“Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.” She placed the scissors and rolls of tape on the coffee table. “Go home and get some sleep.”
He stood tall, his shoulders squared, as if he were ready to go to battle himself. “I’m not going anywhere.”
She fought a rush of panic. “The brewery—”
“Manages without me when I go on a mission. It’s no big deal if I don’t stop in tonight. Don’t forget, I’m a phone call away if they need me.”
“You’ve done so much already. Talk about going above and beyond.”
“You’ve done just as much. And look at all this.” He motioned to the bags of presents. “You can’t wrap all of this on your own.”
“I can.” She had to. Because however tired she was physically, emotionally, doing it on her own was better than continuing to rely on him for help.
“If I leave, you’ll be up all night.” He removed a box from one of the bags, his long fingers wrapping around a board game. “I’m not going to do that to you.”
She needed him to leave her. Now. “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t mind.”
“I do.”
The fire crackled. The wind blew outside. Carly could think of a million other places she’d rather be at the moment, but she was stuck here. She needed to be alone.
“Jake—”
“I know what’s missing.” He walked to the stereo and fiddled with the radio dial. “We can’t do this without setting the mood.”
Carly’s heart slammed against her chest. Dread filled her.
He wouldn’t.
Except…she’d never told him about her discomfort with the whole Christmas season. She’d never told anyone except…Santa.
“Silent Night” played through the speakers.
She felt as if she might lose it any minute. Her shoulders sagged. “I’d rather we didn’t have Christmas music playing.”
He sorted the presents into stacks. One for Kendall. Another for Austin. “Why not?”
Carly took a deep breath, but didn’t say anything. She couldn’t say anything.
“Come on,” he said. “Tell me.”
“Christmas,” she whispered as if it were some taboo word not supposed to be spoken. “I don’t like it.”
“Sure you do.” He shot her a quizzical look as he placed a snowboard in Austin’s pile. “You love Christmas. More than anyone I know.”
She shook her head.
He froze. “You’re serious?”
“Completely serious.”
“But you used to bake all those cookies and spend hours decorating them with icing and candies. You’d make people gifts each year. And I’ll never forget those Christmas carols you played all the time. Nick and I used to make up stupid lyrics to go with the music so you would turn them off.”
Jake and Nick had irritated her so much with their words and singing, but she had only turned up the volume when they did that.
“That was before,” she admitted. “I—I don’t celebrate Christmas anymore. I haven’t since I moved to Philadelphia.”
“The accident.”
It wasn’t a question. She nodded, grateful for his instant understanding. “I found it difficult, okay, impossible, to separate the accident from Christmas. Especially after the Christmas Eve wedding that wasn’t. The feelings of guilt were so strong they threatened to suffocate me every time December rolled around. So I stopped celebrating Christmas. No one knew then. Or knows now.”
His assessing gaze make her self-conscious. “You send gifts.”
“I shop for presents all year-round, wrap them in September and package them so they’re ready to mail after Thanksgiving. But now with Hannah in the hospital over Christmas I fear my secret is going to get out.”
“Your secret is safe with me.”
His words wrapped around her heart. She trusted he wouldn’t say anything. “Thank you.”
“Today must have been hard for you.”
“I did what I had to do.”
“You did a great job.” He opened his arms. Carly went cautiously, but the moment he embraced her, she knew it was exactly what she needed. What she’d been wanting all night long. His hug offered comfort, strength and understanding. “Tell me what you need to get you through this and it’s yours.”
You.
What she needed was him. Uh-oh. She sure couldn’t tell him that.
“Thanks,” she said, not knowing what else to say.
“You know, maybe having to do Christmas for the kids will bring back your love of the holiday.”
“That’s not possible.”
“Anything’s possible,” he said. “The Grinch figured out the meaning of Christmas in a night.”
“And I thought you calling me a pest was bad.” She crinkled her nose. “Now you’re comparing me to the Grinch?”
“It’s either him or Ebenezer Scrooge. Don’t forget he learned what Christmas meant in a night, too.”
This must be Jake’s glass-half-full approach. She sighed. “I already know the meaning of Christmas. I just choose not to do anything about it.”
“Be careful what you say.”
“Why is that?” Carly asked.
He winked. “Because I’m always up for a challenge.”
Forget about loving a challenge.
After four hours of wrapping, tagging and tying ribbons, Jake understood a little better why Carly felt the way she did about Christmas. But he wasn’t about to give up. On the holiday or her.
She needed him. More than he’d realized. All he had to do was make her see it, too.
“That was harder than I thought it would be.” Give him a length of rope, and he could tie one-handed bowlines with his eyes closed, but he couldn’t tie a pretty bow around a present to save his life. “Good thing you were here to tie those ribbons.”
“Well, I’m relieved you took the presents up to the attic. That was the last thing to check off my list for today.” She sat on the couch, her legs curled underneath her and her eyes closed. “Do you think it would be bad if I slept here tonight?”
Not if he could join her. Oops. Wrong answer. He tried again. “It might get cold without a blanket.”
“True, but I have the fire to keep me warm.”
“Not unless you plan to keep stoking it so the fire burns all night.”
“Stop.” She yawned and covered her mouth. “It’s too late for reality.”
Jake was up for a little fantasy himself. He wanted to give Carly whatever she wanted.
“It’s not too late for what I have in mind,” he said.
“What is that?” she asked.
“Be right back.”
“Take your time,” she mumbled. “Please.”
Jake returned a few minutes later. He set two glasses of eggnog on the coffee table. “This might make you feel better and give you enough strength to make it to your bed.”
Carly’s eyes sprang open. She saw the drinks and smiled. “Oh, this might give me the second wind I need. Is that nutmeg on top?”
“Freshly ground just for you.”
Her warm, sleepy eyes brightened. “You are amazing.”
He smiled at the compliment. “So are you.”
Carly raised her glass to him. “To being amazing tonight.”
“I’ll drink to that.” Jake sat next to her, picked up his glass and tapped it against hers. “Cheers.”
She took a sip. “Delicious.”
“Eggnog,” he said. “A tasty Christmas tradition.”
“This is one tradition I still enjoy.” She took another sip. “See, I’m not the Grinch or a Scrooge.”
“True.” The carols playing in the background no longer seemed to bother her. “We could try another tradition to make sure.”
“What do you have in mind?” she asked.
“Mistletoe?”
She laughed. “In your dreams.”
Not quite the reaction he was hoping for, but at least she seemed more relaxed now. Jake wanted the j
oy back in her eyes. The way it had been at the hospital earlier.
He fought the urge to take her in his arms and hold her. To give her comfort, hugs, whatever she needed. But he couldn’t. The line between friend and something more was already blurring. He needed Carly to give him a sign she was ready for more.
So he sat next to her, ignoring his need to touch her, to kiss her.
“You’ve been listening to Christmas music for the past four hours. It’s time to sing along.”
“I don’t sing.”
“That’s true. I remember a couple of your Backstreet Boys renditions.”
She swatted his arm. “Hey.”
“Kidding.” Jake laughed. He listened to the song playing on the radio. “I’m sure you remember the words to ‘Jingle Bells.’”
“I could probably hum along…”
“That’s the spirit.”
“…if you got me a cookie.”
“The ghost of Christmas present just rolled over in his grave.”
She grinned. “Can I have his cookie, too?”
He tickled her side.
Carly erupted into laughter. She tried to tickle him back, but he arched his body away from her. “No fair. You’re bigger than me.”
“Older and wiser, too.”
“Older, yes.” Amusement gleamed in her eyes. “But wiser?”
He tickled her more, until their bodies touched and their faces were mere inches apart. Her full lips drew his attention. He wanted to kiss her.
Instead he let go of her and moved back to his spot on the couch. A wise move? Time would tell, but it felt like the right move.
“I’m going home,” he said. “I’ll pick you guys up in the morning. We can get a tree and take it to the hospital.”
“Sounds good.”
“I have to be at work tomorrow afternoon,” he said. “We’re having a Christmas Eve buffet. Why don’t you and the kids come?”
“That would be great. Hannah ordered a meal that only needs to be heated for Christmas dinner, but I hadn’t figured out what to do for tomorrow night.”
“I’ll pick you up.”
“You have to work.”
“It won’t take me that long to swing by.”
“Okay,” she said. “The kids will like that.”
Jake was more interested in whether or not she was looking forward to seeing him again so soon, but he wasn’t sure she was ready for the question—or that he was ready for the answer. He stood and walked to the front door. “See you tomorrow morning.”
Carly nodded. “Jake.”
He turned.
She stood, her eyes serious. “Thanks for everything. I appreciate all your help, but it was, um, really great having you here tonight. And not just to help me with stuff.”
Her sincere words filled him with warmth. Jake smiled. He might not have gotten to kiss her tonight, but he would get his chance again.
Maybe sooner than he expected.
In thirty-six hours, Christmas would be behind her for another year. Carly couldn’t wait. At least the day hadn’t been too painful so far. Thanks to Jake.
She forced herself not to look at him. Not an easy thing in Hannah’s cozy hospital room. But Carly had been staring and thinking about him too much. He’d become a part of her daily life, but she wasn’t about to let him under her skin. Or into her heart.
Austin hung a silver bell on the small live tree they’d bought this morning. “This is so much fun.”
The fresh fir scent and new baby smell masked the sterile hospital aroma Carly had smelled yesterday. And with all the noise—talking, laughter and Kendall’s boot heels clicking against the tile floor—it seemed more like a party than hospital visit. “Christmas Eve should be fun.”
“We’ve never decorated a tree on Christmas Eve before,” Kendall said.
“That’s because it’s tradition to put up our tree on the first Sunday of December,” Hannah said from her hospital bed. She hadn’t stopped smiling or watching her kids since they arrived. She looked too rested to have given birth yesterday. “This one, however, is a very special tree. We’ll plant it in the yard so it can grow with Tyler.”
As Carly added hooks to the ornaments they’d purchased that morning, Austin removed a gold ball from the box.
“We can see who grows taller. Tyler or the tree,” Jake said.
Carly glanced his way. He stood with the baby in his arms. Her breath caught in her throat. Her heart skipped at least two beats.
Talk about a natural. Okay, Jake had held Kendall and Austin as babies, but Carly remembered how he’d been back then. A little awkward trying to support the baby’s head, but Jake’s method couldn’t be critiqued now.
An image of him holding his own child formed in Carly’s mind. A beautiful child with the same piercing blue eyes and killer smile. A child that was hers, too.
The thought made her heart pound and her pulse race. Until she realized what she was daydreaming about.
Carly couldn’t think of Jake as a father let alone the father of her baby. She’d given up on that dream. For now at least. And with Jake. A relationship with him could jeopardize the special place he held within this family. Not to mention the risk to her heart. She wet her dry lips.
“Babies can only see black, red and white,” Garrett said.
“Not this baby.” Jake’s tone spoke of a deep affection for the child he held in his arms.
Austin nodded. “Our baby is the smartest baby. And he doesn’t smell bad.”
“At least not yet,” Hannah muttered. “Come over here.”
Carly sat on the chair next to the bed, noticing the photograph of the kids with Santa already set on her rolling bed tray.
“The kids are so happy being with you and Jake.”
Hannah made them sound like a couple. Carly shifted in her seat. “It’s been fun.”
“I don’t know how to thank you.”
“No thanks are necessary. I’m having fun myself.” Her gaze strayed to Jake. She forced her attention back to Hannah. “Don’t worry about a thing. It’s all being taken care of.”
“What about you? Are doing okay?” Hannah asked, curiosity dripping from each word.
“I’m fine.”
“You sure about that?” Hannah lowered her voice. “You and Jake seem sort of, well, chummy.”
“We’re friends,” Carly whispered, ignoring the fact they’d kissed. She’d been trying hard to forget what had happened the other day. “That’s all.”
Hannah’s eyes clouded with concern. “You’re sure that’s all?”
“Being friends is enough.” After Carly had said the words, a part of her—the same part that liked when he pulled her into his arms and held her last night—wondered if that were true. She’d once liked the boy. She didn’t have too many complaints about the man. Face it, men like Jacob Porter weren’t easy to find.
But…the complications.
She had too much to lose if things went wrong. So did Hannah and the kids. Even Garrett. Carly wasn’t willing to take the chance.
“Way more than enough,” she added.
Hannah gave her a dubious look. The same one she’d given when Iain proposed and Carly had wanted a short engagement so they could marry on Christmas Eve.
“Just be careful,” Hannah whispered. “I love Jake to death. I know he cares about you and has for a long time, but he doesn’t exactly have the best track record when it comes to relationships. The last thing I want is for you to be hurt.”
“I don’t want that, either,” Carly admitted. “I promise I’ll be careful.”
So careful she wouldn’t have the opportunity to get hurt, let alone kiss Jake again.
CHAPTER SEVEN
THAT AFTERNOON after Jake had dropped them at home, Kendall and Austin decorated sugar cookies shaped like snowmen, stars, reindeer, candy canes, stockings and angels. The stove beeped. Carly turned off the timer. “The final batch is ready.”
“They smell so good,” A
ustin said.
The scent of freshly baked cookies filled her nostrils, bringing back memories of the Christmases that had come before. “They’re almost better than gingerbread.”
“We’ve never made gingerbread,” Kendall said.
“You have.” Six years ago. When Nick had still been alive. But that was the last time Carly had been with them at Christmastime. Her parents, too, since they’d moved after their divorce. “You were little, though.”
And wouldn’t have remembered.
That hurt. And yet, Garrett and Hannah, even Jake, couldn’t be blamed for not honoring that particular Bishop tradition. It probably never even crossed their minds. But now all the things Nick loved growing up were unfamiliar to his children.
That wasn’t fair to them. Or Nick.
Carly needed to fix that. “Your daddy and I always made a gingerbread house at Christmastime.”
“I want to make one,” Austin said.
“There isn’t time tonight and we’ll be at the hospital most of Christmas, but the next day I’ll show you all you need to know about gingerbread, okay?”
Kendall beamed. “I can’t wait.”
“Me, either,” Austin said.
Carly placed the cookies on a cooling rack. “That makes three of us.”
“Four of us if you count Uncle Jake,” Kendall added. “He’ll want to help. Especially if food’s involved.”
Carly wouldn’t mind Jake being there. She wiped her hands on the Mrs. Claus apron she wore. He’d been the one thing missing this afternoon. She kept thinking he should be here.
The song “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” played on the radio. She listened to the lyrics, mentally composing a list like one Hannah had given her.
Snow, check.
Mistletoe, check.
Presents under the tree, check.
Not bad. Add in baking cookies and Carly was doing pretty good. Granted, this might not qualify as the best Christmas ever, but things were definitely better than she had expected.
Jake would be pleased.
Not that she wanted to please him. Carly placed the cookie sheet in the sink. Okay, maybe a little.
Uh-oh. She couldn’t forget her promise to Hannah about being careful. Yet here Carly was, missing Jake. Wanting to please him. Becoming attached to him. Not smart. Carly washed the cookie sheet. The last thing she wanted to get was burned.
Rescued by the Magic of Christmas Page 9