by Landis Lain
“Sasha Anderson,” said Kyzie.
Tears sprang to Brielle’s eyes. The break up was real, now. It was final. It had been final for about three weeks, but she’d been able to get through the Christmas holiday without out breaking down, by ignoring the fact that Damon wasn’t calling her. After all, they’d gone to New York to visit her grandparents and Damon was busy with his family. He’d sent Jada over after they got back in town to give her a beautiful gold charm bracelet with an anchor and a dolphin on it and Brielle had hoped that maybe he would reconsider.
Jada had given her the present and said, “I told him I’d give it to you but I wouldn’t take anything from him. I know he’s my brother but he is being such a punk.”
“It’s okay,” said Brielle.
“I never wanted him to go out with you in the first place,” said Jada. “I told him this was going to happen.”
“That he’d break up with me?” asked Brielle. “You didn’t think I was good enough for your brother?” The hurt sounded in her voice.
“Don’t be stupid,” said Jada. “I meant that I knew he was going to hurt your feelings. And it was going to wreck my friendship with you.”
“I don’t blame you for what he did,” said Brielle.
“Good,” said Jada. “Because I’d hate him forever if he ruined us.”
Brielle hugged Jada, “Deb sisters and friends forever.”
“Right,” said Jada, returning the hug.
The two struggled for a few awkward days to make sure that their friendship was sustained and finally settled on the tactic of not talking about Damon at all. Brielle tried to call him a few times, to see if he’d tell her what had happened. She didn’t want to ask Jada and Jada hadn’t volunteered any information. But he didn’t call her or return her calls. So she’d stopped calling.
Brielle had put the charm bracelet and her gifts to him in the farthest corner of her chest of drawers, under layers of clothes. Kyzie said she was crazy not to return his gifts to the store and get her money back, but Brielle didn’t care about the money. She’d wanted to throw the charm bracelet out, but at the last minute couldn’t bring herself to do so. She’d read the note he sent over and then ripped it up because she still didn’t know what had happened and he didn’t explain. The contents of the note still burned in her brain.
‘Bri,
I’m sorry about this whole thing. My whole life is crazy right now. But I want you to know that I’ll always love you even though we can’t be together.
D.
“Why would he tell me that he was through with Sasha and then keep messing with her? Why would he lie to me like that?” she asked in a pain filled voice, when she was back in her room talking to Sammie and Kyzie.
“Jada said that Sasha’s like eight months pregnant and the baby is Damon’s,” said Kyzie. “Jada said her parents are really mad, but trying not to show it because Damon is moping around like the walking dead.”
“Oh, wow,” said Sammie, eyes big. “So he didn’t lie.”
“He also didn’t tell me the truth,” said Brielle, voice hardening. “I would have understood.”
“Would you really?” asked Sammie.
“Maybe I would have been mad at first,” admitted Brielle. “But I would have forgiven him. It happened last school year if she is eight months pregnant. He told me about them. Maybe he could have given me the chance.”
“Oh, how scary,” said Sammie. She lay down on the bed. “Damon is seventeen and he is going to have a baby. Oh my God. My parents would freak straight out if that happened to one of us.”
“Right now it’s just Sasha’s baby,” said Brielle. “What’s he going to do? Marry her? He’s still in high school.”
“True,” said Sammie, nodding. “God, Bri, what if it was you?”
“It’s not me,” said Brielle in a tone of voice neither of the other girls had ever heard. They both turned to her in surprise at the glacial tone. “I’ll never be so stupid over a boy. Not ever again.”
“You can’t forgive him?” asked Kyzie.
“I hate him,” said Brielle, voice hard and unyielding.
“Why?” asked Sammie.
“He dumped me over the phone,” said Brielle, simply. “Like I was trash. He dumped me and didn’t tell me why.”
“But now you know why,” said Kyzie. “I did hate him, but now I understand. He doesn’t have time to have a girlfriend if he has to take care of a baby. You hate him because he got another girl pregnant?”
“No,” said Brielle. “It’s stupid and careless but it could happen.”
“You’re mad at him for not telling you the truth?” asked Sammie.
“Somewhat, but that’s not why I hate him,” said Brielle.
“Then why?” asked Kyzie.
“Because, he knew how I felt about him,” said Brielle. “He knew how I felt and he let me think that something was wrong with me, instead of respecting me enough to tell me what happened.”
Sasha
For Christmas Sasha’s mother bought baby furniture. She bought clothes and boxes of diapers for the baby. Sasha got a couple of outfits that she wouldn’t be able to fit until after the baby. Sasha thanked her mother solemnly and went back to her room. Her father sent her $300.00 in cash and a card. Sasha ripped the card up and thought to send the money back, but kept it instead. Who knew when her mother might go off the deep end again and throw Sasha out in the snow?
Sasha’s best friend Gabby had called and left Sasha messages that she was home from college and wanted to get together, but Sasha deleted the messages. She didn’t want anybody to see her like this. Her mother had asked her to attend church but Sash balked, and surprisingly, her mother had not pushed it. The only place Sash went was to the doctor’s office for her prenatal visits, which were uneventful. She felt the baby kick and she could never get comfortable at night. The queasiness had finally passed; now that she was eating her mother’s cooking regularly and resting in her own bed. She looked around her room at the pink and whiteness of childhood. In a few months, Sasha was going to be a mother. Somebody was going to put on those diapers and baby clothes. She looked at the crib sitting in the corner of her bedroom. Damon still had not called her. Sasha was anxious and unhappy, but she didn’t make the mistake of calling Damon. He would call. He was a decent boy. Isn’t that why she had approached him in the first place? She kept hope in her heart and willed the phone to ring.
Damon
“Hey, D, man, can you meet me over at Ephraim’s?”
Damon answered the telephone summons from Stump without asking any questions. It was, December 31, in the evening, dark, cold and frigid like Damon’s mood. Stump’s voice had been laced with fear and stress. He banged on Ephraim’s front door and it was immediately snatched open by Stump, who looked like he hadn’t slept in a week.
“What’s up?” asked Damon, stepping into the house. The heat was overpowering in contrast to the outside weather. The living room was trashed, with liquor bottles, papers and clothing strewn around. Ephraim’s mother was a neat freak and Damon had never seen anything out of place before. Stump closed the door behind him.
“I been here two days,” said Stump.
“Where is Mrs. Armstrong?” asked Damon.
“She got called into a double shift at the prison,” said Stump. “Then she got mandated for overtime because somebody didn’t show up. She didn’t want to leave him alone because he’s been acting all depressed, so she called me.” Stump gestured towards the back of the small house. Damon gave Stump a sharp look.
“What’s going on?”
“I’m not sure,” said Stump. “But he been drinking and crying and acting straight up nuts for hours. That’s why I called you.”
“Ephraim, drinking?” asked Damon, and then sprinted back to the closed door. Ephraim never drank. He claimed that alcohol tasted like piss.
Damon tried the bedroom door, but it was locked.
“Yo, E, man,” he called. “You in
there?” Silence. A silence so ominous that Damon turned to look at Stump.
“How long has he been quiet?” asked Damon.
“Few minutes,” said Stump, shrugging his shoulders. Damon hammered on the door with his fist. Still no answer.
“Break down the door, Stump,” said Damon, after a few minutes.
“Man, I don’t want to wreck Ms. Armstrong’s crib,” protested Stump.
Damon threw his shoulder into the door. He heard the wood splinter but the door still didn’t give.
“Come on man, help me,” said Damon.
“I’ma tell her you did this,” said Stump adding his considerable bulk. With both of them pushing the door gave in a few minutes and Damon rushed into the room to find Ephraim sprawled on the bed, his lanky legs hanging off the side and head slung back at an odd angle.
The room was trashed.
Damon rushed over to Ephraim and grabbed him by the shoulder. He shook him hard and called his name. Relief streaked through him as he realized that Ephraim was still breathing.
“Ephraim, wake up, fool,” he said.
For long moments nothing happened. Then, finally, Ephraim opened bleary eyes and whispered,” Hey D, was sup?”
The smell of liquor breath and a seventeen year old’s two day old body odor rolled over Damon, causing his stomach to pitch. Ephraim’s eyes rolled back and his head flopped to the side cutting short Damon’s sigh of relief. Damon grabbed him under the shoulders to sit him up but Ephraim was boneless.
Damon slapped Ephraim on the cheek with an open hand. Ephraim snapped to attention.
“What’s wrong wit’ chu, fool?” asked Ephraim. He swung back, but missed.
“What did you take, E?” asked Damon. He sat the boy up on the bed with difficulty. “He do anything besides drink?” He looked over at Stump, who shrugged.
“I don’t know if he took anything,” said Stump. “He been drinking since I got here, anything he could get his hands on. He cleaned out his mama’s little bar over there by the kitchen. I didn’t see him take nothing, but he been to the bathroom a couple times.” Damon got on his cell phone and called his brother, David and explained the situation. David advised him tersely. He hung up.
“Let’s get him in the shower,” said Damon. He lowered his friend to the bed gently and stripped down to his baggy pants and bare feet. He could grab some of Ephraim’s clothes later.
“I ain’t undressing no dude,” said Stump.
“Just help me drag his butt to the shower,” said Damon, rolling his eyes. Stump pushed Damon out of the way and hefted Ephraim over one shoulder. Once they got into the small bathroom, Stump stood Ephraim up in the shower and Damon turned on the cold water. Ephraim screamed and fought like a tiger until they were all soaked and bruised. Stump held him pinned to the wall until the fight went out of him and they dragged him out of the shower, everyone’s teeth chattering.
Stump went into the hall to get some towels and Ephraim started to cry, great wrenching sobs that made Damon’s stomach twist and knot. Damon helped him out of the shower and Ephraim slumped onto the toilet.
Stump took one look at the sobbing Ephraim and said, “I’ma go change and clean up the living room some, okay.”
Damon nodded and grabbed one of the towels. He draped one over his own shoulders and then draped one over Ephraim’s heaving shoulders.
After Ephraim had quieted down somewhat, Damon spoke quietly.
“What happened, man?”
“I talked to Kelly,” said Ephraim, voice dull and lacking inflection. “You know, we been talking some, lately. I was trying to understand. I asked her why she killed my baby and she told me that it was for the best, that I would thank her later. She said our lives would have been hell with a baby. She said she still loved me, but if I was going to hate her, then we couldn’t be together.”
“Okay,” said Damon.
“And then,” said Ephraim. “Stump called me and told me about you and Sasha. And how Sasha is going to have your baby. For the past few weeks my life has revolved around drinking away my pain, literally every day, and every now and then I just want to go to sleep and not wake up, thinking that it will be the only way out of this mess. I don't know how to tell her what I need to tell her.”
“Tell who?’ asked Damon.
“Kelly,” said Ephraim.
“Aw, man,” said Damon. “Tell me, instead. Why you this upset because I got myself some trouble?”
“You got a babe pregnant that you don’t even love,” said Ephraim, bitterly. “And she’s having your baby. What’s so wrong with me that Kelly couldn’t have mine, when she claims to love me and I know I love her?”
“Nothing, man,” said Damon. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“First my daddy, now my girl,” said Ephraim, misery covering every layer of his skin like a blanket. “How come nobody loves me enough to stick around?” He started crying again.
Damon felt completely overwhelmed.
“Man, I’m here. Stump is here,” he said, squeezing Ephraim’s shoulder. Ephraim’s face brightened a little. “And yo mama is going to be here in a few hours and kick your butt for trashing her place.” Ephraim laughed weakly and then grabbed his head.
“Oh,” he said. “My head is killing me.”
Stump came into the room carrying a cup in his hand. He handed it to Ephraim.
“Man, what is this stuff?” said Ephraim, peering at the dark liquid suspiciously.
“Coffee,” said Stump. “Drink up, boy, it’ll make you black.”
Ephraim rolled his eyes and sipped. He winced and put the cup down on the bed table hastily.
“That’s nasty,” he said.
“Last time I make coffee for your ungrateful butt,” said Stump.
Ephraim stuck up his middle finger. He got a weird look on his face and whirled around, lifted up the toilet seat and threw up his guts. He threw up so long and hard that Damon thought Ephraim was going to shake apart. Later, Damon and Stump changed the sheets and got Ephraim into his bed. His legs were still wobbly from drinking and throwing up.
“I can’t believe I’m tucking in a hard leg,” said Stump, complaining. “I could be someplace with a nice babe, hugged up sweet, ringing in the New Year and getting some kisses.”
“Kiss, Damon,” said Ephraim, showing feeble signs of humor.
“Man, naw,” said Stump, shaking his head.
“Next time you try to drink up all the liquor in Lansing,” said Damon, kidding. “Don’t call me.”
“I didn’t call you,” said Ephraim. “But thanks for coming. I love ya’ll.” He sat up and slung his arms around both of them, pulling them down towards them.”
“Cut it out,” said Damon.
“We love you, too, man,” said Stump, pushing Ephraim back against the pillows. “But don’t be acting all shaky.”
When Ephraim went to sleep, Damon called his father and told him what had happened and that he was going to stay over and make certain Ephraim was really okay. His father told him that he’d be by himself to check on Ephraim and made good on his word by arriving a few minutes later. He woke Ephraim up and talked to him for a long time while Damon and Stump cleaned the house. When Mr. Hamilton came out of the bedroom, he nodded to the two boys.
“He’ll be all right,” he said. “He’s not right now, but he’ll be all right. He fell asleep again. When he wakes up, see if you can get him to eat something.”
“Okay, dad,” said Damon. Stump slumped on the brown leather couch.
“I didn’t know he was that upset,” said Stump. “I wouldn’t have mentioned your situation if I thought it would send him over the edge.”
“It’s cool, man,” said Damon.
“So, how you doin?”
“I’m aw-ight,” said Damon, leaning back in the chair across from Stump.
“You still going away to school?”
“No,” said Damon.
“Man, you can’t be all right, then,” said S
tump. “You been wanting to jet up outta Lansing since we was in diapers.”
Damon sighed. “It’s going to take a little longer than I thought.”
“I got an offer from Saginaw Valley to play football,” said Stump, sounding slightly ashamed.
“Man, that’s great,” said Damon, smiling and genuinely happy for his friend. “Maybe I can come and see you play sometime, when things get settled.”
They watched the antics of the New Year’s Eve crowd’s frenetic celebration on television.
“You know what’s funny?” asked Stump, eyes at half-mast.
“Naw, what?” asked Damon.
“I thought we’d be at a party tonight, hanging out. It’s senior year, we supposed to be out hanging, getting loose. Instead you are about to be a daddy, Ephraim is off his nut over some stupid babe, and I’m my way to college on a full ride when I thought I’d be here in Lansing the rest of my life like my old man. It’s all mixed up.”
“I know, but at least one of gets to go,” said Damon, weary to his bones.
Brielle
It was a heck of a way to spend New Year’s Eve. Brielle was visiting with her grandparents and family members. Her grandmother had told her to think up something that she was thankful for.
“So, baby,” said her grandmother. “What are you grateful for?”
“Oh, Grammy,” said Brielle. “I’m grateful that I have a great family and that I won state championship in swim and that my favorite people are doing all right, too.
“Kyzie told me what happened with the boy,” said Grammy, hugging her with one arm. “How are you doing?”
“It was bad for a while,” said Brielle, looking down at the floor. “Really bad.”
“Do I need to go and kill him for hurting my baby?” asked Grammy. She used her other hand to lift Brielle’s chin.
Brielle shook her head.
“No,” she said, a little sadly. “I’m better now. Damon has some problems that he has to deal with. But I don’t want to talk about him, if that’s okay.”