up my virtual plumber’s life so close to the pole dance ending.
“You’re frivolous, selfish, spoiled, vapid, reasonably insane, and while you may keep a neutral stance on most things, you are still undeniably evil with the blood of Lucifer coursing through your veins.”
I pause the game and blink at him a few times.
“This is where you say, ‘but at least you’re pretty,’ like most judgmental men do after trying to make the woman sound like a horrible person,” I’m quick to say.
“Don’t make this a gender thing, you lunatic. I’m saying I don’t expect you to be a hero. You’ve created another way somehow, Paca. Must have. Now that you’ve accomplished the impossible, you need to follow through with whatever ludicrous plan you put into play five centuries ago when you set me up for my fall to catapult this into action—”
His words freeze, and his eyes widen marginally over my shoulder as his mouth falls open.
I glance back, expecting Lamar, and also do a wide-eyed, parted-lips stance when I see a very feral Gage hovering in the back corner with a subtle, eerie glow to his eyes.
“You look really evil right now,” I point out, wondering what the hell has happened in the short time since I left him.
His eyes narrow on Harold, and I clear my throat a few times.
“There’s actually a semi-reasonable explanation as to why I haven’t killed him,” I explain. “Apparently this is all my fault and not his. Please don’t kill him or me.”
Now I’m being glared at again, only this time it’s solely Gage who is doing it. The other three aren’t here, and Harold is frozen in place as Gage steps out in his very unusual black clothing.
“What the hell?” I ask worriedly as I dive toward him, trapping his face between my hands when I see the stubble of a beard leading down to a long, black, scary line on his neck.
“He’s been in Hell’s Black heart. That means he’s started a line to connect to its power,” Harold says quietly from behind me.
Gage slides his arm around my waist, roughly yanking me up against his front as he continues to narrow his eyes at Harold.
“He’s your friend, remember? I punished him by making him like you. Apparently it torments his soul. Don’t give him a reason to hate you now. He has my Nintendo,” I tell the very angry Famine Horseman.
Gage cuts his eyes to me again, eyebrow arching, as his jaw subtly grinds.
“Did you learn anything of value?” he asks with a suspiciously calm tone.
I feel like there’s a trap somewhere.
“Actually, yes. I’ll tell you all about if you’ll get us back—”
My breath flogs my throat like a volatile assailant in the next instant. My hair blows in my face, and all the colors swirl around us.
It’s the most abrupt a siphoning has ever felt, and I’m spit out in my hell room with Gage still holding onto me.
He looks down with a cold edge to his unusual, new, cool blue eyes.
“What the hell happened?” I ask more seriously.
He rolls his new eyes. “Fun fact: an hour in Hell’s Black Heart, even as a guest, tricks the mind and body into believing it’s been a week. Or time works differently there—one or the other. But you can’t just get out whenever you want. You have to enter and exit on the fucking hour, and none of your evil family bothered telling us how to tell what hour it is.”
Keeping his face between my hands, I stare him directly in the eye. “Do you want me to kill my daddy for you? Is that what you’re asking?”
His eyes roll so far back in his head that I almost worry he’s seizing before his eyes flutter shut and he bites down on his fist. A muffled, frustrated sound leaves him.
“Is that a yes?” I ask to be sure.
When his eyes open again, they narrow on me. “Sit down.”
“I’m not sure I like your tone. You’re about to scold me for running off without—”
He palms the top of my head and shoves me to the seat in front of him.
“Fine. I’ll sit down,” I tell him primly as I cross my arms over my chest, leaning back as I sigh.
He squats in front of me so that we’re eye to eye.
“What’d you learn?” he asks without sounding like he wants to throttle me.
My eyes are the ones to narrow this time.
“Why aren’t you doing the thing where you try to wring my neck or sulk?” I ask uncertainly. “Where are the others?”
I look around, wondering if they’re behind me and about to do something horrible. But…it’s just us in here.
His eyes dip to my mouth and come back up to my eyes. “I volunteered to be the one to find you. The others went back to the Black Heart.”
“Too bad you can’t be my favorite, since we’re all alone…but there’s still the matter of the unaddressed other woman.”
I drag my finger up his arm, and his eyes follow the motion as I give him a little grin.
His eyes flick back to mine as he lifts an unimpressed eyebrow.
“Well, since I can’t be your favorite, I guess you’ll just have to start talking about all you just learned,” he drawls as he moves in closer.
My gaze drops to his lips as his tongue wets them.
“Such a waste,” I decide aloud, causing his lips to twitch.
Chapter 15
“So why aren’t you mad that I went to see him by myself?” I muse as Gage strips down to his boxers, preparing to change.
I sit back and admire the view, absently tapping my chin as he whispers something into that compass looking thingy on his arm.
“What is that? The escorts wear it too,” I go on.
“It’s not important,” he answers as it vanishes from his arm like it was never there.
I blink a few times.
“Maybe you should repay the favor and share everything you’ve learned now,” I point out with a frown.
“I don’t fully understand the rules down here. I don’t feel any pain from them, so the bond isn’t strained, even with the deceptive time difference,” he adds mildly as he glances toward the door.
Someone knocks and the door swings open. The second I see who it is, I’m off my chair and on my feet.
Lamar gives me a bored look as Chloe appears beside him. My eyes widen as Gage drags me in front of him and kisses my neck.
“By the way, I’m with the Apocalypse now,” Gage tells her as she drops to the ground and bows before me.
I don’t even get to say something
“I already filled her in,” Lamar says in a droll tone as he glances down at his nails. “You’ll have no farther issue.”
Well…that’s anticlimactic.
“I thought I was supposed to get to play cruel games and stuff,” I point out as Chloe crawls away as quickly as she can.
“You left me in an alley, and then I was sent off like an errand boy,” Lamar says like he’s pouting before he turns on his heel and walks off.
Before I can have any sort of comment, Gage’s lips are distracting me, because he’s kissing a trail down the side of my neck very gently.
“I suppose you can be my favorite now,” I say as my eyes flutter shut, and I lean back against him.
I expect some sort of witty retort or dry sarcasm. Instead, Gage gently slides his arms around my waist, his touch so surprisingly reverent.
“Why are you being so nice?” I warily decide to ask when he lifts me from the ground and starts carrying me toward the bed.
His lips gingerly brush my forehead like I’m suddenly a fragile little doll instead of the destructive weapon I am.
“The next time you take off to do something you just know you have to do, I want you to come find me and take me with you,” he murmurs as he places me on the bed and comes down on top of me.
Because I’m a bit easy when it comes to the four of them, I go phantom, turn naked underneath him, and slip my fingers through his hair as I pull him down for a kiss.
It’s weird to feel him smile against my lips, only because he so rarely smiles.
The smile disappears when he deepens the kiss, still taking his time, making this feel like it’s all at his leisure. Then he starts kissing down my body with an agonizingly slow pace.
Rough. Dirty. Devilish. That’s all the attention I’ve had from them thus far. Nothing ever as tender as this.
My heart flutters painfully in my chest when he kisses the inside of my palm so reverently, and then he slowly slides his lips back over to my hip. It almost feels like he’s worshiping my body right now, and I’m not exactly sure how I feel about this.
I mean, it has to be trap.
I forget how to think when he puts that mind-numbing mouth right where I really want it.
The moan that slips from my lips keeps time with the slow arch of my back. It apparently excites him, because he pretty much gets to work trying to shatter me as thoroughly as he can after that.
He holds me in place even as I try to get away from the powerful, too-intense sensations flooding through my body. He really is the mouth wizard, and I can’t even catch my breath from the first orgasm before the second one is tearing through my body.
I cry out in borderline pain with that one, and he rips his mouth away, kissing a trail up my body as I stay a mushy pile of shudders.
My breaths come out in sharp, somewhat embarrassing pants, but I refuse to go phantom and lose all the lingering little sparks of wonderment I’m feeling right now.
I’m almost high on the air around us when he slides inside me so slowly, his lips dragging up my neck as he takes his time.
My eyes screw shut, because it all just feels too good. I don’t even realize my nails have bit into his skin until he hisses out a breath, sliding so close to me it almost feels like our questionably-existent souls touch.
He kisses me suddenly, and he groans into my mouth as he continues to take his time with me.
I’m not even sure about everything I’m feeling right now. All I know is that I love the way it feels…as though he’s somehow turned us into one entity for this brief moment as every touch between us gets magnified.
My breath is stolen as his grip tightens, his desperation subtly growing as he breaks the kiss and locks eyes with me. There’s almost confusion on his face mixed with frustration.
He roughly shoves a hand in my hair, holding me to him like I’m trying to get away, when I’m only trying to claw closer. I’m on fire from the inside out, and it all burns in the best possible way.
It isn’t until I see the mounting desperation in his eyes coupled with the steady intensity of his parted lips that my heart clicks into place. It’s like I just know what it is he wants to say but can’t…
“I love you too,” I whisper, almost surprising myself.
His lips crash to mine, and he collapses to me, hips slamming into me as my heart clicks one more time. The entire room shakes, and a resounding boom rushes through the air as all the lights flicker and go dark.
The hell candle wicks relight on their own as Gage stills against me. His head lifts, and our eyes stay calmly locked as the thudding of both our hearts grow louder.
His brow wrinkles, and he opens and closes his mouth a few times. When no words ever come out, he finally dips his head and kisses me again as his fingers lace with mine. He pushes our twined hands up above my head as he starts moving his hips again, already starting all over.
My heart is hurting and happy at the same time. I didn’t even understand how badly I needed at least one of them to love back.
Just as he breaks the kiss to speak, I talk over him. “It’s going to be hard to replace you as my favorite for a while,” I dutifully inform him.
His grin is swift, even as his eyes narrow like he’s agitated how big his smile is. The next kiss feels a little like punishment for making him happy.
He fortunately doesn’t notice the tear that slips down my cheek because of how good it feels to be loved back. I’m pretty sure that makes me sound too much less badass.
Chapter 16
“Why the hell is she glued to you? I’ve pulled her off you at least ten times,” I hear Kai saying from somewhere behind me as a hand lazily traces circles on my hip.
“I’m her current favorite. What did you expect?” I hear Gage drawl.
I’m not sure why I smile. Actually, I know exactly why I smile. Somebody looooooooves me!
I snuggle against Gage’s side a little more and breathe him in.
“What the hell did you tell her to make you that much of her favorite?” Ezekiel asks like he’s sulking
.
Awwww. Are they fighting over me?
I’m not sure how I feel about Hell’s Black Heart making them suddenly appreciate me. If they feel gratitude, they’re enjoying the wrong Paca. I’ll cut them if it’s not this new and less-improved version of me they’re suddenly adoring.
“It’s clear he gave her some random first she really wanted. Stop being whiny dicks about it so I can get some fucking sleep,” Jude groans from somewhere close by.
Soft lips brush my forehead, and I snuggle even closer to Gage. His arms go around me and hold me to him, and I release a content little sigh.
“Okay, now I’m really fucking curious what’s suddenly going on here,” Jude says with fresh alertness.
“He loves me,” I murmur against Gage’s chest.
He huffs out a sound of annoyance as I just grin, but…it’s dead silent in the rest of the room.
I peek open an eyelid, wondering what calamity is about to befall us and steal my greatest moment of joy so far. Ezekiel is staring down at the ground, a small frown on his lips and a wrinkle on his brow like he’s confused.
I glance over my shoulder to see Jude’s eyebrow quirked like he’s genuinely baffled by the concept. Dick.
Kai is glaring at Gage like he’s a traitor, even as he tries to tug me away from the horseman who’s playing tug-of-war to keep me.
“Did you find out anything in the Black Heart about this thing we’re supposed to deal with or run from?” I ask them.
Kai glares at me like he’s annoyed I’m not budging from Gage’s side.
“Not even you’re pretty enough to be my favorite right now. Deal with it,” I say on a tired sigh.
He throws his hands in the air like I’m frustrating, and I feel Gage’s smile against the side of my head.
“We actually learned some about Jahl,” Jude says, eyes narrowing on me. “While you ran off to do something reckless.”
“She found out useful information,” Gage tells him with a dismissive tone.
It’s like all the air is sucked out of the room simply because Gage has disagreed with the reprimand in Jude’s tone.
Jude’s brow furrows like he’s agitated, and I kiss Gage’s chest while patting it. I’m not sure when I ended up in this soft, satin gown. But it’s purple, and purple is clearly my new color.