“Art…”
“Let me love you, Mo Sgòthan. Let me be your man.”
I could not utter a word. I held his gaze while the warmth of his skin travelled over my body. His right hand settled on my lower back just like it had before, and his left one cupped the back of my neck. He gently tilted my head leaning into me, and unlike before I could not find anything in me that urged me to stop him. My hesitation was all he needed. Before I knew it, my back was against the tree, and his lips had claimed mine.
His kiss was hungry, gentle and reverent all at once. His lips moved against mine with an urgency that made me feel like I was all he needed to survive. As if my lips were the very air he breathed, and my tongue the water that gave him life. He kissed me like a man that had just touched sand after months stranded at sea. With a need, I had not ever felt before. Not even from Gildas.
I kissed him back.
Against the lucid ramblings of my mind, I kissed him. Pushing aside the anguish in my soul and the fear in my heart, I kissed him. Because I too needed him, because I was drowning in everything I harbored inside me and perhaps, he was my salvation.
The labored panting of our breaths was the only sound in the rainforest once our lips finally separated. Art still held me fiercely to him, and I could feel every inch of his firm body against mine. My heart beat furiously inside my chest. His wet lips brushed mine, and they instinctively parted, giving in to him. I felt him smile right before he kissed me once more and I could not comprehend why, but I was lost in him. He gently bit my bottom lip, pulling it slowly then sucked it and I gasped. My eyes opened, and I stared at him.
Dread enveloped me once the fog cleared.
Oh, Blessed Mother Goddess what had I done? He must have noticed my reaction because his hands loosened on me and his gaze filled with concern. I stepped out from between Art and the tree, and the ramblings of mind became louder.
This was wrong. Exceedingly wrong. I could not do this to him.
“Mo Sgòthan…”
I shook my head as a tear escaped me. “I am truly sorry Art. I cannot do this to you. I am not well. I do not know what I need. I know your words are sincere, but I shall not use your love in a mere attempt to calm the ache in my heart. I cannot do this, not to you.” Without awaiting his answer, I turned and walked away from him.
As I should have done from the start.
CYNWRIG
* * *
“I don’t belong here, Cyn.”
My fingertip wiped the tear that had created a new trail on Briana's cheek. Her skin glistened as the sunrays that filtered through the cherry blossom filled branches touched it. "My Goddess…"
"No. Stop. You need to stop. I know you want to make me feel better, but the proof is back there, in your village. They don't believe in me. They don't want me there, and frankly, I'm not sure it is where I should be. I don't know who I am anymore. Losing Grandpa ripped something away from me that I desperately needed. He died in my arms and here I am, playing house with you and trying to learn things that are bigger than me. I'm trying to be someone that I know I can't be! That I will never be… I hate this. Those people are right. I'm a failure, Cyn. I can't do this, and I don't want to!"
She shouted, and turned away from me. Her harsh words had been clear, yet our connection was wide open, and the emotions flowing into me spoke the words she was trying her best to hide. She covered her face with both hands while her pain flooded me and mixed with mine. Pain, which was all too familiar to me. I knew what was truly in her heart because I had carried it with me for innumerable years.
“It was not your fault, my Goddess. You are not responsible for his death.”
The dam that was holding her, shattered with my words. She covered her face with both hands. Her body began to shake with the raw emotion that burst from deep inside of her. The one she had been hiding from me. I embraced her just as her legs gave out from under her and sat us on the flowered cover ground while she cried in my arms.
“It is not your fault.” I declared over and over finally understanding myself what Art and Eisha had been trying to tell me for centuries. I too had carried the guilt and agony that ripped through me with every single breath. The pain of losing Mo meantóir.
“He gave his life for me, Cyn, after we had the most horrible fight, we could have ever had. I was mad at him for lying to me. I was so angry with him. I left on that trip after he asked me not to. I didn't even answer his calls because I didn't want to hear his voice. I resented him for hiding the truth from me my whole life.”
She said between sobs as she looked into my eyes, releasing the truth she had been fighting to accept. She shook her head as the tears fell freely from her eyes.
“He gave his life for me, and I didn't even get to say I'm sorry.” Her voice broke and ended in a whisper.
“There was no need to say ‘I’m sorry’ because he knew how you felt. He loved you, my Goddess, more than anyone ever will. He kept the truth from you because he was trying to protect you. He knew it was not right. Nevertheless, he did what was necessary to make sure you were safe. I am certain he carried guilt for that fight as well as the part he had in it, yet he knew you loved him, regardless of what had happened between the two of you. I can assure you his love for you never wavered. One fight does not erase everything you were to each other. He knew your heart.”
Her head lifted from my chest and her tearful gaze settled on me. I could feel her desperate need to believe what I was saying.
“How do you know?”
A faint smile curved my lips as I cradled her cheek and caressed her skin with my fingertips. The answer was so simple, a part of me was shocked she even had to ask.
"I know because that is the way I love you, my Goddess. There is nothing you could ever do or anything that could transpire between us that can make my love for you lessen or disappear. I would say you stole my heart, but I gave it to you willingly. No matter what happens neither to us nor between us, I will always love you. I shall always be there for you. I too will protect you with my life if necessary, because this existence no longer belongs to me, but to you. I was born for you. I am for you. Just as Mo meantóir was for you.”
Our lips sought each other satiating the need of our essences and sealing the vow. We sat in the cherry blossom clearing, and I held her close to me as her tears spoke the words that she was no longer able to speak. I remained silent, knowing her cries were needed for her to deal with this pain. Confronting this reality was the only way to let go. It was not easy, and it would take time, I was aware of that. Nevertheless, she would not go through this alone. No matter how long it took for her to heal, I would always be here, beside her.
I would be her strength when she had none.
CHAPTER 3. ENCHANTED
BRIANA
* * *
“I don’t know where to go from here, Grandpa. I feel so lost. I’m not sure what to do…" I kept my voice low enough so that I wouldn't disturb Cyn. It was the middle of the night, and there I was, sitting on the rug, and staring at Grandpa's Spiritual Journal.
My fingertips traced the lines of the Tree of Life that been masterfully carved on it, and his Clan symbol beneath it. I watched it like I was waiting for it to come to life. I thought about how many times Grandpa must have held the journal in his hands, how he must have enjoyed writing in it and creating a legacy that Cyn would one day get to appreciate. He had practically raised Cyn, and he had taught him everything he knew. When the others disagreed, when the rest of the order had opposed him he made sure Cyn would always have his guidance… even after he was gone. How many times had he sat with Cyn, sharing the knowledge written on these pages? How many lessons, stories? Grandpa loved to write as much as I loved to read. He had been an amazing teacher during the years I was homeschooled. Looking back on it now, everything seemed so different. I had spent so many precious moments with Grandpa as I was sure Cyn had. Except, two completely different men had raised us. Cyn had been with the High Pr
iest. He had been raised and mentored by the Àrd-shagart of The Order of The Druids. Nels Anwell had been the greatest Priest his people had ever seen. No other had mastered the elemental magic like he accomplished to do. Everyone had loved him. I had gotten Grandpa. The man beneath the shell. A broken man that had renounced his Goddess and nature, his soul to make sure I would be safe. He had forsaken everything for me. I appreciated everything that man did for me. I had spent so many beautiful moments with him and loved him with every inch of my heart. Still, there was a part of me, especially now, that mourned the fact that I never got the chance to meet the Àrd-shagart…
“…And I never will.”
I tried my best not to cry as the words slipped through my lips, I honestly did, but I couldn't help it. I needed him now more than ever. The tear slipped down my cheek and fell on the wooden cover. A small gasp left me, and I hurriedly wiped it dry with the edge of my top. My eyes searched Cyn's face, but he was still asleep. Standing up, I slipped my feet through my flats and pressed the journal to my chest. I opened the hut's door. Fresh misty air greeted me the moment I stepped outside. It was a strange thing to be in the middle of the rainforest. It was a warm environment but the vast quantity of trees that surrounded us, especially in the village, provided almost a cool mist that negated the otherwise heat infused climate. It served as our kind of air conditioning in a way. The darkness surrounded me while my eyes searched the area. The only light came from the glow of the moon that filtered through the foliage of the gentle giants above me, and the lit torches along the main path. A small smile curved my lips. It was such a beautiful sight. Whatever challenges I was facing, that was something I would never be able to deny. This was such a mesmerizing place.
I walked a few steps into the main path until I was able to see the rest of the huts. Cyn's was the closest to the entrance, while the others were deeper into the village. It had been his way of ensuring he would be able to defend his people if they were found again. Art and Eisha's hut followed, located in the center of what was the real beginning of this place, they were almost side by side and blocking the other homes. The rest of the Warrior huts were placed strategically along the edges of the village. If by any chance the Romans were able to break through the magical barriers that protected this place, they would encounter a Warrior first, no matter which path they took.
The dancing flames of the torches brought my attention back to the huts. Their moss covered stones, and the flower vines than ran over them created the most incredible patterns. They seemed painted on or perfectly arranged by a set designer. I chuckled. It reminded me of the night I had first been here with Cyn. My heart constricted as the memory of that night played in my mind. My life had seemed so perfect then. I couldn't help but stare at Eisha's hut. So many things had happened since then. I had hoped that night that she and I would become great friends. She meant so much to Cyn… that hope was gone now. My gaze settled on the journal I held, and my eyes teared up again. Taking a deep breath, I turned around and walked my way back.
A few minutes later I stood in front of the entrance to Blessed Oaks Grove. I closed my eyes, concentrating and reached deep inside me for the magic. I instantly felt it pulsate in response.
“À sealladh”—Disappear.
My skin tingled and shimmered for a fraction of a second then I saw the slightest of changes around me. It was like a very thin, and transparent film had enveloped my body. It almost floated around me. Although I had seen Cyn do it several times while he taught me, it never ceased to amaze me. This was magic. I could do magic. I took a step forward, crossing the protection ward and stood on the other side. I took a moment to assess my surroundings. The night was still, and the only sounds around me came from the crickets. I took a deep breath and began to walk. I had taken this path with Cyn repeatedly, but this was the first time I was doing it on my own. Honestly, if he knew I was here by myself, it would probably scare the bejesus out of him. I made a face, I shouldn't exactly have gotten out of the hut without at least telling him, but I needed space to think, and he would have never agreed to me being outside the village on my own, so yeah.
“He’s going to be so pissed.”
A sound reached me, and I whipped around, my heart slamming against my chest. "Was that a chuckle?" Was someone here? My gaze searched the trees and bushes that surrounded me, but there was no one there. At least no one I could see.
Brilliant Bri. This was just what you needed, to be murdered outside the village.
"What on earth made me think this was a good idea?" Now I was paranoid. I continued forward, glancing around me every few minutes to make sure I was in fact alone. Grandpa's Journal was against my chest in a deadly grip. I walked and walked some more. Was I lost? It had been quite a few minutes, but I still couldn't see the cluster of trees that marked the entrance to Cyn's hidden waterfall. I stood in the middle of the path and looked towards my left then my right, trees. Both sides had a freaking cluster of trees. I was sure this was where we usually stopped, but I was usually too busy drooling over Cyn to notice which way he took.
“Sweet mother of all things stupid! Good going Bri. Now you are lost and without a freaking clue where you are.” I sighed and looked at the two different paths. I almost felt like sitting on the ground right here and calling it a day.
“To the left, my Goddess.”
I jumped and covered my mouth, muffling a deafening scream and turned around to find a noticeably amused Cyn.
“What the hell?”
He chuckled and took my hand. “This way.”
After he had kissed my temple, we began to walk in silence. He remained ahead, guiding me through the trees. Once we got to the boulders, he held my waist and lifted me to the top. I moved giving him space to climb, and we jumped down on the other side. I closed my eyes enjoying the sound of the waterfall and letting the cooling mist of the water wash over my skin. Cyn took my hand again and pulled me further in, until we got to a set of boulders next to the waterfall’s pool. I sat on the grass still holding the Journal to my chest. Cyn sat across from me, his gaze briefly fell on the journal then he looked at me.
“Have you been following me all this time?”
A lazy smile curved his lips, and he nodded. He reached for me; his thumb caressed my cheek as he looked into my eyes, and then shifted his gaze to the waterfall.
“I knew the moment you got out of bed,” He said, following the cascading water with his eyes. “I needed to make sure you were all right.”
My heart warmed. Cyn wasn't even angry I had left without telling him. "How did you know I would come here?" His gaze fell on me again, and he tilted his head as though admiring me.
“I used to come here when I needed to be away from the village, to think, to deal with my penance or to be alone. It is a good place for solitude.”
“Yet, I’m not alone.”
His eyes twinkled with amusement, and he raised his shoulders as though saying, there's nothing he could do about that. My eyes narrowed at him, but his smile only grew wider. I smiled in return, at least he understood. I leaned in, kissing his dimple and when I leaned back, I noticed the depth and intensity in his stare. Sometimes the way he looked at me left me speechless.
Which is a tall order considering I talk a lot, like A LOT. Or used to, before…
I took a deep breath interrupting the thought, and only then noticing the lines that were glowing on Cyn's forearm. I reached for his arm, and he rested it on my thigh, pulling up his sleeve so I could see. The map of the village had once again formed on his skin, except this time the grid that built the protection wards around it and through it was glowing. The light moved on his skin, pulsing along each line creating something that resembled a pentagram. I had never seen the map do that before. My eyes followed the glow, and I realized there was a line that went past the village. It extended along his forearm reaching his wrist, and there it connected to a small white dot, which shimmered fading in and out. A smaller grid surrounded it. T
he waterfall was also protected.
“That was my second indication that you would come here.”
I gasped. “Is that me? That little light?” He nodded. “You are a professional stalker at this point, aren’t you Mr. Cynwrig Bressall?”
He laughed. "Like I said, I needed to make sure you were all right." He briefly gazed at the journal and leaned in kissing my lips softly. He stood.
“Where are you going?” I asked confused.
“You came here to be alone, my Goddess, and so you shall be.” He tugged at the edges of his shirt and pulled it over his chest, taking it off. His linen pants followed. "I am going to take a swim."
I sighed, looking at the reflection of the water illuminated by the moon on his bare skin. It was like seductive waves dancing on his perfect body. He chuckled bringing my eyes back to his and stepped on the rock then dove into the pool.
My fingers traced the tree on the journal while my eyes followed every single line. The cover shimmered and opened as it usually did when I touched it. I began to turn the pages, focusing on the Ogham scripture inside it. Each prayer, each spell was lost on me since I hadn't fully learned how to read it yet. Cyn had taught me a few basics, but I had concentrated on learning how to speak Gaelic and learn a few things I could use to communicate. Although a lot of Cyn's people spoke or understood English, I had wanted to be able to talk to them. I wish I had dedicated more time to the scripture. I had never wanted to read this as much as I did tonight. I closed the journal and hugged it tightly, resting my back against the boulder. I searched for Cyn in the water and found him standing on one of the rocks right under the cascade. The water fell over him, sliding down his long hair, shoulders, and continuing over his bare, firm, body. The sight was glorious. I blushed with the direction of my thoughts and stuck a post it on it to revisit them later. He dove into the water again, and I looked at the journal.
Renewed Magic (The Ancient Magic Series Book 2) Page 4