Chapter One: Old Fucking Sayings
It was Nietzsche who wrote, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." What about your soul breaking? Would that make me stronger? Or is me being fucking pissed at the world going to help make me stronger?
I am standing in the middle of my bedroom, located in the center of the Second Circle of Hell. Did I mention that I am in my birthday suit? And, oh yeah, I got it on with my mate - well ex-mate G, short for Gabriel or George. I confessed my love for him, and he, in turn, rejects me. And when I mean rejects, he pulls his dick out of my vagina, grabs his clothes, and marches out of the fucking bedroom. Not a single word was spoken.
Fucked up. Right?
Throughout my entire journey through Hell, G was always an enigma, playing hot and cold with me. He took my virginity because he thought I was a whore. Then, he ignored me when he realized his mistake, and then finally came around on our trip across the River Styx.
The best part? After having sex with me the first time, we became mated. A magical bond forged between us. I tried breaking the bond when we on Charon's boat, and it almost killed me. I wasn't strong enough at the time.
The second time around? Piece of cake. But there is a price.
Breaking the bond with G killed something in me, making me feel a fury I've never known. All there is now is a dark rage, and I want to set Heaven and Hell on fire! Hell hath no fury, right?
Back to my current predicament. I am standing butt ass naked in a Circle of Hell that punishes the gluttonous.
My two other mates, because one isn't enough for me, Not my doing, are now both in my room that G left. And because the situation can't be unrealistic enough, one man is an Archangel and the other a Pure Soul.
The Archangel Uriel, AKA Red because he has blood red wings and eyes that match, is looking at me with deep concern. Virgil, my guide, mirrors the look. Both men are gorgeous, Red built like a Spartan warrior, and Virgil made like a runner.
And coming in behind them, waltzing into the room, the fourth Archangel, Raphael. I have released him of his gluttonous wolf-like form.
Hasn't stopped Raphael from being a real dick to me. Even though I transformed him back into his Archangel form. Some genuine gratitude for you.
"What the fuck is she?" Raphael demands from Red while pointing at me.
Looking over my shoulder, I see that my wings have popped out. Ever since I took my twenty-first birthday drink, I've been going through a metamorphosis of late. My eyes changed from brown to the whitest blue imaginable. My wings, a fiery color, have now turned to blue and black. Reflecting on the cold anger and fury, I'm currently feeling at G's rejection. Back to the asshole, Archangel standing in front of me.
"She's my mate," Red answers.
"And mine," states Virgil.
My fiery black and blue wings disappear. "And they are my mates," I inform Raph. My new nickname for the stuck up Archangel. Raph's bronze-colored skin on his face blanches. His golden eyes bugging out of his head.
Raph's shocked expression is annoying me. "What is it, Raph?" I impatiently ask. His appearance goes from shock to anger.
"We are fucking angels," he grinds through his clenched teeth, turning his angry golden stare to Red. "We don't do 'mates,'" he admonishes Red. Like it's Red's fault?
Clearing my throat, Raph turns his attention back to me. "Angels do now," I say with finality. Some angels.
"Let's resolve some of the current issues," Raph states. He's taking command and steering the conversation. "First. You," pointing at me with disgust. "Get dressed. Seeing you naked is shameful." I'm starting to shake in a fury.
Raph ignores my impending explosion and keeps talking. "Second. What the fuck is she?" still pointing at me but directing his gaze and the question to Red. "And third. Where the fuck did Gabriel go?" Speaking of the devil.
"Right behind you," G says, dressed, showing no emotion that I broke our bond. In fact, from the way he's casually leaning against the open door frame, he looks relieved.
G's handsome face is calm and collected. He looks like an errant knight that has jumped out of a medieval book. No sign of any internal discomfort. His green eyes are bright and clear. The pain feels like it is a knife twisting into my heart. Another asshole Archangel. It was all a lie.
From Raph's condescending remarks to G's indifference to the destruction of our soul bond. This takes me to a whole new level of pissed-off. What used to be a feeling of a warm, white light energy, is now replaced with something dark, potent, and powerful.
"Sera? Baby girl?" I can barely hear Virgil's voice through the haze of fury pounding in my ears. "Calm down."
He used me! He lied to me! I know Red and Virgil can hear my thoughts through our shared bond. I see them stepping back away from me. I search deep within myself; everything and everyone in the room fades to black. Except for G., I'm concentrating my dark energy to throw at G. He doesn't know pain. Not yet.
"SERA!" I hear Red command through the haze, but I ignore it. I'm not a toy!
Finding the power within me and about to unleash hell, I hear a whine. An animal whine. FMC! The nickname I gave to Lucifer's three-headed ex-Hellhound Floppsy, Moppsy, and Cottontail. That whine snaps me out of the powerful dark hold that took over my soul. What am I doing!?
I let go of the fury, and the room comes back into focus. The crisp, relaxing blue colors painted on the walls help to temper down my anger. I turn, walking to the other side of the enormous bed that can accommodate five bodies. I find FMC whining with all her heads down on the floor. I can see the whites of her eyes, and she's looking scared. Of me?
I turn back to everyone in the room. All four men are wearing fearful expressions. It's then that I notice the large cracks splintering the grey marble floor. Starting from where I was standing, leading all the way up the walls to the stucco ceiling. I did that? Shit! I need to get out of here! If this place is like the Center of the First Circle, then I hope this works.
Thinking about black, tight leather clothing to cover my nakedness, I look down, and I am clothed. I grab Cal from the nightstand, the nickname I gave to the sword Excalibur that I pulled from the stone. Cliche right? It seems like an eternity ago that I pulled out the sword in G's office. I sling the sword on my back and walk to the open doorway, all the men step back, giving me a wide berth. Whatever.
Walking out of the bedroom, I find myself in a living room. Comfortable couches and armchairs are surrounding a glass coffee table. Seven doors are lining the outside perimeter of the room. Four of the entries have markings on them. Most likely, the men's bedrooms.
I choose a door with no markings and open it. All I see is open blackness. Nothing but space. I think of a gym with a swimming pool so I can calm down and clear my head.
Space transforms into what I want, with an Olympic size pool. I step through the doorway, removing Cal. Walking to the pool, a one-piece swimsuit, swim cap, and goggles materialize on me.
I also want the water at a perfect swimming temperature. Placing Cal near the edge of the pool, I pull the goggles down over my eyes and perform a shallow dive.
The water is at first cold, making me sprint to the far wall to rush my body's acclimation to the water temperature. I swim down and back. I haven't listened to music for a long time.
I conjure waterproof earbuds with an iPod loaded with my favorite music strapped onto my arm. I create a playlist filled with only sad songs. The first song by The Temptations, 'I Wish It Would Rain' starts blaring through the earbuds. I didn't want to speak to anyone anyway.
I must have swum for hours, letting my mind drift, trying to get my body fatigued. When I lose interest in swimming, I get out, thinking myself dry and getting dressed. Time to practice flying.
I find that dead calm
in me, my wings popping out. Observing my wings over my shoulder, the color is still black and blue. I stretch my wings out, jumping into the air and flap my wings. I reach one hundred feet, then drift down to the ground. I'm attempting to copy G's slow drift down lust hill in the First Circle. Nope. Not going to bother thinking about him. I look forward. Get the mission done.
I do ten sets of flying until I'm completely drained of energy in my mind, body, and soul. On my last landing, I walk over to the pool, grab Cal, and head out the door.
Chapter Two: To Harden a Heart
I walk into the living room seeing all four guys sitting on the couches surrounding the coffee table, looking as if they are in a meeting. Pausing for a second, taking in the scene, something starts to hurt in my chest, causing my eyes to water. Virgil and Red's backs were to me. So much for love.
Virgil immediately stands up and faces me. "It's not what you think, Sera," Virgil pleads. Red is still sitting, facing away from me, his body looking tense. G and Raph are ignoring me altogether.
"Right. It's a meeting for dicks. Can't be a meeting for coward angels, you're in the group," I spitefully say to Virgil but addressing the whole group. "You can all stay in Hell. I'm going back to Earth. I'm done." I say with finality. "Go ask The Creator to save your ungrateful asses and to collect their own bet."
Having the last word, I turn on my heel and march to my bedroom door. I push the door open with some force, walkthrough, slamming it shut and locking it.
My heart hurts. What did I do wrong? G wanted to be free, I let him go. He looked relieved that I did it. Am I not supposed to feel hurt about that? Be dead like them?
There's a knock on the bedroom door. LEAVE ME ALONE! The door starts to shake.
The door bursts open, flying off the hinges and slamming into the far wall. A force of air blows through the room. Only one angel has an affinity for Air. G.
G steps into the room, ebony black wings out, fury radiating all over his body, green eyes glowing. Showing no fear of G's outburst, I sigh and roll my eyes. "What the fuck do you want, Gabriel?" letting his name fill with sarcasm as it rolls off my tongue. He stalks towards me.
Before descending into Hell, I would have been scared shitless of the way G was coming at me. Now? Now I'm fucking bored. And I let him know that I was bored by my body language. Only pissing him off more. Good! I'm itching for a fight!
"Sera! Please! Stop!" Virgil yells, running into the room. "It's Lucifer! He's been messing with our heads when you ran away from us when we traveled through the Second Circle." I look over to Virgil, allowing G to swiftly grab me, toss me onto the bed and pin me down.
I lay still, not fighting back, turning my head, to the side to look at Virgil, and completely ignore G. "Okay? And?" I say to Virgil, showing my willingness to listen to his explanation.
Virgil continues. "Lucifer told Gabriel that you favored Uriel and me, and that's why we can hear each other's thoughts. Gabriel has never been able to hear your thoughts. Even after the bond was forged." Virgil states.
"That's because G had no faith in the bond or me," I plainly state, still looking at Virgil.
And then the pain hits, tears spilling out, voice trembling. "I gave G my heart, and he chewed it up and spat it back at me." I then turn my head looking straight into G's green eyes. "I'm tired of you using me as a fuck toy, and not feeling anything for me!" I scream in his face. "I thought you were starting to care for me. But that was wishful thinking. I let you go. Now please let me go."
"Sera," Virgil's voice soft. "Lucifer told Gabriel that you would never love him. Why he was confused and hurt when you did profess your love to him. Gabriel thought you were lying. When you broke the bond, Gabriel believed the lie Lucifer told him." Turning my head back to Virgil, " What changed his mind?" motioning my head towards G.
"When he saw the dark, destructive power you leaked, causing you to crack the bedroom. Gabriel realized how much he hurt you when he left you like he did," Virgil says. Right after sex. No better time to break a soul bond!
Turning back to G, "What the fuck do you want from me, Gabriel!" I am screaming at him with force.
"Your forgiveness," G states. You have got to be kidding me!
I take in a deep breath, "There's an old saying 'Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.' I do forgive you, but I will not bond with you again. You never once attempted to get to know me, and yet everything you have assumed about my nature has been wrong. I'll get you through Hell, but that's it. Understand?" I finish.
Nodding his head in understanding, G releases my arms and gets off me, sliding to the edge and gets up. His wings are disappearing, his head and shoulders drooping as he walks out the door. My soul aches for him, wanting the bond back, but my heart and mind would never recover if I got hurt by him again.
"Sera." Virgil sounds exasperated when he says my name. "You know Lucifer likes to mess with people's heads. I truly believe that Gabriel does care for you or maybe even loves you. Pushing him away will cause you more pain."
Turning to Virgil, my decision made, "Virgil, he had a choice to believe whatever he wanted about me. He chose the lies. If he tried to get to know me, the situation might have turned out differently. Now we both have to face the consequences. Okay?"
"I think you're making a mistake," Virgil says quietly.
"It's my cross to bear," I say. "Virgil, I'm tired. I trained for hours today and need some rest. I will continue training tomorrow. If you and the guys want to keep training me, that would be great. If not..." I shrug my shoulders, ending the conversation.
"Does that include Gabriel?" Virgil asks before leaving.
"I can always use the training, but I won't force him to do anything. Free will remember?" I tell him. Virgil gives me a brief nod before walking out of the open doorway.
In my mind, I fix the door G destroyed by placing it back on the hinges. Good as new. I head to the open doorway leading to the bathroom. I turn the bathroom into a luxurious spa. I even thought of female attendants to pamper me. Why the fuck not? Coming to this Circle has been a shit storm.
Besides, I've never been to a spa before, and I always wanted to try it. I first got a deep tissue massage, the masseuse kneading out the knots in my body with her strong hands.
Next, I get a mud facial, helping me relax and think about nothing. Finally, I soak in a jet tub, the water added with flora scented oils to help soothe and soften my skin. I create champagne, fruits, and cheeses to snack on.
I soak for a good hour. The attendants occasionally drain and add more hot water to the tub. Feeling relaxed and refreshed, I stand up and step out onto the floor mat. An attendant wraps a towel around me. I send the attendants away and think soft cotton pajamas onto my body. Walking out the open doorway, I immediately stop in my tracks. Shit.
Raph is in the room. Here comes more angel drama. When he sees me, he actually licks his lips while undressing me with his eyes.
Seeing that I am observing his caveman perusal, his mouth hardens. A look of shame is on his face. "Raph, I've had a trying couple of hours, and now I want to sleep. Can this wait until tomorrow?"
"Why didn't you tell me that you're the angel from the prophecy?" he demands.
"Because I don't know who or what I am, no less an angel. And you've been a total prick to me since I've met you. Now may I go to sleep, or do I need to blow you out of my room again?" my tone reflecting my frustrated and exhausted state.
The reminder of how I lifted his ass out of the room with a gust of wind when we first met, makes Raph stiffen. Giving me a proud look, Raph turns and marches out my door, banging it shut behind him. I thought only women got PMS?
I walk over to the enormous bed and crawl under the covers. I hear deep breathing coming from the side of the bed, on the floor. At least FMC is sticking it out with me. I wonder if Red also changed his mind about being my mate? With that, I close my eyes and drift off.
"How could you do that to her, Gabriel?" I hear Virgil's
voice from the pitch blackness I'm surrounded in.
"She hates me," is G's reply.
"How the fuck did you come up with that conclusion?" That's Red's voice. Why can't I see anything?
"You two are somehow linked with her. I don't have that connection." G says, sounding sad.
"Maybe if you stopped closing yourself off to her, you would have felt that connection?" Virgil offers.
"I've been mulling it over since we first got here, and the feeling that she doesn't want me has been growing. I don't understand why she lied about saying that she loved me? Because when I saw her reaction to when I bluffed my indifference to her breaking our bond. I actually thought I hurt her." There is definitely a confused tone in his voice.
"Maybe," a third voice chimes in, " Lucifer is fucking with your head. Picking the weakest person who can be easily manipulated. It's what he does, and we are in his territory." That must be Raph.
"I've been having the same thoughts myself when we first got to this circle," Virgil admits. "And the thoughts got stronger when she ran from us. But when Sera let slip that she loved me, the doubt vanished, and I saw her as when I first saw her at the bar. I realized that she would never lie about something like that. Her love is genuine and equal for each of us."
"Here she comes," is Raph's voice. There are no more voices after that. Has to be the meeting the guys had earlier. Why would my power show me that?
'Sera?' a familiar voice coming from the dark. The sound of my adopted mother, Lilith.
'Mom?' I question the dark.
'Sera, you need Gabriel as much as he needs you. Something's coming, and you have to the bond with all your mates,' there's a hint of panic in my mom's tone.
'Mom, what's so important for having bonds with men who don't want me? It is not fair for them or me,' I ask. No response. Fucking great. I need to wake up and train.
I come awake with a start. FMC lifts one of her heads to make sure I'm okay. "Go back to sleep, girl," I soothe. She lays that head down and closes her eyes, grunting that I disturbed her. I get up and get out of bed. Grabbing Cal, I walk out of my bedroom, through the living room, and head towards the gym door.
Descending Page 1