When he said that, it felt like it was just the two of us back in my apartment in Point Loma. I couldn’t remember the last time someone told me I was sexy.
“Well, okay. But you can only look for a few minutes.” I uncrossed my legs, lay my head back, my hair fanning out over the feather pillow and said, “Knock yourself out.”
With wide eyes, he slowly lifted my T-shirt until it was just above my breasts, not taking his eyes off my body the whole time.
He sucked in his breath. “Wow. They did a great job. My God, Roz, you look like a porn star.”
I smacked him on the arm. “Have some respect for your elders.”
“How’d they do it?”
I explained the whole process; they had removed both my breasts, then put in what are called extenders, for the process of pumping up my breasts with saline solution every few weeks. Another surgery was performed in which lifelike nipples were constructed with flesh taken from my back. Then the nipples were tattooed to look natural. To me, the whole thing was unappetizing, but to Jax, it was a wonder, judging by the way he stared at my boobs with wide-eyed astonishment.
“Can I touch them?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Just for a second? Please?”
I rolled my eyes. “Okay. But just for a second.”
His warm hands started on my stomach, gently stroking and rubbing, then worked their way up to my breasts where he ran his fingertips over the nipples. He caressed both mounds of flesh that were now my best-money-can-buy boobs.
“How’s it work? Can you feel anything?”
I shook my head. “Sensation’s gone.”
“What about if I do this?” He moved his hands along my waist, then over my tummy, then gently rubbed his warm, masculine hand over my panties.
My breath hitched, and my legs spread slightly.
“Seems like you remember what it’s like when your lover touched you.” His eyes were smiling.
“Jax—”
He put his finger to my lips.
“Your breasts are beautiful. You’re beautiful. Can I kiss them?”
“No!” Why the hell not? You’ve gone this far, Rosalyn.
“Please?”
“I don’t know—”
“Please?”
“Well, okay, but just a little.”
He covered my breasts with small kisses, gazing into my eyes. “I know you can’t feel much, but maybe if I kiss you here.” His mouth was warm and gentle as he covered my stomach, waist, and panties with feather-soft kisses, his tongue making the most exquisite contact. I sucked in my breath, my legs tightening, my pelvis contracting. My body tensed in recognition of the last time his hands and mouth roamed freely. I expelled a shuddering breath. He kissed his way up my waist, over my breasts, and then my neck, his mouth wet, his breath hot.
“Jax—”
Those hypnotic eyes gazed into mine. “Rosalyn, you’re beautiful.” And then, he kissed me. His warm mouth was on mine, his tongue gently probing, one hand in my hair and the other on my tummy, softly stroking. He tasted like the ocean. “You’re so beautiful,” he murmured. “God, I’ve missed you.” Suddenly, he snapped into a sitting position, his face in his hands. “I’m sorry. I know you didn’t ask me in here.”
I looked at this man who was the father of my child, who was always eager to please me, who had dropped everything he was doing to be here. This man who took care of all the tiny details in my life as well as the big ones. I stroked his powerful shoulders. “I’m not sorry, Jax. I’m glad you’re here.”
His hands fell away from his face, and he was on top of me, kissing me urgently, his hands in my hair and on my breasts and on my butt, and I could feel his hard cock through his jeans digging into my pelvis. He pulled away long enough to look at me through glazed eyes and said, “Rosalyn, I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you.”
This time, when Jax told me he loved me, I didn’t stop him. I hugged him back, melting into him. He held me in his strong embrace, and I allowed myself to fall into his safety net. “Oh baby, come here.” I drew him in for a deep, sensuous kiss. His hungry lips were on mine, his hands gently drawing my head to his.
“Rosalyn,” he said, his voice hoarse with desire, “I can’t stand it anymore. I have to make love to you. Can I make love to you again? Please?”
There was nothing I wanted more. Jax was everything I’d ever wanted in a partner. Loving, caring, attentive, and sexier than hell. My body thrummed in anticipation of the promise of having Jax make love to me again. The fire between us may have ebbed over the years, but the embers had never been extinguished.
I grabbed the back of his hair and kissed him. “I think, Mr. Priest, that would be just what the doctor ordered.”
He reached into his jeans pocket and removed a condom. My hand covered his. “No.”
“We need to be safe,” he said.
“Can I tell you something?” The words hung between us. “I’ve had exactly one partner since you. It was about a year after Eugene was born.” I looked away. “It was a mistake.” I didn’t want to go on about how much of a disappointment that partner had been. He wasn’t Jax. “My life has been about raising Eugene.”
Jax lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. “I’ve been with more than one.”
I rolled over and looked into his eyes. “I’d be surprised if you hadn’t.” The truth was that I didn’t know how much time I had left. Who cared about safe sex? “It’s been so long, baby. I want to feel you inside me. “I’ve been checked over by doctors six ways to Sunday. I’m safe. And I trust you.”
He toyed with the condom packet, turning it over in his hands. “You’re sure about this?”
“One hundred percent.”
He smiled broadly. “Maybe I can get you pregnant again.”
“Maybe.” There was no way on God’s green earth that was happening. All the drugs I’d taken had made me infertile. “But with the treatments I’ve had, that’s not likely.”
He slid the condom back into his pocket. “What are we waiting for?”
Jax made love to me that stormy, windswept night. First, he slowly lifted my T-shirt over my head. His eyes, as they gazed into mine, were an especially deep ultramarine in that moment. He slowly removed my panties then spread my legs and gently rubbed his palm on my sweet spot as my pelvis jerked up to his hand. “Oh my God, you’re so sexy.” He unzipped his jeans, revealing that gorgeous hard-on that had been the star of my erotic fantasies. Trancelike, I watched while he brushed the throbbing tip against me for just a second before pulling away. “You like that, don’t you, baby?” I nodded, mesmerized by having him almost naked in front of me.
He stood up and removed his faded blue jeans. His chest and shoulders were finely sculpted from a lifetime of paddling, his muscular abdomen rippled under the light of the occasional lightning bolt that streaked through the window. I wanted to drink in his deliciousness. I couldn’t take my eyes off his athletic physique and wanted to devour him right then. His gaze roamed the length of my body, from my face to my breasts, to my stomach, down my legs, to my feet and back up again. “Oh Roz, I want you so bad.” He kneeled down next to the bed. “Come here, baby. Scoot down a little.”
I laid on the edge of the bed, and Jax grabbed a pillow. “Put this under your head. I want you to watch me do it.” I propped my body up at his words, watching in fascination as Jax prepared to devastate me with his mouth.
He spread my legs. “Oh God, you’re so wet. I can’t take it. I have to taste you.”
Jax had not forgotten anything I taught him as he went straight for my sweet spot, the calloused ridge of his thumb slightly brushing across my sex. I inhaled at his touch, sensation pouring through every nerve in my body. I involuntarily bucked from his touch, my body wanting more. He closed his eyes and inhaled my scent. When his tongue touched my clit, I closed my eyes and my head fell back. My body relaxed, my legs opening wider and I collapsed against the pillow. I twisted my finger
s through his hair as he kissed and lapped my little pearl, the bud swelling under his wet tongue. When I opened my eyes and looked into his, the look in his eyes was a raging fire. As his mouth worked its magic, he caressed my inner thighs and tugged on my pubic hair, his masculine hand fondling my abdomen and breasts. A moan escaped my lips, and I said, “Yes, baby, just like that, so good.”
My mouth was practically panting as I stared at Jax, bare-chested between my legs. I lay my head back again and gave myself over to the heavenly sensations. “You’re nice and swollen, baby.” My legs tensed, and my breathing became erratic. After a few minutes, his husky voice said, “You’re almost ready, aren’t you?” He slipped a finger inside me as his tongue massaged faster. The exquisite telltale sensations of my pelvis contracting and my whole body tightening enveloped my being. Jax gazed at me with those sexy blue eyes. “You ready, baby?” I threw my head back and gave myself over to the divine burst of pleasure as I came. My body quivered as Jax slowly worked his fingers in and out of me. “Mmm, you taste good. Yeah, I can feel you coming, baby.” I put both my feet on his shoulders as he stroked the inside of my thighs, keeping his warm mouth on me as I gave myself over to a deep orgasm that started in my pelvis and worked its way up my spine to every nerve in my body and erupted as a buzzing in my head.
My hands grabbed his head, pulling him into me for one final burst of sensation. “Oh, God … yes! Oh my God, I can’t take it. You’re so good.”
Jax kissed the bottom of my feet, one at a time. “Your feet still tingle when you come?” I looked at him through hooded eyes and nodded.
He stood up, picked me up, and laid me in the middle of the bed. “I need to fuck you.” He eased in, his blond hair falling in his face, his eyes burning with desire. “Oh God, I can feel you coming,” he whispered. His body was hot, his hands were all over me, and his lips were on mine. His eyes were feverish, his hands stroking my face and hair. “Rosalyn. Oh yes.” He fucked me slowly, his hands roaming, his sensuous tongue exploring, then pumped his hips quick and fast. I wrapped my arms around his back, his lips found mine and he kissed me greedily. I held on to Jax and when he climaxed, his expression was one of pure rapture. “Oh my God, Rosalyn, I’m coming. Really … really … hard.” He pulled my hair and then collapsed on me with a shudder and kissed my ear, my cheek, and my mouth. He buried his head in my neck and whispered in my ear, his breath hot. “You smell so good. Just like I remember.”
We lay in each other’s arms, our bodies slick with delicious sex sweat. Jax smoothed the hair away from my face and kissed me gently on the cheek. “Damn Rosalyn, you’re sexier than I remember. I can’t believe we’re really together again.”
“You’re not so bad yourself. Where’d you learn to do that?” I kissed his sweet, salty mouth, lingering over the taste of the ocean that I always associated with Jax.
As the storm raged, the wind howled, and lightening filled the sky, Jax made love to me again. He couldn’t contain his excitement and wanted to try out every single thing we’d ever experienced together.
He tugged at a strand of my hair while gazing in my eyes and said, “Hey, Roz, you still have all those sex toys?”
“As a matter of fact, I do.”
“Well, what are we waiting for?”
I swatted his butt then jumped up and retrieved my toys from their hiding place. Like a couple of kids on Christmas morning, we tested them out.
He smiled and kissed me again. “My favorite playmate.”
At one point Jax lay next to me, resting his head on his elbow and playing with my hair. “Are you okay?” I nodded. His finger trailed to my chin. “Look at me, Roz.” I gazed into his eyes. “Am I taking advantage of you?”
I lay on my back, my heart fluttering, a fine sheen of sweat covering my face. “Why would you think that?”
His eyes became misty. “You haven’t been feeling well, and here I am acting like it’s our first time together. Am I wearing you out?”
I sat up in bed. “You’re right about the fact that I’m not in training for this but—”
“But, you’re probably tired.” He sat up, our eyes meeting. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
My body wasn’t up to the marathon sex session, but I wanted Jax. “You’re not hurting me.” My fingers traced his chest. “I don’t want to miss this. My health issues have made me even more grateful for life. More grateful for sex. With you.” His lips covered mine and I fell into his passionate kiss.
We spent the evening making a sweet tangle of the sheets. Sometimes we’d just kiss, our legs entwined, Jax removing his delicious mouth from mine long enough to say, “God, I’ve missed you.” We tried each position imaginable, Jax bending me over the bed while he sank into me, Jax lying on the bed while I straddled him, my hair tickling his face as he grabbed my ass and worked that sexy cock in and out of me, Jax kissing my body gently from head to toe.
I forgot about everything that was wrong in my life as I fell under his spell.
We dozed during the night, and when we roused each other, he wanted to kiss and make love to me again. “Just let me look at you one more time,” he said as he entered me again. “Just one more time, then I’ll let you sleep. I promise.” I silenced him with a kiss.
When Jax finally fell asleep, his breathing slow and even, I was awake. I couldn’t rest from the excitement of having him in bed with me. I watched Jax sleeping peacefully, softly snoring, his blond hair falling over his closed eyes and I ached to make love to him again.
And then I finally admitted it.
I was in love with Jax.
I’d tried to talk myself out of my feelings for him and had shoved thoughts of him into a back corner of my mind where I could pretend that what happened between us didn’t exist, pretend like it was just an unfortunate time in my life when I’d suffered from a lack of judgment. I’d gotten busy raising Eugene, making him the center of my life. I’d nearly forgotten how wonderful it felt to have Jax’s warm, loving, caring body next to me in bed.
If only. If only there weren’t so many complications. I loved Jax. Maybe in another time, place, and environment, a place where there were no age differences, and no cancer …
I kissed him tenderly on the forehead, curved my body around his, and when I finally fell asleep, I slept more contentedly than I had in years.
Eugene
After dinner, I went into my room to practice guitar. Leo jumped on the bed, and I was petting his soft fur when Nelson called.
“Dude, you’re not gonna believe this,” he said.
“What?”
“I did some Google searches tonight, and do you know who Jax is?”
“He’s my mom’s old friend?”
“Well yeah, but the guy’s got loads of YouTube videos and interviews and junk, and wanna guess what else?” Nelson paused for maximum effect like he had the discovery of the century. “Jax Priest’s brother was Tyler Priest from Love Bone.”
“What the—”
“Why do you think your mom didn’t tell you that, bro? I mean, it’s kind of a big deal, right?”
I didn’t know why my mom didn’t tell me. It seemed like there were lots of things she didn’t tell me.
“Hang on a sec, I’m going to my computer now.” I opened my laptop and typed in Jax Priest, Tyler Priest and tons of articles came up about how Tyler had died and that the two brothers were from Point Loma and all kinds of other shit. I started to feel dizzy. “Holy shit, Nelson, Love Bone? That band is radical.”
“No shit. Why didn’t your mom say anything?”
I had no idea why my mom didn’t tell me. I felt super embarrassed, and all I wanted to do was hang up the phone.
“I gotta go now,” I said to Nelson. “See ya in school tomorrow.”
“But you’ll find out, right? Maybe we can get some Love Bone T-shirts or some swag or some kind of original promo CDs or something, right? This is huge.”
I told Nelson that I’d find out. When I hung up the phone,
I slammed my laptop shut and went to my mom’s room to talk to her, but the door was closed. The couch was made up for Jax, but he wasn’t in it. I heard the two of them in my mom’s room talking in real low voices. I wanted to pound on the door and make her pay attention to me.
But then I decided I didn’t need my mom. I stood up straight. Screw her and her lies. She treated me like a baby, she didn’t trust me, and she’d been lying to me. Ever since I was little, my mom acted like I was a soft-boiled egg or something, like I’d break if I were out of her sight for five seconds. And I didn’t like the way she treated Jax, like he was some kind of best friend, and got all stupid when he was around. She thought I didn’t notice things, but I was a lot smarter than that. Well, she had another thing coming because I wasn’t her baby anymore.
Going back to my room, I opened my laptop and searched for the bus schedule from Santa Cruz to El Granada, where Mavericks was. If my mom wouldn’t let me surf, or go out in the rain without a raincoat, or talk to me about who Jax and Tyler were, I would find out myself. And I would go to Mavericks on my own and check out the waves. All I knew was I needed to get away from my mom. My internet search said that it took four buses to get there, and I could be there in about four hours. It cost $19.40 in bus fare, which I had in my drawer from chores I’d done around the house.
I pulled on my sweatshirt, filled my backpack with some bananas, mixed nuts, and a water bottle, and then I climbed the step stool to get a screwdriver from the cupboard above the microwave. I felt like slamming the cupboard door closed and wanted to kick something, but I kept quiet so I wouldn’t get caught. Then, I pulled the metal box out from where I’d hidden it under my bed and put that in my backpack. My mom kept her secrets in there, enough of them to make her cry, and I planned on busting that box open to find out what was inside. When I walked out of my room, on my dresser I saw a bookmark my mom’d given me that said, “Number One Son.” I ripped it in two and threw it on the floor.
I took my umbrella, and when I got outside, it was raining cats and dogs, whatever that was supposed to mean. Some stupid thing my mom always said.
Waves of Desire: Pleasure Point Series Book Three Page 10