A Viking's Lost Soul

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A Viking's Lost Soul Page 23

by T. M. Grinsley


  Water pools in his eyes, but I know he is trying to keep his cool in front of me. Seeing the pain in his eyes, though, is too much.

  The dam that was holding back everything I was feeling finally breaks. Everything I feel for Finn explodes out of my chest. Heavy sobs wrack my body as anger, fear, hatred, love, and all the emotions I feel for Finn start pouring out. Tears pour out of my eyes, clouding my vision. I feel Christian pull me into my arms, holding me tight.

  “It’s. All. My. Fault.” I say between sobs, which are making it impossible to breathe. I hold onto Christian like my life depends on it. This has to be a dream, there is no way a man like Finn could die like this.

  I may have only met Christian a few weeks ago, and with the way he always looked at me, I thought he hated my guts. But Finn told me Christian is just an angry ass who doesn’t know how to be a human being in front of a woman. Then you add the fact that Finn was all over me and Christian’s attention was only on saving me from Bjarne’s clutches, and not his brothers. That caused a problem.

  For years, these men have fought by each other’s side, always having each other’s back, no matter what. But when Finn’s allegiance turned and was now directed at me, Christian took it hard. He took his anger out on Finn, but he never took the chance to really see what was going on in front of him.

  Finn was turning into someone they never knew existed. He smiled, laughed, and enjoyed life. His brothers have never seen him this carefree. Finn is now a man in love. A killer who learned there is more to life than bloodshed and being the devil's delivery boy.

  Christian moves his hand in a circular motion on my back, whispering words in their native tongue. Finn once told me, it is forbidden to speak their language outside of the Hrothgier walls, but he doesn’t care anymore. He is done with playing by the rules and wants to be free.

  Finn would talk to me in his native tongue when he thought I was asleep, but I never was. Hearing their native language always calms my nerves, but at this moment, it isn’t working. The tears and the sound of my heart breaking never stop.

  “This isn’t your fault. Finn knew what he signed up for. Hell, we all know what we signed up for.” I feel Christian’s hands tighten around my biceps, pulling me away from him. “We grew up thinking being a killer was the only way of life. But you changed that. Our oath was a vow to hunt down our enemies, kill without thought, and erase them from history. Finn is the one who took his vows to heart because of what was done to his family. He lived, breathed, and vowed to die by those words.

  “But he is not that man anymore. He went against the Brotherhood and everything he believed in, for you. He made decisions that could get him killed for treason, for you. He used to be a man who was soulless, void of emotion, and fucked without care. Until you.”

  Christian’s words hit me hard. Finn is a stone cold killer. But that doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care what he has done. I should be terrified of him. I should be packing my shit and getting the hell away from all this. But I can’t. This is my world now, and I am madly in love with a killer.

  “That doesn’t matter to me. I don’t care what he used to do. I just need him back.” I whisper, hearing my voice crack.

  “You will get him back. Etienne will not rest until he is sure Finn is back with us. I know for a fact the gods are not done with him yet. He finally got the woman he has loved since he was thirteen; they are not cruel enough to take that away this soon. There is no way he is leaving you now.” Christian’s eyes hold hope, and that is good enough for me. Finn reminded me of what happened all those years ago, and it brought a smile to my face. The boy who never forgot the one person who showed him kindness and compassion, when everyone else treated him like the devil's spawn.

  Sure, he has a temper that goes unhinged at the slightest touch, could kill you with a straw, or make it, so you never existed, and everyone forgets your name. But to me, that isn’t him. He is a man who secretly loves James Bond, traveling the world to see what secrets they hold, and snuggling on the sofa with me while I talk his ear off about Xena.

  The door to Finn’s room starts to open, and a disheveled Etienne walks out with blood all over his clothes and skin. He looks exhausted. Walking over to the sink, he rubs his hands viciously together to try and get Finn’s blood off.

  Standing up on wobbly feet, I walk over to Etienne. His hands grip the edge of the sink with his head bowed down.

  “How is he?” I whisper, not sure if I should touch him or not.

  “You can go see him. He is out cold, but he is alive. The poison has been flushed from his system.” Etienne never lifts his head, but his body tenses as my arms wrap around his shoulders.

  Placing a kiss on his cheek, I pour as much gratitude in that one act as I can. “Thank you.”

  Etienne lifts his head, and his eyes soften when they land on mine. “Go to him. He will need you.”

  I squeeze his shoulders one last time before heading in to see Finn. As my hand wraps around the door handle, Darren bursts into the small room with several books in his hands. “I’ve got them!”

  Christian gasps as he reads the words on the binding of the books. “It’s not possible.”

  Etienne charges toward Darren and rips the books out of his hands. The leather bound books look old and faded. A few edges are frayed from wear and tear, but they look like books from a historic library. “How the hell did you find them?”

  “Finn told me where they might be. I had to sneak past the guards and knock out a few of our own. Shit is going down, and it’s not looking good. Hrothgier has sided with Bjarne. They are coming after Steph.”

  My blood starts to run cold. Hrothgier has dedicated their lives to killing Bjarne and anyone who threatens the Iseley line. What the hell is going on?

  Etienne puts the books carefully down on the table and starts to flip through the pages. Christian pulls aside a few books and starts to do the same. They mutter silently to each other as they furiously look for something of importance.

  “Go see him, Steph. When I find what we are looking for, I’ll come get you.” Etienne says without lifting his gaze from the textbooks.

  Looking over the guys one last time, I head into Finn’s room. The sight before me turns my stomach upside down. Finn is as pale as a ghost, with white gauze all over his stomach. A monitor beside his small bed tells me he is breathing and alive, but just barely. The room is small with two small end tables on each side of the bed, both littered with bloody gauze and medical equipment.

  Doing what I can to not look at the blood all over the floor, I walk slowly over to Finn. His chest rises and falls, but the movements pull at his wounds. His face is sporting that same cold mask, which has me smiling just a tad. Even in his sleep, he looks like an ape when I am not around.

  Sitting on the edge of his bed, I maneuver myself, so my body is pressed next to his uninjured side. His breaths stay even, as I entwine our hands, praying something will change, so he knows I’m here. But nothing.

  Doing everything I can to keep myself from losing it again, I kiss his chest and listen to the beat of his heart. The beeping from the monitor starts to fade out as his heartbeat lulls me to sleep.

  I don’t know how long I am passed out for, but I feel someone lightly shaking me awake. I turn with groggy eyes to see Christian motioning me to follow him. Placing a gentle kiss on the top of Finn’s forehead, I follow Christian out of the room.

  “Damn.” I mutter as I take in the scene before me. Old textbooks litter the floor, with loose paper scattered about. Etienne and Darren are hovering over something in the far corner, while Ian and Karl are busy on the computers, which are set up on the dining room table. When the hell did they get here? I wasn’t asleep that long, was I?

  “They got here last night. I went to go in and check on you, but I saw you were passed out. Figured we would give you time to sleep since you’ve been through so much. We have been working nonstop for the past twelve hours. Darren, Ian, and Karl brought in
the computers, to help us scan everything into the system with a secure database only they can hack. Karl is one of the best hackers in the world, but Ian built a firewall that will destroy anyone’s computer if they attempt to get through without the special code.”

  I nod my head like that makes any bit of sense, and watch the men go to work. I carefully walk around the piles all over the floor and sit beside Etienne. His strong arm wraps around me and pulls me into a tight hug. “How are you holding up, Steph?”

  Shrugging my shoulders, I point to the piece of paper in his hand. “What’s that?”

  Etienne gives me a knowing look, and I drop it. I don’t know these men very well, and I would rather not lose it again. Christian already had to witness that hot mess. “Finn told me he was going to tell you about us. But knowing you, you’d need proof to fully comprehend what we are about. Liam told me the old texts were destroyed long ago, but Finn knew better. He told Darren to go dig them up and bring them here. Granted, we had no idea the fuckers would track you down and kill you before we extracted you to the next location.”

  “Extracted to the next location?”

  This is when Etienne tells me what this entire trip is about. Bring me to Norway away from Bjarne, so I have an army at my beck and call. Every few days, we would move to the next town, to give the men time to lure Bjarne out. Finn and Etienne were against the idea, but orders are orders. But they changed up the plan and went against the Hrothgier. My father didn’t die from his cancer, the database center where he worked, blew up that day and the Hrothgier did what they do best. Give a false story to cover shit up.

  My mother was murdered in broad daylight by Bjarne when I was six years old. He planned to take me for himself and use me as his wife. That thought alone causes me to almost vomit. Thinking of the way that man spoke when he talked to me on the ground causes my skin to crawl.

  He continues to tell me about all their roles in my life. They introduced Etienne to me when we first moved to Colorado, so we would grow up together, and he could watch my every move. Finn was always in the shadows, making sure nothing ever happened. Thinking back to all the times he saved me, brings a sad smile to my face.

  But that is when reality starts to sink in, I think about everything Etienne and Finn have done the past several weeks. The trips in the middle of nowhere, the weird way they were acting as we traveled from Alta to Skorraey. Finn acting weird the night before he told me everything at the Borne mounds.

  Tears start to form again, not from what they told me, but from betrayal. How could they do this to me? Am I some pawn in their game that they can dispose of when the time is right? Their sole focus is to lure out Bjarne and eliminate the enemy.

  “Steph?”

  Pushing his arm off my shoulder, I start to stand. Taking slow, calculated steps backwards, I have to get out of here. “How could you?”

  “Steph, get your ass back here. I had no choice. If I told you the truth, you would have overreacted and been a huge pain in the ass. You would have walked right into Bjarne’s hands. He would have killed you, or far worse.” Etienne puts his hands out in front of him as he slowly makes his way towards me.

  “You liar! What do you have to do with all this? Pretend to be my friend and then get close to me, so I will do whatever you ask. I LOVE YOU LIKE A BROTHER! You told me we would never lie or have secrets. We made that pact when we were kids. I TRUSTED YOU. And for what? This entire time, you are counting down the clock to my death. THAT WAS MY FATHER! THE ONLY PARENT I HAD LEFT!” I am screaming at this point, but I don’t care. The man who have I trusted above all else, lied to me. He was never my friend, just someone my father hired to protect me.

  “I never lied to you. I was told as a kid to get close and become friends. I never thought I would grow to love you like a sister. I would do anything for you, and you know that. Christ. Your father did everything he could to protect you. He went through hell and back, just to make sure Bjarne and his men never found you. He did have cancer, but he was in remission. I fought him tooth and nail to let one of us trail him that day. I begged him. Because seeing that look on your face tore me apart. Fuck. I would give anything to turn back time and reverse everything. But I can’t.”

  Gone is the man who was trying to calm me down. In his place, is a man who is furious. He blocks my way from retreating as he continues to chew my ass out.

  “Finn went against everything he believed in to tell you the truth. Each day, he spilled his guts and started to reveal his true self to you. You fell hard and fast. He was the only man who has ever made you smile the way you do when you look at him. What the hell was I supposed to fucking do? Ruin your only chance of ever being truly happy? Jesus Christ, Steph. Just let us show you what we do. We have spent years dedicating our lives to this. Don’t let your ignorance and bullshit get in the way from seeing the truth. After that, you can make your own fucking mind.”

  Etienne turns his back to me and walks towards the dining room table. The entire room is completely silent and staring wide-eyed at Etienne. He grumbles a few words under his breath as he lays a few papers on the table. Darren, Ian, and Karl pick up their gear and quickly move out of the way of Etienne.

  I look around the room, at all the men who are still staring at Etienne in disbelief. He normally keeps his cool with me and has never come unhinged.

  Taking careful steps towards Etienne, I sit in the chair next to him and keep my mouth shut. His eyes rack over the table and slowly land on me after a few minutes of silence. The air around us is crackling with pent-up frustration, and I do something I never thought I would ever do in front of a bunch of men.

  Yes, it is one hundred percent childish, but right now, I need my brother back. With Finn incapacitated, he is all I have left. “Superman and Xena forever,” I say as I stick out my pinky, waiting for him to mimic our old pact.

  A soft chuckle escapes his lips as his pinky connects with mine. A smirk starts to form on his lips as he pulls me in for a hug.

  “I’m sorry, Etienne.” I murmur in his ear.

  Etienne shakes his head as he pulls out of our embrace and directs his attention to the task at hand. He never speaks a word about what happened, but the look in his eyes, and that one act is all I need, to know all is forgiven. I acted out of fear and took it out on someone I love.

  “O-kay…” Christian says as he walks up to the table and rests his fist on the edge. “Now that, that… whatever the hell that was, is done, can we get back to the task at hand?”

  “Steph. I am about to change your entire outlook on the world as we know it.” Etienne says as he slides an old textbook in front of me.

  Chapter 33

  ~ Stephanie ~

  “Holy shit! Are you guys like the Templar Knights or something?” I ask in awe, as my brain tries to process everything these guys just told me. These men are not just killers. If it wasn’t for them, meddling into everyday life, history as we know it would never be what it is now. Who knows what would have happened if they never meddled and caused events to change for the better?

  “We are far superior and less holy.” Christian boasts as he sips his sixth beer, so far. It’s been over eight hours since the guys started telling me everything they know. They’ve had their hands in everything, from working against the church in the Crusades, starting in 1100 AD, to the Hundred Year War, and so on; My mind is blown. They constantly stood in the background, rescuing the innocent and putting a stop to the power hungry, pieces of work this world is plagued with.

  As the time goes on, I am in complete and utter awe of these men. Generation after generation, they worked together to stop the evil from taking over. They help the weak and destroy the rich, keeping them from becoming too powerful. Damn, they sound like Robin Hood and his men, but they are far cooler. They have been doing this for well over a thousand years.

  “See why we didn’t tell you?” After hearing Etienne out, I feel like a complete idiot for what I did. I was hurt that the only people
that mattered in my life were paid to protect me from an enemy who has been trying to kill off my family for years. When they told me about Sam though, I wasn’t surprised in the least.

  Locking eyes with Etienne, I nod once, but something in the book laid out in front of him catches my eye. “What’s that?”

  Christian leans over the book and tells me what I really wish was a lie. “That is Bjarne’s family crest. Why?”

  Walking away from the table, I look into Finn’s room and see him still asleep. If I tell the guys why I know that symbol, they may kill me. If I just shrug it off, Etienne will know I’m lying and force me to tell him. No matter which option I choose, I’m screwed. Add this to the fact that I didn’t tell them about my little run in with Eira, and the whole she wishes I was never born thing...

  Biting my bottom lip, I contemplate what I should do. Why couldn’t Kari have just told them what she told me? Why come to me, of all people? I have no power, I don’t even know how to shoot a gun. The guys tell me I have an army at my disposal, but I just found out Hrothgier is working with Bjarne.

  “Steph? Why did you ask about the symbol?” Etienne takes a step closer to me, but his eyes warn me to not lie to him.

  Running my hand through my hair, I prepare myself for the worst. “Eira was wearing that symbol on her neck when we got to Skorraey. When you were around, she kept it hidden, but I saw her mess with it several times. Then she got into the whole wishing I wasn’t alive part.” I stop there because every man in the room has a murderous look in their eye, all except Christian.

  “What did you just say?” No. Please, fucking Odin, Freya, Thor, or who the hell is listening, do not let that be him. He adores Eira, and to hear me just say, ‘Hey, by the way. The woman you love like a mother is possibly setting you up to die, and she is the reason all this is happening. Oh, and hi.’ Please, let this be a dream. Fuck.

  My shoulders tense as I slowly turn my head and see Finn in the doorway. His hand is holding the door frame for support, while his other hand is wrapped around his ribs.

 

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