“Hey, girl. Are you ready?” Roxanne’s voice cut through the funk I’d been in since leaving Kody’s place the night before.
Lowell had even asked me when I went to visit him on my way home what was wrong. I couldn’t answer him because I was trying to figure out the reason. I should’ve been screaming at the top of my lungs that I’d had the best darn sex on the Eastern seaboard. Mack had wowed me, but Kody had blown my freaking mind. His body was sculpted as though he was training for a weightlifting competition, but he was more than a hot bod. He was tender, rough, attentive, and talkative, asking me what I wanted. Mack had never asked me what I wanted.
My cheeks reddened when Roxanne walked into the bathroom. She smiled, her brown gaze assessing me. I hadn’t seen her all day. She wasn’t on shift when I’d picked up Lowell that morning. When I’d spoken to her around lunchtime, I’d only asked if she was game to go to The Cave that night to hear me sing. I’d thought long and hard about singing and had decided to give Kody’s suggestion a try and listen to my own voice so I could hear for myself whether my voice was any good. I needed moral support, and Roxanne was my biggest cheerleader. However, I hadn’t told her about my romp in the hay with Kody since I’d been with Lowell all day.
“You look amazing,” I said.
Her black jeans hugged her curvy hips, right down to her ankle boots. A soft peach peekaboo blouse clung to her big breasts, and her makeup was done to perfection.
She waggled her eyebrows. “Not so bad yourself. An up-and-coming star, if you ask me.”
The word “star” made me flinch a little. I’d never dreamed about singing. I didn’t feel as though I was any good. I rolled my eyes at her before zeroing in on my outfit in the mirror. I’d decided to wear something simple—jeans rolled up at the ankles, sandals with two-inch heels, and a red V-neck cotton shirt that showed a little bit of cleavage. As soon as my gaze landed on my breasts, I turned and slumped against the sink.
Roxanne held out her hands. “What’s wrong? Lowell is doing great. I just saw him downstairs, and you’re about to have Kody record you.”
Lowell’s blood tests had come back normal with the exception of his glucose. He’d had low levels of sugar. But once he’d eaten, his glucose levels returned to normal. So Dr. Navar concluded that Lowell’s low sugar and lack of fluids had caused him to seize and lose consciousness.
I grabbed my breasts. “These are what’s wrong. I love my breasts. I love feeling the sensation of a guy sucking on them. I won’t ever feel that again if I go through with the surgery.”
She furrowed her pretty eyebrows. “You don’t know that. You have options. By the way, did you get ahold of that woman, Ms. Harold?”
Roxanne was right. I’d read several cases on blogs and other websites in which women have had implants, reconstructive surgery, or chosen to just wear a prosthetic. The only option that resulted in a chance to feel any sensation in the nipples was the reconstructive surgery, but even then, it wasn’t a guarantee.
I puffed out my cheeks. “I sent her an email this morning.” I hoped that hearing Ms. Harold’s story would help me with my own decision. “I’m getting ahead of myself, I know. But after last night—”
She pressed her red lips into a thin line. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with Mack.”
“Kody.”
She squealed then slapped a hand over her mouth. “For real? I want to hear everything before we leave this bathroom.” She backed up and sat on the edge of the tub.
“He’s freaking amazing.” I sighed. “He is everything I imagined. The way he played my body as though he was strumming his guitar. The way he kisses.” I let out another dreamy sigh. “When he looks at me, I feel like I’m the most beautiful person in the room, and he’s only looking at me. I’ve never had that feeling with any guy. Not only that, the pull toward him is strong. It’s as though I belong with him.”
She inhaled deeply. “So you’re pouting because you might fall for him, and you feel that he wouldn’t accept you if you decided to have the surgery?”
I lifted a shoulder. “Something like that. Plus, he hates motorcycles.”
She huffed. “So the heck what if he hates motorcycles. I don’t like them either, but I love you, anyway.”
The difference between Roxanne and Kody was that Kody had experienced a loss from a motorcycle accident. Roxanne hadn’t.
Lowell’s accident had made me consider giving up on motorcycles altogether. But I hadn’t for a few reasons. For one, I wasn’t on a racing team, competing at death-defying speeds around a track like Lowell had been when he’d gotten into the accident. Two, I only rode on occasion. And three, I was a firm believer that when my time was up, fate would take over. Lowell had agreed with me even though he worried when I got on my Ducati.
“Please do me a favor,” Roxanne said. “Set up your appointment for your mammogram. Get that out of the way. Those test results will put you at ease for now. Then talk to Ms. Harold. By the way, how did it go with Mr. Maxwell?”
I snagged my lip gloss off the counter and smeared some on my lips. “He encouraged me to tell Lowell.”
“I agree. You can’t keep this from him, Jess.”
“I’m afraid he’ll stress out more and end up in the hospital again.”
Rising, she stuck her hands on her hips and gave me one of her you better or I will looks.
“I need time to process all this.”
“Fair enough. Now let’s go see that hunky man of yours.” She giggled.
I laughed along with her as we headed downstairs.
Lowell and Mack were lounging in the family room. Mack had been working in the shop all day on the few bikes that had come in for tune-ups. Lowell had been successful in getting Mack to help out, and in exchange, Lowell would pay him when business picked up. But according to Lowell, Mack didn’t want a dime. “You’re a great friend, and I owe you,” Mack had said. “You took me under your wing all those years ago. It’s time I give back.”
I wasn’t shocked at all at Mack’s response. Despite all his faults, he was a sweet guy, and I knew he would do anything for us. Yet I didn’t want to even think of the tension between him and Kody or what would happen if Mack found out I’d slept with Kody or was dating Kody. Then again, it wasn’t any of Mack’s business.
I kissed my brother on the cheek. “Are you feeling okay?”
He shoved his messy curls from his face. “Go and have a good time.”
I eyed Mack. He’d shaven the scruff off his face, reminding me of that young teenage boy I’d met so long ago. Mack diverted his attention from the TV to me and grinned.
Roxanne tipped her head at the door.
I circled around Lowell’s chair to the back of the couch, and squeezed Mack’s shoulders from behind. “Thank you for picking up the slack today.”
He touched my hand. “You know I would do anything for you and Lowell. Have fun tonight singing. Don’t worry about this knucklehead, either. I got him.”
I whipped my head at Lowell. “You told him?”
Lowell lifted a shoulder. “Mack is family. So what that you’re singing. It’s not like you’re dating Maxwell. Besides, doesn’t Mr. Robinson own a record label? Maybe he’ll sign you.”
Roxanne pressed her lips together.
I could correct Lowell since Kody and I would be going out on a date. But one date wouldn’t constitute a serious relationship, and until that time, I didn’t see any sense in saying anything, particularly with Mack in the room. I had to say I was a little surprised that Mack wasn’t mumbling or mouthing off about Kody.
“Come on,” Roxanne said.
As soon as I was in Roxanne’s car, I blew out a breath.
She started the engine. “Maybe Mack’s turning over a new leaf.”
“Maybe.” I wasn’t totally convinced by Mack’s nonchalant attitude about me spending time with Kody. His body had gone rigid at the mention of Maxwell.
Fifteen minutes later, Roxanne and I were ringi
ng the bell to the backdoor of The Cave. I’d texted Kody at lunch, telling him I would meet him at The Cave and that Roxanne would be tagging along.
Mr. Robinson answered the door, rubbing the stubble on his face. “Ah, we’ve been waiting for you.”
Suddenly, the pesky nerves grated on me. Kody hadn’t said anything about Mr. Robinson being part of this gig.
Roxanne bumped her shoulder against mine.
I clutched the strap of my purse. “Um, maybe this was a bad idea.”
Mr. Robinson’s green eyes searched mine. “Jessie, you have no reason to be frightened. There’s no big crowd like that night you sang. Frankly, if you sang in front of all those people, then you can sing for the four of us.”
Then something occurred to me. “Did you ask Kody to bring me here tonight?” Mr. Robinson didn’t strike me as the type of man who would have someone else do his bidding.
“I did not. When Kody told me you were going to sing, I made it a point to be here. You’re that good, Jessie. Kody’s right. You need to hear yourself sing.”
Roxanne pushed me inside. “She’ll sing, sir.”
“Are you my manager?” I asked her in a shaky voice.
“I will be if Mr. Robinson signs you.”
Mr. Robinson let out a laugh behind us.
My head was spinning from how a deal with Kody was turning into a possible deal with a record producer.
Roxanne and I walked into a large storage room. The space was stacked with boxes of liquor, beer, and other necessities, along with a large restaurant-type refrigerator and a huge ice machine. I could hear the faint sound of someone playing music beyond the swinging door.
Once we were in the club, the soft haunting melody pulled me toward the stage. When I laid eyes on Kody, I became mesmerized at how his fingers glided over the piano keys as he sang. His speaking voice had a way of drawing me to him, but his singing was more captivating than I’d heard from even Jake’s brother, JJ, who was the lead singer of Zeal.
“This is his new song,” Mr. Robinson said at my side in an excited tone. “Kody has had writer’s block for some time. That song he’s singing, he wrote last night.”
Jake was seated in a chair at the edge of the stage, hunched over a laptop.
Roxanne leaned in and whispered, “Maybe you were his inspiration.”
I wondered if she was right.
Kody was so into his song that he hadn’t even looked up. I crossed my arms over my chest as I listened to the words.
I’ve drifted through the days, thinking of you. I’ve wandered through the fields, wondering what could’ve been. You were the one who touched my soul. You gave me love. A chance to feel again. Come play with me. Tease me. Tempt me. Dare me to live again.
He’d certainly given me a chance to feel again and to feel things I’d never felt with a man.
“Beautiful,” Roxanne said.
“It would be better with a female voice.” Mr. Robinson directed his comment at me.
I agreed, but I wasn’t sure I was the female voice to do that song justice. I pictured someone like Faith Hill belting out those amazing words.
Kody lifted his fingers off the keys, closed his eyes, and took in a breath before he turned toward us. I waved.
He unfolded himself and swaggered over, his long denim-encased legs eating up the floor. The closer he got, the more his grin widened, and the more a butterfly winged wildly inside my belly.
Jake tried to say something to him, but Kody had one person in his sights. When he reached me, he smacked his lips on mine, not even caring that Mr. Robinson or Roxanne was standing next to us.
Mr. Robinson chuckled, Jake whistled, and Roxanne sighed.
“Thank you,” Kody said.
Now I was the one to sigh and melt at his feet. “For what?”
“You came.” Then he asked Mr. Robinson, “What did you think?”
Mr. Robinson regarded me. “You’re right. Jessie’s voice and that song will be a hit.”
Kody’s face lit up as though he’d hit the jackpot. Maybe he had. I also noticed that he seemed more relaxed and that despair he’d had when I’d first met him was no longer there.
Then something occurred to me. Whoa! I raised my hands. “Time-out. I’m not Faith Hill or Sarah or any of those amazing voices.”
Mr. Robinson chuckled. “You let us be the judge of that.”
“Jess,” Roxanne said my name in warning. “Give it a try. So what if you’re not any good. At least you can say you tried.”
I hated and loved my best friend.
Everyone was staring at me, but Kody was sporting his puppy-dog eyes.
I craned my neck up at him. “Do you always use that pouty look to get your way?”
“Usually,” Kody said.
My heart rate was all over the place with nerves, excitement, and apprehension. I had agreed to sing, but I’d assumed I would be singing a song I knew, and I wasn’t sure I could do better than Kody. I chewed on my bottom lip. The sooner I got this over with, the sooner Kody and I could get out of there and hang out or make out.
“Can you play the piano while I sing?” That way, I didn’t have the pressure of trying to learn a new song on the piano and singing at the same time.
Kody’s pouting was kind of sexy, but when he smiled from ear to ear, my heart fluttered endlessly, even more so when he clutched my hand, sending all kinds of electricity through me. As we padded over to the piano, I lost all train of thought.
Roxanne and Mr. Robinson lugged chairs over to Jake. The three of them settled in, while Kody and I sat down at the piano. He had his sheet music in front of him. I was in awe that he had written this song the night before.
I rubbed my hands on my legs. “So was I your inspiration?”
He grabbed my hand. “Yeah.”
Goose bumps popped up all over me. I’d never inspired anyone, or at least not that I knew of.
“Kody, let’s have Jess start in C sharp major instead of G. I think that will sound better,” Jake said.
“Good choice,” Mr. Robinson said.
That note was better for my voice, anyway.
Kody nodded. “Get lost in the song. It will help your nerves.”
I had to give him points for knowing I was nervous. I wasn’t shaking. I wasn’t fidgeting. Yet somehow he knew I was anxious.
I scanned the sheet music several times as I sang the words in my head. “Okay. I’m ready.” Not in the least. But I would try to let myself get lost in the song. It also helped that Kody was next to me. I had that same safe feeling I’d had when he was holding me at the hospital. I almost felt as though I could do anything with Kody at my side.
When he pressed the keys, I started in with Let’s chase a fallen star. Let’s catch fireflies in my backyard. Let’s feel the rush of the wind at our faces. Let’s take a chance on us. I continued to sing all three verses and ended with the chorus. Come play with me. Tease me. Tempt me. Dare me to live again.
When the song ended, I realized tears were trickling down my face. The lyrics tore me to pieces.
Kody found my trembling hands. “That was fucking amazing.”
I thought I’d done a good job, but the true test was the audience. I swung my gaze to Jake, Mr. Robinson, and Roxanne. Jake and Mr. Robinson were bobbing their heads, grinning. Roxanne was dashing away a tear.
“So now can we go out on our date?” I asked.
Everyone laughed. I was serious.
“Not until you listen to yourself,” Kody said. “Come on.”
We joined the other three as Jake tapped keys on the laptop. Then my voice came out of the standing speakers. I eased down onto the edge of the stage, fidgeting with my nails as I listened. It was surreal to hear my own voice. Sure, I could hear myself when I sang, but I didn’t sound as good as what I was hearing now.
When my voice faded, Kody asked, “Well, Jess? Do you now know why I’ve been trying to get you to sing?”
Roxanne shook her head at me. “You ar
e special, girl. I always knew you were good, but with that song, you’re great. Are you going to sign her, Mr. Robinson?”
“Roxanne,” I said. Suddenly, my mind was swimming with the possibility that he could sign me, and that started to excite me. The lightheaded feeling I had when I sang was almost as good as the wind in my face and the feeling of freedom I had when I rode my motorcycle. Yet I had to keep things real. I had a great job, and my brother needed me.
Mr. Robinson scratched the side of his nose. “Would you consider cutting a demo on that song?” he asked me. “We can record it in my studio.”
Jake and Kody’s eyes grew wide.
“Yes,” Roxanne said.
I gave her a pointed look before I regarded Mr. Robinson. “I can’t go to LA.”
“You wouldn’t have to,” he said. “The office for my new label is in Boston. Still, I have a small studio at my house here in Ashford, which is where we’ll start.”
“Jessie,” Jake said. “I’ve been around this industry for most of my life, and I haven’t heard a voice like yours. You have this soft raspy tone, and your pitch is spot-on.”
I hopped up and set my sights on Kody, who was standing next to Roxanne’s chair. “What’s your two cents?” My tone was calm even though I wanted to puke.
He angled his head, and an emotion I couldn’t quite put my finger on washed over him. “I’m not going to push you. My goal tonight was for you to hear your own voice. My question to you is what do you think of your voice?”
All eyes were on me. I’d expected that question from Mr. Robinson more than Kody.
I swallowed the ball of fur in my throat. “When I sing, I don’t hear myself like that voice coming out of the speakers. I’m not one to brag about myself, but that voice”—I pointed to the speaker—“was really good.”
Everyone laughed.
“But I still think I could do better,” I said.
Mr. Robinson nodded. “You’re special, Jessie. Not many people would say that about themselves. I agree. We do need to practice a bit before we record the song. So is it a yes?”
The Maxwell Series Boxed Set - Books 4-6 Page 42