“You,” I mouth, looking up into his eyes. His features are dark, venomous, lethally attractive.
His neck works as he swallows. Leaning down to put his face in my neck, he inhales and then whispers, “You.”
With him this close I can smell him. The same scent that fills his house with memories is taunting me right now. I glance at my cousins, but they’re oblivious to anything except the music and staying upright. Windsor is wrapped around a man—Maverick—and Morganna and Chloe are laughing, probably at the fact that Maverick couldn’t stay away. We’re hidden by the mass of moving bodies and colored laser lights.
Cody fingers the white sash, then picks up a strand of my fake brown hair. “Last night of freedom, then?” he asks, talking into my ear over the music. The tenor of his voice sends shockwaves to every nerve ending in my body. Between that and the alcohol, I’ve forgotten why I hate Cody Ridge. He inhales loudly by my ear, causing my skin to prickle with warmth. My fucking traitorous body. “I thought blondes were more my thing?” he asks, tightening his grip on my waist.
Oh, God. What am I doing? Leaning up on my tiptoes, I throw my arms around his neck and press my open mouth against his soft, full lips. I do exactly what I’ve wanted to do since he gave me an almost kiss in his living room. There’s no denying what this kiss means. I let my tongue wander into his mouth and am rewarded when he lets his slide against mine. His hands splay over my ass. He pulls me against his erection, hard and ready right now. This is his way of telling me what he wants and is asking if it’s what I want. I’d fuck the man right here in front of everyone if it meant I could be with him one more time—feel this connection to another human being. I could play pretend one more time before I become the wife to a noble, fine man who will never make me feel like this for as long as we live.
“Yes,” I say, teeth clicking with his. I repeat myself, “Yes.” He smiles against my mouth. More insanely hot teeth clank against mine. He pulls my lip into his mouth and bites down. It almost hurts, but feels so fucking good I actually moan. Sexual desire hits me all at once. Let me tell you, after nothing like this for weeks, the feeling is overwhelming. My stomach is flipping, my pussy is soaking my panties, and my mind focuses on one thing. Cody. The way the top button of his shirt is undone, showing the bottom of his throat, that hot way he has his hair slicked back and to the side, and of course how utterly, tragically in love with him I am.
“This way. Come on,” he commands, without breaking our kiss. I’m supposed to be angry with him. Mad. Hurt. Upset. Ignoring him should be my favorite sport, but the lure is too strong. Because tonight I can’t say no, I follow him, holding his hand as he walks us through the hot bodies swaying to the beat. His steps are quick and precise. He knows exactly where he’s going as he leads me down a dark hallway and into a door near the rear stairway exit to the street. He closes the door behind him and slides the lock into place. Our eyes adjust when he flicks on the overhead light. It’s dim, but it still feels like sunshine in comparison to the club on the other side of the door. There’s a couch, a coffee table and not much else in here. We don’t need much.
I take a step back away from him and take the wig off, letting it slide to the floor. With the remaining bobby pins out of place, my blonde waves are down, cascading over my shoulders. Cody doesn’t move. He watches me intently, his gaze flicking from one body part to another. His eyes are a mask of indifference, but his chest is rising and falling at a hurried pace. “What’s the matter, Cody? Cat got your tongue?”
His nostrils flare, his eyes sparkle. A ghost of a smile crosses one corner of his mouth the second before he grabs my waist, forces me down on the couch, and kisses me like he owns me. With one hand he plays with my hair, and with the other he works up my dress that is tighter than hot sin. “I plan on showing you just how present my tongue is,” he growls, tilting my head up by tugging my hair. He drags his nose down my throat, over my chest, and settles between my legs. My body is buzzing with excitement. Every pleasure sensing cell is concentrating on where he’s touching me. I can’t help the moan when he slides my panties down my legs and parts my legs with his head. The shaved sides of his head tickle the inside of my thighs. Warmth floods my core. “You want that, right?” Cody asks, his lips tickling my pussy as he speaks. I raise my hips toward his mouth. More. I need more of him.
I can’t speak—the sensations are too much, so I take his head with both of my hands, grab him by the ears, and guide his face where I want it. He stops when he’s so close that I can feel his warm breath on me. “I need to hear you say it. What do you want, Lainey?” I’m frantically panting like a dog. I’m so hot for him. “This is what you want?”
“I want you, Cody,” I say, still with my hands on the sides of his stubbly face. “This. I want your mouth on me. I need your dick inside me. I want you. All of you.” That about covers it. This isn’t an old habit dying hard, this is me falling back down the rabbit hole. A druggie getting her hit of drugs. A woman grasping at the last shreds of a former life.
He smiles with his eyes, pleased with my dirty talk. “You’re so fucking wet for me,” he says, dipping a finger inside me. I keep my gaze fixated on his hand and sharp angles of his face, shadowed by the dim lighting. Even still, this man is akin to a dream. Or a nightmare. Right now, it’s both at the same time.
He settles between my thighs with his tongue licking small circles around my clit. I scream out. Not his name, no. I can’t even remember my own name. “Fuck, I’ve missed this. I want you. I want you so fucking bad that it hurts,” I rasp out, pulling his face into me. I melt into the couch when he slides his fingers inside me while continuing his assault with his tongue. He likes the encouragement, so I tell him exactly what I like and he groans in frustration. He wants to be inside me just as much as I want him to.
I arch my hips up to get his fingers as deep inside me as they’ll go and because I need more. “I’m about to come,” I whisper, gently bringing his face up so I can see his eyes. They’re shock blue and full of complete and utter satisfaction and hunger. Thankfully, he keeps his mouth on me and his fingers inside me. I repeat in a breathless whisper, “I’m about to come and I want your cock deep inside me when I do. Can you help me?”
He kisses me one more time on my clit, a long lingering press of his lips, and then says, “I thought you’d never ask. Let’s get you out of this dress so I can fuck you senseless.”
“Yes. Please. Yes,” I say, rolling over so he can unzip the dress equivalent of a straight jacket. I stand because there’s no way it’s coming off lying down and Cody slides it down over my hips and pulls it off in a couple of tugs. He runs his hands up my legs, traces a path with his fingertips up the sides of my stomach, and ends with his hands in my hair. My whole body is on fire. He gazes at me with such intensity that I’m not sure what to say. Or think. Or what I’m even supposed to do. “I want you so badly,” I say, returning his gaze. Can he feel this connection between us? “Not just tonight, Cody. I want you always.” His eyes turn down in the corner. Just like that, sadness replaces the worshipping look of love. “What is it?” I ask.
He kisses me instead of responding and I let him because I don’t want to hear the words. I’m playing pretend right now. Gently he backs me into the coffee table and lays me on it. I stumble a bit as the alcohol is still pumping through my veins like crazy. I hear him unbuckle his belt and watch as his slacks hit the floor. Cody’s cock is standing straight, thick and ready. “I’d say I want to make love to you, but that wouldn’t be appropriate now, would it? So let’s fuck for old times’ sake. One last time before…” he says, his voice cracking at the last word. Before what? Before I marry Dax. My fiancé. The cloud of alcohol lifts for a second and I’m appalled with my actions. This is really it, though. My last time with Cody forever. I can give myself this as a goodbye present.
“Fuck me then. No emotions. Just for old times’ sake,” I say, gazing at him through lowered lashes. I spread my legs to give him a view, gu
ide his dick into my mouth, and push forward until he’s deep in my throat. Cody rolls his head back and looks at the ceiling.
“Yes,” he hisses, folding his arms behind his head. “Fuck yes,” he says again. I swirl my tongue around the tip and pop him out of my mouth. I spit on his hard, pulsing shaft and smooth the liquid with my hand. Cody’s busy unbuttoning his shirt. The dim light highlights every ripple of his abs, every line of muscle in his biceps, and the shadows they create make my mouth water. His chest tattoos look a little more sinister, and I think it’s perfect. I want to play with the devil right now.
“You’re slick now. Slip it in,” I say. Cody kneels in front of the coffee table, pushes me back on the long rectangular surface, and settles between my legs. He trails his lips up my neck as he teases the head of his cock at my entrance. “Inside. Now,” I command. Raising my hips to help ease his erection inside me doesn’t work. He uses a hand to push me back down.
He takes his time pushing the head in. “You are so tight, Fast Lane. So fucking wet and tight. I want to feel every fucking inch of you,” Cody growls, pushing in a little further, then stops. It has been a while since I’ve had sex.
“It’s only you. You were the last person to be inside me,” I say. This brings out the caveman in him, like I knew it would. He pounds into me, filling me solidly. His girth stretches me wide that I’ll feel him there in the morning long after he’s gone. I grab his face and press my lips against his. He slams his eyes shut and thrusts into me over and over. “Open your eyes,” I say. He doesn’t.
Instead he takes me by the waist and flips me over so I’m on all fours on the hard table. He enters from behind and starts his assault of punishing strokes. I moan because I love it when he fucks me doggy style. Reaching a hand around, he strokes my clit while he fills me with his dick. This is my favorite and he knows it. The pleasure is strong that it makes my legs weak. I know I’ll come soon. He picks up the pace, his skin slapping against my ass in loud thwacks as he hits the back.
“You feel so good,” he says, almost incoherently. “So fucking good.” I feel him grab my hair and put it over one shoulder. “I’m going to come,” Cody growls. Our sex noises are muted by the blasting volume of the music outside. I don’t think it would matter even if it were completely quiet. My legs start to shake as my own orgasm builds and builds.
“Keep fucking me,” I order. “I need more. More.” He plunges into me, his hand firmly on my hip. He uses it to pull me back onto him and I know I’ll have bruises there tomorrow—one for every one of his beautiful, punishing fingertips.
I let my head hang down and I come, exploding around his cock in waves so intense that my eyes actually water. He feels me coming because he groans and lets a string of curse words pass his lips. My legs tingle and the warmth of my orgasm floods my whole body in that relaxing, pleasurable way. He removes his fingers from my clit and puts both hands on my hips and pulls me back, hard.
I feel his orgasm inside me. “I’m coming,” he says as he quickly pulls his dick out of my pussy and lets a stream of cum land hot on my ass. He spreads my ass cheeks with one hand and I feel the tip of his cock at my back door. “I want my come in every part of your body,” he explains, pressing his large member a little further into my ass, letting a hot burst of his juices leak into me.
“That feels so good,” I moan, letting my head lie on my arms with my ass high in the air. God, I want more of this. “Fuck me in the ass, Cody. Just a little.” It hurts because he’s so large, but it also feels so good to be so full. He presses in more and I flinch.
“Does it hurt?” he asks, rubbing my hip with a big, warm hand.
I shake my head, adjust, and tell him I want more. He sinks in further and that’s literally all it takes for me to orgasm again. He’s not even all the way in and the pleasure is rocketing around me. He takes this opportunity to really go inside of me deeper and starts thrusting.
“Fuck, it feels so good. Your fucking perfect ass is mine. Do you hear me?”
“Yours,” I respond. More than my ass is his. He knows it. I know it. And I’m pretty sure everyone else knows it, too. He fucks my ass until he comes in a hot rush again, until I’m sticky and covered with his sweat and semen and sore in every orifice possible. He eats my pussy until I come all over his face for a third time. We only talk about how good this feels and guide each other to our next orgasm. We don’t talk about tomorrow, when I’ll wake up and go back to my fiancé and never see him again, let alone get to fuck him again. We don’t talk about how he tore my heart out with his cruel words.
His lips are still wet with my juices when someone pounds on the door. “Time to go,” Cody says. His eyes turn wary, almost as if he expected someone to interrupt us. We dress quickly, clean up as much as we can with the small sink in the corner, and he helps me back into my prison dress. My thighs stick together, and I’m so sore that I could have run a marathon…with my vagina. I tell him how amazing I feel, and he tells me how beautiful I am. He apologizes a million times vaguely. I don’t forgive him. Of course not. But it’s nice to hear him apologize. For a millisecond I think that if I were to forgive him, would that change everything? Could I break it off with Dax for good and in return get Cody forever? Somehow I don’t think it’s that simple.
We exit the shady room into the secluded hallway, my wig back in place, and it’s like we were never missing. Cody doesn’t follow me out of the dark hallway, though. He smiles sadly, leans into my ear, and whispers, “Maybe next time, in a new space.” Then he turns to leave up the stairs out of the rear exit. My stomach sinks as the finality sets in. The magnitude of what I’ve just done. How little it meant. How much it meant. Nothing has changed.
When I return to the table my friends are all just as drunk and none the wiser. I pull out my cell phone and send a text I’ve been stalling on. It’s not to Dax, nor to Cody. It’s to get the ball rolling with my destructive plan.
When I sit down, very carefully, I might add, Chloe pats me on the shoulder. “Told you this place is bitching, didn’t I?”
Narrowing my eyes, I look at her quizzically. She smiles a knowing smile and tips back a glass of champagne. Half of it runs down her face.
“Yeah. You were right!” I yell over the music.
“Time to go!” Morganna announces from her perch on top of the table. Her red soled heels lift and lower in front of my face as she dances.
Windsor is dancing with Maverick, some dirty ass dancing that should be reserved for the bedroom, but I don’t care. I throw back another shot and we head up to the street.
We get outside and the bus is nowhere to be seen. Maverick says he’s going to go get our party on wheels, which is sitting a few blocks down the road, and come back for us.
“It’s raining, though. We can just call him,” Windsor replies, holding his arm in a death grip.
Maverick quirks a brow at her, then looks at the rest of us. “Who told you Navy SEALs can’t get wet?” He jogs off, listening to a cacophony of female laughter behind him.
Chapter Twenty-One
Cody
It was a mistake. A huge one. I tried to keep my emotions hidden for her benefit, but they blared through like a rainbow flag in Hillcrest, California. It wasn’t just sex. I approached Dax to ask if I could see Lainey one more time before their wedding seeing as I wouldn’t be attending. I promised to disappear after. He agreed. The man knew exactly what would happen and he still agreed. I shake my head thinking about it. A testament to how much he wants me out of the picture, I suppose. He didn’t have to agree to it either because we made a deal fair and square. I would have told me to fuck off. His face held pity when he told me, “Sure, if she’ll see you.” Do I feel guilt for what happened in a back room of a night club? I can’t. Because it was with her. In my eyes she’ll always be mine. Dax is a respectable man who makes questionable decisions. Honestly, Dax didn’t even cross my mind. Being with her transports me back to happier times of my past. We were planning our we
dding when I left. That’s where I’m still at. Granted, I did need a little help from her friend, but she was easy to convince. I told her Lainey should wear a disguise. Not just so she’d blend in more, but because shit is about to hit the fan with V, and her out in the city probably isn’t the safest right now. She can take care of herself, for the most part, but she’s been out of the espionage game for years. You’d be surprised how lethal she is with a handgun and a bad attitude. When we dated we would go to the shooting range together and make it a game. Whoever could fire the most kill bullets in the shortest amount of time got to select a sexual favor. Sex with that woman would drive a man to do wicked things. Lainey is so far distanced from that side of her personality, I’m not sure what’s left of it.
It’s the day before her wedding. I haven’t heard a word from her or from Dax. The manly beast inside me wants to think he knew right away when he saw her what had transpired in the nightclub break room, but the logical part of me knows that if he found out I would know by now. Why was I hoping she’d tell him? That he’d find out? Am I still that desperately seeking her love that I’ve hit this new low?
Lainey responded better than I hoped. Her love for me is stronger than the disdain for my callous actions and words. I apologized because she deserves to know half of the truth before I leave her life. The sex, well, that was a bonus I wasn’t expecting and it was fucking mind-bogglingly hot. My dick hardens thinking of it. She let me fuck her so good that I’ll never get over that night for the rest of my godforsaken, lonely life. My daydreams used to be about sequences of numbers that I need to remember for coding, now they are flooded with Lainey’s pussy. How it tastes, the pink color of her folds as the head of my dick spreads her apart, the feeling of her wetness squeezing my cock as she explodes around it.
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