by Coralee June
I followed the others into the lobby, stepping outside of the transport with shaky legs and a chin raised high. I willed myself to embody the personality of Shade. She wasn’t scared. She knew how to fight. She didn’t know grief or sadness. She could handle anything the world threw at her. She didn’t go numb to cope, nor did she lash out in anger. She was cool, collected, and a badass.
“A new one, huh?” a guard asked while looking me over and checking his tablet. He scanned my face, nodding once the Walker database came up.
“Grew up in Saberus. Immune. No children or family.”
Another guard walked up to me and grabbed my hand, pricking my finger with a needle and putting a drop of my blood on a test strip and grinning when the red stain turned a bright shade of green.
“Well, look at that. You’re one of the lucky two percent, Companion. Clear!”
We were guided to an elevator, and as we all rose to the top floor, I stared out the clear glass to the city below. In the distance, I could see the Zone. It stood proud with flickering lights and smog outside of Galla despite the grime and poverty.
The door slid open, revealing an ivory room full of people. “Get ready, Shade. I’m off to find Cavil,” Jade said while smiling and entering the room with a flirtatious stroll that made me feel wildly inadequate.
Lowe squeezed my hand before wrapping her arm around me with a fake giggle. “Let’s go have some fun, shall we?” She sashayed, adding an extra sway to her hips as she walked, forcing me to swerve and lean into her.
“Just stick with me, honey.”
The ivory room triggered a fear deep within me that I couldn’t hold back. My mouth was dry and my wrist throbbed as if a phantom pain was rocking through me, reminding me of the destruction that Cavil could cause.
A tall man in a white suit stopped us, grinning at Lowe like she was a prize to be won. “Master Jaquis!” she cooed while detangling herself from me and wrapping her arms around him with a grin. “Oh how I’ve missed you,” she said while nuzzling her nose against his, earning a delighted groan from him. I felt sick to my stomach but kept my face pleasant and neutral. He was a stout man with dimples and red cheeks. He smelled of stale beer and cheese.
“Who is your friend?” the man asked while giving me a slow once over.
Lowe gave me a sideways glance before responding. “That’s my new friend, Shade. She’s immune, but I’m more fun.”
The man chuckled before kissing her neck. Jade flinched, but he didn’t notice. “I do love it when you get jealous, dear,” he said while wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close.
“I know,” she replied with a small smile. She played the part well, but I saw past it. I quietly thanked her for steering this man away from me.
My eyes drifted across the room, and I went still when I saw long black hair and a burly frame scowling in the corner. His thick arms were crossed over his chest, and the white suit he wore accentuated his dark eyes.
It felt like someone was punching me in my gut. All air escaped me. Cyler Black.
Another Walker Companion walked by and paused when she saw me. She was wearing white too, but I didn’t recognize her. I assumed she was a Companion from one of the other brothels in the Zone. “Good luck,” she said, her voice husky and sounding older than she looked. “My brothel sends me here almost every night, and not once has he given me or anyone else a second glance.” She walked away and crashed into an Elite man that was already well too drunk to know what was happening. The Companion easily slipped to his side and maneuvered him to a nearby seat. I slowly made my way towards Cyler in the corner as he stared off to his left at a couple arguing.
Not once did he glance at me. With each step, my pulse increased. Each step closer, I wanted to run and jump into his arms, but I stayed still, slipping into the role required of me.
Once I was near enough, he still didn’t turn my way. Didn’t give me a second of his attention. “Not interested,” he said in a bored tone, still refusing to acknowledge me. I breathed in his cinnamon scent, leaning closer before whispering.
“Cy. First the train, now here? Saving you is becoming a habit.”
I watched as each of his muscles went rigid, the veins in his neck thudding with excitement and anger. Slowly, ever-so-slowly, he turned to look at me, his dark eyes hooded and hungry as he bit his lip and took in my hair, lips, and clothes.
“Babe,” he said in a low voice, reaching out to touch my hip. “You’re in so much fucking trouble.”
I didn’t have a second to think or process what he was doing. Cyler Black didn’t let another moment pass before he was crashing his lips to mine in a passionate move that had my legs going numb. He spun me around, pressed me against the wall, then slid us closer to the shadows. In the dark corner, we were hidden from everyone else.
He kissed me like a starving man, and I melted. I was nothing but a tense bundle of emotions, smearing my red lipstick across his lips as I tasted his tongue, consuming him completely and gripping my dress to hike it up so I could wrap my thighs around him.
I moaned into his mouth, and the sound started a chain reaction of primal need within us. Somehow, my dress had become loose around my chest. He clutched the fabric at my breasts, keeping it up as we kissed. I opened for him, and Cyler thrust his thigh between my legs, pushing up against my core as he used his free hand to grab my hair, yanking my lips from his so he could lick and suck on my neck.
I was nothing but pleading whimpers. Desire. Hot pain and pleasure demanding more. Five months of longing finally came to an end. I didn’t see the ivory room, the Elite, the Walker Companions, or even the figure standing behind him. I just felt Cyler Black and his all consuming love for me.
“What the fuck are you doing?” a familiar voice asked as Cyler was ripped from me. “Really? Does Ash mean nothing to you? How could you do this to her?” Maverick asked while rearing back to punch Cyler before staring at me. I almost let out a scream, begging Maverick to stop, but his shocked whisper stopped me.
“A-Ash?” he asked in a deadly low whisper, as if saying my name out loud would break the spell of seeing me. I worried my disguise wasn’t enough. What if Cavil recognized me? Behind Maverick, Blythe looked at us with disgust before storming off.
“What are you doing here? Blythe said you wouldn’t be here until the end of the month party,” Maverick asked, leaning closer and pushing me even farther into the shadows. Both of them formed a tight wall around me, and I wanted nothing more than to sink my teeth into Maverick’s bottom lip. In the distance, I could see that things were heating up in the ivory room. Men and Companions had started to drift off down the many winding hallways. An Elite woman and a Walker Companion were kissing passionately on Cavil’s ivory couch, spilling wine everywhere.
“I had no choice,” I whispered. “I was called here.” I couldn’t help but feel a slight pang of insecurity at hearing Blythe’s name on Maverick’s tongue. Was he mad that I disrupted his night with her? Five months was a long time. I knew it was unreasonable, and I hated myself for even thinking it, but I needed reassurance.
“You shouldn't be here,” Cyler said. He was still close, crushing me against his body. I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged Cyler tightly before letting go and migrating to Maverick.
He looked the same. If anything, more well-rested. His hair was a bit longer, his skin more pale. I wondered if he was allowed outside. “Mav, aren’t you happy to see me?” I asked before stepping closer.
He looked over his shoulder, staring around at the room, looking at everyone before slipping his eyes to me. “Of course I’m happy to see you, but not here. Not like this.”
I half expected this, but it didn’t mean it hurt any less to hear. I slumped in sadness, feeling rejected even though I knew I had no right to feel this way. Shade was confident, but the Ash that was in love with Maverick and Cyler wanted them to show some sort of excitement. I wanted to slap myself for being so caught up. I knew they loved
me. I knew this just wasn’t an ideal situation.
“Ash, sweetheart, don’t look like that,” Maverick whispered. A familiar cadence of trumpets sounded, causing Cyler and Maverick to stiffen and stare at one another.
They made a wordless choice then, communicating only with their stares and leaving me out of the decision making process. Surprise, surprise.
“Cavil,” Cyler whispered while looking around the room.
“I’ll take her to my room,” Maverick said while gripping my wrist. Cyler seemed reluctant to let me go, but he kissed the inside of my wrist, letting me go with a glance that said this wasn’t over.
Chapter Fourteen
Maverick guided me down the hall, avoiding the throngs of people rushing forward to greet Cavil as the processional music played. The soundtrack of people cheering for his arrival echoed against my skull. In the back of my mind, I knew I should have been nervous, but seeing Maverick and Cyler again eased any fear I felt.
“Hurry,” Maverick said. I kept my head low as we passed guards. I kept sneaking looks from the corner of my eyes, but none seemed to pay us any mind. Maverick’s wrist still donned the fetter that I hated so much. I ran my thumb along its ridges, wincing as I remembered the day Maverick clamped it onto his wrist, tethering us together.
My heels clicked on the marble tile in time to the trumpets playing in the formal party room. The tower was a maze of places and people. We hit a staircase leading down to a lower floor, and Maverick pulled me inside a bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him and locking it.
“This is not good,” Maverick said in a shaky voice. He began pacing the floor while running his hands through his hair. “What were you thinking coming here? Was all of this for nothing?” he growled. I felt my blood boil with anger as he spoke.
“I had no choice. They saw me at the brothel and picked me to attend,” I said, strolling up to Maverick with a frown. “I came back for you, Mav.”
Maverick cupped my cheeks and stared into my eyes. He was like a predator debating over if it wants to devour its prey or snack on it. “You have no idea what kind of a risk this is.”
“I don’t care about the risks. I’d do anything to get you back,” I choked out. Maybe it wasn’t what Maverick wanted to hear. He’d been battling his own self-sacrificing habits for as long as I’d known him. He couldn’t believe that I loved him enough—that anyone loved him enough—to do the same.
“You don’t care?!” Maverick yelled, walking towards a bar cart off to the side of the room. I’d let him have his freak out. I’d let him be angry. When I’d learned that they stayed behind, I had time to process my fear. I’d give him the same opportunity. Love was patient, after all.
Scattered papers filled the room, and books were piled high upon an unmade bed. The tall windows overlooked all of Galla, showing off the night sky and giving the illusion of peace. I’d often wondered where Maverick was staying all this time. Many dark nights, I envisioned him in a prison cell, hunched over and working while Cavil and his guards electrocuted him. This was definitely preferable.
“This is a nice place,” I whispered while casually walking to his desk. I thumbed the papers sitting there and smiled when I saw a corner of pen doodles. My name scratched in bold letters sat proudly in the corner.
“Cavil keeps my workspace tolerable,” Maverick groundout. I sensed some discontent in his statement.
“Have you been okay, Maverick? I mean really. Has he...has he hurt you?” I asked, fearing the answer. I needed to know.
“Of course I’ve not been okay. Anytime I don’t have you in my arms, I’m not okay.” I watched as Maverick poured himself a drink then cursed when the liquor cart lit up a shade of red, prohibiting more liquid from being poured. I guess Cavil didn’t want his prized scientist drunk on the job.
“But all of this? It’s now for nothing. All the pain of being apart is for nothing because you’re here.”
“I’m not going to apologize for coming for you,” I said with a whisper. “I’m not going to apologize for fighting for us.”
“I’m surprised Huxley let you do this,” Maverick said before straightening some papers on his desk. It was like he had to keep moving, his fingers were itching to straighten things, put all the little pens and papers on his desk in order because it was the only thing he could control in this situation.
“I don’t need anyone’s permission, Maverick.”
I stared at Maverick, my chest heaving with anger, tension and...arousal. I wanted him. I didn’t care how it happened. Five months of wanting a man I didn’t know was alive became too much. It was all too much. I strolled forward, grabbing his hand and brushing my lips along his knuckles. Maybe I was selfish for pushing, but I needed to feel Maverick’s lips on mine.
“Kiss me, Maverick,” I pleaded. Instead of responding to my demand, he merely looked at the door with defeat. A sad sort of anger filled me. It wasn’t like the all-consuming one I felt when Huxley and I sparred or even the thudding outrage that always seemed below the surface. No, this anger was mellow and dark. It crept up, shocking me with its intensity. It felt hopeless, like it would never let me go.
Was this it? Was Maverick done with me? “Okay,” I said once I realized that he wouldn’t be giving in to my demand. Spinning around, I spotted a wingback chair in the corner and made my way towards it. I planned to sit things out and let the emotionless vacuum of Shade swallow up my feelings. She wouldn’t be bothered if the man she loved refused her. She would move on.
“Ash,” Maverick said, his voice like a sad moan of disapproval. “Don’t be like that. You risked yourself.”
From my perch, I crossed my legs and stared back at Maverick head on. “You risked our family. I understand why you stayed behind, I truly do. But you didn’t include me in that decision. Maybe too much time has passed. Maybe we missed our opportunity if we ever really had one. I’ll leave here and help you escape, but we don’t have to go back to how we were,” I replied. All I wanted was some sort of affirmation that he was at least happy to see me, that he wanted me still.
That he hadn’t moved on.
“Ash,” Maverick began, “stand up this instant.” Maverick ran a shaky hand through his red hair and stalked towards me.
“You think I’m not happy to see you? I’m ecstatic. I dreamed of kissing you again. Tasting you. Filling you up. Marrying you. It’s all I could think about the last five months.”
I still didn’t stand, even when he was right in front of me, his pelvis at my eye level. I looked up at him through my thick eyelashes, unshed tears blurring my vision as I took in his angry expression.
“But I didn’t want it like this.”
“Show me how you wanted it to be, Maverick. Pretend this isn’t Cavil’s home. Pretend we’re back in Dormas. In your lab. Show me how you’d greet me.”
My fingers trembled as I reached up to unbutton his pants. I slid the zipper down and swallowed when I saw his hardness ready for me. It was thick and proud. Maverick let out a gasp, and the sound was like a bulldozer to my insecurities, tearing down each doubt as I accepted that his pent-up anger would be a part of our reunion.
Licking my lips, I looked up once more at Maverick, asking permission to continue. Without answering me, Maverick slid off his pants and stripped off his shirt. He yanked me up to a standing position and crashed his lips to mine.
His kisses weren’t like Cyler’s, it was pure anger coursing through where our lips touched. He wasn’t tentative, sweet, or even reverent like before. He moved against me, burning his touch to mine like it was his punishment.
My dress ripped further up the thigh, and I took advantage of the freedom to wrap my legs around him and hike it higher so that I was grinding against him.
Breathing in his heady scent, I let my lungs fill, brushing my breasts against him as his tongue teased mine. I threaded my hands through his hair, grabbing hard on the rusty locks and yanking him away from me so I could speak. "Don't you ever leave me a
gain," I said, my voice throaty and hoarse. His wild eyes stared at me as I released his hair and dragged my nails down his back, making him squirm.
"Don't you ever risk yourself like this again," he replied.
He threw me on the bed with a thud before ripping apart my sheer ivory dress. He didn't stop tearing until it was nothing but shreds of white fabric around us, a cloud made up of lies and the part we were expected to play. Standing over me, Maverick dipped down and nibbled my inner thigh before nipping at the lace covering my clit. "Maybe I should want to make this sweet for you. I'm the one expected to make all the sacrifices, right? Save the world. Save the girl." He dragged his teeth along my sensitive skin, the sharp points taunting me. "I'm tired of being the hero. I'm tired of watching the world burn."
In one quick movement, my hips were lifting up for his nimble fingers to slide the lingerie off of me. Once it was gone and I was completely naked before him, he let out a little gasp of appreciation that had me melting. "You think I'm worth risking your life for? I'm no one. I'm nothing. I’ll make this all about you because I don’t deserve a bit of your body, Ash. But fuck, I’m going to take it."
This sadness wasn't what I ever expected for my first time, and especially not from Maverick. I realized that this wasn't about me anymore. He might hate that I showed up, but he was still hell-bent on punishing himself.
"This isn't about me, Maverick. Get on the bed," I said while sitting up, my newly lightened hair falling around my shoulders, covering my breasts as he stared at me.
"What?" he asked.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him to me, smiling when our bodies became a tangled web of limbs on the soft mattress. I kicked aside the blankets and mess of torn clothes, pushing him onto his back before straddling his hips. He looked so good beneath me, his flaring nostrils ignited me from within. It was always Maverick. The sweet healer. The tortured scientist. The sacrificial friend. He'd held me while I cried. Saved my life. Cherished me.