by Croix, J. H.
I barely absorbed what he said as I tapped in Lucy’s number. The phone rang once, and she answered right away.
“Hello,” she said, her tone choppy.
“Hey babe.”
“Levi?” she asked, her voice lilting at the end, my name coming out rushed and almost frantic.
So damn happy she wasn’t pissed that I called her babe, I laughed. “Of course, who did you think it was?”
“Well, this isn’t your number. And why are you laughing? I’ve been scared to death.”
“Hey, I thought you knew I was okay. Cade told me he called Amelia.”
All of the sudden, Lucy—tough Lucy who almost never let down her guard—burst into tears.
She cried with as much gusto as she’d told me to fuck off once upon a time. Her tears derailed me into silence for a moment.
I finally scrambled my thoughts together. “Lucy, are you okay?”
“No! I’m not okay, and it’s all your fault,” she said in between sniffles and messy breaths. “I love you, and…” Her words stopped with another loud sob.
“Lucy, Lucy,” I finally said. My heart felt as if it would burst, and I couldn’t quite believe she’d said what I thought she said.
“What?” she asked in return.
I heard a muffled sound and then her blowing her nose, rather loudly. “Sorry, I needed to blow my nose,” she explained, her breath was coming in short little gasps.
“Did I hear you right?” I asked after moment of silence.
“Which part?”
“The I love you part. Because I love you, so…”
She hiccupped and then burst into tears. Again.
“You heard me right, I love you,” she managed between breathy heaves and more sniffles. “I’m sorry I got all weird. I’m just so happy you’re okay. I was going to be really mad at the world if you weren’t.” She took a shaky breath, and I could feel her thinking through the phone. “I kinda dumped some heavy stuff the last time we talked. If you want to talk about it…”
“We don’t have to talk about anything unless you want to. I can’t say I’m glad you hung up on me, but I’m glad you told me everything. Let’s just focus on now for now. We’ll have plenty of time for talking later.”
She was quiet for a beat before the sound of a soft sigh filtered through the phone. “Okay. I miss you. When will you be home? I think Ham misses you too.”
I chuckled, my heart feeling so full, I thought it might burst. I was filthy, exhausted and hundreds of miles away from her, but I was happy.
I wished like hell she were right here with me.
“When will you be home?” she repeated.
“I don’t know yet,” I said with a chuckle.
Normally, I’d already know. I hadn’t even bothered to check in to find out if my crew was scheduled to return to the fire site, or if we’d be heading home soon. I glanced over to Cade who was still standing nearby. “Hey, do you know our return schedule yet?” I called over.
Cade shook his head. I returned to Lucy. “As soon as I know, I’ll call you, okay?”
Someone called my name, and I glanced over my shoulder to see the superintendent from one of the other crews waving me over.
“I gotta go, Lucy. You okay?”
“Uh huh. I’m fine. I just got overwhelmed,” she said with a sniffle.
It nearly tore me up to hear her cry, and I hated I wasn’t with her now.
“In case you were worried, I’ve taken very good care of Ham,” she said with a sniffly laugh.
I needed that laugh, if only because it let me know she was okay. I chuckled. “I wasn’t worried. You spoil him worse than me with the carrots.”
That got another laugh from her. “Okay. I guess you have to go.”
I held tight to the phone because I didn’t want to end this call. Cade nudged me on the shoulder. “I do. I’ll call when I have our schedule.” I paused, considering whether to say the words I wanted. They slipped out on their own. “Miss you.”
For a moment, I didn’t think she would reply, but she did. “Me too. Call me.”
* * *
Three long days later, I climbed into my car at the station, anxious to get home and see Lucy. The world had not followed my wishes. I’d wanted to fly home the same day we landed in Fairbanks, but it was a no go. They had our crew wait in case we needed to be sent out for another rotation. Though I knew it made sense given the travel logistics, I’d been chafing at the bit the whole damn time. The rain had been on my side though and put a damper on the fire, cutting the wait short. I hadn’t even known until this morning what time we were due to fly out.
A short drive later, my heart started drumming the moment I saw Lucy’s truck parked in front of the house. I rolled to a quick stop and was jogging up the stairs within seconds. When I opened the door, she was leaning over looking inside the oven. The sight of her lush bottom greeted me.
My cock stood at attention instantly. Much as I wanted her bare and tangled up with me, more than that I wanted to hold her close and just absorb the feel of her. She jumped when the door clicked shut. Spinning around, her eyes widened and a smile claimed her lips. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, and she had on an apron with a moose on it.
Her breath hitched as I strode to her, closing the distance between the door and where she stood inside of a second. I stopped inches from her. Her sky blue eyes were wide, her cheeks were flushed and her lips, fuck me, her lips could bring me to my knees.
I didn’t wait anymore, dipping my head and catching her delectable lips with mine. I meant for this to be a slow greeting. Our kiss started slow, her mouth opening for me on a sigh. The moment her tongue tangled with mine, I was done for.
I growled, sliding my palm down her spine, tangling my other hand in her hair and cupping her sweet bottom to tug her firm against me. I shoved her apron up out of the way and yanked her leggings down. Reaching between her thighs, I cupped her over her thin cotton panties. I could feel the wet heat of her desire. She moaned and tore her lips free of mine.
“Levi…” she gasped.
“Mmm,” I murmured as I dragged my tongue along the side of her neck.
Spinning us around, I took a step, lifting her up and sliding her hips on the counter. Leaning back, I caught her eyes. “I missed you.”
She held my gaze, the moment electric. Lifting a hand, she traced my lips. “I missed you too.” She took a deep breath and then grinned slowly. “Now let’s get these out of the way,” she said as she yanked at the buttons of my jeans and shoved my shirt up.
In a matter of seconds, we were both nearly bare, and I was lifting her back onto the counter, her panties discarded.
With the feel of her palm curling around my cock and my heart thudding hard and fast against my ribs, lust was pounding through me so hard I could barely think.
I forced myself to hold still. My desire for Lucy was so powerful, I could hardly withstand it. Its force was akin to a river, running wild through the mountains. The sheer, raw power of it was what drew me to her from the start. Yet, it wasn’t simply that which bound me to her. It was our connection, the shimmering web of intimacy that spun us tighter and tighter together whenever I was close to her like this.
My mind flashed back to before when she was always brushing me off, her sky blue eyes flashing with desire and anger at once as she tried to keep me at bay. When she let go, that blue darkening like the sky in a storm. Once in a while, vulnerability flickered in the depths when she let her guard down.
As she held my gaze, her breath hitched, and I could see her pulse fluttering in her neck, her skin flushed with need. She curled her legs around me, sliding her palm up and down my cock. I was so hard, the pressure was almost unbearable. I reached up, brushing a loose tendril of hair away from her face and dipping my head to catch her lips in a kiss again.
Only then did I reach between her thighs again, stroking through her slick folds. When I drew back, she gasped my name, her hips rocking impatie
ntly against me. Gripping my cock in my fist, I dragged it back and forth, coating it with her juices.
Her eyes flashed. “Stop teasing,” she ordered, nudging her hips into mine.
Obediently, I followed her order and sank into her deeply. Her creamy clench welcomed me, hot and slick. I groaned, almost coming instantly. Forcing myself to hold still, I dipped my head to catch my breath in the curve of her neck, breathing in her musky scent.
“I love you,” I murmured gruffly, lifting my head.
Her eyes widened, and I felt her pulse kick up a notch where my hand rested along her collarbone.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Lucy
The rich blue of Levi’s gaze held me. I couldn’t look away as my pulse thundered, echoing through my entire body. His words struck me at my core. For a beat, anxiety bloomed inside, an anxiety I knew well. I managed a breath, holding his gaze, and felt myself relax. He held still, his cock stretching me. Connected as deeply as we could physically be, it felt as if we were one.
“I love you too,” I finally said. I might’ve said the words more than once already, but they were still fresh.
He answered with his lips, catching mine in a soft kiss. He drew his hips back and then sank into me deeply, the stretch delicious and overwhelming. I was so close to the edge already, I clung to the moment. I didn’t want this to end too quickly.
The blunt truth was I’d gotten rather accustomed to finding release with him. It had been two long weeks apart. I’d missed him acutely—physically and emotionally. The internal storm of my emotions heightened every sensation. My body was frantic with pure, raw, primal need.
Feeding into my need was the intimacy curling like smoke in the heat of our desire. With every stroke, pleasure spun through me, spinning tighter and tighter until he reached between us, pressing his thumb over my clit. My release hit me so hard, I shouted his name, pleasure sending me flying apart in his arms.
I distantly heard him crying my name and the heat of his release filling me as he went taut. On a low groan, he relaxed against me, his head falling into the curve of my neck with his breath gusting against my shoulder. I breathed in the scent of him, the woodsy, crisp, masculine scent he carried with him.
“Your sheets don’t hold a candle to the real thing.”
I hadn’t meant to speak my thoughts aloud, but the words slipped out. He lifted his head, his eyes catching mine.
“What about my sheets?”
I flushed all over, but I was relaxed in his arms with his warm, teasing gaze holding mine. “Your sheets don’t smell as good as you,” I said simply.
He chuckled and then lifted me, holding me against him and still buried inside of me, as he walked us upstairs into the shower.
Chapter Thirty-Three
Lucy
A few weeks later, I stood in Levi’s kitchen and glanced over to where he sat at the kitchen table with Ham sitting on his shoulder. He did this with Ham often, feeding him little bits of lettuce and carrots. A smile tugged at the corners of my mouth as I bit back the urge to laugh.
It was ridiculous really. Levi—hotshot firefighter, sexy as hell, tough as hell, and too handsome for his own good—carefully offering snacks to a small brown and white hamster. Snagging my phone off the counter, I quickly snapped a photo.
“I’m sending that to Maisie,” I offered with a grin.
He chuckled. “So?”
“She can share with your crew. You look ridiculous, you know.”
He shrugged, entirely unabashed. “Ham likes to get his snacks this way.”
“I know.” My heart suddenly felt full. Restless, I spun away, emotion hitting me in waves. These little episodes, where I felt caught in a riptide of emotion, had been happening a lot lately. I didn’t quite know what to do with any of it.
I might’ve been able to admit that I loved Levi, but I wasn’t used to this. For my whole life, I’d been fending for myself one way or another. Now, here I was still at Levi’s, still trying to figure out what to do next.
I spoke over my shoulder. “I think I found a place to rent,” I said.
The moment I spoke, my heart did that funny little tumble. Relieved there were a few dishes in the sink, I turned on the water and started washing them.
After a beat, he spoke. “Come here.”
I turned the water off and dried my hands on the dishtowel before turning to face Levi. He lifted Ham off of his shoulder and carefully set him on the floor. Beckoning me with his hand, his eyes held mine. Since I couldn’t have willed my body not to respond even if I wanted to, I was crossing the room to him before I even thought about it. When I reached him, he took the towel out of my hand and set it on the table, tugging me between his knees.
His gaze was somber and intent. In a flash, the air was shimmering with the electricity and intimacy that simply existed between us. It was its own force, one that could not be denied.
He hooked a finger in one of my belt loops. I was wearing a faded pair of jeans and a t-shirt. He lifted his other hand and traced my brow, his fingertip trailing down along my cheek.
His touch was like a blaze of fire on my skin. Emotion welled inside of me again, and he hadn’t said another word yet.
“What?” I asked, my voice thick. Tears wicked up from the knot of emotion in my throat, and I couldn’t will them away. I felt the heat of a tear rolling down my cheek and his thumb brushing it away.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, his tone gruff.
I shook my head sharply. “I don’t know. Why are you looking at me like that?”
Wiping the next tear that fell with his thumb, his gaze never wavered. “I understand why you might want to have your own place, but…” He paused, taking a deep breath. “You’re it for me. I’ll be patient if I have to, but I wish you would stay here.”
I stared at him, my heart beating wildly and the achy feeling easing inside. Wordlessly, I nodded. I took a deep breath, the tension bundled inside starting to loosen. I was stubborn, really stubborn, and I knew it. I thought back to a comment Amelia had made the other day. I’d said something to the effect that it had been easy for her to decide Cade was the one because he’d always been the one for her, and there was no compromise.
She’d eyed me and shook her head. “There’s always a compromise. I think you’ve forgotten how proud and stubborn I can be. I had to let go of a lot of anger. It didn’t matter whether it was rational or not. It’s always easier to be alone. Because then you don’t have to be vulnerable, you don’t have to put your own heart on the line.”
I’d turned her words over in my mind like a worry stone, again and again, evaluating them from every angle. In the end, she was right, and I knew it.
So I stared at Levi, realizing he was putting his heart on the line for me, and I wasn’t doing the same. Oh, I loved him, and I wanted him. Yet, I was clinging to making decisions that were all about me, while hedging my bets on us.
On the heels of another deep breath, I reached up to brush a lock of his hair away from his forehead, that tawny golden hair that I loved so.
“Okay, I’ll stay,” I said softly, my heart beating wildly and soaring.
His smile was like the sun coming out behind the clouds. He dropped his hand from my cheek. With his chin just about level with mine, he angled his head and dropped a kiss on my neck.
“Oh thank God. I didn’t want to beg,” he said with a low laugh.
Epilogue
Levi
One year later
Lucy stood in front of me. We were standing outside of Firehouse Café on a chilly, early autumn evening. We had just arrived at a surprise party planned by Amelia, Susannah, and Maisie. All of this planning had taken place behind Lucy’s back.
We’d gotten married the day before. Lucy’s blonde hair was piled up in a messy knot, the wind blowing it wild. She had absolutely, positively refused to plan a wedding, so we’d eloped.
Well, I didn’t know if it was technically eloping when we told everyo
ne we were doing just that. I loved Lucy, so much that I still wondered how I’d ever lived without her. But trying to get to the actual marrying part hadn’t been easy. She’d dragged her feet every step of the way. She didn’t want a ceremony, and she refused to wear a wedding dress. The only part she hadn’t argued about was getting married. Thank fuck for that.
With the help of friends, I’d managed to get her here. Cade had done a bit of dirty work by swapping out her truck battery for a dead one while she and Amelia were working today. Orchestrating the plan, Amelia had conveniently left work early, so Lucy was stuck at the job site and had to call me for a ride.
We already had ‘plans’ to meet Amelia and Cade for dinner at Wildlands. I claimed I needed to stop and pick up something from Janet at the café. We reached the door, at which point Lucy realized it said Closed.
She peeked through the window before spinning back to face me. “Why is it closed and only our friends are there? And your parents? And my mom?” she demanded, hands on her hips as she glared at me.
“Amelia wanted to have a party since you wouldn’t let her plan our wedding,” I offered, reaching for her hand and reeling her to me. “So here’s the party.”
She stared at me for a moment and then shook her head, her cheeks flushing. She relaxed against me, burying her face in my chest.
“Why does everyone have to make it a thing? I hate when people pay attention to me,” she mumbled into my chest.
I smoothed a hand over her hair, tucking a lock behind her ear and cupping her chin. Nudging it up, I looked down at her. “Because people love you. We have dinner with friends and family all the time. That’s all this is.”
Her teeth snagged her bottom lip as she eyed me. On the heels of a sigh, she murmured, “Fine. Let’s go in.”
* * *
A few hours later, after plenty of food had been served and probably a bit too much alcohol, Lucy was sitting on my lap at one of the tables. We’d just been trounced in poker by Maisie. She was epically good at poker, so this was a common occurrence.