“We just want to talk to Donovan,” I said.
Lowell’s expression turned dark. “Like hell you do.”
Donovan’s nostrils flared wide as he worked on the motorcycle.
Kade blew past Lowell and into the garage. Donovan shot to his feet with a wrench in his hand.
I flew up to my brother, slid in between Donovan and Kade, then pushed Kade back a few feet.
Lowell wheeled in. “Come on, guys. Fighting isn’t going to solve anyone’s problems.”
Maybe not, but I would feel exhilaration when I rammed my fists into Donovan’s gut or kicked him in the ribs like he had done to me in high school.
Donovan bared his teeth at me. “I should’ve finished you when I had the chance.”
Wrench or no wrench, he and I would settle our feud once and for all. But instead of getting in his face, I growled like an animal, tensing every muscle in my body, hoping he would strike first. That way, I wouldn’t feel so bad breaking my promise to my mom. You would piss off Jessie, though. For the moment, I took comfort in knowing she wasn’t there.
Donovan’s features tightened, his dark eyes forming into slits as his knuckles whitened around the wrench.
We were at a standoff with Kade and me glaring at Donovan.
Lowell’s voice broke that thread that connected the three of us. “Mack, I’m guessing you didn’t call Kody like I asked you to.”
I took a step back as I continued to think of Jessie. I didn’t want to disappoint her any more than I wanted to disappoint my mom.
Kade grabbed the back of his shoulder, a sign my brother was doing everything in his power not to kick the fuck out of Donovan.
Donovan spit. “I don’t owe them anything.”
Fucking wrong thing to say.
Kade lunged at Donovan, stopping a half inch from his face.
Any spectator witnessing the scene that was about to go down would have bet on Donovan winning. The dude was massive and had that tattoo, body-piercing persona that screamed he could crush a person in two seconds flat. But I knew my brother. I knew that when he was angry, his strength far outweighed any man larger than him. I’d seen him in action with Kross, and Kross was broader in the chest than Kade. Sure, Kross had quick reflexes for a boxer, but when Kade and Kross sparred in the ring, Kade was the better fighter.
Kade breathed fire at Donovan. “Either you make a point to visit my mother and tell her you’re sorry for practically throwing her to the ground, or I will make certain you are laid up in a hospital for quite a long time.”
Donovan stuck out his chest, almost pushing Kade backward. “You’re still the asshole that you were in high school. You’re still fighting his battles.” He stabbed a finger at me. “All of you talk a big game, but you’ll never act on anything.”
He must’ve forgotten that Kross and I put Sullivan in the hospital.
“Guys,” Lowell’s voice was lethal. “Back the fuck off each other.”
In a flash, Kade’s fist connected with Donovan’s nose. A bone cracked, and blood oozed out.
Donovan raised his hand, ready to swing that wrench at Kade’s head. I jumped and shoved Kade out of the way. When I did, the wrench hit my ear. I saw stars, bright ones, as pain ricocheted down my neck.
“Fuck,” Lowell said.
Suddenly, something far greater than rage overpowered the pain as that night so long ago came roaring back faster than a shooting comet. Every ounce of revenge I had in me was closed into my fists, ready to unleash a power that I hadn’t felt since I’d beaten the crap out of Greg Sullivan.
I tackled Donovan, and the metal tool clanged to the cement floor. We rolled around, punching each other, grunting, until he pinned me down, his weight anchoring my back to the ground. I tried to kick up and pull my arms free, but the dude was strong.
His fat knuckles were inches from my face, when a loud female voice screamed, “Mack!”
We stared at each other while Jessie continued to shriek at both of us.
Donovan scrambled to his feet, pulling on his hair.
I briefly closed my eyes and stilled.
Fuck.
I hadn’t wanted Jessie to see me lose my shit again. I needed to leave. Being there only served to raise the dead—that dead being Mandy. I was spiraling back to the past. Hell, I was living in the past. Yeah, it was definitely time to talk to a professional again, or my old man.
Kade extended his hand, hauling me to my feet.
“What the hell is going on?” Jessie asked with rage pouring off her as she stood with her hands on her hips, just inside the shop, next to her brother.
I brushed off my clothes and my pride. “Nothing.”
“Nothing my ass,” she said in her sexy voice that had a way of quieting my temper. She whirled on Donovan. “I take it you didn’t make an effort to visit their mom.”
Donovan jutted out his chin. “You’re siding with these bozos? We have history together, Jess. I’m part of your family.”
She pointed a finger at him. “Yes, you’re family to Lowell and me, but the fact still remains you need to apologize to their mom. That’s what adults do. We’re not in high school anymore.” She swung her gaze to me. “And you, Kody. The next time you show up, looking for a fight with Mack, I’ll call the cops. I don’t have time for schoolyard brawls, and neither does Lowell.”
I almost said there wouldn’t be a next time because I couldn’t tolerate seeing Donovan in the same room as her. I couldn’t hear that she considered Donovan family, and if he were going to be in her life in any capacity, then I was certainly not taking that road to get serious with her.
I only had one major problem—my fucking heart. The more I saw Jessie, even from afar, the more I wanted her in my life. I wanted to be the guy who made her big brown eyes light up when I walked into a room. I wanted to be the one who snuggled with her at night and kissed her when she woke up in the morning. But Jessie and I would never be anything more than friends unless I could close the door to the past.
“Did you hear me?” Jessie’s voice quieted the war in my head.
Her arms were crossed over her large breasts. Her tricolored hair spilled down her back, and her eyes were filled with something greater than anger, as though a storm brewed deep within her and she’d finally decided to open the gates. Her body language said, “Fuck with me, and I’ll fuck with you.” Her feistiness was a nice change from seeing her in tears.
Regardless, mad or not, the woman was downright beautiful. Suddenly, the tension I’d harbored changed course, morphing into awe and regret and so much more. I would gladly take whatever it was she wanted to set free or let her use me as her punching bag. After all, I deserved it.
“I’m sorry, Jess,” I said. Then I nailed a hard look on Donovan, hoping he would get the message that it was okay to admit when you’d done something wrong. It didn’t make me less of a person.
“Kody,” Kade said. “Let’s get out of here. No amount of anything will convince Donovan to apologize to Mom.”
Lowell cleared his throat as he wheeled closer to Mack. “You’re a great friend, but do the right thing.”
A muscle jumped along Donovan’s jaw. “Or what?”
“Or don’t bother showing up for work tomorrow,” Lowell said.
Kade and I exchanged surprised looks.
“You’re siding with them?” Mack asked in horror. “After all these years and all the help I’ve been to you, bro, you want to play that card?”
“What would you have done if the tables were turned and Kody shoved your mom or even my mom?” Lowell asked evenly. “If my mom were here, she would be counseling you the same.” His tone dropped. “I’m not taking anyone’s side, either. Mrs. Maxwell was just trying to help your drunken ass last Sunday.”
Jessie laid a hand on her brother’s shoulder.
Donovan stalked up to them, blood caking under his nose. “Family is supposed to stick together.” Then he marched out to his SUV.
“Mack,” Lowell called. “One
more thing. If you decide to apologize to Mrs. Maxwell, then make sure you’re doing it because you want to, not because we want you to.”
Donovan hopped into his SUV and peeled out of the driveway.
I ambled over to Jessie, rubbing my ear, which was now throbbing like a motherfucker. “Will you forgive me?”
She huffed. “I’ve been torn up about Mack showing up at your house drunk and what he did to your mom. You seem to be holding that over my head. If you don’t want anything to do with me, then make sure it’s because you’re not attracted to me and not because of your feud with Mack. I’ve told you several times that I’m not interested in Mack. I’m interested in you. Sure, I’ve been a little moody and out of sorts. But I have my reasons.” She gave Lowell a sad look.
“We’re broke,” Lowell said. “We’re trying to make ends meet, which was why I stressed out and ended up in the hospital.”
That would certainly explain Jessie’s moods and why she’d been crying on several occasions. I hung my head. I was only making her life worse.
“Mack isn’t a bad guy,” Lowell said. “I get the animosity you have for him. Coming at him with your guns barreling is not the way to get him to listen. If I may say, you owe him an apology for ganging up on him.”
He wasn’t wrong. I just wasn’t ready to play that card.
Kade slapped a hand on my back. “We shouldn’t have brought both of you into our fight with Donovan. We are sorry.”
I placed a hand over my still-throbbing ear. I needed ice, a drink, and to get out of there. I felt like a moron.
Jessie pried my hand from my ear. “Oh my God. You need ice on that before it swells more.” The salt in her tone melted to sugar.
One whiff of her coconut scent gave me the urge to bury my face in her hair and bottle up her essence. “I’m good. I’ll get ice on it when I get home. Let Donovan know that my dad tuned up his motorcycle and he can pick it up anytime.”
Lowell angled his head. “Your dad is into motorcycles?”
“He was when he was younger. Harleys only, though,” Kade added.
“Seriously,” Jessie chimed in. “Please stop this feud with Mack. I really don’t want to see anyone land in the hospital. I see enough blood and pain daily. I’m sure your mom would agree.”
Before my brain could catch up with my body, my arms were around Jessie, maybe because she’d brought up my mom. “You and Lowell are right.” Somehow, before I could settle anything with Donovan, I had to come to terms with what Donovan had done to me. It was definitely time to seek counsel from my dad.
Snuggling into my chest, Jessie wrapped her arms around my waist. “Let me at least get you a bag of frozen vegetables for the ride home.”
I broke away. “Sure.”
The minute she grasped my hand, an electrical charge seemed to connect us, untying the knot that had formed inside my stomach. “Come with me. Kade, we won’t be long.”
Kade nodded before he and Lowell launched into a discussion on Harleys.
Jessie and I strolled down a tree-lined path, hand in hand, to a two-story home directly ahead. A squirrel sat underneath a tree, frozen until we passed. Then he darted up the trunk, leaves rustling in his wake.
“Have you heard from Mr. Robinson yet?” she asked.
“No, but he said it would take him a week. Don’t worry. The man sticks to his word.”
She let go of my hand as she walked up the ramp to her porch. “I’m not worried. I am curious how much money I could make if he decided to sign us.”
I wasn’t broke, but I was also interested in how much Mr. Robinson would pay me. Nevertheless, my body warmed at her reference of us. “I will tell you that what a songwriter gets paid is quite different than what the performer gets paid.” That much I knew. “The record label is mandated by the federal government to pay songwriters a fixed rate per song sold.” I’d spent time researching the topic. The salary of a songwriter wasn’t as high as a performer, but I could still make a living.
“Mm.” She wiggled her hips into the house.
I followed her in until we were in the kitchen. “Jess, why didn’t you tell me when I came to pick you up for our date last week the reason you were upset?”
She opened the freezer. “Telling people Lowell and I are hanging on by a financial thread is rather embarrassing.”
She had a point, although if she’d been open with me, then I wouldn’t have pulled out my hair, thinking she was twisted over Donovan. But Donovan was still a problem.
Any thoughts of that asshole disappeared when the lush backyard out the sliding glass door caught my eye. Budding trees, colorful flowers, and a carpet of green grass gave the yard a serene and cozy feeling. I ventured out onto the small deck then down the stairs, until I was inhaling the floral lilac scent that hung in the air. Suddenly, my belly ached as though I had food poisoning. Mandy had had a yard full of lilacs.
“My mom loved working out here,” Jessie said just before she mashed a bag of frozen vegetables to my ear.
I flinched.
She snickered. “Sorry. But this will help the swelling.”
I grabbed hold of the ice pack, a welcome relief to the acid swishing around in my stomach.
Jessie sat down on the bottom step and began picking at a blade of grass. “I was hoping you and Mack would settle your differences, but I see now you can’t, and that makes me sad. I really like you, Kody. I haven’t felt this way about a man in a long time.” She lifted her head, and her soft expression was almost sad. “I know you want me as badly as I want you. I can feel it. I felt it the moment Raven introduced us. I felt it when we had sex. I felt it at your house for Sunday dinner.”
One side of my mouth went up at the mention of Raven, but my insides were now aching for a different reason. “Donovan loves you.”
“I know,” she said on a light breeze. “Again, I don’t love him the way he loves me. He’s a family friend, and he’s been in my life since we were teenagers. I’m not giving him up as a friend. I guess what I’m trying to say is I understand why we would never work. Besides, you need a whole woman, and I’m not her.”
My face scrunched in all directions if that were possible. “Explain that last part.”
She rose and ambled over to a lilac tree. “Lilacs were my mom’s favorite.”
I tossed the ice pack on the deck before my feet sank into the thick grass as I headed over to her, trying to make sense of what she’d meant by a whole woman. She sounded as though she was breaking up with me when, in fact, we weren’t dating. Sure, she was spot-on when she’d said I wanted her as badly as she wanted me. I wouldn’t deny that at all.
I gently grasped the sides of her arms and guided her to face me. Tears clouded her eyes. “Baby doll, talk to me. I’ve been honest with you.”
“Have you?”
“You know my feelings toward Donovan. Do you want to hear that I dream about you every night? Or that I want to be the guy who steals your breath when I walk into a room. Or that I feel connected to you in so many ways that I don’t understand.”
She flattened her hand on my chest. “Didn’t your sister, Karen, say the heart knows?”
I sucked in a sharp breath. My old man had definitely shared a lot with her, and hearing Karen’s name definitely hit a nerve. Nevertheless, we were talking about her and not me. “Jess, explain the whole woman part.”
She leaned back against the tree, and her hands trembled. “Would you still kiss me and hold me if my appearance changed?”
“Baby doll, you could have a sex-change operation, and I would still think you were beautiful.”
A tear slid down her cheek as her lower lip quivered.
Wow, I couldn’t even get her to smile at my statement. Whatever was eating at her had to be big. “Just tell me, Jess. I’m not easily scared.”
She sighed. “The other reason why you see me cry a lot is I found out that day you met me in the cafeteria that I tested positive for the breast cancer gene. My chances o
f developing breast cancer are extremely high, and I’ve been toying with having a double mastectomy. I don’t want to end up like my grandmother and my mom. But I want a family, a husband, and above all else, I don’t want to lose my identity.”
I tugged her to me. I couldn’t say I knew what she was going through. All I knew was I wanted to protect her and make all her sadness go away.
She sobbed.
“Breasts or no breasts, you will still be beautiful. Any man would be lucky to have you.”
She cried harder.
I edged back, tipping her chin upward. “I would be lucky to have you.”
“But you like my breasts.”
I chuckled. “I won’t deny that.” I smoothed a finger over her eyebrow piercing. “You can’t worry about what others think. You need to make your decision based on what you want and what’s right for you.” I loved breasts as much as the next man. I’d loved sucking on hers that mind-blowing night at my place. But whether she had real breasts, implants, or none, my feelings for her stemmed around her and not just a body part.
She wiped her nose. “Who are you, my psychiatrist?”
I lowered my head and brushed my lips over hers. “I have grown up with one.”
She smiled, and that stone wall around my beating heart cracked open—wide open.
“I want you, Jess. I can’t keep telling myself we won’t work because of Donovan.” Or that she would die on her motorcycle. Or that she could develop breast cancer. I couldn’t keep thinking like that. “I will fight for you if I have to.” Tentatively, I planted my lips on hers until she pressed her body against me.
For the first time in forever, I could see beyond my past. I could feel something far greater with Jessie than I had with Mandy.
Her hands slid up my shirt. The warmth of her skin on mine grounded me and gave me clarity, sharp and clear. This wasn’t lust, far from it. The steady bang of my pulse against my skin said she was mine, and no matter what roadblocks we came up against, we would deal with them together.
“I want to chase falling stars with you,” I whispered, gently peppering kisses all over her soft skin. “I want to catch fireflies with you.”
She moaned lightly as she crawled up my body.
The Maxwell Series Boxed Set - Books 4-6 Page 47