by Paul Kelly
“Oh! Yes . . .mother is a lot better now,” added Fiona but she refrained from saying that Maya was in hospital, nor what she was in there for. She knew she would have to tell William in time, but she hoped she could avoid that subject for as long as possible and once again wished she hadn’t invited him round so soon, but hardly had she concluded her thoughts than the telephone rang again. She excused herself from the lounge and went into the hall.
“Hello ... hello ... yes this is Miss Munroe-Smith.” There was a long silence before Fiona spoke again and even that was just with a gasp as she replaced the receiver and went back to William in the lounge.
“Are you alright, Fiona?” he asked, “You look upset. Sit down. You look as though you are going to faint. Is there anything I can do?”
Fiona sat down clumsily as she tried to regain her breath. In the next few seconds she began to realize just what her mother had meant to her even if they had their differences when she was with her.
“I should go to the hospital,” she called out. “I should be there by now.
I ... I’m afraid I have some bad news William,” she heard herself being obliged to say, “It’s about Maya, I’m afraid …”
William jumped up from where he was sitting and his face was stern.
“Bad news . . . bad news . . . What news …F …F …F… Fiona. T ... T ... T ... Tell me please.”
Fiona swallowed hard and closed her eyes before she realized that William was stuttering badly again …
“It’s ... it’s about mother and I don’t know if you knew that she was pregnant. Did you William?”
“What ... Maya … p ... p ... p ... pregnant ... but how ... Who is the …f ... f ... f ... father of the child?” he demanded to know and Fiona started to cry. “We must … g ... g ... get to the hospital now without delay,” he said, but Fiona grabbed his arm and made him sit down.
“It’s not just the pregnancy, William. Mother was taken into hospital in the last few days to have the baby ... and that’s what I was going to tell you when I invited you round to my flat this afternoon, but it’s more than that.”
William came forwards and grabbed Fiona by both arms.
“In the last …f ... f ... few days,” he gasped “M ... M ... M ...Maya went into hospital in the last few days,” he snapped, and all the stammering that he thought he had conquered returned in that moment “ My God Fiona … w ... w ... why … d … d … didn’t you tell me before this. I would have …g …g … gone there to see her… you know I would. Tell me ... Tell me, Fiona. Tell me what’s wrong. I ... I ... I ... must know . . .” he screamed.
“I don‘t think you would have been allowed to go to see Maya, William, even if she was in hospital, as the court order would ... ” Fiona swallowed her words and didn’t know what else to say, but William cut her short in the middle of her sentence,
“Court order be … d ... d ... damned,” he shouted, I’m going now to the hospital and I … d …d … don‘t care about any b ... b ... b ... bloody… c ... c ... court order any more.”
“Wait ... wait for a moment, William ... Please wait …there is something ... something more you should know. Maya’s child, a little girl, was malformed when she was delivered by Caesarean Section this afternoon and was found to be dead. That was the news I just received from the hospital,” she said softly and William collapsed back into his chair as Fiona tried once more to explain. “You see, William the child; a little girl was an ectopic birth and there were bound to be problems. There always is in cases like this.”
“Exotic birth . . .? What do you …m ... m ... mean, Fiona? Tell me please?”
“No William not exotic, but ectopic and that means the child is born outside of the mother’s womb. It is rare but unfortunately it does happen.”
“But Maya ... what is … h ... h ...happening to Maya now. Can I go and s ... s ... see her?” William pleaded like a child and Fiona put her arms around him.
“My darling,” she said having uttered the words before she realized what she had said ... “William darling, Maya herself bled profusely and the surgeons couldn’t save her either. Her placenta ruptured, you see and she died within minutes of the child being born . . .”
“Placenta ... placenta ... what is that Fiona? I’d ... d ... don’t understand.”
Fiona looked around the room hoping for some possible explanation to such an awkward question.
“The placenta ... well, it’s a circular organ in the uterus of pregnant woman which nourishes and maintains the foetus through the umbilical cord ... and this is ordinarily expelled from the womb after birth. It is no longer functional after the birth, you see.”
William stared at Fiona in silence for a few moments before he let out a horrific scream and started to dance around the room.
“I don’t understand a … w ... w ... w ... word of what you are … s ... s ... saying Fiona ... I only know that I love her. I love Maya. I loved her m ... m ... m ... more than anyone would know,” he cried, “I … n ... n ... not only loved her, I adored her. She was m ... m ... my life Fiona and she meant everything to me ... C ... c … Can you understand that?”
Any exuberance about a new born baby in the family and any joy she could have shared with her mother and her mother’s new partner went out the window as William spoke. Fiona sat biting her nails and wondering what she could tell William in order to give him some sort of consolation . . . Perhaps she had been too radical in her explanation of what had happened . . . but she found it difficult to explain when she was dealing with such a delicate subject as childbirth and when you don’t exactly know what the other person knows about the subject either ... especially William Bright and childbirth. She already had alerted him that she had news for him that afternoon, but things had happened so quickly and the news had changed so drastically, that she wished then that she hadn’t asked William to come to see her that same day … It would have been easier, even if only slightly, if she had delayed William’s visit, but by the time she thought about that it was too late ... and what was worse, when some time later that afternoon, she had telephoned Gardner to tell him the latest news and to ask if William’s court order could be rescinded, or adjusted in some way, to allow him to go to the hospital, but Gardner wasn’t sure himself what could be done in the circumstances.
“It would be O.K. I think ... If the baby was being born, but as it is, it may be a bit too late for that and anyway, we can’t be sure that the baby was his, can we?”
Fiona wanted to assure Gardner that the baby was indeed William’s but she couldn’t go into all the detail that she and her mother had so recently discussed and beside, Reggie Garner being a man wouldn’t want to hear the facts as Maya described them.
“I think we can be sure that William IS the father,” was all she would say and hoped Gardner would accept that explanation and do what he could to help William go to the hospital, but her fears were unfounded because a few minutes later the telephone rang again for Gardner to confirm that there would be no trouble if William went to the hospital and now that Maya was dead, there was even less of a problem for the visit. William was just approaching his twenty- third year and had been with Maya for the last three years.
Chapter Twenty-One
MAYA lay in the hospital bed with her tiny bundle cradled in her arms as William approached. He stood still for a few seconds before he broke down and Fiona had to guide him to a chair.
“Will you be going to the morgue later, Sir?” a voice could be heard above an ambulance alert sounding outside the building and Fiona intervened to tell the nurse that all they wanted to do at that moment was to remain with Maya and her love child as long as they could. Fiona tried to comfort William as best she knew how, but he was inconsolable. He sat wailing like a child, pulling his knees up to his chin and crying like a baby.
“I ... I can’t stand it,�
�� he screamed and Fiona put her arms around him, but nothing would suffice. He threw her away from him as if she was the cause of all his heartache, but Fiona understood and let him be, as she turned again towards the nurse who was still standing by the side of the bed.
“Will you be taking my mother to the morgue later?” she enquired, “Or will we be able to take her home with us?”
“In a little while after the doctor has made his final examination we will know what’s happening,” the nurse confirmed, “You see, in cases like this, the pathologist has to make the final examination and then we will let you know what can be done. The morgue is usually only for people who die and who have no relatives to claim the body or if there is any reason why the pathologist may want to do a post mortem.”
William stared at the nurse as if she was mad before he opened his mouth and roared like a lion.
“There is no … r ... r ... reason for any more examinations, surely. My … d ... d ... darling has been mucked about enough and …I w ... w ... w ... want to take her home NOW.” Fiona tried to console him but again he brushed her aside. “Sh ... sh ... sh ... she is my darling; my love and I want to t ... t ... t ... take her home with me,” he insisted and the nurse went off to get the pathologist.
Ten minutes later, they were allowed to take the body for burial and Fiona arranged this with the undertaker, where she selected a coffin where mother and daughter would be buried together.
The funeral took place two days later with William standing erect by the open coffin to look for the last time at his beloved and their beautiful daughter as, Billy-Boy could see nothing but beauty in the poor little mite that he had helped to produce and which resembled nothing more a little piece of liver. He stood still for a short while before he took out his violin from its case and placed it carefully under his chin, stretching his arm full length with the bow. Fiona watched in amazement. She anticipated what William was going to play with complete accuracy as she knew the piece so well herself and had often accompanied other violinists in the past, on the piano and felt as William did, that it was totally adequate for the occasion. This was a young man in complete control of what he was doing as he began to play the Adagio from Bach’s violin concerto in E major and Fiona smiled in recognition of the piece she knew so well, nevertheless it brought tears to her eyes and what happened after the violin stopped playing surprised and stunned her even more. Young William put his instrument back into its case, with a very resolute movement and made the Sign of the Cross over Maya, before he removed a ring from the third finger of his left hand and transferred the gold band to hers.
“We are married now, my love,” he said solemnly and without the slightest trace of a stammer as the undertaker placed the lid over the top of the coffin.
Chapter Twenty-Two
IT WAS nearly six months since William had been released from his community service of eighty days and eight months since Maya’s death and he was glad of that ... not the death of Maya, but time heals all wounds, or so he had heard often enough and of that he was content and also the fact that he didn’t have to wear that awful tag on his ankle any more. That was indeed a penance. He felt dirty when he was wearing it and even when he went for a bath, the damned thing was still attached to him and he could do nothing about it. Fiona had been very kind during that time and explained everything to him that he failed to understand. He had never heard of an ectopic pregnancy before and any use the placenta had on a pregnant woman, was double Dutch to him. It was only when Fiona explained the function of this thing and how it had burst, that he understood the reason for Maya’s untimely death, nevertheless he felt guilty about the Will ... as he considered everything should have gone to Fiona. William hadn’t expected anything, but Maya had left her entire estate to Fiona and himself, unreservedly. It was so unusual to have money of such magnitude to him and he decided the best way to use it was to open a school for violinists and he would try to get admission to the Royal College of Music to get his degree in teaching. The school would be dedicated to Maya. It would bear her name. It was to be his dream ... The Maya Broomfield School of music.
This was a dream that haunted him and Fiona was only sad that she didn’t have any part in it, but when William visited Maya’s flat in Muswell Hill with Fiona, to dispose of anything that they thought necessary, he had a shock that he hadn’t anticipated.
Fiona approached him only after they had been in the flat for a few minutes.
“I suppose you had better check the bedroom ... and I’ll take the lounge,” she said. “There is more of your stuff in there, I should imagine,” she said, thinking of the bundle of letters she had seen there not so long ago, in the chest of drawers, but she did not want to draw William’s attention directly to that, as he would then know that she had seen them.
William moved slowly towards the bedroom and Fiona watched him as he went. He looked at everything except the chest of drawers and she wondered if he already knew of the letters and where Maya had stacked them. Perhaps he thought she had burned them as he had so often told her she should, but within a short time, he leaned on the offending cabinet and sighed heavily as he studied the bed.
“I don’t know what I should be looking for in here, Fiona,” he called out. “I have a few shirts and things in the wardrobe, but most of the stuff there is Maya’s and could probably go to some charity or other, what do you think?”
“Yes, I guess you might be right, but have a good look around in case there is something there that you might want to keep yourself . . . Some keepsake, for example. Have you looked in the drawers?”
William moved his arm from where he had been resting on the chest of drawers and looked at the furniture with disinterest, before he opened the top drawer and rummaged around to see if there was anything he might want. It was only when he opened the second drawer that his eyes lit up. He recognised the writing on the envelope as he looked quickly into the lounge to see if Fiona had noticed what he had found, but she had disappeared from sight and he gathered she had gone into the bathroom. He stuffed the letters into the pocket of his coat and opened each of the other drawers in turn, but apart from some underwear, both his and Maya’s . . . there was nothing further that would interest him.
“Are you there, Fiona?” he called out and she answered him from the bathroom.
“Yes ... Just having a look at some of mother’s perfumes. She certainly had some taste there I can see . . . nothing that I could afford anyway. Would you mind if I took a few of these, William?”
William yawned and hoped that Fiona hadn’t thought he had found anything of great interest as he assured her that she should take what she wanted from the bathroom and that he was pleased that she should do so, but as he did so, something came to his mind and he returned once more to the chest of drawers. It was something that he had remembered seeing just beside the envelope with the letters, but it hadn’t seemed to be of any importance at first, until he thought again. It was a small notebook, like a diary with a leather cover and it had Maya’s name on the front cover in gold letters. William studied it carefully, wondering if he should dare look into the notebook as it definitely was not his, but his curiosity got the better of him and he stuffed it into his pocket with his first find. After about an hour, he and Fiona left the flat, having decided what was to go to charity and what could be thrown out as rubbish. All that had to be done then was to sell the flat …and less than two months later that was done and William stayed on with Fiona in her flat until he could find a studio to teach his violin, or to wait to find if he was to be admitted at the Royal College of Music.
Fiona put the key in her flat door and raised her eyebrows as if she had anticipated some great surprise.
“Are you happy about this decision, William?” she asked and turned towards her friend to get his response, but as always with William he was silent for a few moments before he answered and what surprised Fi
ona more than the ‘waiting period’ was the total loss of his stammer again as he spoke so clearly to her.
“Do you mean my staying at your flat for the time being?” he asked and she nodded enthusiastically. As far as Fiona was concerned, William could stay at her flat as long as he liked ... and she wished, he would notice her a little more in that time of his stay.
“Yes, I would appreciate your kindness, if I may,” he said and assured her that it would only be until he was able to move out to his own place and that he would only stay if she allowed him to pay his way, which before he had inherited Maya’s money, he was unable to do, but Fiona waved the money question aside and told him he was welcome to stay at her flat for as long as he wanted, but in her heart, she wished he would just stay with her ... without any mention of time.
“I’m making tea now. Do you want something?” she asked, but William was anxious to have some time on his own to study his letters from Maya’s flat and also to investigate a little further into her monographic diary ... He declined Fiona’s offer, telling her that he intended to go out later and then he would find some little cafe or other where he would get a bite to eat. Fiona shrugged her shoulders and accepted the rebuff, but earnestly wishing he would spend the evening with her.
Later when William was alone in his room, he opened the envelope containing the letters; letters that he had written and which caused him more grief now than it did joy when he wrote them, not so long ago,
My dearest darling ... He screwed the letter up and threw it into the waste bin by the side of his bed, before taking out a second one. My dearest and most tender love ... William dried his eyes as he turned to the second page of the letter ignoring what he had written at the beginning. “It is always a joy and a pleasure for me to be with you. I count the moments when we are apart and wish time would stop when I am by your side. The letter ended with many kisses and an unusual word, which looked as if it had been a misspelling and that only he and Maya knew. It was something they knew well and understood and they hoped that no one else would invade their privacy. William sighed and a little smile crossed his lips as he shoved the letter into his pocket. He remembered well the moment he had written that letter to Maya. That was the day he had tried on her knickers and made her laugh. He knew he looked ridiculous. The damn things would only allow for one of his legs and nothing more, but it was on a day when Maya was particularly low about something and he had tried to cheer her up. The bra didn’t fit either . . .